“Yuri-ahh~~~” there you go again making me fall for you harder and harder

 

I was standing at the door of the dance studio ready to go, but you stopped me with your warmth and I can help but to close my eyes and feel it as your magic touch ran through my whole body, your back hug gave me false hope again, I’m so stupid because I know what I felt right now is a mistake

 

“Yuri-ah, I’m tiered” you continue to mesmerize me with your cuteness, I feel weak whenever its you, everything you do everything about you, that’s why I keep my distance to set my limitations

 

“please face me” you turned me around and looked me directly in the eye, how can you do that? How can you look me in the eye without even knowing that you already own me, but I know even though I’m hurting its my own mistake, my mistake for loving you more than you could love me back

 

“Yuri! Jessica! You’re blocking the way” Taeyeon announced as I noticed that the girls are waiting for us to pass because we are blocking the door and they cant get out

That’s the moment when I felt her warmth again, she pulled me out of the studio and then the next thing I know we are already in the hallway walking hand in hand.

 

She tugged my shirt that caught my attention and turned my face to let her know that she already have my attention “Yuri-ah? Where do you wan to eat? I know your hungry, I’ll treat you” she is now pouting and there goes that charm but, since that day I already set my boundary, I know its wrong to love her, and I know will never have her

 

Flashback

 

Its sill midnight and I felt like my throat is dry and I need to get some water

So I immediately went out of my bed and out of my room I was about to walk down in the stairs when I heard a giggle, a giggle that I would die for to hear every day

“uhh! Jessie, what about the love of your life? that you always talk to me about” Even if I cant see I know that voice it is Tiffany, but what I was interested is her question, what if it was for Jessica? Who is the love of her life?

 

  “uh? You mean. . . . . . well I until now I still love that person, I want to confess but I cant do it” I’m right it was Jessica but her voice sounds sad

 

“well, why wont you tell me who that person is, maybe I can help you” tiffany replied in a most persuading way but I know Jessica wont buy it, still I hope she will answer her , I also wants to know who it is

 

Jessica is always sweet to me, she always holds on to me and the other members said that Jessica treats me more special than how she treat them that’s why I still have this hope that she also feels the same way as I do

 

“sorry Tiff but I cant tell you yet, but as soon as I have already confessed you will be the first one to know” gosh, she still stubborn

 

“okay, I understand, but, but why cant you confess?” Curiosity can be heard on Tiffany’s voice

 

I heard her chuckle again, that made me smile as well “silly, how can it be that the girl in the relationship should confess? Shouldn’t it supposed to be the guy?”

 

A guy? Well she’s straight and again its not her fault, it’s my mistake for assuming, its my mistake for loving her and now I don’t think that my throat is dry but instead I can feel a cold tear slowly streaming in my cheek and I cant help it, so I just covered my mouth so no one can hear me  “so it’s a guy? Well to be honest I thought it was Yuri” Tiffany said as she chuckle, well we have the same mind Panny-ah.

 

Jessica chuckled a bit to before answering “wh-what m-makes you think its Y-Yuri?”

 

“well, you always treat her special, so special that the only thing missing is an official label for the both of you” Tiffany explained well, now I know I’m not the only one to think that way

 

“hehehehe is that so?” she reply awkwardly

 

“okay since we’re the only one’s awake and you’re my bestfriend, can-can I confess something?” Tiffany sound hesitant to say what she wanted to

 

“sure no problem what is it?”

 

“Please promise me first that you wont tell anyone”

 

“okay, okay I promise, wha is it?” she said well I cant see what are they’re doing because I cant see them.

 

“I’m jealous of you” It sounded almost a whisper but I still managed to hear it.

 

“why?”

 

“because your. . . because your always with Yuri, now that I know she’s not the one that you are growing feelings for, I am relieved and I just want to let this feeling out, your close to Yuri and I know you will be the first to understand why I have fallen for her. . . . . . . . I love her and I’m going to make her mine, will you help me Jessy?”  

 

I was taken aback of this sudden confession ,So Tiffany likes me? Come to think of it, if it was Tiffany who owns my heart it would have been easier but No, Jessica Jung the ice princess owns this heart, but I know I have no chance and I will fight this feeling.

 

“hmm, I’ll try” Jessica said but her tone of voice is much more different than before, it turns out really cold, but what hurts me most is she agreed to help Tiffany its like she’s giving me away, and it hurts like hell

 

So I thought that I really need to set my boundaries for me not to be hurt farther and not to expect. 

 

 END OF FLASH BACK

 

We stopped walking and I took her hand away that is clinging at my arm, I can see hurt in her eyes as I did that but she didn’t know that it hurts me more.

 

I gave her a smile “sorry sica but I just want to rest, you can go with Yoona or Sooyoung, I’ll just sleep at the dorm” as soon as was finished speaking I patted her head slowly and turned around to walk on the other way, but before I can make my second step, a grip forcefully turned me around

 

“What is wrong with you?!” she yelled at me it’s the first time she did it, and her face shows anger “do you think that I didn’t notice how you’re always  keeping your distance from me? Are you making a fool out of me Yuri?!” I can tell she is exploding in anger, and because of her loud voice the people around us, the staffs, the workers of SM turned to our direction, and now looking at us and there faces shows different emotions

 

I leaned a little closer to her “Jessica, please everyone’s starring at us”

 

“uh! So now your talking to me? Great I still need to shout so you can talk to me with more than three words”

 

“Jessica, please lets just talk about this at an appropriate place” then I pulled her using her arm, as we pass to the people who are staring at us I bowed at them one by one as, Jessica was struggling to get out of my grip

 

“let go of me!”

 

“Yuri-ah?” Tiffany appeared in front of us then I stopped to acknowledge her

 

“uh, Hi, have you eaten yet fany?” I gave her my most charming smile

 

“no, I didn’t eat yet, I was at the dorm to give you this” she lifted a white plastic bag that contains food? “but your not their, so I thought you were at the studio sleeping” she chuckled cutely

 

When I saw her smiling face my mood lit up and then the hand that I was holding was tagged away from me, uh! I forgot I was holding Jessica, so I turned around “Jess, let’s just talk some other time, okay? lets eat first” I know I’m breaking the barrier again but, we need to eat, she needs to eat.

 

Her gaze soften and I don’t know why but it broke my heart seeing those eyes “it’s okay, I’m sorry for acting that stupid, I’ll just. . . .  rest” then she smiled faintly, and I hate my self, I cant explain why but I still end up blaming my self.

 

As she slowly walk away from me I feel something different, my hopes are raised again, what if she’s jealous because I was talking with Tiffany, but I know the truth, why would I always push my self to believe that you Love me too?

 

“Jessy! Come eat with us, we cant finish all of this beside the more the merrier right?” I was startled when Tiffany approached Jessica

 

I cant deny that my heart is hoping that she will eat with us but my mind says the opposite

 

Then I saw Tiffany whispering something and Jessica’s face turned colder than before but she agreed, and with that we started walking our way to the dorm with me trailing the two princesses behind.

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

We are in the dance studio practicing our choreography, we’re already sweating nonstop when manager oppa came and we stop what were doing

 

“good morning girls, okay I would like to offer you something, Girls Generation is globally known and to make it straight to the point we have received an offer from Hawk Entertainments from America and they want one of you to have a debut their and also to train their rookies at the same time, I know it’s a very hard work but it will give the group and especially the one who will represent a great image, You will be debuting as a solo artist but you will still bring the name of SNSD, so any volunteer?” he explained quite precise, and the offer was not bad at all, but I have to know more details

 

I raised my hand like a student “oppa, can I ask how long? We will be gone”

 

A smile was plastered in her face “ohhh! Seems like Yuri is interested, well for 3 to 5 years?” he said while raising her eyebrow

 

“but what if you don’t know how to speak in English?” I added more details and it seems like I’m the only one interested because they jus keep on staring at us

 

“that’s not a problem, we already talked to the president about it and they will provide you a lesson 3 times a week”

 

“what if w. . . “ I was cut off by a stern voice

 

“you’re not going!” its almost a yell but you can hear the strength of the voice

 

The room went silent for a bit and everyone is staring at us while Jessica is staring at me like a criminal, but then manager oppa broke the ice “uh! Jessica how are you and Dongwook?” 

  

Jessica’s face became pale and as for me I don’t know why but I felt my hear sank

 

“w-well w-w-we we are fine” her voice was trembling and I can sense that something is wrong, its either me or Jessica

 

“just fine? You’ve been dating for five days?”

 

Everyone gasp, no one knew about it, she’s really something, but again its not her fault she was just loving someone, and it just happens that I also loved someone but it was a mistake loving her, it was a mistake for falling for her that even in the beginning you already know that you cant have her , that it will always be wrong to love her and it was a mistake to think that she will love me back

 

“so, its been Dongwook all along huh? You finally confessed? Wow! Congratulations Jessy!” Tiffany then hugged her and one by one they joined the hug and it became a group hug I was the last one to join them, I cant lie I’m hurt but my mind says I should be happy for her, I want to cry but it will just cause wonders to them, so I just held my tears back.

 

Then we broke our hug and smiles can be seen from all of their faces, and it hits me, they are all happy for them and I claim my self that I love her but I cant even smile for her sake, I mean Dongwook oppa is a nice guy, I know he will never hurt Jessica, I know she can love her as much as I do, I know it hurts but if I truly love her then I should be happy for her, and I should let her go.

 

The room was silent so I decided to talk, I have already made up my mind, this is for the group, for me and for her. I face our manager with a grin to hide my sadness I know it will be hard but this is for us “oppa, when will be my flight?”

 

“Yuri! Please think about this first”

 

I turned to face the source of the voice and gave her a smile ”I’m old enough Tae, and this is also for our group, this is a rare opportunity that we should not waste and don’t worry I will not put a dirt on our group”

 

“no, I know you can do it, but, we wont be with you anymore, we need you, I mean who will make us smile when we feel tired of a long day of practice?” her voice tremble, despite of her image as a leader she has the most delicate heart when it come to her members

 

“yeah! Who will help me learn the difficult dance steps?” now its Hyoheon’s turn

 

Then I receive a slap on my shoulder “you can leave, no one will help me prank them if Sooyoung is busy eating” Yoona is now crying and seriously her excuse was not so convincing, but I appreciate her effort

 

“Yah! No one will buy me snacks anymore if you’ll go, you’re the only member that gives me the piece of her pizza and let me eat the cake on her birth day, and how can you dare to leave kwon yuri? You’re so mean” Sooyoung is trying to fight her tears back but she failed, and it only shows how important I am to them, but I didn’t notice for my eyes is stuck to a certain blond

 

What shocked me the most is that Tiffany hugged me real tight as she sobs in my chest, she’s crying so hard like I was going to die “P-please Yuri, please don’t leave, please just stay”

 

I then hugged her back and caress her back to comfort her “hey, I wont be gone for along time, okay? I will be back and you wont even notice that I’m already back”

 

“no, please yuri stay, I don’t care if its just for a year, I don’t want you to go, I Love You Kwon Yuri, please don’t leave me, please”

 

 As my shirt soaked by her tears my heart sank as she plead, why didn’t I love Tiffany instead? I was taken aback about her confession even thou I already know and I know everyone in the room is also shocked, but of all the people I want to know Jessica’s reaction, I want to know if she’s happy, I want to know if she’s hurt I want to know if she loves me more than Tiffany do, cause if she will say those words to me right now, then I wont go, I’m willing to give up everything for Jessica Jung

 

 But she just stood their with her cold expression, she didn’t even move a muscle, I was again hurt by my own expectations. I remembered Tiffany, what if I’ll come back and Tiffany still loves me? then I will try to give her my heart, I’ll give Tiffany a chance.

 

 “I’ll make a deal, if I come back and you still feel the same then I will give us a chance, I’ll take care of you I’ll give you my heart, I’ll try to give you my best, but promise me that by the time that I’m still gone you should live a happy life and fell free to love some one else, don’t set any boundaries, you should live happily arraseo?”

 

She broke our hug and faced me, she then showed me her eye smile and left me wondering that its not hard to love this angel

 

“arraseo”

 

“so, it’s final then Yuri will go, I know she can bring the groups name with flying colors” she grinned that lit the rooms mood but then we heard a loud slam at the door, then I looked around and Jessica was no where to be found

 

“whats wrong with Jessy?” Yoona asked

 

“Yul? I think you should follow her” Taeyeon suggested but then I obeyed I also want to talk to her before I go, maybe to tell her how I really feel so that I can completely let her go.

 

I was running in the hallway while searching for her, and a slim figure caught my eye, she was sitting on the bench she was bowing down while her face was covered by her palm as her shoulder was moving up and down indicating that she was crying, good thing we are the only ones here

 

I came closer as I place my hand on her shoulder, I can’t stand seeing her like this it hurts me more “Sica? What’s wrong?” I am now kneeling infront of her as I was looking up to her covered face

 

“j-just leave me y-yyul”

 

“no, I won’t, I won’t leave you like this”

 

She removed her hand from her face and it breaks my heart to see her in this state her face was soaking wet. She looked me directly in he eye and I can see sadness, longing, hatred, LOVE?

 

“are you trying to make a joke? You just going to leave me Yul, your just going to be gone”  

 

“that’s why for this last time let me comfort you, let me do this for the last time until I come back”

 

A tear dropped from her eye and landed at the back of my hand, from just a single tear from her I feel like crying its like I felt her pain

 

She smirked that made me confused “You will never come back” its almost a whisper, those words were said full of emotions

 

I don’t know why but I also cried with her, tears are now flowing down “its just a contract Sica, it will only take for a few years”

 

She shook her head while tears continue to drop “but as you return, it will be different, you will be with Tiffany”

 

“Sica, listen it won’t change a thing, you will always be my ice princess”

 

“and then what? She will be your Eye-smile Princess?!”

 

I cant utter a word, I cant understand her

 

“now you cant say anything huh? (chuckles) your so numb Yul” then she stood up and left me hanging, I know what she meant but she didn’t say that she Loved me maybe its just false hope again. . . . . . . . . .

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Now I’m at the plane, thinking what could life offer me in America? I hope it will give me much more happiness so I can forget my real life for a bit. . . . . . . . .

The real question is who will I choose when I get back? Should I choose the RIGHT ONE? Or should I pick MY MISTAKE?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my (long) one shot