If staring was a contest, then without a doubt, I’d gladly proclaim these people as winners. I could feel Hyun gripping my hand tightly until both of our knuckles turned white. How could we be embroiled in a dating scandal at this point in our lives? Why now when everything and everyone are tangled in a complicated web of pretension, lies, deceit, and bitterness? 

Is it because I stopped paying a hefty amount for Dispatch to cover our previous relationship? Is that it? Traitors. I should’ve known better than to waste a decent amount of cash and trust a trashy, manipulative group of stalkers who masquerade and proudly call themselves as “journalists.” 

Anyhow, I didn’t expect to be the calmer one in the situation we’re in right now. It should’ve been the other way around but given the circumstances (the troublesome body swap), it’s going exactly as how our audience pictured it to be. There’s this huge possibility that any minute now, Hyun would actually hyperventilate from all the stress, confusion, and bewilderment. I shook our intertwined fingers slightly to break off her building tension.

She looked at me worriedly, torn between crying and wanting to faint. I gazed at her gently, trying to convey some assurance that I’ve got it all under control. The elbow nudging and suppressed giggles from our “audience” didn’t escape my hawk eye. 

I looked at her for a couple more seconds, not to give her more assurance but to stare ay my face. As shallow and narcissistic as it may sound, but up to now, I just can’t get over how good-looking I am, especially up close. 

I’m tempted to praise my handsome-ness once more (seeing yourself face-to-face without using a mirror is hella creepy yet daebak at the same time) but decided against it. As much as I’d hate to admit, but now isn’t the time to bask in my vanity. 

“Omo! Look at them! They’re doing it again! Having a conversation through mere eye contact! It’s the cutest thing ever! Kyaaa!” I heard Tiffany whisper excitedly to her annoyed and still very much pressed on keeping up with the act seat mate.

“Sssh. You can do your fangirl thing later, okay? We’re supposed to be upset here, with them ditching us to go to Jeju and the dating scandal. Remember. Just keep your mouth shut and your gaze down if you can’t bear it any longer. Don’t blow our cover just yet.” Sunny replied.

Tiffany was about to protest but the girl on her left, Taeyeon, elbowed her to maintain silence. Nice try, girls. A for effort. 

“Ya! Are you two just going to stand there?” Sooyoung asked, presumably in the meanest way she can.

Well, the show must go on right? Might as well play along and go with the flow.

“Hyung, Seohyun-ah! We deserve more than just your silent treatment! We all deserve a reasonable explanation! We deserve an acceptable reason!” Jonghyun said dramatically. 

He’s been watching those foreign romcom flicks again. Lee Jjong saying those overdramatic words? Psh. Is he still not aware that his attempt to be a serious dramatic actor needs loads of practice? I’m not saying I’m a good actor (recent events opened my eyes to that harsh reality) but at least I’m decent enough than him. 

“Care to explain this?” Minhyuk joined in, hoping to salvage the damage of Jjong’s phony act. 

“Hmmmm…What do we have here? Let’s see. According to Dispatch, you two have been dating for FOUR MONTHS….” Yoona scoffed. 

Really, Dispatch? 4 months? They really applied that stupid time frame to us? Is this a hoax or some big joke on us? They knew perfectly well that it’s YEARS we’re counting, not just months. But then again, perhaps this is their way of being ‘considerate’ when they selfishly outed us in public.

“…and it’s a serious relationship because both families have been spotted meeting together frequently, even going on overseas trips together.” Jonghyun continued. Well, at least now he looks and sound more natural.

“You guys haven’t reached the best part yet!” Yuri said excitedly, trying to control her laughs in between.

All eyes were on her as she summarised what she dubbed as the “highlight” of this dating scandal.

“It also says here that Jung Yonghwa habitually sneaks into SNSD’s dorm….” 

Okay, not a big deal. 

“….and has been caught multiple times CLIMBING OUT OF SEOHYUN’s WINDOW even if uri maknae’s room is located on the 17th floor. I repeat, he’s been PHOTOGRAPHED trying to escape using the emergency fire exit which is only accessible through a BEDROOM WINDOW.” Yuri nearly died from laughing. 

If there is a grave nearby, I’d gladly bury this woman along with my humiliation.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Taeyeon’s overly concerned voice empowered the room.

“Nope. Perfectly safe. AND YES. Before y’all ask. I’ve tried it before too.” Hyoyeon admitted.

“Same.” Sooyoung and Yoona added.

“Yeah me too.” Sunny confessed.

I kept my mouth shut as I recalled those times I did climb out of her window. Not once did I dismiss the fact that we were still being closely followed/monitored, but I haven’t consider them being able to actually take a picture of me in that particular scenario. I was more concerned on how they were able to take that shot and from where to realise the rest of SNSD closing in on me.

“Unnie, I….” Hyun began to explain.

“Don’t “unnie” me, Jung Yonghwa-sshi.” The six of them chorused.

“But I….” I interrupted.

“No, Seohyun-ah. Let the man do the talking.” Sunny demanded.

“I am the man!” I insisted.

“Since when did you grow some balls, maknae?” Taeyeon laughed.

“Uh, since birth?” I answered without thinking.

“OPPA!” I heard Hyun scold me secretly. 

I am instantly reminded that I am her and she is me. Aish why is this so confusing!

“I’m the one who has balls, not her!” Hyun said quickly.

Everyone, including me, was surprised with that random yet byuntae explanation of hers. Really, Hyun? 

“I-it’s not what you think!” Hyun continued, trying to save ourselves from our impending doom.

“What do you mean it’s not what we think when there’s pictures to prove otherwise! We’re not that stupid, hyung.” Jonghyun said, easily diverting the topic back on track. 

Thanks, bro. I owe you one. But then again, somebody please tell this namja that he needs to go immerse in some intensive acting workshops.

“Nobody’s saying you’re stupid, jashik. What we’re trying to say is we are not what Dispatch claims us to be. Yes, the photos are real, but those were taken months ago. Things are different now and I’m sure you all know about that already.” I said.

The room was filled with gasps and for a moment, I wondered why. I looked at them suspiciously before my eyes landed on that shiny silver thing on my wrist. Eris. Right. The body swap. Crap.

I am supposed to be Seohyun and as far as everyone is concerned, Seohyun doesn’t respond the  way I just did. 

“Not according to these photos and articles. As of this moment, the nation and Twitter world are feasting over the newly revealed idol couple.” Sooyoung said.

“Who gives a about those brainless articles?!” I answered back.

Again, a round of gasps and reprimands came through with my unintentional cussing. This switch is also loosening the screws in my head.

“What have you done to our Hyunnie you jerk! Wasn’t it enough that you broke her heart?!” Sooyoung lunged at Hyun.

“Hey!” I yelled protectively as I used Hyun’s body to shield my own from Sooyoung’s violence. 

“Unnie! Please! He’s, I mean, we are telling the truth! Don’t hurt him, or me, please! Violence wouldn’t help any of us!” Hyun begged.

Silence filled the room almost immediately until the girl obsessed with pink put an end to it.

“Oh my gosh you totally sound like each other now I almost believed you swapped bodies for real!” She gushed.

“BUT WE REALLY DID!” Hyun and I yelled desperately. 

“Omo guys, ladies! I can’t take this anymore, ottoke? Yongseo Couple are soooo soooo cute! Let’s just end this charad