Donghae and Eunhyuk casually walked down the corridors after class, their hands purposely brushing against each other every now and then, but never truly holding on. They only did that under the table, or when they were completely sure they were alone. The desire to proudly walk down the halls hand in hand was ever so strong, but the pressure put upon them by society, to be normal, to be conventional, to never stray from the path that had been designed for them, always prevailed.

“Zhou Mi!” Donghae noticed the grade 13 Chinese transfer student standing by his locker, turning around upon hearing the familiar voice.

“Ah, EunHae,” he teased. “How are you two love birds?” he was the only person they trusted enough to come out to, and were certain he wouldn’t go spreading any rumours around the school.

“Shh! Don’t speak so loudly, someone could hear you!” Eunhyuk’s eyes darted around, checking for people who might have overheard the comment.

“We’re okay...I guess,” Donghae smiled at the older boy.

“You guess?” Zhou Mi tilted his head, “What’s up?”

“Have you heard about what just happened with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook? Gossip seems to travel quickly around here,” he muttered the last bit.

“Kyuhyun and Ryeowook? The gay couple everyone talks about? No…what happened to them?” Zhou Mi replied.

“Well...they were caught in a quite…uhm...intimate moment, shall we say. And you know how people here are – they can’t let them be, without feeling the need to comment and insult,” Donghae simply stated.

“As per usual,” the Chinese boy sighed, the feeling of sadness for the two boys nestling inside his chest.

“Well…” Eunhyuk continued, “Kyuhyun kind of...flipped out?” his voice was almost questioning, as if he weren’t sure that the events of the previous class had truly happened, or if he’d dreamt them up in a shared delusion with his secret lover. If his entire life wasn’t just a nightmare, and he would wake up in a world filled with love and acceptance, where he could stroll down the corridor proudly holding onto his boyfriend’s hand, without having to face societal judgment.

“Oh,” Zhou Mi exclaimed, “Didn’t you stand up for them? I mean, come on, you two are a couple, imagine how they must feel.” Donghae and Eunhyuk both suddenly took great interest in their sneakers, avoiding the gaze of the older, “ahh, because you’ll be a joke too if you were to stick up for them.” His words held no sympathy or understanding; they were harsh and cold, an accusation underlining his simple statement.

“Well would you have stood up for them? If you were in our position, if you had to pretend to be something you’re not, just to fit in, just to make people happy and follow the norm, would you have defended them?,” Eunhyuk’s head snapped, and his cold eyes were staring right through Zhou Mi.

“Yes, I would have, Hyukjae,” Zhou Mi growled, “And don’t talk to me about hiding.”

Donghae nudged his boyfriend rather sharply in the ribs, who had just realized what he’d said.

“I’m sorry, Mimi,” he whispered.

“It’s okay. All I am saying is that I would have, and in fact will, stand up for their rights, because we are all in this together, and we need to stick to each other if we want to make a change.” Zhou Mi stated, turning back to his locker.

Donghae and Eunhyuk glanced at each other and nodded, the elder’s words ringing in their ears. He had a point, but just how far could they carry on without being found out? Or would it be better for everyone if they came out, standing up for their classmates, helping them realise that despite everything, they were not alone? That they were never alone, even though a handful were capable of the bravery they showed every day.

“Okay, well we’ll be off then,” Eunhyuk started “we just thought you’re better off hearing it from us, rather than one of the bullies when the rumour breaks out. They’ll make it into something it’s not. All Kyuhyun did was grab the kid’s collar so don’t believe any extremities you hear.” Zhou Mi nodded in understanding. The couple took off with a small word of goodbye, leaving the senior to gather his books.

“Hey,” Eunhyuk turned his head to Donghae, a sudden thought dawning on him, “weren’t you and Cho Kyuhyun good friends in middle school? I remember seeing you and him together before you and I became friends,” Donghae looked down at his shoes as he walked.

“Yeah…” he began, though he didn’t seem too willing to add any more information on the matter.

“So…? Shouldn’t you be sticking up for him. You’re in the gay community, you were his friend, why aren’t you helping him?” Hyuk

asked, trying to figure out a reason why his boyfriend shouldn’t help him. “Do you not like him or something?”

“No! It’s not that,” Donghae interjected quickly. “I suppose, I had a crush on him in middle school and then he ended up with Ryeowook. So I guess I was resentful for a bit?” his voice sounded questioning, almost regretful.

“Well, you’re with me now, and we’re happy. So does it really matter anymore?” Eunhyuk reciprocated.

“Are we happy?!” Donghae suddenly piped up. Eunhyuk jumped a little, checking the corridors for possible eavesdroppers, pulling his boyfriend to the the side, away from the crowds.

“What are you saying? Of course we’re happy,” he stared at the younger male with wide eyes, trying to understand where this was suddenly coming from.

“So happy that we have to hold hands under the table?” he shot back, voice raising.

Eunhyuk slapped his hand over the other’s mouth, frantically looking around. When he was sure no one had heard him, he removed his hand, his whisper becoming more urgent, “You know why we do that! You were the one who said we’ll be the of everyone’s jokes if we came out! Is that what you want, Hae?” Donghae sighed and Eunhyuk understood.

“Maybe we’ll try and stick up for them next time then. But we should still keep our relationship on the down low, though sticking up for gay people doesn’t make one gay, right? No one will figure out that we’re a couple...right?” his whisper had become louder, more erratic, “we are happy, Hae…even if nobody knows it, we are happy.”

“I know, I know… I don’t know where that came from…I’m sorry,” Donghae apologised. “Let’s just forget I said anything, okay? I love you.” He grabbed Eunhyuk’s arm, pulling him towards the library, knowing it would be empty at this time of day. He looked around carefully as they entered, making sure that the coast was clear. Eunhyuk quickly caught onto what was going on and mirrored his boyfriend. Sneaking around had become almost second nature to them and by now they knew how to stay out of sight. The room was silent and still, and Donghae took the opportunity to pull Eunhyuk close to him, tangling his fingers in the latter’s hair, pulling him in close and pressing his lips to his lover's. Their eyes automatically closed, the kiss fast and passionate, lasting only a few seconds. Eunhyuk moaned, but it was lost in the depths of Donghae’s mouth. The latter chuckled and pulled away, his breath running short. It was those brief moments that made them feel alive, that made them remember why they put up with all that was thrown their way. They needed each other the way people need plants to survive. Neither of them could imagine their lives without the other, because there was no point in living when the most important person in your life was not there.

“Come on, someone’s gonna hear us,” Donghae dragged his lover out of the library before anyone could walk in and figure out what they were doing.

___________________________________________________________________

Kyuhyun sat on the sofa with his arms folded, nodding along to whatever the guidance counsellor was saying, but not taking it to heart as much as she hoped he would.

“Kyuhyun, I’m just telling you, violence is never the answer. You can’t retaliate to the bullies. Because, for one,” she started listing, “it’s exactly what they want, and two, it could get you in as much trouble as them,” Kyuhyun nodded, eyes focusing on a modernist painting hanging on the wall behind the counsellor. The woman adjusted her glasses and sighed, realizing that he wasn’t really interested in what she was saying. “How are things at home?” she asked. Kyuhyun looked down and played with his hands, the sudden change of the subject making him uncomfortable.

“It’s okay, I guess…” he trailed off. The counsellor raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure? Because now is a good time to talk about it, you know,” she pushed.

“Well...I..." he stuttered nervously before continuing. "My mum lost her job recently, and with her being the only one in the household earning...” he paused. The counsellor jotted down something onto her pad, and when she looked back at him, he could read the pity in her eyes, “Well…”

“I am so sorry to hear that, Kyuhyun. If there is anything I can do to help you, I have some pamphlets for possible alternatives…” she offered. Kyuhyun just shook his head.

“No, thank you, but I don’t think there’s much that can be done right now…things will be fine eventually. She’s trying really hard to find another job, I’m sure it’ll be okay, she’s a smart woman, my Mum,” he assured her. She nodded in understanding.

“Kyuhyun, feel free to come talk to me anytime okay? I’ll do what I can to help you, so just drop by my office anytime you need to talk,”

“Thank you,” he smiled at her. She returned the smile, standing up and stalking off to her office. Leaving Kyuhyun on his own, tears starting to roll well up in his eyes. He shook his head, willing them to stop, but they spilled and started rolling down his face. He had lied, it wasn’t okay. Nothing was ever okay. His Mum wasn’t even trying to find a new job, she had lost all hope and all she did now was sitting around at home, drinking away her problems and relying on the small amount of money that she could get off benefits.

They weren’t okay. He was not okay.