When she told me that she wants to break up with me I felt like my world crashed to billions of pieces, how many times did this happen? A lot. Our relationship was full of twist and turns, break up and make up and this time she wants her time again.

If I am to count how many times I punched myself, the wall or any hard object around me just to forget the pain I experience constantly, it exceeds the number of my fingers both in my hand and in my feet. I love her so much, she was my first in everything. First love, first kiss and first relationship. I was hoping she’s my first and my last but I guess that ‘forever’ really never exists.

It was a Sunday and I need to wake up early for a Sunday mass, I heard my dad’s voice calling my name telling me to get out of my bed and take a bath for we’re already late. I lazily dragged myself to the bathroom and took a quick bath before changing into a simple shirt and jeans. My head is still aching from the lack of sleep and hours of crying but I need to show a lively façade.

I stared outside our car’s window, still reminiscing my happy memories with my now ex-girlfriend and before another tear fall from my eyes, I immediately looked up.

We took the seat second in line from the front to get a clear view of the celebration. Since we arrived few minutes before its start, my mind drifted around the place. The people contemplating, talking with their loved ones and some patiently waiting for the celebration to start… That’s when I caught a glimpse of her.

Her hair was coal black, with silky white skin and beautiful eyes. She was sitting infront of the piano playing some keys to practice. Her head sways to every beat of the music, enjoying every tone she makes with it.

For a moment there, I saw myself staring at her, slightly captivated by the beauty of both the tone and its pianist. Somehow I temporarily forgot the pain and enjoyed the wonderful moment in front.

When the celebration ended and I’m back to the reality that I’m in pain, the memories started to flashback. Oh how I hate what’s happening to me now, I want to forget, I want to move on.

Another week passed and it’s a Sunday again. For me and my ex-girlfriend, I’m still waiting for her to come back to me, we still talk but she always tell me to move on. Being a deeply in love person that I am, I stayed. Hoping everything will come back the way it used to be.

We sat back again to the place where we used to sit last week. Unconsciously, my eyes searched for that same girl. Why? I don’t know, my eyes moved by its own and saw her again. Every time I see her I could temporarily be happy and I’m thankful for it.

A month passed, I and my ex-girlfriend got back together, if you’re asking me if I’m happy… Slightly yes, mostly no. Why? Well first, I still love her but my heart seemed to be numb after what happened and she never treated me back the way she treated me before. And lastly, because I think this girl pianist already caught me, I just don’t want to admit it to myself yet.

I don’t know what got into me that even I don’t know her name, I tried my every best to search for her in Social networking sites. Searching for every keyword that might link to her but unfortunately it always ends up in a dead end.

It took me two months. Two months until I found the name of her group, atleast I have a lead. I made a mental note to myself to try searching for her group later when I get home and with just a few clicks and types… finally, I found her.

Her name is Krystal Jung, a first year Hotel and restaurant management student in the same school I’m attending to. How lucky eh? Now I know I can meet her by chance when I take a walk around the campus.

Now my problem is, should I add her as friend? She doesn’t know me, I might look like a creep if she really can notice me looking at her before the start of the celebration. But nothing will happen I just sit here and be a scaredy cat… I gathered up all the courage I have and clicked the add friend button, whew. My face is beet red and my heart is beating to the fastest rate that it could beat, if she accept me or not, at least I tried.

The next day, I checked my account, hoping I’ll see a notification that we’re already ‘friends’ but unfortunately, there’s none. Another day passed but still no good news until next week. I actually wasn’t hoping for anything anymore, I lazily opened my account and when I checked that single notification on the right I jumped my heart out of joy.

“Krystal Jung responded to your friend request”

“Seriously???” a wide smile was drawn to my face and I felt like it was the happiest moment in my day. I searched further for her information and saw her cover songs. I played one and that’s it, I already have a ultimate crush on her.

Just like what the saying says, when you’re so happy expect for extreme sadness afterwards. That came out true when the following 2 days, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why again? She just wanted to. I don’t know if fate helps me because if I didn’t meet Krystal, I might be a crying llama again. Though I cried, but it’s not as painful as it was 3 months ago. It’s bearable thankfully.

For the next month, I found myself happy. Seeing Krystal sometimes in school makes my day, week and month. It helped me move on, just by loving her from afar. I always froze to my feet when she walks past me, I think of her closest to perfection. She’s beautiful, sporty and multi – talented, who wouldn’t fall for her? She has this icy aura around her but it just adds up to the many reasons why she’s perfect.

When I thought everything’s turning out fine, worse comes to worst when I need to transfer school. It pained me, thinking that I’ll leave my dream school along with the chance of talking to her personally. I cried, more than how I cried when my ex broke up with me. My heart grew numb, bitter at everything related to fate and love.

3 months passed after I transferred school and we seldom go to the same church anymore, I thought I already forgot everything about Krystal. I moved on with my new environment, meeting new friends and people, I completely forgot everything about my ex and treated it as a history. Until I saw that beautiful face again.

After months of absence, we went back to our former church. We were looking for a seat for there were more church goers today than before when I felt someone bumped me from the back. I took a step forward not turning back to that ‘someone’ and continued roaming my eyes around the area.

“Sorry”

I felt like a pail of freezing cold water was thrown to me when I heard that familiar voice I always hear from soundcloud. I turned my head to that direction and I saw her smiling while I stood there frozen.

“Come on Amber, move” those were the thoughts running to my mind in that sudden situation. She… she just… oh lord.

She made her way to her seat leaving me still standing. If it weren’t for my mom, I would be still standing there like an idiot. I smiled, that happiness she gave to me 9 months before came back, my ultimate crush still has her place within me, it never fade, it never changed.