"Sorry sorry sorry sorry" Lilly's ringtone startled her awake. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep, much less that she'd been using Heechul's shoulder as a pillow and drooling. Last she remembered, they'd been watching a movie. Her friend just smiled at her as she wiped and blushed before answering her phone, fumbling a little in her embarassment.

  "Hey Penguin! How's hillbilly country? You and Shroomie haven't been arrested have you? I can't come bail you out. Someone needs me here." Lilly listened to the response. "You two, innocent? My fluffy white backside. Did you find a nice scruffy guy to get all sweaty with? Hey, gonna put you on speaker. You'll never guess who I met and have been spending most of my time with! Heechul. Yeah, one of my pretty boys. The one that looks like a girl. No, not him, the older one. It's a long story." She tapped the speaker button and set the phone on the bed next to Heechul. "Can you hear me?"

  "Yes Devil Spawn, I can. Now, why do you have a pretty boy? Did you order him from Craig's List? Or have you finally cracked and escaped into a fantasy while I've been gone?" The woman on the other end sounded older, amused, and extremely stoned. Heechul couldn't follow the whole conversation, but he gathered this woman was close to his friend. 

  "I want fantasy, I've got Shroomie for that. No, this actually happened. One of those "only DS" moments. I don't know if he wants me to share or not, but you and Bob could at least say hello. You didn't kill Shroom and dump her in the swamp did you?"

  "I call shenanigans! Also, no I didn't. She's with Bob."

  Heechul broke in. "Ma'am, Lilly really does have me. She found me after my kidnapper flipped his truck." His words were slow but fairly clear, though he did look at Lilly to make sure he used flipped properly. She nodded.

  "WHAT!?!"

  "Tolja, only me madam Penguin."

  Another voice broke in, this one with a heavy Southern accent. "You kidnapped a flipped truck? What? Hey Devil Spawn! How are ya?"

  "Not exactly. Hello you y Shroom you. Y'all havin fun?"

  "Penguin is. She's the only one gettin and sweaty. Found a hot pool boy. You shoulda come with her. Then we could all get ."

  "Ew, don't need to picture Penguin .You on the other hand..." Heechul looked confused, amused, and slightly shocked as he listened to his friend flirt with the Southern woman, who sounded younger but just as stoned. He'd never heard Lilly talk like that before. He didn't catch a lot of the conversation, but he understood enough to notice his sweet friend had a rather filthy side to her.

  "Oi Shroomie! You haven't said hi to my new friend yet. Shroom, Heechul, one of my pretty Koreans. It's a long story. Heechul, my cyber girlfriend Shroom. I'll explain later."

  "Hi Pretty Korean!" The Southern voice sounded amused.

  "Hello, Shroom is it?"

  "Hey Devil Spawn! We're gonna go try to get arrested. We'll talk to ya later."

  "Bye Bye Shroomie and Penguin. Pictures or it didn't happen." Lilly hung up and faced a very confused looking Heechul.

  "Um, they're going to get arrested? Who are they? You have a girlfriend? Their names are Penguin and Shroom?"

  "Caught that much, huh? No, they aren't really going to get arrested. It's an old joke. She's not actually my girlfriend either. It's another joke. I might be heteroflexible, but she's married, and several states away." Heechul looked confused again.

  "What's that?"

  "I'm mostly straight, but I'll admit once or twice a woman has caught my eye." Heechul nodded.

  "Their nicknames are Penguin and Shroom. Anemone and Reba really. Penguin won big at bingo so went to go visit Shroom in Arkansas for a couple months." Once again Heechul looked confused, so Lilly explained what Bingo was, where Arkansas was, and that Penguin lived in Michigan like she did. "Penguin's son is one of my best friends, but I'm not currently speaking to him since he keeps going back to his serial cheating asshat of a boyfriend." She stopped and explained again.

  Lilly's phone chirped with a text message. As soon as she opened it, she started laughing. "Apparently Penguin really did find a playmate. Tall, scruffy, lots of muscles, half her age. She sent a picture. Not my type, but to each their own. I will admit, I have weird friends."

  Heechul asked, "So does that mean I'm weird too?"

  "You silly boy are delightfully unique. Sorry for drooling on you  earlier. Now, do you want ice cream, or to keep fishing for compliments?"

  "Why can't I have both?"

  Lilly laughed and went to go find them ice cream sandwiches.

  The two weren't however joking and laughing a couple mornings later when they came to get Heechul for his surgery. He clung to Lilly's hand as tightly as he could all the way down and while he was being prepped.

  "From what I understand, it's similar to what you had before, so I wouldn't worry too much."

  "It's still scary. Will you be there when I wake up?"

  "Like you could get rid of me silly boy. As soon as they let me see you, I'm there. Aren't you sick of me yet?"

  Heechul smiled. "Never, Umma."

  "Aish, I told you not to Umma me! I never had a son like you!"

  Their laughter helped dispell some of the nervousness they both felt. Though the surgery wasn't a particularly difficult one, and the surgeon, who they'd met several times, didn't "have his head up his backside" as Lilly put it, it was still surgery and there were always risks, no matter how small.

  Finally, they came to get Heechul. Lilly kissed his forehead and tried to smile. "See you later silly boy."

  "Bye Bye Umma." Heechul grinned as cheekily as he could, considering how drugged up he already was.

  "I told you not to Umma me! See if they can remove your sass while you're in there."

  "You told me to be sassy. Remember, Umma?"

  "Don't make me smack you!" As light as her tone was as they were wheeling Heechul away, as soon as Lilly sat down in the surgical waiting room, she burst into tears.

A/N- Yeah, Lilly's friends are actually based on two friends of mine, who I really do call Penguin and Shroomie, and who are the ones who named me Kitty-Elf. I promised them they'd feature in a fic of mine sometime, and it seemed like a good place for Heechul to understand Lilly a bit better. Penguin just asked that she have an unlimited bank account and that she got laid. Let's hope her toy was lots of fun for her fictional self.