A childhood flashback.

"Son, learn this... Son, learn that... It good for your future."

"Yes, mom."

"Son, eat this,ok?  It good for your health."

"Ok, mom."

"Son, don't play with that kid.  He is naughty and dirty.  Look at your hand, dirty!"

"Sorry, mom."

A high school flashback.

"Mom, can I go out after my English tuition class?"

"Where you want to go, son?  I can accompany you."

"Oh, thank you, mom."

"Mom, can I buy this?"

"No~~ That one better.  We take that."

"Oh, ok, mom."

"Mom.."

"They are bad students, don't hang out with them."

"Ok, mom."

A Uni flashback.

"Take this course, son."

"Ok, mom."

"Where will you go? I'll send you there."

"Ok, mom."

"Why you being so stubborn this time?  She is a play girl, she doesn't suit you."

"Mom, please allow me to make my first choice in my life, at least for this time, ok?"

"You will regret, son."

At the moment together with first love flashback.

"No~~ My mom dislike me wear blue color shirt.  She said it not suit me."

"I must go home now, my mom calling me.  I can't go back late more than 10p.m, she will worry for me."

"I can't, I need to ask for my mom permission first.  Maybe I just let you know later?"

"I'm sorry, but my mom told me........"

The moments when argued and the break up with first love flashback.

"What do you want?  Am I not enough good to you?  My mom says...."

"Why you choose him over me?  We already engaged, and my mom already...."

"What are you talking about?  No way, my mom would not allow me to do so."

"Stop it, we are over!  Reason?  He is richer than you, more independent than you, much more mature than you and, he bring me securities.  The last and the important thing is, he is not a 'my mommy-say' son!!!"

"Son, as I told you earlier she is a play girl, right? Look!  You should listen to me.  You shouldn't engaged with her."

"............Yes, mom!"

A flashback at poor working experiences

"Are you crazy?  You are the one working,not your mom!"

"Fine, I quit!"

"Please call back us in personally if you want take medical leave, not your mom!"

"This is my son's resignation letter."

"What the hell,  even resign you need your mom passed us the resignation letter?" 

"You are fired!"

Inside the bedroom.

A glass of water, a medical report, a table lamp, a photo frame, books.....  He got drunk and began to grabbed and smash things into the wall.

"Son, take this~"

"We are regret to inform you...You are fired!!"

"He is richer.  A mommy-son....."

"You shouldn't do that..."

"This examination result shows you infected with herpes, which caused by Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV). We suggest you........ There is no cure for HSV and the treatment is not essential.However,I will prescribe you the antiviral tablets,to reduce the severity of an outbreaks..... It is possible for the dormant virus to be recurrence in some people..."

"Stop it! Stop it!!!  Don't talk to me!!!  Shut up, You!!"

As he shouted depressingly, he knelt down and covered his both ears with hands.  Sweat beaded up on his forehead,  "What more can I do?  Why?  I am just about a joke, a failure laughingstock to others....."  Slowly he closed his eyes, crouched at the floor and abandoned himself to despair. "Aom....."

At the same time, on different place.

His face clouded over, after received a call from bank.  He lit his tobacco and inhaled deeply.  "Damn it!  I must solve this knotty problem as soon as possible."

[11 Nov 2013]

As usual, I didn't talk much to her on today.  This morning when I showed myself at the dining room, I saw she put a bunch of roses in a vase, and then bring the vase into her bedroom. I felt my mood spoiled. The air problem, I guessed,due to the stinky yet ugly flowers.  Another reason that bring me into cloudy mood is, it will soon be my birthday. 

[12 Nov 2013]

Today, together we went out and came back from uni.  She is the one requested me to take her with my motorcycle.  Besides, for the first time we sat together in our class.  What's wrong?  I'm not sure this is a good changes or not.  We had a pleasant conversation, exchanged some views about our daily life.  She even offered help, lend me her homework and let me copy her answer.  And, it is only quite recently that I found myself became moodily.  I am pleased when she looked at me, talked to me and stayed with me; I am fidgeting when she playing her handphone over 30 seconds, reading at the unknown incoming messages or received any phone calls.  I dislike her smile, especially she smile brightly when she pick up the call from someone.  I don't know, this kind of feeling was strange to me.  What I could do was kept reminded myself from not to show up any feeling on my face, stay calm and look steadily, Tina!

[13 Nov 2013]

We had talked about that good looking guy, Daniel.  He's working for her father, as Director of Business Development.  She told me how they getting knew each other, and how they become a couple.  Daniel was a famous photographer before he worked under M.G Group.  He did travelled many countries, and held up two photo exhibition before at Bangkok.  He is talented and specialized in portraits shooting though he was take this occupation as a fun.  The strange feeling comes to me again, but I try to bear with it in mind and try hard not to interrupted her.  I was falling into my own world, and for the following topics I didn't pay much attention on it.  All I heard is about a babble of voices, she rattled away beside me merrily.

[14 Nov 2013]

This morning, on the way we went to uni, she asked me to stop at the road side.  Even though I wondered why, but I obeyed and didn't ask why.  I looked surprisingly at her when she took out a scarf from her bag and she walked to the road center.  My eyes open wide, saw her put the scarf covered on the cat dead body, lifted it and walked to me.  "Can you find me a suitable place to bury it?"  The bright morning sun dazzled me, that's why I find her was shining like the beaming sun above.  And she make my heart sparked, lit somewhere used to cold and dark.  It might weird to said so, but I think she bring me warmth.

We missed our morning tutorial class, and together we bury the cat stiff body at the very corner side of the Central Park, which located no far from our campus.  She took one stone and write 'RIP Lucky' on it using her marker pen and put the stone on the grave.  She said "Her name is Lucky.  Because she's lucky to meet us in the end of her life."  And then she smiling to me.  This incident inspired me to think in lateral thinking, and I take time to rethink my current position and the meaning of my life.  For my past 10 years after my parents passed away, am I living with duress my soul, the real me and motiveless?  I hope I can find out the answer, as soon as possible.  And I swear to myself, I will take this mission-my responsibilities seriously, to protect her from being harm.

[15 Nov 2013]

Today I woke up earlier than before.  I decided to try, to show my friendliness and kindness by smiling.  I practice smiled at the mirror, think to find a way more comfortable or look nature to smiles.  However, time is running out and I think my face was about to seized cramp after I smiled silly at the mirror for about an hour inside the bathroom.  As usual, after breakfast we ride off to uni.  I smiled to everyone I met up, along the corridor, inside the classroom to my classmates and lecturers.  My smiling strategic is works to everyone, except her.  Why my smiling face make her annoyed?  I have no idea too.  But I noticed her face darken whenever somebody approaches me and talked with me.

Gradually I lost my patience, because I'm tired of kept smiling and answer to their questions, especially those girls who own wildest imagination.  Then I swift back to blank face mode, and it kinda depressed me, because of her mood swings to good magically after I was in blank face mode.  Why she do not accept me and my friendly smile?  I really hope that we can be good friend, but when I think of I cheated her about my identity, my mood spoiled. 

[16 Nov 2013]

Lucky Saturday.  I had migraine, and luckily I don't need attend to uni today.  I kept myself inside my bedroom, skipped the lunch and dinner.  Tomorrow.......tomorrow.... The scar within my heart, I can feel it now.  It has "reactivativated" from its deep soundly sleep, its yelling to me, bleeding and break my heart into pieces, again.  Just like I'm taking time machine back to the past, the date, the time I was 13 years old. 

Today is 17 Nov 2013, around 00:05 a.m.

Tina closed her eyes and covered up the diary book, then following with a deep sigh.  She lounged herself in the chair, with her hands gently massage both of her head side to reduce the awful feeling bringing by migraine.  "Maybe I should check with the maid if there have any painkiller tablets for me?"  As she thoughts inside her mind, someone knocked at her door.  "Tina?  May I enter?"  Aom is standing outside Tina's bedroom and asked. 

All of sudden, the door open and Aom, this eavesdropper who leaned one side of her ear against the door lost her balance and fall forward.  Luckily, Tina was there and she able to catch and hold on to her body.  "I just curious what you doing inside for the whole day long."  Aom explained to Tina in embarrassment and then she remember about her purposes being here,  "Close your eyes, Tina."  She grabbed at Tina's left hand and led her walks downstairs, to the living room.  "Stand here, don't peek."

The living room was decorated with some flowers and party accessories like colorful ballon.  Aom gestured the maid to switch off the lights and leave them alone.  Candles glimmered, Aom lit the candle and with both hands held a tray which contained 13 cupcakes.  Each of the cupcake top placed a candy alphabet, a sentence "H" "A" "P" "P" "Y" "B" "D" "A" "Y" "T" "I" "N" "A" structured.

" Hey hey hey~~ Happy Birthday, happy happy birthday to you, Tina!  Surprise~~"  Aom sang the birthday song and then look up for Tina's respond.  However, Tina showed no glimmer of interest in the surprise that prepared by Aom. She is averse to blow the candle. There was an air of embarrassingly in the living room.  Aom smile awkwardly, then she gave Tina a cheery wink and says,  "A big surprise ya?  Tina, make a wish and blow the candle.  My hands were tired to held the tray for so long."

"How did you know that?  What do you know about me?  This isn't called surprise!"  Tina said harshly and criticized Aom for what she had done.  Then she leave Aom with her shock face after saw Tina's reaction.  Tina's heading to the kitchen, she's feel upset about what just happened.  "That brat!  What's she thinking?  Reminding me that today is my in' birthday??  So annoying....."

While she's looking for something in the cabinet, a maid entering the kitchen and surprised because she saw Tina there.  "Oh My Lord, Ms. Tina, what are you doing here? I thought you were with Ms. Sushar."  Said the maid in surprise.  "I'm looking for painkiller."  Tina said and ignoring her.

"Ohh, let me help you.."  The maid said.   "Anyway, do you like her surprised,the mini party?  She prepared it by herself and not letting us to help her, except Mr. Lee-the chef.  He's the one who help Ms. Sushar in baking the cupcake.  Well, we quite shock when heard Ms. Sushar ask Mr. Lee to assist her in making cupcakes, since this is her very first time using the kitchen utensils.  She said this is for your birthday and she want to prepare it by herself.  I know she is a warm and kind hearted girl, but I never thought that she can do such thing for you Ms., cuz you know, we always see that you both always fight and do pranks for each other every day.... Here's your medicine Ms.,"  Then she handed Tina the painkiller.

Tina stopped what she's doing all of sudden after hearing the blabbered from the Maid, then she turned to face her.  "What did you say?"  Ask Tina in disbelieved tone.

"Well I'm saying that Ms. Sushar..........."

"I heard what you're saying.  But, this can't be happening. How's she............"  Tina cut the maid.  "Oh My God, what did I do?  Did I just hurt her?"  Tina thought in her mind.  "She's just trying to please you, Tina.  How could you be such harsh to her?"  An Angel sound playing in her head.  "Oh crap.."  Ignoring the maid who still handed the painkiller to her, Tina step back to the living room to find Aom.

Aom sat on the big pillow on the furry carpet in the living room.  She's still had blank face with her, didn't do anything nor say anything.  Just looking at the melting candles on the cupcakes on the table.  "What did I do?  Why is she so harsh to me?  Did she really hates me?"  She thought to herself, and she didn't realize that a tear start brimmed in her eyes, and rolling down her soft cheeks.

The maid there didn't dare to say anything nor disturb her.  Then Tina showed up from the kitchen.  She stopped when she saw Aom's back facing her, sitting on the pillow with head down.  She walk slowly to Aom and when she's just a step right behind Aom's back, she heard a little sound of sobbing.  She suddenly down to her knees, hug Aom from the back and bury her head on Aom's shoulder.  The maid decided to leave them alone after saw the scene, leaving them both on their own in the living room.

"I'm sorry Aom... I'm so sorry..."  Tina said while hugging Aom from the back.  Aom got a little surprised when she felt someone hold her tight from her back.  They didn't move for a while, but then Tina loosing her hug when she felt Aom try to move her body.  Aom turn her body facing Tina, her puppy eyes and her face full of tears now.  Tina feels hurt inside seeing Aom's face like that. 

"Why were you so mad?  Why were you so harsh?  Did I do something wrong?  I just wanna make you smile today.  It's your birthday, why do you have to be so mean?  I hate you..... I hate you...... I.........."  Aom burst her anger, dissappointment, and she's crying out loud now while hitting Tina's arm.   "I know... I know... I'm sorry Aom... I am so sorry... It's my fault..."  Tina cut her words and action by hugging her so tight, let Aom crying on her shoulder and making her t-shirt wet.  She suddenly forget that she's having migraine just now.  "Please forgive me Aom..."  she continued.  They're hugging at each other for a while and letting their feelings go away together, for the first time.

After Aom a little bit calm, she released her hug from Tina.  Tina wipes Aom's tears from her face with her both hands.  "You such a crybaby..."  And she smile warmly to Aom.  "You're the one who make me cry.."  Said Aom with blushing face.  "Why you still look so beautiful even after crying like that, Aom?"  Tina wondering to herself while studying at Aom's face.  This is the first time she frankly admit that Aom is a beautiful girl.  "What do you looking at?  Silly.."  Said Aom ruining her imagination.

"Hahaha.. I'm just thinking that you are really daddy's little princess, huh?"  Tina said and hiding her own feelings.  And that sentence definitely makes Aom pout.  "Ohh, she's cute too with that sulky face.."    Tina pinched her nose.  "Stop pouting, you'll look like a duck."  

"Ooiii!  Who gave you the permision to pinch my beautiful nose?"  Said Aom rubbing her nose, and that makes Tina laugh so hard.

"Okay, okay princess,, so how you know my birthday? I believed that I never tell you anything about it.."

"Hehe, I'm good on it, aren't I?"  Aom said with grinning smile.  Tina smile too seing her like that.  "It's my dad........"

"Dad, how're you doing? I miss you so bad!" Inside her bedroom, Aom talked to her dad Mr. Manaying on the phone.  "I've been busy lately, Princess.  How're you?  It is good to hear your voice before I sleep.  Ya, what do you want to tell me?  Anything?"  Mr. Manaying laughed heartily.  "Take care yourself, Dad.. And ya, may I ask you about...Uhmm...Tina?"  After she struggle for awhile, Aom finally spoke out her purpose to make this call to her dad.  "Tina? Something happen there? You met any problems?"  Mr. Manaying was filled with anxiety about his Princess' safety.  "No no... I'm good here, don't worry.  About Tina, I just think that I need to understand something about her, don't you want me to be good to her?"  Aom tried to comfort Mr. Manaying and find an excuse for herself.  "Oh... I'm glad that you're safe.. maybe I'll let you know "something" about Tina tomorrow, ok? Goodnight to me, Princess."  Mr. Manaying relieved after heard what Aom said to him but soon he excuse himself, because he also don't know "something" about Tina.  "Ok, that's a deal.  Goodnight and sleep tight, dad~"

The next day, on November 12th, Aom got a text from her father when she spending time with Tina.

"Princess,  maybe you should know that this November 17th will be Tina's birthday.  Will you spend the day with her?  She's always celebrate it alone since her parents passed away, I believed.  She must be happy if she have an accompanion during her special day."

"Oh, really dad?  That's not more than a week from now..  What should I do?"

"You can buy her a birthday cake.  I believe she'll like it.  Just be a good friend to her, Princess.  Ok?"

"That's a good idea!  Okay dad, thank you for the info.  I love you!"

"I love you more, my Princess.  Be a good girl."

Aom smiling so wide untill she didn't realized that someone besides her frowning seeing her smile while busy playing with her phone every 30 seconds.

"So you asking your dad?"  Tina ask her in disbelieved.  "Yup, that's how I know about your birthday.  I really thinking so hard before deciding to prepare you this.  Since I dont even know you that much."  Aom said while taking the tray and bring it in front of Tina.  "Now close your eyes, make a wish and blow the candle.."  She smile sweetly looking at Tina's face.  Without complaining, Tina closed her eyes, claps her both hand in front of her chest, and pray.  After that she smile to Aom and leaned closer blowing the melting candle off.  "Yeaaayy!  Happy birthday Tina!"  Said Aom cheerfully.  "Thank you, crybaby.."  Tina answered while patting Aom's head lightly.

Aom smiles widely, she beamed with joy, so does Tina.  "So, what's you wish