“What do you mean Ji Hyun’s not here?” Baekhyun felt weak on his knees and he plopped down on the couch. Her mother was sitting across him, crying and his father stood by her side, calming her down.

Baekhyun woke up this morning and found his way to Ji Hyun’s room. He wanted to check on her since she doesn’t look too good last night. He knocked several times but there was no answer, so he opened her door only to be greeted with a neat and unoccupied room. The aura in the room was different, as if there wasn’t anybody staying there to begin with. He felt his heart stopped beating for a while but he forced himself to walk to her wardrobe, hoping that it wasn’t anything that he was thinking of. But he was right. The empty wardrobe told him that she wasn’t there anymore. His tightened chest cause him to have a hard time breathing, but he ran out of the room anyway to look for his parents. He was confused and can’t think of anything. Everything feels so wrong, yet too real. As he arrived at the living room, his parents was already there and his mother was crying.

“ She’s gone, son..” That was the only words escaped her lips.

“I’m sorry, Baek. I’m so angry that day. I told her to leave, but I didn’t mean it. The truth was really hard to bear with my poor heart.” His mother added with tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Since when did mom and dad found this out?” Baekhyun asked as a pool of tears started to form in his eyes.

“Last two days. I went into her room to pick up her laundry when I found the letter her late sister wrote. It broke my heart and the fact that our Soo Hyun d-di-…”

She paused as her sobbing got louder and the fact that it was really hard for her to accept her daughter’s death.

“…d-died, I couldn’t accept. I thought that she was still here with us. She’s gone but we don’t know that. Ji Hyun came back that time so I confront her.She told me that you already knew about this so I got really mad that time. I thought she had manipulated you. I called her a liar and asked her to leave. That I hate to see her face.. I didn’t mean it back then. Honestly, I really like her. She was very nice to us. The only mistake she did was only to pretend to be your late sister.”

“I believe she did that for us. She knew our poor heart cannot accept the fact yet.” His father added as he tapped her wife’s back, trying to send comfort.

“ She….did it for you , mom and dad. It was Soo Hyun’s last wish for her to look after us. She did her part, maybe her way of doing it is unacceptable but she meant well. “ Baekhyun stated as he massaged his temple.

“Where can we find her? It isn’t too late to run after her, right?” His father blurted out and Baekhyun shook his head no.

“We should let her go. Even if she came back, everything would change. It can never be like before. Let her and us treat our very own wounds first by spending time away. She never belong to us from the beginning. She had her own life, her own dream. Let her set free and lead her life.”

“But you did love her, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes.” His mother said as she stared at her beloved son.

“I do, but I also believe that if it was meant to be, it will. Come high or hell, we would certainly drawn to each other. Even if she was at the end of this world, even if it takes years.”

Baekhyun stated as he went up to his mother and hugged her.

“ When that happen, I would not let you go anymore.” Baekhyun mentally promised himself as he tightened his hug.

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3 years later

Ji Hyun’s POV

I sighed at the sight of Mina and Hyunsik. They waved at me and I went to join them. Mina is the first friend I got from my workplace. She is really a good friend, but the only thing that bother me is her effort to hook me up with Hyunsik. He is my colleague and a respected senior. For the past two years, he never give up to win my heart. I told him that I can’t accept him but he just wouldn’t budge and still trying to win me over. Mina would always find ways to set us together and today she set us up for lunch again when she told me it would only be the two of us. I gave her a deadpan look before I sat and she send me an apologetic look.

“What took you so long, Hyunnie?” She said as she pouted. Their food was left untouched and they even ordered for me. I feel bad to see this, honestly.

“I told you I need to settle some works but you insisted on having lunch together. I see why now.” I glanced at her and both of them laughed.

“I need to go back to office now, girls. Got a meeting half an hour from now. Enjoy your lunch. See you girls later, okay? Don’t bother me, I would just grab some sandwiches later.” Hyunsik said as he pick up his briefcase and coat.

I nodded and waved him goodbye.

“Sorry for being late. We’ll eat together next time. Good luck on meeting.” I added and he raised a thumb in agreement, smiling as he leave.

Mina pinched my arm out of the blue after he disappeared.

“You heartless woman!” She stated with gritted teeth. I hissed in pain, rubbing the red mark from her pinch.

“What?” I asked nonchalantly even though I knew what she meant.

“Lucky you that he was very nice to let you off. He waited to eat together, you see.”

“I don’t mean it, Mina .I really got works to be done. It’s not my fault. Stop getting mad okay. I’ll make it up another time.” I pinched her cheek and she chuckled.

“You better do that.” She warned as she pointed a finger to me.

“Let’s eat first. It had cool down already.” I said as I dig into my fried rice.

“But why wouldn’t you try it out with him? He’s nice and he waited for you.” Mina said after a long silence and I sighed. This topic, again.

“I never asked him to. I’m not ready for this. I can’t.” That was my prompt reply.

“You won’t.” She corrected.

“I told you, Mina. He’s not…”

“..that guy from your past?” She cut off before I could finish and I froze on my spot.

“You need to move on. He’s not here anymore. You need to move forward. 3 years had passed, maybe he’s already in relationship by now.”

Her words stung me and I feel paralysed. My appetite disappeared and I put down my spoon, leaning against my chair.

“I don’t want to talk about this.”, I shook my head no.

“I want you to feel how is it to fall in love. Like I did.”

She had been talking about her crush who I don’t even know his name. She met him in an event last year and she fall in love with him. She said that the man treats her nicely even when he didn’t know her true feelings. Somehow, she believe that she was destined to him. Lucky her, I guess.

“That’s a different case,dear. I’m happy for you, but this is another matter.”

“But,..”

“ It’s all about this, Mina.” I put my right hand on my chest and she sighed.

“I know but I want to see you live happily. How long are you going to wait? He’s not here anymore.”

“ But his memories stayed. My feelings for him remained unchanged.”

“Can you live with only that?”

I nodded.

“ I can’t live without it. So don’t bring up this topic anymore. I’m leaving first. See you at the office.” I forced a smile to her before leaving. I knew she meant good but I really can’t.

That person’s warmth, that person’s smile.. I can’t forget. His eyes that disappeared when he smiled, his laugh, his touch, how our hands fitted perfectly, the look of love in his sparkling eyes, his whispers..I remembered it perfectly and nobody could replace that. Byun Baekhyun, I really miss you.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..........................

That night, my head was filled with him. Old memories came to haunt me. It’s as if we had just met yesterday. I long to be with him that I feel I could just run now to meet him. 3 years ago, I left to pursue my studies. It was really hard for me that I cried everyday, hoping to see him even for once. I regret that I left without a proper goodbye, and it was unfair for him. I left him with a smile, as if the next day we would meet again. I bet he would be very frustrated with me. Honestly, I left for my own good. Eventually, I would have to leave. One day, I must tell them the truth, its bound to be. It just turns out that they knew it by accident, in an unproper way I would say. They have every right to hate me. I lied to them and there’s no way I could justify that.

Is it possible for me to just come home and beg for their forgiveness? They must hate me a lot that they never search for me. Since last year I had been to their home, passing away them in my car. I would glanced occasionally to their house but never really stop by. Sometimes I would see his mother who was watering her orchids, or her father who was washing his car. But I never saw him. I wonder what happened to him. What he’s doing now? Does he miss me like I do? Or did he move on already, or had gotten married?

My heart tightened at the thought of him forgetting me. Honestly, I don’t want him to forget me. But I don’t want to be selfish. I lied to him, I took him for granted. Soo Hyun, sorry for causing pain to your whole family when I should have look after them for you. I’m such a bad friend.

I had been sending money to them though, to repay for every cents I used while living with them. I hope they received it well, and maybe to forgive me.

Now that I think about them, I’m reminded of my late sister. How I missed her, if only she was still alive by now. I had made enough money to shower you with luxury, my dear sister. But having all these wealth means nothing without my loved ones to share. Before I realized, tears rolled down my cheeks as I lied down on my bed and curled like a fetus. This coldness of being alone are killing me. I ended up sobbing louder, it doesn’t matter anyways. No one would hear, and no one cares. I don’t know how long I cried that night, but I drifted asleep in a bed of tears, accompanied by the starless night.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

I stared at my reflection on the mirror. I cried so hard last night that my eyes are swollen. Damn, I forget that I have to go to work today. I brought out my compact cushion and concealer, dabbing it vigorously around my eyes. Hoping that it could hide away my swollen eyes. I don’t realize that my eyes were swollen until one of my colleague asked and I ran my life to the ladies.

Well, it doesn’t completely hide my swollen eyes but it does look better. I hope nobody notice, especially Hyunsik and Mina. They are the kind of people who panic over small things.

I took a deep breath, and exhale slowly before I leave the ladies. Just as I stepped outside, Mina stood outside and she stared at me wide-eyed. Damn.

“Hey, what happened? You look awful! Who made you like this?” She rushed to my side and cupped my face in her hand. I took away her hand and hold it in my grip.

“Whoa. Relax okay. Something got into my eyes just now and I rubbed too hard that it became like this.” I lied to her because otherwise she would bomb me with questions that I can’t answer.

“You obvious liar!”, She stated while hitting my arms playfully.

“I’m not that dumb to believe that. Anyone who sees that would know that you had been crying. Since I know that you wouldn’t talk about it, I will let you off. But if you ever need someone to talk, just tell me.”

I pouted at her remarks and squeeze her hand in my grip.

“Thanks dear.”

She smiled and we head to our place when Hyunsik suddenly wave to us from a distance. He was talking to some people and he gestured us to him. We exchanged glances before I pull Mina with me to him.

I stopped walking when one of the man who was backfacing me turned around. It was a familiar face, it was Chanyeol. He smiled as he saw me and my heart skipped a beat. The man beside him made me breathless. Is it him? The guy I had been longing for? The man haven’t turn his face so I couldn’t guess. I returned to reality when Mina dragged me closer to them.

“This is Mina and Ji Hyun. They were the person in charge for this charity event.”, Hyunsik introduced us to the guests and that’s when the man turned his head to me.

It was him. It was Baekhyun. My mind was in a mess but I tried to maintain a calm expression. Be professional, Ji Hyun. I reminded myself.

“This is Chanyeol and his partner, Byun Baekhyun. They were a music composer and they would collaborate with us in this project.” Hyunsik added.

Byun Baekhyun.That name echoed in my head. He was standing in front of me and when our eyes meet, he smiled. There was a hint of nervous in his eyes and I could tell that he was trying to look calm. Wait, did he just smile to me? Shouldn’t he be angry by now?

“Oh?” Mina’s mouth formed an O and all eyes were on her now.

“Hi Mina.” Baekhyun waved, smiling at her and I felt a tug in my heart. What’s this feeling?

“Did you know each other?”, Chanyeol asked.

“We had met before.” Was Baekhyun short reply.

Mina nodded in agreement and I forced a smile.

“Long time no see, Ji Hyun.”, Chanyeol said suddenly and Hyunsik turned to me.

“ Did you know them too?”

Before I could answered, Chanyeol cuts off.

“Of course. We were close friends back then but haven’t see each other since we further our studies.”

“That’s great then. It would be easy to cooperate with them.”

“ Sure.” That was Baekhyun’s prompt reply as his eyes wandered to me and I quickly averted my eyes to Chanyeol. Chanyeol raised an eyebrow to me and I let out a smile. Somehow, I think the warmth that left me had returned.

Just then, Mina pulled me closer and whispered to my ear.

“That was my crush.”

That simple words made me froze and I felt my heart sank to the ground.