Flashback

3 months back (7th and 8th May 2003)

It was my last day in college, farewell day for my batch. After the usual hugs with friends, cries, ‘I will miss you’, ‘Keep in touch’ and other such dialogues, it was finally time to leave. I left college at 5pm and reached home around 5:20pm.

I went to my room, freshened up, changed my clothes and went to the kitchen. My mom was washing utensils – holding a bowl in one hand and applying the dish soap using the other hand.

I casually asked her for a cup of tea. My mom stared at me and said “You better start learning how to make your own tea. Being a girl, you will move to your in-laws’ house one day and there will be no mom to make tea for you. You need to make tea for everyone in the family”.

“Oh, come on mom. I am so tired today after the farewell party. Besides, what’s the rush to learn the ‘art of making tea’ so soon. I still have time”, I said with a mischievous smile.

Mom: “Well, you don’t have any more time left. Better start to learn cooking as well soon”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “We just got a wonderful proposal for you. The future in-laws just left our house few mins before you came”

I was shocked. I hoped that she was just kidding. But, having known my family for years, I suspected that this might be true. My heart started beating fast.

Me: “Mom, You are just making fun of me right?”

Mom: “No dear. We did get a nice proposal. Of course, nothing has been decided. We will definitely get your opinion before we commit to your in-laws”

‘your in-laws’  – These words struck my head like a hammer, and I started feeling dizzy. That pretty much meant that everything was finalized.

Me: “This is not fair mom. I just finished college. I haven’t even received my final year results. How can you get me married so soon?”

Mom: “Girls during my days were married off even before we completed school. Your dad married me when I was just 14 years.”

Me: “That was during your generation. Things have changed now. I want to work for few years. Please mom, please...”

Mom: “Enough Irene. Go to your room. We have enough people working in the family. We don’t need you to work to support us”

Me: “But, mom…”

Even before I could complete my sentence, mom stared at me with her eyes wide open. She raised her right hand, closed 4 of her fingers, and kept the index finger vertically on her closed lips – signalling me to keep quiet.

Drops of tears started flowing from my eyes. I ran out of the kitchen, and went to my room. I fell down on my bed and started crying. How can this happen to me? Please god, please... Let this be a dream.  I started praying to god more than how much I had prayed before my 12th class results were out.

But, I knew that things won’t change. I knew that no amount of hue and cry will get me out of this situation. I live in a village on the outskirts of Daegu. Though my state was high on literacy, early arranged marriages were still the norms in smaller villages. And, my family was pretty strict when it came to marriage.

I have 3 younger sisters and one older brother – The twins are in their last year of college, our youngest sister is still in high school and our older brother was the first one to get married before he even finishes college. I was in fact lucky that my family waited till I finished my college. Though it was not a big surprise to me, I still couldn’t believe it. The thought of marriage, leaving my parents’ home, and staying with a totally new family scared me. Most importantly, I wanted to work. Only very few girls from my village went to work. That too, they were forced to stop working after marriage. I hoped to work for at least couple of years before getting married and becoming a housewife. I had attended couple of campus interviews in my college and was waiting for the results. I was confident of getting selected. And, I had big dreams of working in top IT companies. But now, my dreams have been shattered.

I continued crying and stayed in bed the whole night. I didn’t even eat dinner that night. And, I don’t remember when I fell asleep. I woke up around 7am in the morning and went out of my room.

I saw my brother sitting on the sofa and reading a newspaper. I went and stood next to him, silently, without uttering a word. He noticed me immediately and said, “Congrats Irene!! I still remember you being a small child, but you are now ready to move on to the next phase of your life” – the enthusiasm in his voice was quite evident.

Me: “I… I want to talk to you.”

Brother: “Sure, I know you will have a ton of questions – like what is his name, how he look likes, what does he do, etc”.

Me: “Not that. It’s about the marriage itself. I don’t want to get married so soon..”

Brother: “You know about our family. I wish I could help but I didn’t even have a chance to oppose my marriage myself yet I am lucky to have a loving wife. This is out of my control. I had tried talking to our parents when the proposal initially came couple of months back. But, they didn’t listen. The groom is a doctor in the United States. She comes from a well-respected family. There is no way our family will let go of this wonderful proposal”

Me: “Couple of months back? So, this has been going on for quite a while then? At least you could have given me a hint. Why Oppa… Why… Why didn’t you tell me about this before? Just because the groom is from US doesn’t mean we should agree to this proposal. I don’t want to get married so soon”

Brother: “Sorry Irene. I didn’t want this to disturb your final year exams. Anyway, there’s no use talking about the past.”

“Listen… I have something to cheer you up... I have a photo of your fiancé’. Don’t you want to take a look at your future husband?” said my brother with a smile.

“As if I have a choice to say no...” I said with a frown on my face.

Brother: “Don’t worry. Things will get better. Here is her photo… “. My brother handed me the photo.

I took a look at the photo. The photo was of a tall boyish girl standing in front of a picturesque lake. She looked well built, quite handsome for a girl but still feminine.

Me: “Looks like she is quite tall. I am only 5″ 2. Won’t I look short in the marriage photos?”

Brother: “Ha.. Someone who said no to marriage just a few mins back is now worried about her marriage photos”.

I started blushing. My cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. I was still mad at my family for fixing my marriage so soon. But, hey, I am a girl. Which girl wouldn’t feel shy by seeing the photo of her fiancé’?

I held the photo close to my heart and ran to my room, smiling with shyness. I kept looking at the photo and trying to absorb the thought of marriage, when I suddenly heard my mom calling me – “Irene, come here fast. Your fiancé’ is on the phone. She wants to talk to you”.

My heart started beating fast. I came out of my room and went to the hall. The land line phone was located near the sofa. It was a black coloured phone, with the number keys in white. My mom was holding the phone receiver in her right hand. My brother was sitting on the sofa. My dad, some of my uncles, aunties and couple of my cousins were standing just a few inches away from the phone.

I had never talked to stranger in my entire and this one is going to be my husband soon. I took the phone from my mom. But, my hands started trembling. I kept the phone receiver on my ears, and tried to say Hello. But, I was too nervous, and only air came out of my mouth.

“Hi Irene. How are you?”

“I …. am…. fi… fine…”

“This is Amber here”

I just realized that I didn’t even know her name at that time.

“O….kay. How… ar… are… you?”

“I am good. You seem to be nervous. What’s up? Not feeling well?”

“N….No….. jus… just… nerv….nervous”. I couldn’t talk any more. I was just breathing heavily into the phone.

“Ok Irene. I think you are too nervous to talk now. I understand. I will maybe give you a call some other time. Bye.”

I was not even able to say bye. I placed the receiver on the phone. My cousins immediately started giggling and asking, “What did you guys talk about? How was her voice.. etc etc”. I was too shocked to pay attention to them, forget about answering them.

***

Amber started calling me every day after that. For the first couple of days, we talked for only maybe 10-15 mins. That too, she did most of the talking. I didn’t have a cell phone, and so she had to call the landline – which meant that there were always people around me when I talked to her. That really embarrassed me. I couldn’t talk to her freely so, there were no romantic talks yet. It was just “Hi”, “Bye”, and getting to know a bit about each other.

11th May 2003

Today was the 4th day since I first talked to Amber.

Amber: “So, how are things going?”

Me: “Going fine... How is it going for you?”

Amber: “Going ok… “

Just then, my mom called out to me – “Irene, you have a courier… come here”

I asked Amber to hold on for a moment and went to collect the courier. It was a brown colour package. I signed for it and received the package. Had it been some other time, I would have been curious to open it right there. But, since Amber was on the phone, I didn’t really bother to check what was in the package or who had sent it.

Holding the package in my right hand, I picked up the phone receiver with my left hand.

Me: “Hi... I am back”

Amber: “What did mom say?”

Me: “Oh... Nothing, It was just a package”

Amber: “Package? What is in it?”

Me: “I don’t know. I will open it after our call”

Amber: “Why don’t you open it now? I can wait on the call”

Me: “That’s ok... It’s not urgent. I can open it later”

Amber: “It might be something important. Go ahead and check it out”

Me: “Well, Ok”.

I opened the brown wrapping. There was a red gift wrap inside. Now, I started getting curious after seeing the gift wrap. I carefully removed the gift wrap. Inside, there was a white box. On the box, there was a photo of a cell phone. On the top of the box, there was this text in black, bold font – “Samsung Galaxy s6”. I opened the box and took out the silver coloured cell phone. I was not able to guess who would have sent this to me. I wondered if it was meant for someone else and was delivered to me by mistake.

Amber: “What happened? Are you there?”

Me: “Yeah, I am here”

Amber: “Did you open the package?”

Me: “Yes, It is a cell phone”

Amber: “Oh... who has gifted it to you?”

I was about to say “No”, but then realized it could be Amber who has gifted it.

Me: “Was it you?”

Amber: “Yes, my dear. Do you like it?”

It was the first time she had used the word ‘dear’. I felt Goosebumps. I was excited by my first gift.

Me: “Thanks. But, it was not necessary for you to…”

Amber interrupted and said, “Come on, we have been talking for 4 days now and hardly know each other. I know that you have no privacy with the landline. So, I thought that a phone would be a perfect gift. I ordered it online yesterday and scheduled the delivery so that I am on the phone with you when you receive it”

I started smiling, but was too shy to say anything.

Amber: “Ok. I was able to only get a cell phone. You need to get the SIM. Next time when I call you, give me your cell number. Bye for now”

Me: “Bye...”

14th May 2003

It took a couple of days before I could get a SIM. Today was the first day Amber called me on my phone.

Amber: “Hi”

Me: “Hi…”

Amber: “So, finally we get to talk with some privacy. Hope no one is around you...”

Me: “I am in my room. No one is around”

Amber: “Ok good. I have wanted to ask you something since the first day. It may be a bit premature, but it is important. Since it is an arranged marriage, I wanted to make sure you actually like me. Don’t agree to the marriage just because your parents force you to. I know it is too early to judge me, but tell me… do you like me? Are you really interested in this marriage?”

I was not sure what to say. It was true that I did not want to get married so early. But, if I told anything to Amber, that will surely reach my parents’ ears and I will be screwed. I can maybe tell Amber that I don’t want to get married now. And, she might even help put off the marriage. But, my parents will surely get me married off to someone else soon. And who knows how that ‘someone’ will be? He may not be as good as Amber. So, I decided to keep quiet.

Amber: “Are you there..?”

Me: “Yeah, I am here. Things are happening so fast. Like you said, it’s been hardly a week. So, I really cannot tell anything now. But, I do like you so far”

Amber: “Ok. No pressure. Let’s take our time to understand each other. If there is anything you want to tell me, feel free.