Hours past and at eight pm Heechul snapped.

“Why did you lie about seeing Changmin?” he asked not looking at me. The small victory I had won by convincing him to come out of the studio did not include him looking at me it seemed.

“I knew you would be angry if I told you I was going to see him.” I answered as I cleared the table from dinner and started to carry the dirty dishes to the sink to be washed.

“If you want to be with him instead of me you don’t have to cheat.” Heechul said and I almost dropped the dishes on the floor. How could he possibly think something like that?

“He just wanted to talk to me about something. So you just need to stop looking for trouble where there ing isn’t any!” I said throwing the dish cloth on the counter.

“If you hadn’t lied I wouldn’t be looking for trouble. When it’s my girlfriend who is the one sneaking around and seeing my brother. Who she knows I hate more than anything!” He yelled as he threw something against the wall I don’t know what it was but I heard it shatter and I felt my self wince at the sound.

“Why are you being so insecure about our relationship all of a sudden?” I asked turning around from the sink to the living room where Heechul was. I could feel my anger start to rise at his accusation.

“I’m not being insecure do I have a reason to be?” He asked as he folded his arms across his chest. His eyes angry as they accused me of the unspeakable.

“You know you always do this to me Heechul! Anything that has anything to do with me and Changmin you assume I’m either cheating on you or wanting to break up with you and get back with him! You know I love you Heechul, But maybe if you weren’t so ing insecure I would have said yes to marrying you!”

Dear God what have I done? I feel my anger drain as Heechul is struck by my words. He has never looked so hurt and vulnerable before. I knew I had really ed up now but what could I do? Heechul had tried so hard to work up the courage to propose to me but I couldn’t even give him an answer. I knew practically saying ‘no’ had hurt him he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and I couldn’t even tell him how I felt. I want to marry him but I always felt like he could do so much better than me.

“Fine you want me gone? Than I’m gone!” He said as he grabbed his black wool coat and walked out the door. He was gone before I could ask him not to go.