“Ya, Kim Jongin” I held my anger, and turned out my voice was low but cold. “I thought you keep your promise. Do you even realize this? Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for nine hours!”

Since being angry was like taking a marathon, I stopped and took a breath, before I finally spoke again. “You know what, screw it. I’m going home, okay? Don’t bother come and find me. More importantly, don’t make promises you can’t keep. I know you have reasons, but your phone has been on for the whole day. I mean, you have balls for asking me out but not for an apology?”

“Just... answer” I let out a sigh. “I just want to know”

After giving him a voice message, suddenly a call came in. It was Baekhee.

“Yes?”

“Jane!!” it was actually his twin brother. “Are you on your way home now?”

“What?” I was surprised, to be honest.

“Okay, Jane. I don’t care where you are, but” Baekhyun continued. “Go home. Now. I’m telling you”

“Why are you suddenly like this?”

“Come on! You like seaweed soup, right? Mom’s cooking one now!” he chirped happily. “Everyone should be at home”

Then, I suddenly heard some screams from Baekhyun, and the phone returned to its owner. “Jane? Sorry for that” Baekhee said. “There’s someone moving into the house, so you should be there”

I’m not in the mood to go home. As I sunk into the silence, I realized, no one has ever waited at me in home. Someone finally asked me to go home, when I usually go home whenever I’m alone.

“Jane? Are you alright?” Baekhee asked.

“I’m fine” I answered.

“You’ll go home, right?”

“Okay”

Silence and feelings starts to fill in my head, trying to get this strange thing that happened to me. Is this how family feels like? Having someone to wait for you at home?

“Thanks, guys” I mumbled to myself and packed my bags as I walked out.

*

“Be safe on your way home”

I smiled, remembering those words that used to be said by someone. His existence, somehow is still a question to me. My smile faded as I remembered what happened this morning. Could this day get any worse?

“Seems like you had a bad day”

I was about to hyperventilate when I know who it was. It was Junmyeon-oppa, accompanying me while I’m on my way back home. “Oppa” I smiled, but that smile faded after I remembered what happened. “You’re... um....”

“Why?” Junmyeon asked. “You don’t look happy to see me”

I kept looking at him, but he was.... really here. He was real, and here, walking with me. Is this person in front of me real?

“I do?” I turned to him and answered. “Yeah, the day screwed me up”

“Maybe you’re hungry” he smiled. “Come on, baby girl. You haven’t eat anything, right?”

Laughter came out of me in all of sudden, but I laughed at how he always read my mind. Junmyeon’s lips turned to a frown, “Lets eat, okay? What do you want?” he asked.

“I’ll just eat at home” I answered. “They’re waiting at home”

“Okay, Jane. Oppa will just follow then” Junmyeon ran a hand to his hair, and flashed another smile. “I can join, right? And, the people who waited at home... they’re your family, right?”

“Sort of” I nodded. I feel like they’re a family who’s open to have someone else in the house.

“Tell me more” he pleaded. “How many of them? What do you usually do with them? How are they doing in the house?”

I was hesitated, but since he was so happy, its not a secret or something I should be ashamed of. “There’s this five people, living with me under a roof” I told him. “They were always noisy, all the time. I’m not used to it, so I always somehow... hide”

My nerves calmed down, thanks to him. Suddenly, everything becomes beautiful. The stars twinkled perfectly above the sky, and the wind blows softly, with the breeze touching my cheeks.

“That’s what families do, Jane” he ruffled my hair. “They make a lot of noises, but they’ll always got your back”

 “Jane!”

It wasn’t his voice. I turned around and found Baekhee who’s in the front gate. She looked confused at me who’s crying. While Junmyeon, he’s still there, smiling and excited to see her.

“Can I go and join them?” he asked.

“Sure” I whispered. “Um, just... don’t get too loud, Oppa”

Baekhee came down and escorted me inside. “We were waiting for you” she told me. “Mom was making seaweed soup, and someone just moved in today!”

She was right. Everyone went home early today, busy on helping this new person who just moved in. I didn’t even go to my room and went straight to the kitchen.

“Jane!” Mr. Byun greeted. “Come on! Sit down and have dinner, okay?”

I could only smiled and pulled the chair, while the scent of the seaweed soup struck my nose. And suddenly, three boys went down from upstairs.

“Oh, Jane! You’re home!” Baekhyun greeted and reached out his hand to Chanyeol, which was replied by a twenty-thousand won from Chanyeol. “You made me lose the bet” he frowned. “We were making a bet about when will you go home, but I was guessing it wrong. And Byun Baekhyun, its not over!”

“I’ll win again along with the Blues” Baekhyun smirked as he sat down next to his father. “What do you think, Dad? Chelsea will win, right?”

“Nah, I think MU will win” Mr Byun answered shortly, and that made Chanyeol beamed.

“Yeah, yeah, that ain’t gonna work” Chanyeol agreed. “Right, Jongin? You’re betting from MU, right?”

“Sorry, dude. I’m a Chelsea fan forever!”

I heard it right. The third guy was Jongin, carefully stepping down the stairs and just laughed to what Chanyeol just said. Yeah, that Kim Jongin who was lost for the whole day, breaking his own promise.

*

“Surprised?” Baekhee asked.

More like disappointed, actually.

“Yep” I replied, not interested on telling about what happened today. But Jongin had lost his words when he saw me. Well, he didn’t need one, since I know what was going on. He was just surprised, but now that he knew, he continued on his dinner while chatting with Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

"This is Jongin, our little brother" Chanyeol introduced him, ruffling his hair playfully. "He's on his second year in our campus, and he's very famous"

"She already knew who he is, dude" Baekhyun elbowed him. "They're working together for the new radio program"

"Whoa, really?" Chanyeol was surprised. "You never told us about this"

"Maybe she's just shy" Baekhee backed me up, and she turned to Jongin. "And, you guys never even asked. Well, Jongin, as a DJ? That's new! Why don't you show us?"

"Yeah, DJ Jongin!" Chanyeol exclaimed.

"Hyung, seriously..." Jongin looked down.

"Come on, Jongin, don't be shy!" Mr. Byun cheered him up. "We ran out of food now, so just do the DJ thing!"

"Kim Jongin! Kim Jongin!" Baekhyun started to cheer his name. Everyone started to cheer, waiting for him to speak. While the younger one's just being shy, ruffling his own hair and smiled like an idiot.

"Okay, okay" he finally gave up. "I'll start. Hyungs, please don't interrupt me! Okay"

"Eyyy, just start, Jongin!" Baekhyun poked his arm. Jongin nodded and cleared his throat, before he make a microphone with his fist and start speaking.

"This is 83.9 FM, Heart Radio's Late Night Stroll" he started to speak. "I'm Kim Jongin, your DJ for tonight. Um, everyone, its cold outside, but our guests tonight is heartwarming, so please welcome, the busking duo Chanyeol-hyung and Baekhyun-hyung!"

"Waaah, its really good!" everyone started to applaused. Baekhyun and Chanyeol started to hug Jongin from both sides, feeling proud that their names was mentionned. "That was good!" Mrs. Byun commented. "What do you think, Jane? Is he doing good?"

"Yeah, Jane" Baekhyun turned his head to me and realized my role for this. "As a sunbae, what do you think about our new DJ?"

I looked to him, thinking back how selfish I was. Jongin is no longer that promise-breaker under this roof, he’s a new boy, trying to adapt to this new circumstance, and especially, me. Everyone’s expecting me, a direct evaluation from the senior.

“Not bad” I smiled a bit, commenting his performance. Another applause was heard, congratulating on Jongin’s DJ side.

“Lets give a toast!” Mr. Byun announced, with his wife on his side bringing him a bottle of beer. “For Jane and Jongin, we pray for your success on your first broadcast!”

Glass of beers bumped each other, making that ‘clink’ sound with a little burst of the strong beer. Everyone took a quick one-shot, but my body was paused. This yellowish drink with that strong smell and its side effect that made me think twice.

“Come on, Jane!” Chanyeol realized it. “Just drink! One-shot!”

“Yeah! Don’t you dare back off” Baekhyun added. “Its Byun’s tradition. One lucky shot of our signature beer before pushing your luck”

“One-shot! One-shot! One-shot!”

Yeah, what could go worse?

*

It was raining at night when I walked back home.

Out of my compulsive disorder habits, I was fine as ever. Absorbing this rain, inhaling the scent of petrichor as I slowly stepped into my house. A smile was formed at my lips unconsciously, feeling this good sensation. It was like the rain injected some adrenaline into me, because I ran around in happiness and checked myself in the mirror.

I couldn’t recall about that day, although the feels of having this day in the past keeps knocking in. But I know what I was doing. White towel, drying my hair, giggling and smiling about something.

“So this is what lies behind your back?”

I froze. My ears had never gone wrong. Even my nose, knowing this scent of blood that suddenly struck into my nose. The voice, was low and real, and I knew who it was. I knew it too well for who was speaking.

“You knew too well of how I loved you”

“Look, we should stop. We should’ve stop from a long time ago”

“Why were you lying? Why did you do this?”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone. I was doing this for everyone, and this will just hurt you”

“! You don’t even know what you’re doing!”

I started to lock the door and cover my ears. But the fight was just grew worse, and louder. Glass starts to break and screams started to scratch my hearing at its loudest. My hands couldn’t just cover those voices.

“Leave”

“I can’t! I have to protect–”

“Leave, or I’ll just gonna kill two birds with one stone”

I gasped and started to losing my breath, into a hole full of fear and this fight that never ends in my head. I was scared to hell, hoping that it’d stop, but their voices just got louder. Tears started to fall as I tried to break everything and screamed, trying to beat those voices until I could only hear myself

“Please, stop!”

Breathing went hard in all of sudden. The dark suddenly adapted to something else. My room, with the voices coming from outside. It wasn’t them.

I went outside, to the balcony, greeting the fresh air and grabbed my inhaler. My asthma got back, as I tried to calm myself down by sitting on the chair at the balcony. Laying back, reminding myself.

Its a dream, Jane. Its just a dream.

Its just a dream. There’s no way it could happen. There’s no way of the past to come back. There’s no way for them to had it once again, where I could see them with my senses. No, there’s no way –

“Jane”

I turned around to see who it was. Surprising, this balcony was actually shared with the other room next to me.

“I mean, Sunbae” he shook his head. “Are you... okay?”

My breath slowed down as he looked to me. A glint of concern was found in his eyes, and he’ll turn selfless again in any second.

“I’m fine, Jongin” I took off my inhaler. “I’m just–”

“Relapse?”

“You could say that”

I looked back to the night sky that pictured perfectly from the balcony. I should be thankful, if he wasn’t here, the voices could have just come back to my ears. Reality was here once again, and Jongin was the proof that brought me back to what’s real.

But I forgot that he broke my mood perfectly today.

“Sunbae, you have ast–”

I stood up and left him, as he was flinched and followed me. But good thing he didn’t grab my hand, and made me shut the door in front of his eyes.

“Sunbae!” he banged the door. “Sunbae? Are you alright?”

“God, you shouldn’t do that” I groaned.

“Wait, what?”

“Your promise...”

“Open the door. I’ll explain”

“Just sleep, Jongin”

“Are you sure you don’t want to hear this?” he asked, knowing that I’ve been longing to know why. I froze at where I was standing. The air was cold in all of sudden, so I grabbed my blanket and sat down by the floor.

“Sunbae?” he called me, his voice was clear even though the door blocked him.

“Why you didn’t come today, Jongin?” I asked. “I waited for you all day. Do you even check your phone?”

There was this silence, before I heard him sighing and his body collided with the door, slided down and he sat down, doing the same thing I did. If only the door wasn’t here, our backs could’ve just bumped to each other. But it was the closest he could get. He didn’t break in, and sat there instead.

“I was...” he started, loss for words for thinking carefully on what he should say. “There was this friend of mine who got sick today, so I should replace him. Well, he was supposed to perform as a back dancer at a music show, but he couldn’t make it. And... I didn’t know that the recording would take hours, I couldn’t even attend classes and some dance lessons to teach to my students”

Somehow, the idea of blaming him was wrong. There were always reasons, and sudden changes that happened to our perfect plan. It wasn’t Jongin’s fault after all, nor his friend who was sick today.

“And I had to move in today” he continued. “It was right after the recording was finished. I had to move my luggages into this house, and I had promised too on a specific time. And, everyone was in the house. The hyungs, Baekhee noona, Mr. and Mrs. Byun... they were there. I couldn’t leave them. I really wanted to see you, though”

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry”

We both stopped. Did we just said it together?

“I’m sorry” Jongin repeated, took the second chance on the first place. “I won’t do it again next time”

“Okay. Actually, well, I’m the one...” I started to spoke, but my reply was just lost in the air like that. “Who should be sorry”

This time, he waited. I cleared my throat and spoke again, “I’m sorry for blaming you too much, and for thinking all these bad thoughts about you...”

I was lost in words. Feeling guilty of everything in all of sudden. I shouldn’t give some space anymore, right?

“Anyway, whatever the bad things I did to you” I ended it. “I’m sorry”

“Its fine, Sunbae” he said.

Then, the awkwardness started to fill the air once again. I was curious somehow, about his dancing though. Is that really his hobby? For how long? Its rare, to see those guys who dance. But the timing was somehow wrong.

“So, you’re dancing?”

“Are you sleeping?”

I realized that our words came out at the same time. Funny how our mind worked at the same line. But this time, I took the turn to talk first. I mean, I should, right? I’m his senior after all, and he’ll let me do that.

“Well, I’m not” I answered. “So... dancing?”

He chuckled. “They say it flows in my blood”

“I never knew about that” I said. “I saw one this morning”

“You watched my dance video?”

“No wonder you were chased by girls”

“Sunbae, I’m not that famous” he said, embarrassed. “So, what do you think? My dancing?”

He didn’t really have to ask that, but never mind. I scoffed and continued, “It was great” I said. “They were true. No doubts”

“Really?”

“Yeah” I approved. “You could’ve showcased it in our broadcast”

“But its embarrassing!”

Hearing his voice suddenly got high-pitched in embarrassment, I started to laugh. That guy who danced and took the girls’s hearts really well was a complete goofy, shy boy.

“But you liked it, right?”

Of course, we already know the answer.

I don’t know how long we were talking that night, listening to his stories about his dancing. As we talked, I found out that he wasn’t the guy I that I thought before. Maybe, Jongin wasn’t that cold, unpredictable, impulsive guy that annoyed me. He was something surprising, and for all night, the nightmare just went away with our convos. Maybe this is a start, but we don’t want to know when it’ll ends.

*

April 30th

Dear Mom,

Years ago, family was a bond that was broken. An endless summer in mind that later turned out to a storm. A promise that was supposed to had no limits, until a free-fall that proved that every bond, human bonds, will have their time to break.

I never thought of having a family once again. Families aren’t always consist of parents and their children, but a group of people that stayed together. Under the same roof, different people blend in into one family that lasts. They took a good care of me, Mother. They cared so much that I’m feeling guilty for building up walls around myself.

When one story was closed, another one begins.

When you’re too focused of what comes before your eyes, sometimes, you don’t realize what was missing. A piece of puzzle, a bond that was once there. This strange string that circling on my finger and brought me to a new encounter.

 I saw him, Mother.

A deja vu started when he came. I saw him before we met, seeing him in my dreams. How can a stranger lived in our dreams? He was there, being young and loved. His eyes were looking at me, as I saw a glint of concern that bring strange waves into my skin. Selfless and befriending me, who was cold and hiding behind the walls. He was a piece of puzzle that had lost from the truth.

What was his purpose to be here?

Nightmares just keeps coming, but he was there. Behind my back and catching me when I fall. Encountering these walls that I built around myself, lurking into the secrets that were never meant to be told. He was a switch, of what I had figured out. The truth that hurt me once again, after what is real and what is fantasy are just seemed blurry before my eyes. He was meant to open something, and I cannot see any reason.

But he was a friend, after all. Of all those stories that had been this short and those ice that just disappeared, we need each other. Hand in hand will be given, as we helped each other. We don’t know where we are going. But as long as he’s here, maybe, just maybe, I could change my mind of what had written all along my traces.

*

The music was playing, as the Im Chunhee, the DJ from the previous show, departed from the studio and gave us some words to kill the nerves. The crew started to prepare everything, and I handed out scripts to them. Lastly, I went to Jongin and gave him the script.

“Nervous?” I started to talk, although I didn’t expect that coming from my mouth. He nodded, rubbing the back of his head for the umpteenth time.

“Very” he answered.

“Well, you should” I replied, reading the script while looking into the studio. Jongin was startled and his eyes widened. “Why? Nerves are dangerous. What if I suddenly choke or stammering?”

“I used to be like that” his face suddenly loosened. “But you have to know that you’re not alone”

Jongin realized and he smiled. “Thanks, Sunbae”

The last song was finished and we entered the room and put on our headphones. I took a glance at the red light above the window that connected both of us to the room outside, turning on and showed the words ON AIR.

“This is 83.9 FM Heart Radio’s Late Night Stroll” I spoke up. “Good evening, everyone. I’m Jane Lee”

“And I’m Kim Jongin” Jongin continued. “And this is Late Night Stroll, Heart’s Radio beloved midnight program. We’ll be on for four hours from eight to twelve, bringing you surprises as the new DJs”

“So please stay tune, everyone” I said. “Because, a very special guest, EXID, is coming here at Late Night Stroll! And don’t miss the Fiction of The Day and your requested songs to be played here”

“Also, you can send messages for EXID who will come today” he spoke up. “So, mention to our twitter @LateNightStroll and put on the hashtag #EXIDonLateNightStroll, then put on some questions for EXID members! There’ll be a signed album for ten lucky people at the end of the show”

“And now, we’ll be listening to the first song for tonight” I announced. “Its a western song, and a personal selection from our DJ Kim Jongin. Okay, Jongin, what’s actually your personal selection?”

“Well, its been everybody’s jam for months” Jongin smiled in excitement. “And I’ve been jamming to this song too, so I hope the listeners would love this song. Ladies and gentlemen, the first song... Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars”

Four hours was a lot of effort to put between Jongin and me. The first segment just started and I couldn’t hold my laugh as I looked to Jongin who’s jamming to almost every song. On one song, one of my selection if I’m not mistaken, the radio was playing Drake’s Hold On We’re Going Home, when he suddenly stood up. (click for the song)

“Sunbae!” he whispered. “I remembered this! Its from one of my dance class!”

“What?”

“You said we have to show our talent since its our first broadcast” he somehow got excited. “And you’re putting this in the playlist, so its kinda gave me an idea”

Then, out of nowhere, he started to dance. Since the studio was quite wide – at least for one person to dance – Jongin used this chance to show his talents. Suddenly, the window just full of people, watching this sudden magnet dancing around. It was an improptu, so all I can do was giving him praises.

“Whoaaa, have you seen that performance?” I improvised. “For those who are listening, our DJ, Kim Jongin, just danced to this song! You can watch it online by subscribing to our Heart Radio channel on YouTube, and lucky for you who’s streaming right now!”

He said he was nervous, but he made it with flying colors for tonight. Because of that improptu dance, the audience had somehow raised afterwards. Even when EXID arrived as guests, they also give praises to him as well.

“When we arrived at the radio station, it was really crowded” Hani, one of the EXID members told us during the interview. “But we saw you were dancing to the songs. We were like, ‘Whoaaa, daebak!’ and surprised. Kim Jongin-ssi is a really good dancer”

“Yeah, he dances like an idol” LE agreed, along with the other members.

Meanwhile, Jongin just laughed and nodded, being his shy self. “Thank you so much, hehe” he said, smiling like an idiot.

In the end, the first broadcast was successful. Thanks to this guy over here.

*

“Why are you two feeding each other?”

I couldn’t help but holding my laugh and ask them out of my curiosity. Well, how can I be curious, when I have Chanyeol and Baekhyun feeding each other in all of sudden?

“Your hoobae sure knows how to put on a dare” Chanyeol answered. “Seriously, Baek, putting on that dance challenge was a wrong move. And the rumors...”

“We’re so gonna kill you after today, Kim Jongin” Baekhyun turned to him and gave him a glare, while the younger one just laughed.

“Well, they said that they’d go gay for a day if I danced on my first broadcast” Jongin smiled proudly, then he looked to his hyungs. “Hyungs, come on. More chemistry!”

“Okay, okay” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Come on, Chanyeol, open up that giant mouth”

Baekhyun took a spoonful of cereal and fed Chanyeol, which made Jongin and I laughed. They looked so cute doing things like this together. Maybe people could’ve really mistaken them if they left Jongin and me.

“Wait” Baekhyun pointed out a thumb and wiped a milk-stain on Chanyeol’s lips. “You got some milk over here”

“Thanks!” Chanyeol smiled widely before he turned to Jongin. “There. Satisfied?”

“You two still looked like best friends” Jongin answered.

“Yah, its not you” Chanyeol denied his answer. “Jane, what do you think? Its ‘gay’ enough, right?”

“Its just...” I’m too shy to say this, since I couldn’t hold my laugh. “You guys are cute”

“See? Even she said its cute” Baekhyun said. “So that means, its gay enough”

“Oh, come on, that’s just a start, guys” Jongin smiled devilishly.

Then, Baekhee suddenly joined, running down the stairs and laughing looking at Chanyeol and Baekhyun. “Gosh, I can’t miss this. You two couple up for a day? We should take it outside!” she chuckled.

So here we go. On a bright Saturday morning in the mid-spring, the five of us walked out to the mall. We went together with Mr Byun’s old car, with Jongin driving on the driver’s seat and I’m sitting next to him, since I don’t like bumping with the others.

“Yah, yah, yah” Chanyeol asked, bumping into Baekhyun. “Turn on the radio”

The radio , and their voices started to fill up again, commenting the songs.

“Yaaah, its EXID” Baekhyun chirped.

“Ah yeah, Ah yeah...” Chanyeol sang along with the song, then Baekhyun followed “Ah yeah, Ah yeah, Ah yeah!”

“This is really your anniversary” Baekhee laughed. “You guys even sang to the same song!”

“We’re not gay!” both Baekhyun and Chanyeol shouted.

Today’s agenda was Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s  couple day. I mean, look at these two. Wearing couple shirts and couple hats, and listed things to do as a couple for a day. They’re really funny and cute when it comes to this.

 “What movie should we watch?” I asked while looking at the movie list while the five of us lining up together. First thing to do for the couple is to watch a movie together, and sit separately from us.

“Avengers!”

“Birdman!”

“Yah, lets go with Avengers” Chanyeol protested. “I’ve been waiting for this since the last movie!”

“Seriously, another superhero movie?” Baekhyun sighed. “The last one’s, Fast and Furious was a superhero movie, right?”

“What? No!” Chanyeol shook his head. “Its action, dude, and I thought you liked Marvel Heroes too, so lets watch Avengers!”

“Birdman is actually funny” Baekhyun kept holding on his choice. “Come on, can we try something else?”

“Just take paper-rock-scissors” Baekhee watched them in boredom. “We’ll go with winner’s choice”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun turned their heads, agreeing Baekhee’s idea in silence. They started to go with paper-rock-scissors.

“Paper! Rock! Scissors!”

Chanyeol got paper and Baekhyun got rock, which means all of us had to go watch Avengers. Chanyeol clapped his hands happily, while Baekhyun had to gave up and finally smiled.

“Since I picked on the movie, you can pick on the snacks” Chanyeol calmed him down, putting his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulders. Baekhyun smiled and laid down on his shoulders, and looking at this moment, I couldn’t hold my laughter.

Meanwhile, Jongin took a picture of them, quietly. When he got caught by me, he told me to be quiet and I just smiled, looking that he’s the prankster for today. Baekhee couldn’t hold her laugh as well, and she’s arranging seats for us. Baekhyun and Chanyeol will be sitting together, while the three of us sat somewhere else behind.

“Look at them, Sunbae” Jongin whispered. A few lines in front of us, Chanyeol and Baekhyun sat together, and they were holding hands. Then, Chanyeol laid his head to Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“They really know how to play gay” I laughed.

“Good actors indeed” Baekhee added.

*

The couple gets more intimate on lunch time, and they have to spend a lunch together.

 “Its just getting more intimate” Jongin commented as he recorded it on his smartphone. I looked to the two o’clock direction, where Chanyeol helped Baekhyun cutting the steak, and people started to look at them, thinking that they’re gay.

“They’re just really good” Baekhee laughed, then she put on the phone and call Baekhyun. “Lets see if this phone call can drop their act”

I saw Baekhyun looked at the phone and picked it up. “Hello? Yah, you guys–”

“Hey, hey, don’t drop the act” Baekhee cut him off. “You’re gay, remember? And call me Mom”

“But–”

“Do it, Baek” she grinned and gave him some threats. “Or say goodbye to your eyeliners”

“Ne, Eomma” Baekhyun shrugged. “I’m sorry, I thought it was my friend”

“So far so good, brother” Baekhee put on her comment. “I think you guys are really cute couple”

“Yes, Eomma, Chanyeol’s my boyfriend” he replied, being a good actor right there. “Of course we look cute together. We’re now having a very cute lunch here”

“Nice one, guys” Jongin smiled as he put on himself on the phone with them. “Keep it up, okay? Just a few more tasks to go and you’re done”

“Right, Abeoji” Baekhyun’s smile got wider as he got into his improvisated acting. “Yeah, we’ll send you some pictures, so that you guys can enjoy it”

“Ah, can I talk to Chanyeol?” Jongin asked.

“Sure” he got off and offered the phone to Chanyeol. “Chanyeol, baby, my father wants to talk to you”

Chanyeol took the phone and he started to whisper, “You’re so dead, Kim Jongin” he threatened. “You’re so... dead”

“Just hold on a little bit” Jongin smiled. “You don’t even look like you’re suffering over there, Hyung”

“Chanyeol, baby” Baekhyun called Chanyeol in all of sudden. “You’ve got some sauce on your cheek”

Chanyeol was about to squeal when Baekhyun suddenly leaned closer and kissed his cheeks, removing the sauce from his cheeks.

“Yah, Byun Baek–”

“I thought you were a couple, Hyung” Jongin cut him off.

“Yes, Abeoji” Chanyeol put on a fake smile. “I know right? He’s really cute, he even wiped some sauce off my face.  Thank you, sir, for letting me go with him for today”

“Hey, why don’t we go for billiard after this?” Jongin offered. “Relax a bit and play some game”

“Sure, Abeoji. I’ll take care of your precious son” Chanyeol’s smile got wider, but then he whispered again to the phone. “I’ll take that as a yes” he accepted Jongin’s challenge.

“Good” Jongin nodded. “Can’t wait to see you guys playing the pool together”

“Seriously?” Chanyeol’s whisper got louder. “Together? But two against one, of course I’m gonna win, Jongin. Because I’m the pool master”

“And Jane?” he suddenly called me, and Jongin put the call on loudspeaker.

“Yes?”

“Save me”

“I don’t think you need to be saved, Chanyeol” I said, smiled a bit. Jongin and Baekhee laughed devilishly, while Chanyeols sighed in defeat.

“Have fun, Hyung” Jongin giggled.

*

 “Yah, I can’t do this”

Baekhyun shrugged as he tried to adjust the billiard stick, his head tilted in confusion. After lunch, we head to the billiard. It was actually for the boys, since Baekhee and I don’t really enjoy this.

“Come on, aren’t you guys a couple?” Jongin shot the balls with his billiard stick scored some points. “Chanyeol-hyung, teach him!”

“Is he always like that?” I asked Baekhee while watching the three of them playing billiard. In all of sudden, I wanted to know him better. He’s been so mischiveous towards his hyungs, and today was his victory.

“Its usual” Baekhee smiled. “They went to the same high school and played together. If I’m not mistaken, Jongin used to be bullied by them”

“What? That’s not a good prologue to start” I commented, surprised of this back story.

“Yep, I still can’t believe sometimes, remembering that they were bullies and victims” she giggled. “But Baekhyun and Chanyeol later started to treat him better”

“Why?”

“Because those two idiots can’t dance at the prom” Baekhee answered. “Jongin back then was a great dancer too in high school, and there was this musical that Baekhyun wanted to join as well. So, yeah, they started to learn from Jongin, and they forgot all the bully thing. They become friends instead”

I spent too little time to know about Baekhee. Usually, we only hang out together, not involving anyone else. If I used my chance earlier, maybe I’ll know them better. Baekhee went to an all-girls high school with me, so I only know Baekhyun from the stories that his twin sister told me.

“I wish I could know them sooner” I finally said.

“Its not too late, Jane” Baekhee cheered me up. “You know those years weren’t good for us, but now its the right time, right?”

I smiled in bitter, remembering the high school years. But Baekhee’s words quickly snapped me out of those dark, bitter memories.

“He looked so happy around you” she suddenly said.

“Who?” I knew who she was talking about, but I’d like to make sure.

“Duh, who else?” Baekhee looked at me. “Your hoobae”

I looked to Kim Jongin, who’s now pouting at me, made me forgot that he’s a guy in his blue and black checkered shirt, and a cap that put on backwards on his head. “I’m losing” he whispered, which made me smile for a moment.

“See? You even smiled for him” Baekhee caught that moment, made me turned away. If this is the time to do something, I’d really want to smack my head right now.

“I’m saying this because its the truth, Jane, so listen” she continued. “He’s never been like that around girls”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Jane, don’t be so stupid. Jongin is always approached by girls” Baekhee told me. “Not approaching one girl, but when it comes to you, he makes the first move”

This sounds funny, when I don’t even like him. Jongin is just a hoobae to me, and maybe he’s just treating me as a good friend. And making the first move?

“That was because I’m a passive person” I answered, thinking that it wasn’t feelings or such things. “He’s just doing his job as a hoobae. I’ve been told by my seniors that he found it hard to approach me, so he’s making the first move”

Its just, a different treatment. People are various in characters, some are just being active and talk first, and the rest,  they just like being approached first before they could talk. It was something usual, something that should happen, a cause and an effect. I’m sure that Jongin also did that to other people, if he met people like me.

“What if he’s doing more than that?” Baekhee asked.

I couldn’t imagine him having feelings for me. It was merely friendship, a bond built because of position and jobs. Love are for the young ones, the ones that believed in eternal promises. Jongin is younger than me, and I don’t think he’ll go for older women.

“You know that I’m no longer believing in love” I smiled.

*

“This one’s a piece of cake”

The date is still on while Chanyeol and Baekhyun walked out from the photobox together, flashed a set of photobox pictures. There were a lot of intimate poses, like kissing cheeks, or the one where they looked at each other’s eyes. Also, there were a lot of wacky poses, like showing their teeth or being cute like girls. I couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“I guess that’s a wrap” Jongin clapped his hands. “You guys are a real couple”

“We’re not a couple!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol said in unison.

“Yeah, couples say things together” Baekhee commented. “And you guys can’t deny it”

“Come on, its over already” Chanyeol pouted. “Ah, why don’t we go shopping? Find some clothes for our busking later. I feel like I need a new hat”

The couple game is over, but we’re still on. Although I feel really tired following them, but I can’t just stay down. They could have suspect me for that.

“Boo!”

I turned around, knowing that failed surprise. It was Junmyeon, who smiled at me before he pouted, knowing his failure in surprising me.

“You’re not surprised?”

“Of course not, Oppa” I shook my head. Suddenly, this legs started to feel like a jelly, getting tired of everything. And, Junmyeon realized those tired legs I had.

“You look like you’re about to collapse” he said. “Come on, lets sit down first”

Junmyeon guided me to a bench and we sat down together. “Are you okay? Should I get some meds?”

“I’m fine” I reassured him. “I just need to rest for a while”

He looked to my feet and suddenly his warm eyes turned to a glare. “High heels? I thought we already agreed on this” Junmyeon frowned.

“Agreed on what?”

“That high heels are illegal” he folded his arms. “It made me look short. And more importantly, it hurt your feet eventually”

I laughed. “Seriously, the first one, are you trying to crack a joke again?”

“I’m serious, Jane” Junmyeon looked to my eyes. “Lets buy another shoe, okay?”

Somehow, I remembered the same scene that played before, not too long ago. That guy who came with a piggyback, being selfless and know pretty well that I’d rather deal with a help then walking barefoot with germs.

“Sunbae!”

Funny how this guy can come in a light speed on the moment I thought about him. I’m not even sure if I just did a telepathy or he’s being a teleporter in here.

“I thought you were going somewhere” Jongin suddenly barged in, his eyes looked to my feet. “You’re not even wary, still wearing high heels”

I looked around, and Junmyeon... God, he’s not here anymore.

“Sunbae?” Jongin waved a hand in front of my face. “Come on, lets buy some flat shoes. Or maybe I’ll ask Baekhee noona if she had one in the car”

Junmyeon was here, and now he’s gone. How can he suddenly went away? The last time someone else barged in between, he was still there. But now Jongin came, and he was gone. Where did he went?

“Come on, Sunbae–” he started to grab my hand.

“Don’t touch me” I stepped back.

Jongin realized and he suddenly lift his arms. “I’m sorry” he said. “Sorry, Sunbae”

I should have just left him, but his sudden apology made me feel that the touch was accidental. He was doing that out of nowhere because I was spacing out, and he just made me feel guilty.

“Its fine” I forced a smile and then left him clueless.

The only thing to keep this away was distracting myself into the shopping time. I looked around for clothes that suited me. Since I’m playing guitar, skirts aren’t the right choice. So, I picked up a jeans and a red beanie. But, finding the top was kind of hard for me. I sighed, not understanding why bother find new clothes for a show.

“This one’s looks good on you, Sunbae”

I can’t believe that Kim Jongin was picking clothes for me. I looked to his offer, a gray blouse with the numbers 89 printed on the front. I have to admit that he has a good sense in fashion, too.

“Well, the others are good, too. But your choice...” I picked up some other clothes, before I finally took the same sweater from hanger. “We’ll see after I went to the fitting room”

Jongin raised his eyebrows, looked clueless once again. “Are you still mad because what I did before, Sunbae?” he asked.

“Nope” I shook my head. “Its just... I’m not taking clothes from guys”

“Ah... you don’t like it?” Jongin asked, feeling there’s something wrong. But he’s thinking too far.

“Its the first time a guy is picking clothes for me” I straightened my point, leaving him clueless again. “Don’t worry, this one could be considered”

*

Of all the wonders in the world, music is a beautiful wonder.

If all of my body started to shut down, I would like my ears to be the last one. Listening to a soft music, that whispered me before death slowly touched me. If all of my body started to encounter another day, I would like my ears to be the first one. Waking up to a music, listening to a melody that slowly made you breathe, telling you that everything has been alright.

“I remember how you used to kick my tummy whenever I put on headphones to you” my mother smiled, slowly kissing my hair. I could only smile and drink the glass of milk that she had prepared. Mother introduced me to music, something that she loved along her life. Her love to music is contagious, she was the reason why I absorbing myself into music.

“Jane” Chanyeol called. “What do you think about our that for our busking?”

I was in a long pause, realizing that I was drowning too deep into the story. It was an entry to be later read on Late Night Stroll, but I never thought this entry would be really good, and even took my concentration successfully.

“It was a nice BGM” I murmured, thinking that Chanyeol’s guitar improptu was a nice background while reading the story. But then again, I was spacing out. “Sorry, Chanyeol. I mean, its nice” I corrected my words.

“Its was actually like this” Chanyeol put the iPod on the dock and hit the play button. The song started with a voice autotune that matched with the following guitar melody, creating this angst vibe that sounded peaceful to the ears. As the woman started to sing, she brought the song perfectly, with the lyrics that potrayed the feelings of the song.

This song suddenly brought me to the days in London. I remembered how I used to sing this song in the cafe, and how I remembered his face whenever I sing this song. Its like the song me into the past, traveling around those memories when I was having him by my side. In three minutes and nineteen seconds, the song speaks my story perfectly.

“Did you ever heard this song before?” he asked.

“Yeah” I nodded. “When I was in London, I used to play this song”

“Really?” Chanyeol couldn’t believe that. Then he handed his guitar, ‘Matilda’, to me, which I didn’t take it, being my OCD-self.

“Matilda is for you” I smiled, hiding the OCD behind. I took my own guitar and ignoring Chanyeol’s confused stare and started playing.

Music was a time machine. When the beat goes up, you remembered how you lost your innocence over a music, running along the line of life and eager to live it like it was your last day. But sometimes, a simple of guitar could bring you tears, as you recalled the love that you had in your past. As I put on my headphones, a time machine was brought here. The soft voice of Edith Piaf that sang to the song ‘La Vie en Rose’, reminded me of France, and the heels of my parents that clacked to the floor, dancing slowly with their hands interwined. 

The lines of “You Are The Music In Me” that I read earlier told me the truth. How can this story be true? As soon as I played the song, I started to remember the past, where he was here.

“Whoaaa, did I just hear our Jane singing?”

Baekhyun barged in right after I finished playing. He suddenly turned into a fan, clapping his hands. “Yah, that one’s good! You should play it tomorrow!” he chirped.

“What?” I was surprised. “But, I don’t have much time”

“I don’t even think you need time” Chanyeol agreed to Baekhyun. “You’re playing it perfectly. Its like you’ve been playing this song a lot”

“I think you’re already done” Baekhyun smiled. “Come on, Jane, you’re already mastering it, so there’s nothing to worry. What do you say?”

Am I really that good to them? What makes them believe so much in my music? I mean, I’m not even that good. I don’t have a beautiful voice like Baekhyun, or play guitar as good as Chanyeol. But I know that saying no means another long debate to go, so without taking further problems, perhaps I should just say yes. I nodded my head and they clapped their hands like children.

“Jane is so gonna be our secret weapon for tomorrow” Chanyeol smiled widely. “I can’t wait for Sunday!”

“I think that’s a wrap for today” Baekhyun clapped his hands. “Lets grab some bingsu!”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol walked out from the music room together, but then they realized I was left behind, not moving. “Jane, you’re going or not?” Chanyeol asked.

“I’ll catch up later” I replied before they left. When the door is closed, I looked back to the entry that came up, the story called ‘You Are The Music In Me’.

Music was a confession. A mere expression of feelings.

Blame my photographic memory, but as I played my six strings, he was a pictured perfectly in my eyes. I started inhaling his scent, looking into his eyes, admiring him. He was effortless, but managed to made me fall. I fell deep for him, and music potrayed it once again.

“You didn’t hear me?” he said, pulled my earplug and waving his hand in front of me. “You stepped on my foot”

“I’m sorry” I looked down in apology.

I’m laughing to my clumsiness once again, as I played the strings. I hope you can hear me, although I was sorry for not hearing you.

My eyebrows furrowed. This scene that played in the story, reminded me of something. I’ve seen something like this before, but where? Was it something that I read before?

I fished out a book from my bag. Kai’s The Elevator. I knew exactly where it is, somewhere in page 300 something, where Park Joon, the male lead of this story, told his philosophy of music to his girl, Eunhee.

“Music was a time machine”

She furrowed her eyebrows, not getting the words that I said. “What do you mean by time machine? It can’t get us back to past!” she folded her hands, being her skeptical-self which made me laughed.

“You see, when a song was played and told a story with the lyrics, you’ll start to remember memories that played in your head” I told her.

The woman silenced for a while, before she murmured, “Listening to H.O.T. reminded me of my high school years” she said.

“What?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “You like those dudes?”

“Yeah” she smiled proudly. “And there was this guy who I rejected, singing to their songs on the school’s talent show. Funny, how listening to their songs reminded me of that”

“Was he wearing glasses?”

“Yes!” she suddenly laughed. “Oh my god, its so funny. But I guess your theory was right”

I closed the book, trying to figure out what just happened. How can this entry had the same writing style like Kai? Is this person an imitator? Or maybe, is this Kai’s entry? I shook my head and quickly left the music room.