Chapter Two

Mark was laying in his bed when he got a text from Jackson that read, “Party , don’t be late.” Mark really just wanted to stay indoors and finish the anime SHIKI but he knew Jackson would bust his balls if he didn’t show up. Deciding that what he was wearing was fine, just a pair of black skinny jeans and a white V-neck. Picking up his beat up white converses, and his leather jacket Mark headed out the door and towards the address that Jackson had provided.

It didn’t take long for Mark to find the party, it was only a couple of blocks away. The party was already in full swing, someone even already puking over the porch, his groans not enticing at all. Mark seriously didn’t want to be here. Mark however walked in anyway and started to look for his best friend. It was very loud, the music sending the drunken teenagers in an uproar of pure bliss. It was towards the back of the housing in a sort of gaming room that Mark found Jackson. There was a girl perched up on his lap and she was whispering in Jackson’s hear. The way Jackson’s hand slid from her knee up to her thigh made Mark cringe. He didn’t want her making Jackson laugh. He didn’t want to see them pressed so close together. Turning to leave Mark bumped straight into someone’s chest.

“I am so sorry!” Mark said before seeing a familiar face. It was a boy from the football team. He was tall and had short black hair, which just covered his forehead. He had a bad rep around school because he was always scowling but here at the party his smile seemed genuine.

“It’s okay, where have I seen you from? Oh yea you’re in Mrs. Peterson’s psychology class right? You sit up at the front?” The boy said.

“Oh yea, sorry I’m bad at names who are you?” Mark asked, moving a tad closer to hear what they boy was going to say.

“Jaebum, but most people call me JB. What’s your name?”

“Oh yea my name is-” Mark was going to tell the tall boy until he heard a drunken voice say,

“Mark! There you are I’ve been looking all over for you.” Jackson shouted. The boy was mostly likely lying seeing as Mark had seen Jackson on the couch the whole time he’s been here but he was to hurt to even say anything.

“Oh that’s right Mark, well Mark how about I get you a drink.” Jaebum asked, stepping closer to Mark.

“Sorry, my friend called me. Maybe next time?” Mark said before hurrying over to Jackson.

The Mei-Rin had left and now Jackson was surrounded by a few other drunken people. Mark could recognize a few but he had never personally spoken to them. These were Jackson’s friends not his.

“Mark…” Jackson dragged out drunkenly before reaching his hands out like a child who wanted to be picked up. When Mark got close enough to his drunken best friend, saying sorry a few times to people he bumped into Jackson had wrapped his arms around Mark and pulled the taller boy down into his lap. Mark started blushing immediately, but the people around him didn’t seem to care, a few girls even saying “Aw cute,” Before taking another sip from their red solo cups.  

“Jackson stop, you’re so clingy when you’re drunk.” Mark said trying to push himself away but the boy just held on tighter.

“Why aren’t you drunk yet? Someone get my best friend some shots he needs to unwind like the rest of us good people.” Jackson said to no one in particular but someone did come with a shot glass and a bottle of vodka. Just looking at the clear liquid brought butterflied to Mark’s stomach. The thought of getting drunk did not seem pleasant, they had school tomorrow and he wasn’t going to miss class because of a hangover.

“Take the shot Mark!” Jackson yelled shaking his friend a little bit. Mark was about to refuse until he saw that Mei-Rin had come back.

“Aw you took my spot,” She said, pouting in what she probably thought was a cute way. Mark just found it sickening.

“Don’t worry baby there’s plenty of Jackson to go around.” He said to the girl before lightly tapping Mark, signaling him to get up. No one else had seen but it still hurt Mark to be so easily replaced just because of this girl.

“Don’t worry you can have him.” Mark said getting up. He moved to take a seat on the floor in front of the table with his shot was waiting. It was practically whispering his name. When Mei-Rin took her “spot” back on Jacksons lap, Mark reached for the shot and took it back. The familiar burn hitting the back of his throat like acid. It was cheap stuff and it tasted like gasoline but hey most of them were in high school.

 As the night went on, so did Mark’s shot count, just watching Jackson flirt was hard enough but to see the way he was gripping at Mei-Rin was driving him mad. He nearly lost it when he finally saw Jackson kiss Mei-Rin. Everyone was cheering and hollering as Jackson cupped her face and made out with the girl. Mark felt like crying, but he wasn’t going to do that here, oh no somewhere safe like in his shower where no one could make fun of how pathetic he was being.

When Mark tried to get up the first time he nearly fell back over, his hand landing against the table to keep him slightly balanced. When his legs finally straightened up he made his way for the entrance way, but was blocked once again.

“Whoa where you going?” Jaebum asked, his hands landing on Mark’s shoulders to steady them.

“Uhh, Home I am going…there.” Mark said blinking up at Jaebum. Had the boy always looked this pretty? Never mind that, Mark needed to pee and he needed to cry in the shower focus Mark.

“It’s still pretty early, why not share a dance with me instead. Then go home if you still aren’t having any fun?” Jaebum said, his voice thick like syrup. Mark liked the way it sounded over the music.

“No, I…I don’t really dance at parties, and who says I wasn’t having any fun? See look I’m even drunk.” Mark said moving his hand over his body as if it explained just how much fun the boy was having.

“Oh come on you look like the perfect dancer, but if you really want to go home I’ll even walk you to the front door, but I really don’t think it’ll solve your problem.” Jaebum said.

“And what problem is that? I don’t have a problem.” Mark said defensively.

“Oh yea? When why were you glaring at the fencing captain? Jealous of the girl he’s with?”

 “What, no I don’t care what Jackson does?” Mark said before turning around to look back at Jackson who was still wrapped up in Mei-Rin. It was disgusting how they could just kiss each other like that in front of all their friends, some of which had their phones out and were taking pictures.

Looking had been just about the worst idea ever because it just made Mark feel even worse.

“You carry the face of someone whose heart is breaking.” Jaebum said, turning Mark around so that they were face to face. “Why not allow me to help with that, I’ve been told I’m a wonderful distraction.”

“I…I,” Mark wanted to say no but the hole in his chest just felt like it was getting bigger. What could be so bad about dancing with Jaebum once? “Fine, I’ll dance with you but only once then I’m going home.”

“Yes sir,” Jaebum said giving him a mock salute before grasping Mark’s hand and taking him to the main room where most people were still happily dancing.

Jaebum had brought Mark to the corner of the room which was one of the only areas in the tightly packed dancing area that wasn’t full.

Mark stood there awkwardly for a second, he seriously wasn’t joking when he told Jaebum he didn’t dance, Mark after all hated going to parties so he never needed to dance, aside the few times Jackson had come to him extremely excited over something or drunk. Just the thought of his best friend made everything worse.

“Okay I’m here now what?” Mark asked but was a little surprised when Jaebum grabbed Mark’s hips and held him flush against his body.

“You said you don’t know how to dance right? Well dancing at parties is easy. All you have to do is move your hips like this,” Jaebum said before rolling his body, moving Mark’s along with his. At first Mark was still self-conscious but when Jaebum leaned in and whispered in his ears to stop thinking so much that made it a little better. Soon Mark was lost in the thrumming of the music, Jaebum close behind him as they grinded their bodies against each other. Mark wasn’t stupid, he knew what Jaebum wanted and while Mark would usually say no to situations like this Jaebum was right, he was a good distraction. So when Jaebum’s lips landed on Mark’s he happily returned the kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around Jaebum’s neck.

“Do you wanna take this somewhere more private, I know you’re pretty shy.” Jaebum said breaking their kiss.

Nodding, Mark allowed Jaebum to grip his hand and take him out the living room and up the stairs. Mark was pretty sure they weren’t allowed here but hey what did he care? When they got to a locked bedroom door, Mark was surprised that Jaebum had a key.

“This is your party?” Mark asked allowed, not really searching for an answer, his thoughts not really able to stay in his head at this point.

“It is,” Jaebum said before shutting his door and locking it again. Jaebum’s room was surprisingly clean, all of his sport trophies neatly lined up by height on the far side of the wall by Jaebum’s bed.

It didn’t take long for Jaebum to walk back to Mark and connect his lips to his. Jaebum was slightly taller than Mark but Mark liked that. Jackson always teased Mark about how tall the boy was.

Soon Jaebum and Mark made it to the football players bed, both running their hands over each other but Mark gasped when Jaebum slide his hand down to the front of Mark’s pants.

“Is this okay?” He asked, looking at Mark’s face. While Mark was not naive and was expecting this he still felt a bit worried. He was drunk, in a stranger’s home and he was still a on all accounts. Mark hadn’t even known he was gay until Jackson and now here he was making out with a boy.

            “I…,”

            Say no, Mark could hear one part of his brain telling him, but tonight he wanted to forget. Forget about how much his chest hurt, forget about how much he loved Jackson. Mark didn’t want to tell like Mark anymore. So nodding his head Mark surged forward, kissing Jaebum hungrily. Everything else was a blur after that. The sound of zippers being undone. The sound of Jaebum’s belt hitting the floor, fell on deaf ears. The way Jaebum had gripped Mark’s hips in a near bruising grip. The way it felt to have another person’s weight pressed so close to his own bare skin. Jaebum had whispered many things in Mark’s ears that night. Calling him pet names, saying how tight he was and that he was perfect but none of that mattered because Jaebum wasn’t Jackson. So yea he tossed his ity away for a piece of mind but in the end it didn’t matter, Jaebum treated Mark well and no one got hurt from doing this right? That was the last thing Mark thought before he feel asleep, his dreams filled with heartache and a numbing that seemed to grow deeper in Marks body.