Changmin POV

In the dead of the night, when everyone was asleep, I was silent. I couldn't sleep. Honestly, how could I?

I had just been told that I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Yoochun had left me, with another round of silent apologies playing through his lips. I had asked him to stay, to just be with me. I didn't want to be alone. Not now, not ever. Despite all that Yoochun had done to me, to my brother, it didn't matter to me anymore. I just didn't want to be alone.

With a soft, painful smile on his lips, Yoochun apologized once more and left.

And I was alone.

The darkness of the room seemed adamant on consuming me, and I curled into myself, closing my eyes to the illusions I knew only I could see. I didn't want to die. Not now, not when I had so much ahead of me. But I knew this wasn't in my control, not Yoochun's, nor Yunho's. This was their Head Leader's.

I got up and walked to the door. Hesitantly, I placed a hand on the doorknob, twisting it fractionally, fully expecting it to be locked. Imagine my surprise when it opened soundlessly, the hinge not even making a hint of a noise. I froze where I was. This had to be a trap. There was no way they could've just left the door unlocked like that.

But the only one who had been in here was Yoochun. He wouldn't hurt me... would he? Did he want me to escape? To run?

I could run, but I knew that I had nowhere to go. I knew no one else in the world that I could depend on other than Siwon. And I couldn't escape forever. One way or another, I was bound to be found. This was the government, if Yoochun had truthfully told me. You don't expect to run away and succeed when it came to them.

My hand dropped from the doorknob.

Should I run, when I knew I was going to get caught anyway? I had to at least try, shouldn't I? I had to at least try and find a way out of here.

I wasn't going to die. Not like this.

I steeled myself, placing a hand on the knob once more. I had to try.

I had to at least try.

Yoochun POV

I lay in bed, wondering whether what I had done was the right thing to do. Perhaps it was. Perhaps it wasn't.

I had purposefully left Changmin's door unlocked, hoping that he would at least fiddle with the door to realize. I knew I was taking a long shot, but I really wanted him to escape, to sneak out and just leave. Maybe just run to his father and get out of the country. Hopefully to never return.

I lay there silent and listening for any changes in the air. Softly, so softly that I almost missed it, I heard a door shut, closing with barely a wisp of sound. I sat up, stretching my senses as I tried to catch more movement. A muffled step forward, bare feet creeping around heavily carpeted floor. My heart leaped up to my throat. I was suddenly very scared. Would he get anywhere? Would he even make it past Yunho's door? The noise he was making was detectable for our ears. The footsteps were becoming consistent. He was heading for the stairs. I closed my eyes and strained my ears, trying to catch more. But then it was quiet.

Changmin POV

I made my way down the hallway as quickly and as quietly as I could. I had decided. I wasn't about to leave Karam here, I was going to get help and come back. That was the best thing I could come up with, unfortunately. But I had to take the risk; there wasn't really any other way. I reached the stairs leading to the first floor, immediately making my way downstairs. From experience, I knew to stick close to the walls to minimize creaking floorboards. I reached the ground floor, turning my head this way and that to figure a way out. I couldn't waste much time figuring out the blueprints of the house - that would take just too much time. Instead, I decided to just test my luck and turn the nearest bend.

Straight into the TV room.

Jaejoong was inside, his wide, glassy eyes staring straight back at me. I nearly yelled from shock, feeling my heartbeat picking up tenfold. His complete lack of emotion made it seem like I was staring at a doll and for a moment I thought I was. And then he blinked.

"Oppa," he said, surprised voice betraying his blank face. "What are you doing up so late?"

For a while I was too stunned to react. What was he going to do? Yell for attention? Attack me?

"I... Thought--"

"Are you running away?" he interrupted, head tilted to the side.

I gulped. I was completely cornered now. I could practically feel the blood dropping from my face as my heart beat even faster.

"You can run," he said ominously, "but don't let me catch you."

I took a few steps back. This wasn't the same person that I knew from before. This wasn't sweet Jae Jae. The glint in his eyes was testament to that. Something was different about him. I stared one final time at him, his doe eyes still on me, before turning and breaking into a run.

I didn't care for the noise I made now. He already knew my plan anyway. I could feel myself getting into an adrenaline rush from fear and excitement. I hadn't quite forgotten what had happened back when they had attacked my house. Jae had pulled the trigger to that gun without hesitation, killing my guards just like that. At the same time I felt my excitement bubble and grow. I had a chance of escaping. But based on the warning Jae had given me, I had better do it soon.

What I assumed was the front door came into view. I really hoped it was the front door. I grabbed the handle, turning the knob - kind of surprising that it was unlocked - and burst through the door to get the heck out of there.

I didn't quite know what I was expecting to see, but my brain immediately tried to think of the quickest way of escape, and survival equaled to being unseen, for some reason. To the far left of my peripheral vision was a densely packed group of trees which I was sure would lead to a forest should one venture deeper inside.

Before I had even made the decision to move, my legs were already running towards the forest at the far end of the lawn. I ran as fast as I could, not really thinking. The cluster of trees loomed closer into view, when something suddenly made me look towards the left. Call it sixth sense, or gut feeling or whatever, but it seemed that that saved my life.

On the second floor balcony of the house I just ran out of, aimed right at me, was a long range rifle, held by none other than Jaejoong.

*Don't let me catch you*

The shock of seeing him made me freeze, and in that exact instant, a gunshot sounded as Jae pulled the trigger. A quick rush of air passed by my right ear, as Jaejoong miscalculated and shot the spot where I was. The tree bark exploded in a shower of shrapnel, making me duck. I looked up a second later to see Jae reloading, and wasted no time to get up and run the hell out of there.

Yoochun POV

My eyes were closed, resting although I was nowhere near sleep, when a gunshot made me sit up in shock.

.

I forgot Jaejoong was downstairs.

I shot out of bed, heading downstairs to see Jaejoong not on the couch, the TV still on. I grazed my fingers against the leather seat. It was still warm. I shot out the front door, just in time to see Changmin escape into the forest and Jaejoong fire a second shot in his direction.

, why did I think that this was a good idea?

I ran back into the house, shot up the stairs to run to Jaejoong's bedroom.

Man, Yunho was still asleep through all this noise?

I burst the bedroom door open, just in time to catch Jaejoong before he fired a third shot. Jaejoong looked up at me in surprise, his index finger still resting softly against trigger.

"Chunnie?" he prompted, confusion evident, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"What are you doing, Jaejoong?" I tactfully countered his question.

"I'm playing tag with Oppa, can't you see?" he explained, jutting the rifle in the direction of the forest. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Of course it was.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Oppa said he was going to run away, and I said that I would catch him." His answer was so painfully innocent I found myself holding a sigh.

"I don't think that's what he meant, Jaejoong," I explained, as I came forward to take the rifle from him. Jaejoong made a frown, but otherwise made no other move.

"Oh? What did he mean then?" he asked, looking up at me.

"What did Chunnie say about hurting your friends, Jae Jae?"

Immediately the frown on his face deepened. He knew he was going to get a scolding.

"What did I say?" I prodded gently, kneeling down to his height.

"It's not nice..."

"And...?"

"And it will scare them away..."

"And...?"

Jaejoong's lower lip jutted out in resentment.

"I shouldn't do it."

"And is Oppa your friend?"

At his silence, I poked his cheek gently.

"Jaejoong? Is Changmin your friend?"

Jaejoong nodded.

"But I didn't kill him, though!" he argued.

"Well that's good, I guess. But what do you have to do now?"

"Apologize!" Jaejoong answered immediately.

"Good. Because now I have to find Changmin."

********************

I stood outside in the snow, facing the forest. Because it had been snowing the night before, Changmin's footprints were pretty obvious. It was a plus side to a mostly negative situation. Changmin wasn't dressed for the cold, I doubted he had experienced being lost in a forest before, and it was night time.

My surgically-enhanced vision made it easier to follow the footprints despite the dark, and to add a bonus, I could smell blood. Droplets of fresh blood lay in the snow. I was hoping that was a sign that Changmin had stretched his stitches again rather than a wild animal attack, because honestly I wasn't prepared for that.

Once again, I stretched my senses, extending them even farther than normal. Changmin was weak, injured and sick. I had to get to him before anything else did.

Sounds that were whisper-soft seconds ago were now as loud as someone speaking at a normal range. Slowly, I dissected each noise, pushing out those irrelevant till one caught my attention. I tried to focus again.

Loud breathing, coughs every once in a while. I opened my eyes, and immediately everything softened in volume. I think I got him now.

I turned North-West, taking a few cautious steps forward. I counted my steps up till fifty seven, before I stopped and looked up the tree standing in my way.

"Changmin," I called softly. "It's alright now. It's me, Yoochun. You can come out now."

A few quiet seconds passed by, but I was confident Changmin was here. This was exactly where I calculated he would be.

I heard a rustle of leaves up in the branches, and slowly, Changmin emerged from his hiding place. Though his eyes were wide with shock, there was a sharp look in them that made me cautious. I could tell that Changmin was adapting very quickly to his surroundings, whether he realized it or not. I tried to calm him with a smile.

"Changmin. It's alright. You can come down."

Changmin's eyes focused on me, his blank face and calm demeanor surprising me. 

"Changmin," I called gently. "It's safe now. Come down."

****************

I walked calmly back towards the house, careful not to trip. Changmin rested his cheek against the crook of my neck, his warmth breath tickling me. Every once in a while, he would cough. I could tell he needed his medicine.

"Changmin, are you alright?" I had Changmin on my back, carrying him through the forest. His skinny twig-like legs around my waist, I had to wonder at how light he was despite his height.

I felt him nod, staying quiet as he rested from his exertion despite being unwell.

"You still have a fever. I can feel it through your clothes."

"Yeah," he answered weakly. "A bit."

His voice was shaky, as if he was trying to hold himself together, but was failing.

"Changmin, about what happened... I'm sorry. I was the one who left the door unlocked. I was hoping that you'd have the opportunity to escape. I hadn't foreseen that Jaejoong would be awake, and I knew of the dangers outside, but I thought you'd be able to take the risks. I honestly didn't foresee the danger Jaejoong might bring. When you said that you were running away, he mistook it as you challenging him to a game of tag. I'm sorry, Changmin. I only wanted to save you, but instead I almost got you killed."

Changmin was silent, his shaky breathing tickling my neck. "It doesn't matter," Changmin answered, "I'm going to be killed anyway."

I froze in my tracks, and Changmin coughed slightly. His words hung in the air, ominous and haunting.

"That's not a given," I answered him, my voice whisper soft.

"Is that so...?" Changmin wondered aloud, his voice as soft as mine, though his tone hinted no amusement.

"I'll fight for you, Changmin. Even if that means punishment, I will do it."

Changmin was silent, and I could feel his forehead against the nape of my neck.

"You barely know me," he answered. His voice was getting softer and softer, till it was a mere brush of air against my skin. "Don't. Don’t risk your life for me. I don't want any of you hurt because of me. Don't put yourself in danger."

"Changmin--"

"Yoochun hyung. Just don’t."

I was silent as I judged what he said carefully.

"Why?" I said.

"Maybe because there are some things you can’t run away from."

"Don't, Changmin. Things will get better."

"Do they always?"

I stayed silent, and began walking again.

*************

Changmin was asleep by the time I reached the house again, which honestly, wasn't that far of a journey. The exertion on his already frail body must have been massive. Jaejoong was there to open the door for me, a worried expression on his face.

"Oppa is okay?" he asked the moment I stepped through the door.

"Yeah. He's just asleep. Nothing external."

He let out a sigh of relief, placing a hand on his own cheek in relief.

"Can you help me open the door to his room? It would be best to put him on the bed."

"Oh! Yeah," Jaejoong nodded his understanding as he ran his way up the stairs. I followed closely from behind, and slowly placed him on the bed.

It looked like the escape plan was a no-go.

Jaejoong folded his hands on the bed, before resting his chin softly on top of them. His doe eyes were focused fully on Changmin's sleeping form.

"Jaejoong, you okay?"

He nodded.

"Something bothering you?"

Again, he nodded.

"What is it?"

"I want to apologize to Oppa. I wasn't very nice. Jae Jae should say sorry."

I smiled as I placed a hand atop his head.

"That's very nice of you, but Changmin's asleep now. Best we not disturb him. Why don't we let him rest first?"

Jaejoong nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, but I wanna stay here, with Oppa. I want to wait for him to wake up. So he can see me quickly." Jaejoong's lower lip jutted up as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. I realized that he was serious, and I found that adorable.

"Yes, but I have some stuff to attend to. Why don't you come with me? I could use some company."

"No," Jaejoong replied, emphasizing his answer by shaking his head. "I want to stay here with Oppa. Wait for him to wake up."

I bit my lip apprehensively. As adorable as he sounded, I wasn't about to let the two of them be in the same room alone.

"Alright then. I'll wait with you."

Changmin POV

I was drifting slowly between wake and sleep. Nearly my whole body ached, and there was a dull throb where I snagged my arm against a thorn vine. I was light-headed from fever, though my stomach growled with nausea and hunger. My throat itched for water, and the cold-hot feeling from the fever made me yearn for a bathe. For a while, I was confused. Where was I? This didn't feel like my bed. Though my eyes were heavy with sleep, I willed them open. It was tougher than it seemed. I was extremely tired. And I needed my medicine.

My eyes were finally able to crack themselves open. The sight that greeted me confused me slightly. A small child with the brightest black eyes and darkest raven hair stared straight back at me, a concerned look on his face.

"Oppa. Are you okay?"

Jaejoong. The one who tried to shoot me.

I blinked slowly. Before an answer escaped my lips, I let out a dry cough, the sensation grating my throat.

"Water!" he suddenly yelled as he stood. "I'll grab you some water!" And he ran out the room.

I closed my eyes. Staying awake seemed to be tiring. I felt a shift on the bed and I turned my head to open my eyes. Yoochun met my eyes with warm ones of his own.

"Hey. You feeling better? You were out like a light. It's nearly noon, you know that?"

The smile that reached his eyes slowly dropped as I made no move to reply.

"Changmin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act so casual." He moved to stand, facing me as he did so. "I'll get you some breakfast and a few pills to swallow. If you need me... well, I'll be here."

He retreated out the door, not closing it behind him this time.

Seconds later, Jaejoong ran in, a glass of water in his hand as promised.

"Here, Oppa! Water. Eh? Where'd Chunnie hyung go?" His head turned this way and that, before he merely shrugged and ran to my side, landing upon my bed with a loud thump. I had only just managed to sit up and rest my back against the headboard, before he jumped. I took the water from his outstretched hand, bringing the glass to my lips. As I drank, I noticed Jaejoong had his large eyes on me, staring shamelessly. It made me slightly nervous, and I lowered the glass slowly from my lips. He brought his legs up on the bed, bringing them close to his chest before he rested his chin on his kneecaps.

"Oppa, Jae Jae is sorry. For yesterday. It wasn't nice. I didn't know you weren't playing tag, so I shouldn't have taken out the gun. Jae Jae is sorry."

I didn't say anything, the rim of the glass still resting on my lips. Slowly, Jaejoong reached a hand out.

And placed it on my cheek.

His hand radiated warmth, something everything this place seemed to be lacking.

"Oppa is so pale," he hummed. "But your skin is so hot. A fever."

His hand gently travelled downwards, before it rested on my neck.

"Even here, it's warm. Too warm."

He leaned forward, placing his other hand on my neck as well.

"Too warm," he hummed to himself.

I suddenly felt his hands constrict violently, keeping me in a chokehold. Out of shock, I dropped the glass. It tumbled to the ground, shattering upon impact.

"Too warm," he said once more.

I grabbed on to his wrists, trying to pry them apart. He held a calm expression as he strangled me, his hands only getting tighter and tighter. I barely had the energy to struggle. Spots started appearing in my vision as I struggled against him.

"Changmin, I --" I heard Yoochun's voice as he entered. He probably saw us when he suddenly yelled "JAEJOONG!"

My vision was nearly totally wiped out when the hands choking my neck were suddenly grabbed away. I broke out in fits of coughing, inhaling air I suddenly received. I keeled over in my coughing fits, looking to my side to see Jaejoong in Yoochun' arms, his own arms crossed in an x shape across his chest in order to immobilized him.

He looked wildly confused, as if Yoochun had him in his arms for no reason whatsoever. Yoochun dragged him several steps back, further away from me.

"What were you *doing*?" Yoochun nearly yelled at him, as he spun the younger around by the shoulders.

Jaejoong stiffened in shock, becoming pale as he was yelled at. I had the feeling he wasn't used to it.

"You nearly killed Changmin. That's already twice in a day, Jaejoong."

Jaejoong made a long whining sound as he suddenly broke out in child-like sobbing, fat droplets of tears raining down his cheeks.

"I...I'm sorry! Oppa's skin was too hot, so Jae Jae wanted to make it cool again. Jae Jae didn't mean to hurt him... I'm sorry! Jae Jae sorry!"

Yoochun exhaled loudly, relaxing his shoulders as he placed both his hands against Jaejoong's cheeks.

"How were you planning to make him cool down by doing that?" he asked, voice considerably gentler and calmer now.

Jaejoong sobbed, wiping away his still-falling tears with his fists.

"I don't know... But corpses are always cold. So, Jae Jae thought... I thought..."

He suddenly stopped as he bawled again, sobs loud and pitiful.

I felt my skin crawl at the reason why he wanted to choke me. To cool me down? That was some flawed logic.

Yoochun suddenly closed his eyes in deep contemplation, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, you know that, right?”

Shyly, Jaejoong wiped his tears with his sleeves, and nodded, before Yoochun stooped down to give him another hug. Jaejoong suddenly turned to face me, eyes and nose red with fresh tearstains still on his cheeks.

"Oppa, Jae Jae is sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry..." He made a clumsy bow, a sign that he wasn't used to doing such a thing. Then, unexpectedly, he ran to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and hiding his face in my chest. The force of him landing against me knocked me against the headboard. I was too shocked to react.

"Jaejoong, enough. Come, you need to take your medicine.”

Jaejoong shook his head, his hair brushing against my neck.

"No! Jae Jae will stay here with Oppa. Jae Jae wants to stay here. Until Oppa says Jae Jae is a good boy and forgives me."

He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and I flinched. Truthfully I was already having difficulty breathing from lack of medicine, and he wasn't really helping. I coughed, the sound loud and dry.

"Jaejoong, please. Let Oppa have his rest. You've scared him enough."

Jaejoong suddenly looked up at me. He seemed to be searching for something in my eyes. I don't know what it was that he saw in them, but he suddenly let go and stood.

"You're right. Jae Jae will go watch some cartoons now."

He took a few steps back, away from me, before he turned and literally ran out the door. Yoochun watched him leave, before he hurriedly came towards me, inspecting my neck. His touches were gentle as they grazed my neck, but I still flinched in apprehension.

"Those are going to bruise. We should --"

"I'm fine," I interrupted him, turning away. "Superficial bruises. They'll heal."

Yoochun seemed to be stunned at my nonchalance, but I had endured worse abuse than this.

"Changmin," he gently called me, placing a hand on my chin to make me look at him. "I'm sorry. I really am. I'm just... sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" I murmured, barely interested.

"I'm sorry things are going this way for you. I'm sorry."

I stayed silent, Yoochun's hand still on my chin.

"It doesn't matter," I answered, pushing his hand away. "What's done is done, and can't be changed. Could you get me some painkillers? I have a headache."

Yoochun stared at me, unsure of whether to move or heed to my request. Finally, he nodded and stood. "I was going to get you some food anyway. Any preferences?"

"No," I answered. "None."

He nodded again. "I'll make something up real quick."

Then he was out the door, shutting it behind him. I coughed again, rubbing gingerly at my damaged throat. That really hurt. Jae's child-like face filled my mind. It was infinitely scary how calm he looked, as well as how he had assumed killing me could make better. How far along was his sickness? How bad was it that killing to him was like picking apples from a tree? I almost couldn't believe that the same boy who tried to kill me was the one who was adorable as he was at the cafe a few days back.

Despite it all, I felt pity for him grow. How disillusioned was he that he could barely distinguish morality and murder? I remembered how happy and hyper he was a few days back, how playful, and how Yoochun and Yunho looked at him with nothing but love and care.

And when Jaejoong had cried when he was yelled at, those were real tears. Real tears of a frightened child. He honestly had no idea that something was wrong with him.

I placed a gentle hand in the bruises on my neck. I had seen the extent of bodily damage on Jae's small form. Perhaps he was so used to others inflicting pain on him that he found inflicting pain on others normal. After all, it was normal for a child to blindly copy what others did.

And maybe him killing was an object of his environment being the state it was now. After all, didn't Yoochun say that the three of them were government assassins? Now that I thought of it, it all made perfect sense.

What a way to mold children, I thought to myself. It might be a logical reason why Yunho was as cold as he was. But Yoochun?

Yoochun displayed more empathy than normal, for someone regularly exposed to death and torture. Perhaps he wasn't born in this environment originally. I remember how he talked of his mother. He loved her.

Love. Maybe it was something they lacked?

But then again, love was something that tied them together. I knew just by assuming that they would break their backs for each other.

Perhaps the ones who needed to be saved was them, not me.

Stockholm's Syndrome, I thought wryly to myself.

A knock on my door made me look up. Yoochun hyung stood by the doorway, a tray of food in his hand. He smiled shyly at me.

"Hey, I, um... brought you some food. The painkillers are there too." Yoochun placed the tray on the bedside table, and straightened to leave. "If you need anything..."

"Stay."

"...Excuse me?"

"Stay," I repeated. "I need you to stay."

Yoochun stared at me, confused. "Okay..." He slowly took a seat at the far end of the bed, the end furthest from me. "Something up?" His question was cautious, almost fearful.

"Why are you here?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes.

Yoochun looked taken aback, not expecting the sudden question. "What do you mean? You told me to stay."

I shook my head. "No. Why are you here, where you are now."

Yoochun visibly flinched, uncomfortable with the sudden question.

"Why are you here, hyung, instead of somewhere else?"

The look in his face was one of pain, anguish, fear and grief all rolled into one. He didn't want to be here, I realized. But he had to.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitation.

Yoochun closed his eyes, as if thinking of whatever memories he had brought him physical pain. He exhaled loudly before opening them.

*I wasn't born Han Yoochun.

My real name is -was- Micky Park Yoochun. I was an American by race, Korean by face. I had a little brother. He was my best friend and meant the world to me. We went everywhere together. I still remember his name. His name was Ricky. Ricky Park Yoohwan.

He used to follow me everywhere, and I would act so pissed about it because I was a big boy, but I secretly loved it. I loved being his guardian. I loved sharing my food with him. I loved playing with him. I even loved getting into trouble with him. My parents were loaded people. My mom was a model and representative of the Korean Embassy of America. My dad was a business mogul. They were rarely home, but when they were, our family was perfect. Dad was perfect; strong, tall, huggable, and Mom was the most beautiful and caring women I'd ever met. Whenever we were out together, I always hoped that the moment would stay forever.

One day while we were driving on the highway, out for dinner, someone shot at the car. I remember the bullet going through my mom's head. She died instantly. Dad lost control of the car; it flipped, caught fire and then exploded. I was the only survivor.

Because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Weird, huh? The force of the flip threw me out the window and into the road. The car kept flipping, till it landed and caught fire. And then exploded. I was six. The ambulance came and took me away and honestly, it was all secrecy. There was no hooha despite who my parents were, where the bullet came from, or that we caused a massive pile-up on the highway.

Everything just disappeared.

And then at the hospital, a man came, he said his name was Kangta, and that I should come with him. He had a little girl holding his hand on the right, and a little boy holding his left. He said he could make me better, stronger, and I believed him. And then he brought me to the organization.

Life was tough. Training was crazy. I was so used to a life of luxury with my parents that I sort of expected it to be the same at the organization. But I was wrong. They would beat the soles of my feet if I walked too loudly, cane my back if I showed any signs of rebellion. I was put under the knife a few months after I entered. They cut me up, altered my body, changed my systems to suit their standards. It was to make me stronger, faster, more lethal.

I wasn’t used to it at first, so I thought it was living hell. I cried everyday for a week. Each time I cried, I was beaten. Each time I was beaten, I cried. The weird thing was that no matter how much I cried, or how much I loathed the place, I never thought to leave. I thought I was meant to be there. Weird, isn’t it?

Eventually, I got tired of crying and just rolled with it. I decided to just go along with what they wanted. After all, if it was for my greater good, then it would be worth it. I was later on partnered with the little boy Kangta brought to the hospital. That was Yunho. We became inseparable.

Yunho never talked much and he never smiled, but he protected me and loved me like a brother. It felt like family, and despite how I tried to avoid it, I came to depend more and more on Yunho. Then one day, we were given our first mission. I was eight. Yunho was ten. It was a simple mission really, spying on some men. But as night fell and we were returning home, I heard crying. It was a baby in a dumpster, covered with some angry red ants. I thought it was cute, so I brought it with me.

Big mistake, though. I was beaten halfway to death. But strangely though, we were allowed to keep the baby. Our Vice Head looked after him for about four years before the baby was handed over to the organization to be trained. That baby was Jaejoong.

Jaejoong showed signs of being...different from an early age. He would purposefully bite or scratch the doctors or nurses that would come near him and sometimes random bruises would appear on his body. Yunho grew so mad when he saw those bruises. Jaejoong was only four. It turned out Jaejoong was doing those things on himself, you know?

Progressively, he just got worse and worse, but the strange thing was, he never harmed us. He never hurt Yunho or I. When Jaejoong was six, he killed an attendant with a Rubik’s Cube. Beat her face to a bloody mess. Yet no matter what Jaejoong did, or how much of a threat he posed to us, I never hated him. I was never scared of him. I loved him, the same way I loved Yunho. Like family. Because they were the only two people I could depend on.*

I sat in silent shock and awe. I was frozen. I didn’t know what to say.

"I'm sorry," I said, as he finished his tale. Yoochun gave me a smile, forced and painful.

"What are you talking about? It's not like what happened is your fault."

I tilted my head to the side, wondering. "Don't you ever want to run away?"

Yoochun frowned. "No. Not really. This is my life, which has brought me to the point that I am now. Changing things... I might not even be the same person I am now."

"But what of a chance to run away? To be free?"

Yoochun shook his head. "Being free doesn't always equate happiness, Changmin. Though a chance at a normal life would be wonderful, perhaps it's not for me. I've already lived more than half my life here. I wouldn't know what to do outside on my own."

I frowned. I very obviously disagreed, but I saw no point in arguing. If this was how he wanted his life, then so be it.

Yoochun POV

I left Changmin to let him rest on his own, locking the door behind me this time. Maybe now just wasn’t the right time.

I felt weird telling him of my past. Not uncomfortable, just that maybe I wasn’t used to it. I had never told anyone of my past, mainly because I felt it was best to forget about it. But I had to admit, the lighter feeling I had in my chest now was undeniable. Though why he suddenly had an interest to know was beyond me. But I found that I didn’t mind. Maybe because it was Changmin, or maybe because I had been keeping the feeling in my chest for far too long.

I went back downstairs to fix another set of food, this time for Karam. I wondered if he was already up. I hadn’t checked on him for nearly the two whole days that he’s been here. Carrying the tray of food in one hand, I went back up the stairs to knock on his door. I knew I had no reason to knock since the door was already locked from the outside, but I figured a little chivalry never hurt.

I opened the door to see an empty room, before something came flying my way. With my free hand, I raised my hand to block it. It was too heavy to deflect, and hit my forearm pretty hard, making me stumble a bit. I felt someone run past me, brushing against me to run out the hallway.

Man, this pair of siblings were some fighters!

I placed the tray of food on the nearest heightened surface, before I chased after him. Karam was bounding down the stairs before I could even catch a glimpse of his face. Jaejoong was coming out the kitchen when Karam ran past him.

“Don’t worry, Jaejoong. I got this,” I said as I ran past him in turn, his eyes wide in frozen surprise.

Karam may be small and light, but I had years of fit training to make up for what I lacked. Quite unlike Changmin, Karam made no move to be quiet about his escape. Although a way they were similar was how Karam made way for the front door as well. He was out the door in a jiffy, making it a point to slam the door close behind him.

I had to admit, that was clever. I stalled for about a second to get out the door as well. That was enough to put a larger distance between us that I lost sight of him. Fortunately enough were the snow tracks he left behind. I followed them for a second before I realized that he had run into the garage.

Where all the vehicles were.

Damn, he didn’t know how to hijack a car, right?

I ran into the garage to see it empty. Or it seemed to be empty.

He was hiding.

Or trying to. Apparently, he had forgotten that his wet footprints were visible.

He was hiding beneath the Range Rover.

I walked calmly towards the car, making it a point to make my footsteps audible. I had no intention of scaring the out of him. I stood before the vehicle, knowing he could clear well see my feet. I slowly squatted to look beneath the car, seeing Karam staring back at me. His eyes were red and held tears of fright. He looked like a cornered animal Jaejoong wouldn’t hesitate to kill.

“Karam,” I tried to calm him. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

He scampered backwards to get away from me, getting out from under the car to escape the garage. Too late, I had already locked the door. He ran to the door as I had predicted, trying to open it but failing as he fiddled and pulled violently at the doorknob. He turned around to run, only to see me standing before him. He was cornered.

Maybe that wasn’t such a smart move. The fear in his eyes was enough to make me hesitate, as he backed away from me, pressing himself against the metal door, as if hoping he would suddenly go through it.

“Karam,” I said, putting both hands up in the air to show I meant no harm. “It’s okay.”

He suddenly slid to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his hands gripped his hair. He was shaking in fright, curled into the tight ball that he was. I lowered myself to his height, cautiously coming closer. He suddenly screamed in fear, lashing his legs out. One hit me in the jaw, making me see stars.

“Karam, stop!” I yelled, grabbing his ankles and pulling him towards me. That seemed to scare him even more as he screamed louder than ever, using his hands to attack me now. I was starting to get pissed at the constant onslaught, but fought to hold the feeling down. I used the same tactic I used to hold Jaejoong down, turning him around to cross his arms over his chest as I held him against mine. He continued screaming, but at least now he wouldn’t bring harm to neither me nor himself.

“Karam, please. Calm down. You have a fever as well as a gunshot wound on your shoulder. Too much exertion will only bring you harm. Calm down because I *won’t* hurt you. If you continue to struggle then I’ll only be forced to subdue you. So stop.”

Perhaps something hit homerun in his head, for he suddenly stopped. I cautiously let go, watching out for any sudden movement. He turned around to face me, fright still evident.

“Where’s my brother? He told me… he would protect me. Where’s my brother?” His voice was shaky, quivering in fear

It took me a while to realize that he was speaking Japanese. If I remembered correctly, Changmin had mentioned that his brother was originally from that country.

“He’s safe. He’s resting. Don’t worry,” I answered, thankful that Nine had made it a rule for Outposts to learn the language. “Karam, I won’t hurt you, I swear. But you know you won’t get far running away. So please.”

Looking into his eyes, I realized that Karam was just a kid. He might be eighteen, but his eyes retained the innocence one usually lost with age. And he was afraid. The way he looked at me, the threat of tears in his eyes.

“I’m a friend of your brother,” I said, the words spilling out of my mouth, “We go to the same university. You’re here for your own safety.” Effortless lies.

“Don’t lie to me. I saw you in my house, attacking my guards. You *killed* them. They were my friends.”

I gulped. What was I supposed to answer to that?

“Are you going to kill me, too?” he suddenly asked.

I blinked in surprise. “I would avoid it all at costs.”

He looked like he believed me. Honestly, I wasn’t lying all that much. At least I think so. He suddenly closed his eyes and fell forward. I caught him just in time, his fever burning through his clothes. Man, what was up with all these people and fevers?

“I feel dizzy,” he murmured.

“You would. You have a fever, and haven’t been eating.” I lifted him off the ground, holding him to my chest as I walked back to the house.

Jaejoong was standing by the door as I entered the house, a piece of candy in his mouth.

"Karam Onii-san," he said aloud, as soon as he saw us.

Karam looked up at his name being called and froze. I could see fear creep into his eyes. Jaejoong was the one who had chased after Karam back at the mansion. Perhaps Karam had seen Jaejoong's face and was able to identify it.

"Jaejoong san," he answered.

There was a silence between the two of them, heavy as the maintained unbroken eye contact.

"Jaejoong, help me bring Karam to his room?"

He blinked, looking up at me in surprise.

"Oh! Of course."

Jaejoong bounded up the stairs. I was confused at the conflict between them but decided to ask later.

As soon as I placed Karam on the bed however, Karam seemed to focus all on Jaejoong.

"It was you," Karam said aloud, facing Jaejoong. "You're the one who... who killed my guards. You're in the same class as me. You're younger than me. But you killed them."

Jaejoong stared emotionlessly back at him. "I didn't know you were his son. I didn't want to hurt Karam, but Jae Jae has to follow orders."

"I don't understand," Karam said in a whisper soft voice. "I thought you were my friend. I thought... we were friends."

His voice held all the pain and disappointment in the world, enough to make me flinch.

"We are friends," Jaejoong whispered back. "We are."

"あしでまとい," Karam answered. It was a Japanese idiom, and even though it wasn't aimed at me, I flinched. Ouch.

Ashi de matoi. A person who only brought burdens.

Jaejoong stood where he was, lips downcast in a frown. "I'm not a burden," he denied, lips quivering.

"Jaejoong, why don't you check up on Yunho? He's been asleep for a long time now. See if he's alright?"

Jaejoong looked like he was about to argue, before he nodded.

As soon as he left, I turned to look at Karam. I was tempted to give him an earful, but his anger was justified, so I couldn't really.

"Take off your shirt," I ordered.

"Excuse me?"

"Your shirt. Take it off. I need to see that bullet wound of yours."

Karam gave no argument, swiftly taking off the bloodied material. He'd been wearing the same shirt since the day of the ambush. I should probably give him a new shirt.

The wound on his shoulder was healing along nicely, since he'd been knocked out most of the time. I quickly dressed the wound, happy that there was no bleeding whatsoever.

"Get rid of your shirt. It's dirty. I'll get you a new one."

I stood to leave, but Karam's question held me back.

"How much is the ransom?" His question was timid, his voice soft and hesitant.

I turned to face him, a frown on my face.

"I want to go home. Changmin Onii-chan needs his medicine. And Siwon sama will be worried. When can I go home?"

I was silent. How was I supposed to answer?

"Maybe soon. We're trying."

"Trying? What are you trying for?"

I gulped, fumbling internally as I realized I let something slip.

"You need to rest, Karam. The food is on the tray. Please feel free to eat if you want." I turned to leave once more, shutting the door behind me as I did so. I sighed as I leaned against the door. For some reason this wasn't getting any easier. Jaejoong suddenly came out of nowhere and hugged me around the waist, leaning his head against my chest.

"I'm not a burden... am I?"

I wrapped my arms around his small form, stooping slightly because of his small height.

"Of course not. You're not a burden. You're never a burden. Never think that."

He nodded, suddenly raising his hands, asking to be carried. I heeded to his request, feeling his small weight as he rested against my shoulder.

"Have you taken your medicine?" I asked as I headed downstairs. I felt him nod. "You must be tired. Do you want to rest?"

"Later," he answered. "Can we have breakfast first, Chunnie hyung?"

Despite already being way past noon, I found myself nodding as I grinned at his cuteness.

"Of course we can! So what's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes!" he squealed, immediately straightening to give me a twinkling smile.

Yunho POV

I woke up incredibly late, hours after the usual time I was used to waking up. Glancing at the clock docked up on the wall, the time showed that it was way past noon, nearing evening really. I knew that I had many things to do, but I didn't move. Whatever it was, it could wait.

I slowly got up, suddenly feeling like I had a hangover although I've never consumed an ounce of alcohol in my life. Whatever that device Kangta used on me, my body wasn't reacting very well to it. I stood with weak legs, only to drop on all fours with a loud thump when the world spun.

Even on all fours, I found myself progressively weakening, till I could support myself no longer and fell on my back to lie on the floor. I stared up at the ceiling, silently fuming. I wasn't used to feeling so weak, and from years of experience, physical weakness was only going to get you killed.

I got up, waited for the world to stop spinning, before making my way downstairs. My legs were feeling a tad wobbly and my chest burned to an AED voltage that was set way too high. As I made my way downstairs, a headache I hadn't noticed from before suddenly attacked, making me stop and just hold on to my head. In all honesty, it felt like it was about to fall off.

I headed towards the kitchen, careful to not tumble down the stairs or bump into things.

As I entered the kitchen, I was greeted with a sight of Yoochun cooking near the stove, and Jaejoong sitting on the counter beside him, both concentrating on what Yoochun was making. The two of them looked up at my presence. I saw them smile, and I took a step forward to join them.

The world suddenly tilted to the side as I did so, making me fall forward, face first, towards the floor.

"Yunho!" I heard Yoochun yell as he dove forward, catching me right before I hit the ground. I closed my eyes. The world was spinning too rapidly for me to focus. I felt myself going limp, and Jaejoong come to my side, shaking me hysterically as I fought to regain consciousness.

"Yunnie? Yunnie, what's wrong?"

I forced my eyes open and sat up, not even realizing that Yoochun had slid to the ground in a sitting position while he held me, only to keel over once more. Yoochun caught me again and let me lean against him. His hand rose to rest against my forehead.

"I can't believe it," I heard him say in utter wonder. "Yunho, you have a fever."

Was that how it felt like? I never knew. I've never had a fever before.

"Don't be ridiculous," I uttered as I moved to stand, only to be pulled back down by Yoochun, landing on the floor once more.

"Yes you do!" he argued. "Your forehead is piping hot. And you can barely stand!"

I coughed once, and already Yoochun was upon me.

"See? You're coughing! *Coughing*!" he practically screamed.

I didn't really want to believe him, but now that he had said it, I did feel quite woozy.

"I'm fine," I assured him as I moved to stand, only to have the world fall to complete darkness soon after.

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