In which Joonmyun realises he likes men and cries to Chanyeol about it

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Joonmyun didn't mean to come across what he saw, all he wanted was to speak to Chanyeol to see if he was still up for Joonmyun helping him revise for his upcoming exam after school. What he had done was walk in on a extremely private moment whereby he saw his friend kissing this Baekhyun guy from their maths class. 

Joonmyun never knew that Chanyeol was seeing Baekhyun- heck, he didn't even know Chanyeol liked men to begin with!- however Joonmyun didn't recoil in horror nor did he shout out in surprise and give himself away. Instead, he quietly backed out of the room and shut the door behind him to give his friend the privacy he needed. He wasn't disgusted over the fact that his friend was seen kissing another guy, in fact it came as a sort of relief to Joonmyun. For sometime now he had been unsure of himself; he wasn't sure if it was just a part of growing up or if it was something different. On the internet he looked for advice and possible explanations but there was no explanation as to why Joonmyun was feeling like this- especially around his friend Minseok- until he realised, much to his horror in the beginning, that he liked men and more specifically liked Minseok! 

Originally Joonmyun had thought that he was the only one out of his group of friends who was gay. Up until seeing Chanyeol kiss Baekhyun like that, he thought he was the only one and felt overwhelemed in trying to decide whether he should tell his friends and family or keep it a secret. He knew that being gay was one thing, but being gay in a country where it wasn't really that common for anybody to be openly gay was another. If he told anybody, he worried about how they would react; would they be disgusted? What if he told his parents and they disowned him? 

It was all so overwhelming for Joonmyun in the beginning that he made a secret pact with himself of never telling anybody. He would just keep it a secret, grow up and marry a woman like his family would want him to. Seeing how he wasn't exactly the only one who liked men now, Joonmyun's opinion had changed. Maybe it wasn't so bad being a gay guy, it was just gathering up the courage to finally admit it to the world. 

"Right, my exam is in less than a week and I'm still slightly worried that I don't know enough" Chanyeol said, taking a seat across from his friend in the library where they had agreed to meet previously. 

If it wasn't for Joonmyun, Chanyeol was sure he would have failed the year miserably before it had even oficially ended. He wasn't stupid, but he wasn't smart and struggled really badly in most of his lessons. If it wasn't for Joonmyun stepping in and offering him extra help, he was sure that when the end of the year came, he was going to be full of disappointment when he saw that he had failed in the majority of his exams. 

"I have no idea what we should start on, so I'll just leave it to you" he added but frowned when Joonmyun just remained in his seat staring at him blankly 
"Joonmyun?" he asked, waving a hand in front of the latter's eyes to try and snap him out of his trance "Joonmyun!" 

Understandably, Chanyeol was very shocked when his friend suddenly began to cry. Leaping from his seat, Chanyeol ran to sit next to him and not being the best at comforting people when they needed it, the most he could do was just pat him on the back. 

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asked 
"I-I... I like men" Joonmyun confessed before he began crying again. 

Chanyeol sat there stunned for a moment at his friends sudden confession. He didn't dwell on it for too long though and went straight back to reassuring Joonmyun that everything was fine 
"B-but it's... it's not! I-I only though I was th-the only one a-and then I saw you kissing that Baek guy-" 

"Wait, you what?" Chanyeol interrupted 
"I-I didn't m-mean to see it! I-I was looking for you!" Joonmyun wailed and Chanyeol mentally smacked himself. It wasn't about him at this moment it was about his friend and trying to calm him down before he drew too much attention from anybody else who were maybe in the library as well. 

"Come on Joonmyun, it's okay!" he tried 
"N-no it's not! B-because I'm scared... scared o-of what people will say!" 

Chanyeol had never seen his friend in this state before. Yes, Chanyeol had seen him close to crying before, but that was due to stress because he either had too much homework or panicked nearer the time of an important exam. He never cried however, so seeing him like this was a real shock to Chanyeol. What bothered him the most was how Joonmyun was this distraught because of he thought people would react to him liking guys. Chanyeol wanted to wipe this worry from Joonmyun straight away. 

"Look, Joonmyun, please don't get too bothered about this" he began as Joonmyun sniffed loudly and rubbed away at his eyes harshly 
"I-I'm scared Chanyeol!" he exclaimed 
"Well you shouldn't be! I'll be here for you and if nobody else can accept you as you are, you can always come live with me" 

Chanyeol had the tendency to say things which never failed to surprise Joonmyun when the words came out of his mouth. This was no exception and he so badly wanted to hug the boy for what he had just said to him, but being all teary eyed and snotty he decided against it at that moment in time. 

"You'd do that for me?" he asked 
"Of course! The amount of times you've helped save my ! Plus my parents already know about me, so what'sthe harm in having one more gay guy live with us anyway?" 

Snotty and teary or not, that was when Joonmyun tightly wrapped his arms around his friend and finally managed to cheer up. It was the day that brought them two closer and when Joonmyun thought back on it, it was one of those moments he had never beenso greatful to anybody up until that point. 

(About two weeks later Joonmyun mustered up the courage to tell their other friend Minseok. His brother will find out after stumbling across Joonmyun's internet history and he will have another crying session as he finally tells his brother. Joonmyun is excited when he eventually finds out that Minseok is gay- like seriously, is everybody he's friends with gay?- however will not be happy when Minseok brings Sehun into the picture. Now that Joonmyun looks back on it and remembers how easily his parents had excepted him when he finally told them the truth, he realises just how much of a baby he had been that afternoon in the library)

Hi everybody!! Hi Doctor Nick!

So I decied to do this chapter because I touched on it very briefly in the original fic and after doing Jongdae's chapter of his parents accepting him so easily, I guess this chapter is the other side where Joonmyun is absolutely terrified to tell anybody. It worked out for him in the end though!

Until the next chapter!!