9. WE

// when i can't remember us, the feeling of broken is painfully real and i'm not fine at all//

Kim Myungsoo has refused to leave his computer screen for some reasons, apparently. First, Byunghun won’t stop stealing glance at him like a mad man and Myungsoo pretty sure that he woke up this morning looking just fine. Thus, he ended up concluding that his colleague is just plain weird. Second, he did something good. Myungsoo thought it was good, but the thing is, Myungsoo was pretty sure if Woohyun was there, he would absolutely nag and call Myungsoo dumb, so Myungsoo still can’t decide whether coming very early to the office to leave a breakfast for Saerin on her desk is the best thing to do, or worst. Myungsoo is afraid of reaction, simply because it could be bad or it could be worse. Expecting a good reaction was too much apparently for Myungsoo. Maybe it was right to do or maybe it was stupid to do so. But, then again, they said little things work like magic, little things are exceptional but simple and in the same time, they could be the most moving. Myungsoo used to know Saerin the best after all, so what could be so wrong about buying her a little treat of her favorite ice latte from the coffee shop near their old apartment? Myungsoo remembers, and he felt like instead of hating himself, he should probably start to make an actual move so the memories that have come back aren’t wasted. Myungsoo wants to fix this; he wants that everything to be not so messy, he wants to go back to the way he used to live before and he wants to feel that feeling again, that feeling of her warmth. His friends literally nagged him all night, giving Myungsoo their best reason why Myungsoo shouldn’t act this fast and the fact that it would scare the hell out of Park Saerin. Myungsoo couldn’t be more careless about other’s opinions right now, he only knows one thing and that one thing is Kim Myungsoo wants Park Saerin back.

Myungsoo was too focused on editing his article that he didn’t realize Park Saerin was entering the editorial office. Saerin looked calm, despite the big fuss that happened yesterday, she needs to stay professional. Saerin left Myungsoo just like that when Myungsoo confessed that he can’t remember why. Rather than bloody angry, Saerin was rather disappointed. Myungsoo can’t remember the reason why in the world did he cheat, but what’s new? Kim Myungsoo doesn’t even remember who Saerin truly is until yesterday. Saerin sighed before she pushed the door of her office as she was staring at a paper bag on her desk when she closed the door. Saerin raised her eyebrow at first, but soon she the confused face turned bitter, when she found a cup of ice latte and two slices of tuna sandwich, plus a slice of lemon meringue pie and Saerin know exactly where to get those. They still smelled the same like the good old times, like back when Saerin used to visit the shop 5 years ago. On the top of that, Saerin knows there is only one person who knows her all time favorite kind of breakfast. “Daebak, he does remember every damn thing,” Saerin muttered as she found her way to her work chair. At time like this, Saerin wish that Myungsoo was still have the stupid amnesia, because he left her confuse and not knowing what to do.

Suddenly, someone barged into her office. “Miss Park, are you looking for me?”. Saerin was too shocked when she saw a certain Kim Myungsoo just come into her work room without any notice. “What?” Saerin managed to maintain not to squeak; at least that is one good thing. “Byunghun said that you told him that you want to see me?” Myungsoo said as he closed the door. “No, I did not,” Saerin said, fortunately she has got her stern voice back. “Oh, okay, maybe I misheard things, I’m sorry to disturb your time, Miss Park,” Myungsoo bowed before he took a step to the door. “Myungsoo,” Saerin called him out. “Thank you for the breakfast,” Saerin continued and Myungsoo automatically turned his body to Saerin’s direction. Myungsoo titled his head in confusion when he didn’t find the warm smile; instead Saerin was giving him a flat, unimpressed look. “But you can take it away,” Saerin finally said. “What? You don’t like the menu?” Myungsoo slightly raised his brow, questioning his own memories. “Nothing is wrong with the menu, it’s perfectly fine, it’s just me,” Saerin replied. “What? What about you? You changed your favorite already?” Myungsoo said as he got closer to Saerin’s desk. “Nothing changes. It stills my favorite. It’s just me who failed to figure out your intention by leaving these foods, so I can’t take it,” Saerin said flatly, too flat that Myungsoo suddenly feel even more frustrated. “You failed to figure my intention? You failed?” Myungsoo replayed Saerin’s word as he raised his voice. “What do you want, Myungsoo?” Saerin glared at him. “Are you doing this because you want forgiveness? Fine, I have forgiven you, Myungsoo, I swear. I came back here because I am ready to move on and to forgive you, no need to act all kind, no need to buy me foods,” Saerin gritted her teeth. “No need to treat me like I’m your freaking princess,” Saerin hissed. “I don’t want your forgiveness, Park Saerin. I want more than that,” Myungsoo retorted.

“Don’t say it,” Saerin suddenly snapped. “I want you back, there, I have said it,” Myungsoo said. “In case you fail again to notice my actions, Miss Park, here is the reason why I’m treating you like a princess, because I want you back,” Myungsoo muttered. “Myungsoo, shut your imagination down. You cheated, and you didn’t even have a decency to tell me at least why, you are being irrational,” Saerin replied. “It was because I can’t remember, damn it, Saerin,” Myungsoo raised his voice, again. “And you want me to believe-” “Yes, I need you to believe that,” Myungsoo yelled as he grabbed both Saerin’s arms. “Will you also refuse to believe if I told you that in some ways, I still love you?” Myungsoo sighed. “I will punch your face if you ever dare to say those words to me again,” Saerin retorted. “Do you hate me then?” Myungsoo said as he stared at the latter’s eyes. Saerin answered him with a glare as if it was enough answer for him. “I’ve violated your feeling that deep, haven’t I?” Myungsoo released his grip and smiled bitterly. “Done something unthinkable, something messy,” Myungsoo continued as his voice got weaker. “You made me stronger, I think you should know that,” Saerin sighed. “I know, I can see, I remember the old you, Saerin,” Myungsoo broke another bitter smile. “I don’t know when will you accept me again, but I won’t twist you anymore. I can’t tell you everything right now, yet, I just wish you are still here when I can,” Myungsoo added before he left the office.

---

“Lee Sungyeol, please,” Myungsoo showed the doctor his best puppy eyes but failed miserably as Sungyeol stared him, disgustingly. “Dude, this is going to work, you have to have faith in us more,” Sungyeol tapped his shoulder with somehow, a pity eyes. “What if it’s not? Look, this is like a game of dead or dead,” Myungsoo said. “Geez, what kind of game is that when you can’t even stay alive?” Sungyeol raised his brow. “I can’t do this. I haven’t even seen her since I am not an amnesia idiot anymore,” Myungsoo responded. “She is still your freaking girlfriend for the love of goddesses, Kim Myungsoo. You have to see her whether you like it or not,” Sungyeol shrugged. “Yes, but I am freaking out right now, she is literally the one who make me, a mess,” Myungsoo sighed. “Hey, no one told you to date a from the first place, or getting involve with one,” Sungyeol shrugged, again, and this time, he got a punch from Myungsoo on his shoulder. “It’s not like I want it,” Myungsoo hissed. Suddenly, Sungyeol’s phone ringed. “What?” Sungyeol put the phone on loudspeaker as soon as he saw the caller ID. “Where the hell is Myungsoo? Look, I am acting like I’m a stalker and it’s getting weirder, watching someone like this and tell Myungsoo that the beach of his girlfriend is not looking good, she looked like she is ready to blow this restaurant up, so please, for Pete’s sake, get Kim Myungsoo’s damn right here right now before she explode, thank you very much,” Hoya ranted in a low voice through the phone. “Well, you can try getting his out from the damn car because he is acting all whiney and decided to back out, what a coward,” Sungyeol replied. “Well, thank you all for the compliments, in case you don’t know how nervous I am right now, I am terrified,” Myungsoo hissed. “Dude, you can’t just back out when we are all up all night setting this plan, this is the only way you will get the answer. Now get out from the car before I tell Sunggyu hyung, who is in front of me and looking grumpy as hell because you haven’t come yet, that his dongsaeng is acting like a baby and may he kill you with his endless grandpa nags,” Hoya blabbered, still with his low voice, again. “Okay, fine, don’t tell Sunggyu hyung, I’m coming out,” Myungsoo said before he opened the door. Myungsoo was taking a step closer to the restaurant when he can already see a certain women figure, back-facing him. Myungsoo checked his clothes once again; he was looking extra fine today. How can he not, though, he is having a lunch date with his girlfriend.

Myungsoo entered the restaurant, giving the look when he saw Hoya, Dongwoo, Sunggyu and Woohyun sitting at one table quite far from where his girlfriend is and then he went straight up to Hyeri’s table. “You took so long that I almost went home,” Hyeri pouted. “Traffic, Hyeri-ah, it’s getting worse lately,” Myungsoo given her the best smile he could afford. “The restaurant is quite crowded, isn’t it? Thank goddess that I reserved on the first hand,” Myungsoo said. “Yeah, it’s been awhile since we went on a date,” Hyeri said, the pout still lingering on her face. “Where have you been? You don’t even answer my calls. Don’t tell me you have been spending time with Park Saerin, that ,” Hyeri hissed. “For the nth time, Hyeri, she is my boss,” Myungsoo sighed. “