"I hold out my hand but I can't touch you" Super Junior: Mid-Season

Hyukjae~ 

"I love you Lee Hyukjae." 

Those words kept ringing in my head all day! 

"Aish!" I grabbed a pillow and bit down on it pulling it harshly with my teeth. 

"What did my pillow do to you?" Sungmin waltzed into his room with a bag of take out and pulled his pink pillow out of my teeth. He handed me the take out and I set it on his bed unable to do anything. 

No surprise there though. Ever since last night when Kyuhyun had confessed to me I couldn't do anything right! It's like my mind and body where two different beings! I was being even more clumsier I wasn't focusing properly and heck I was even ignoring my precious strawberry milk right now! 

"Hyukjae! My arm is literally gonna fall if you don't grab your food right now." An impatient Sungmin interrupted my thoughts when he ed my Chinese ordered food in my face. I pouted and grabbed it setting it on my lap. 

"Minnie I don't know what to do." I finally spoke up. He smiled widely at me and I deduced that yes he was just waiting for me to bring this subject up. 

"Say yes duh!" He beamed and I guessed right. Dammit bunny I can't just say yes! As if reading my thoughts he rolled his eyes and pointed at me with his chopsticks. 

"Yes you can! Jeez Hyukjae there he is Kyuhyun confessing to you and you just reject him?" I groaned. How many times had I explained that I hadn't rejected him? Too many! Stupid bunny is no help. 

"For the last time I didn't reject him!" At least not yet. Wait should I? Yes that's the proper thing to do right? I mean I just got out of a relationship and to start a new one right away is just I don't know.. wrong? 

"Hyukjae! It's not wrong to start a new relationship after a break up." I heard him say after he had finished an egg roll. 

"What are you a psychic?" I rolled my eyes accusingly at the munching bunny. He swallowed and looked at me "No you're just too easy to read." He shrugged going back to his food. 

"Sungmin, look Kyuhyun is great and all but I feel it's wrong. He'd be like a rebound! I don't want that." I honestly spoke to him finally opening my food. 

"Kyuhyun wouldn't mind if it's you but seriously talking here, it's been weeks since you and Donghae" He paused making sure I was okay with the mention of him and honestly this time I didn't even flinch or wander back to memory lane which is odd really. "Broke up. So I suggest you give Kyuhyun a chance. I can't guarantee you won't get hurt because honestly speaking relationships all have their moments. Even Hanchul and you know that! But Kyuhyun is way different than your ex. I can assure you that. He's worth it believe me." I stopped playing with my rice and looked up at him. He was sitting on Jae's bed with his food forgotten on his side. 

"Minnie I'm just afraid. I don't think I can go through what I went through with Donghae again." I went back to poking my food when I felt the bed shift slightly. I turned to my left and saw Sungmin sitting next to me. 

"I know that Hyukkie but I doubt Kyuhyun will ever cheat on you." He once again looked at me but I wasn't even paying attention to how the word tended to open my scar because right now it wasn't. I kept thinking about his words. 

"Look he's my best friend and I had never seen him so interested and in love with someone like how he is with you. he wasn't even gay until he met you. You turned him and he wasn't afraid of coming out for you." Whaaaa? I turned him? Wow this is ego inflation. Aside from that I can't believe it I thought he was- wait that's right though I never knew he was gay to begin with he never talked about his ual orientation. At least not with me so I never asked nor cared (but honestly I don't really care about anyone's anyways). 

Donghae actually cared about coming out though. Not even for me he was willing to but there he is Kyuhyun willing to do that for me. 

What is this stupid stomachy feeling. Agh I'll take some Pepto Bismol that must be it. 

"When did he say he'd need your answer?" Sungmin asked trying to feed me. I reluctantly opened my mouth and after swallowing I spoke up again looking at him. "Today before he goes back." He nodded and I couldn't help but bite my lip thinking it over again. 

I have to talk to him. 

I stood up to leave but a hand grabbed me yanking me back down.

"Not so fast! I know you're so eager to see your boyfriend but-" I blushed at that glaring at the bunny who was smiling innocently "You have to eat first! You haven't eaten since last night now open up!" I huffed in defeat knowing Sungmin's motherly side had popped out and I knew I'd loose if I declined. 

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I inhaled deeply and walked into the cafe I used to work in. After I was done eating (forced more like) I decided to look for Kyuhyun. Just his name gets me nervous. 

I had asked around until Wookie told me he was at Mouse Rabbit. The cafe I used to work at along with Sungmin, Yesung, and Junsu. Ah good old times. I remember when Sungmin got us to see his all time favorite drama called Boys over Flowers or something like that for a whole week no was it a month? Anyways he displayed it on the Tv plastered on the wall for that long it was all customers watched but didn't seem to complain about it unlike us three. 

Sungmin started calling us the F4 just like in the drama. Junsu actually liked it sometimes taking up the role jokingly seriously. Does that make sense? While Yesung and I knew better than to forbid the bunny man from calling us that. 

We actually gained a lot of customers with our looks though so I guess that's why F4 stuck. Until I left that is. I wonder if I could get my job back hmm. 

So after walking in my eyes immediately searched for that pale handsome brunette. What? he really is handsome! It's not like I'm falling already jeez. 

There he was sipping on a latte while Junsu laughed at whatever he was saying. I smiled knowing Kyuhyun was a funny man that liked seeing his friends laugh at his stories or jokes. That's something charming actually. What? It's true and you know it! I'm not falling! 

I stood there watching the two until Yesung waved me over. I walked over to him and sat in front of the counter on a pink stool that I knew Sungmin would shove me out of if he was here. 

The cafe was rather colorful but not too rainbowy colorful. The stools where patterned colors. The rest of the tables where wooden red with comfortable brown cushions that is if you're wanting a long table. There's others of four or two as well. There's also an area with bean bags. It was mainly used to study in here while enjoying the warm welcoming place and delicious snacks. There's even books around! Which are buyable by the way so no borrowing go to the library for that hehe. 

"Here." He handed me a strawberry milkshake and I beamed. Sunggie really does miss me. I wiped a fake tear out of the corner of my eye "Sunggie I missed you too!" I dramatically cupped my milkshake and sipped on it like no tomorrow. 

He laughed and shook his head "Hyuk everyone knows you love anything with strawberries" I glared at him "Way to kill it Yesung" I said and he laughed again. 

My eyes traveled back to the brunette who was showing Junsu his phone. They were talking animatedly and suddenly Junsu saw me and pointed at me. "Hyukkie!" He said making the brunette in front of him turn to look at me. He smiled warmly and I blushed almost choking on my drink. 

They came over to me at the counter and I turned to look at Yesung to find the bastard gone. Of course he would. Good thing Sungmin chose today as his day off though that still doesn't help because he might burst in with a crazy plan. 

"Hyukkie came to say hi? I didn't see you at the party by the way." While Junsu demanded an explanation I hid my blush with my hands and glanced at Kyuhyun doing the same only pretending to be deep into his phone. 

"Yeah about that I just decided to leave early so I guess you came later afterwards." It wasn't really a lie either I mean I did leave shortly after the sudden confession. What? Don't blame me I was still shocked okay! 

"Junsu get over here!" I heard Yesung pop his head out of the kitchen. I glared at him knowing what he was up to but then again I was here to talk to him right? Junsu excused himself and left to help Yesung. Now I gulped not knowing what to say. Where's the confidence I walked in with? Aish! 

"Hyukjae," I turned to him and he motioned me to follow him. I did and we ended up outside of the cafe. 

"Look I don't want to pressure you into this alright? I thought about it and maybe it wasn't fair that I ask that of you so soon. I should understand you barely came out of a long relationship and all so yeah." He ended unsurely and I could tell he was having trouble choosing the right words. 

"Kyuhyun I'm sorry I just don't want you to be the rebound." He looked at me surprised. I guess he never thought of it that way. I'm in trouble now dammit. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that! Kyuhyun I'm-" I was panicking now. 

"It's ok Hyukjae I guess I really shouldn't have asked you. But I don't regret telling you I love you because I truly do." With that he turned around and left. I wanted to stop him I really did. I felt my chest tighten. No I can't fall for him. I can't fall for anyone. 

But those words coming out of his mouth leave me breathless. 

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Don't kill me for what I did there! /.\ Poor Kyuhyun got rejected twice if this counts as one anyways. I'm sorry! (Hides) It's gonna get interesting soon! Anyways on to writing the next one. See you soon!