EVIDENCE

Every time he went into an airport, Jaejoong thought there was no way more people would come than the last time, and he was always proven wrong. On this particular occasion, the airport was so packed that the airport security was having a near impossible time holding the flood of fans back, and Jaejoong couldn’t even hear their shouted warnings over their screams. It didn’t bother him though, since Yunho’s hand always found a way to firmly grasp his waist and guide him through the crowds safely. He didn’t know how Yunho did it, but the fans were always careful to back away when he passed; he didn’t put on the same frightening face he did when he was angry, but he looked stern enough when they didn’t keep a respectful distance that they quickly backed up as soon as they saw his face.

I am in love with the greatest person on this earth, he thought, a little smugly, as Yunho’s hand brushed against his waist. My ears could be screamed off right now and I wouldn’t even notice.

“Our fans have very healthy lungs,” Changmin commented as they finally broke through the crowd and made it to security.  He glanced at Jaejoong. “Any reason why you’re smiling like your mouth’s about to fall off?”

“No reason,” Jaejoong said, poking Changmin’s cheek. “Any reason why you aren’t?”

“I spent all my smiles on the fans, I don’t have anything for you.” His eyes strayed to Jaejoong’s shoulder. “You weren’t planning on carrying on a bag?”

“I am-" Jaejoong froze. Now that Changmin mentioned it, he wasn’t carrying his bag. Had he left it back in his room? Or was it in the car? He tried to remember if he’d had it in hand when he’d walked into the airport, but the chaos had erupted so quickly that he couldn’t remember.

“Hyung,” he said, jogging over to Yongsoo. “Can you send someone back to check the car for my bag? Or call the driver? I think I left it.”

Yongoo sighed. “Do you need it? You know that we can’t risk missing this flight.”

“My cell phone is in there. Please, hyung.”

“Fine, fine.” Yongsoo pulled out his cell phone and punched in a number. “Hello? Did one of the boys leave a bag in the van? Middle seat? No?”  Yongsoo lowered his phone. “He says it’s not there.”

“Did I leave it in the apartment, then?”

“Hyung,” Yoochun said, popping over. “You had it in the van with you. If you can’t find it, you probably lost it walking through the terminal.”

Yongsoo’s expression tensed.  “You say you have your cell phone in your bag? That isn’t good, Jaejoong ah. If someone gets ahold of that and finds out your password, you’re giving them free access to the numbers of everyone in DBSK, Starkiss, and BPM, not to mention all of your other friends and contacts.”

“Can’t you put out an alert over the loudspeaker, hyung?” Yoochun asked.

“If anyone has any inkling that a DBSK member was the one to lose the bag, there will be a field day out there. And let me guarantee it, unless that bag fell into the hands of a saint, whoever has it probably won’t be interested in giving it back.”

Jaejoong’s face paled. He didn’t particularly care about his labelmates’ phone numbers—they could all get them changed if need be—but he did, on the other hand, very much care about someone going through his text messages, and even worse, his camera. He had a habit of taking pictures of s doing pretty much anything—including when they were doing their wardrobe changes or taking a shower—so if that got out, he didn’t want to think about what the consequences would be for them. Yunho in particular… he racked his brain. He hadn’t taken a bedroom shot of them in awhile, had he? Still, there was probably an older one in there somewhere.   Oh god, what if their fans saw pictures of Yunho completely on their shared bed with suspiciously rumpled hair? How would he explain that one? Oh, sleeping together is absolutely nothing between the members at this point?

“I need my bag back,” he said, hollowly. “Now.”

“We’ll send someone from security out,” Yongsoo said.

“What’s wrong?” Junsu asked, trotting up to them with Yunho in tow. “Is there going to be an issue with security?”

“No, there’s going to be an issue with our security,” Jaejoong sniffed. “My bag is stolen.”

Yunho paled right away. “Including your phone?”

Jaejoong nodded.

“Oh .”

“I know.” He pursed his lips. “What if the person who took it isn’t even still out there? I know the fans tend to hang around for a while, but if it were me, I’d run right away so I wouldn’t get caught.”

“That’s a possibility…” Yongsoo said, frowning.

“I need to go back out there.”

“Would you like to be mobbed and potentially injured?” Yongsoo protested right as Yunho snapped, “Not a chance!”

“What, you’re okay with certain pictures getting out?” Jaejoong asked Yunho.

“No, but I’d rather you not just offer yourself in front of people who want to throw themselves on you. What would be the point of you taking care of it? It’ll be safer if it’s security.”

“Because I know what my bag looks like.”

“Give the description to security, then.”

“And they’d be more likely to give it back if I were asking.”

“…they’d be more likely to jump you, you mean.”

“Well, what can security do?” Jaejoong asked, torn between wanting to scream and cry. “Demand to search everyone who leaves the building? There are hundreds of people here, and most of them already went through security checkpoints once and don’t want to be searched again. And what do they care if a couple of idols get into a scandal?” He reached down and grabbed Yunho’s cell phone out of his hands. “I’m calling my number.”

“Jae—”

Jaejoong didn’t wait for him to finish before hitting his own number on Yunho’s speed dial. Whoever had his phone would see the “my lovely Yunho” marker, but better that than anything else.

It took a moment, but someone finally answered. “Aigoo, aigoo, what do I do?” a young girl’s voice asked, clearly panicking. “Y-Y-Yunho oppa?”

“Not quite,” Jaejoong answered. “I believe you have something of mine?”

“Jaejoong oppa!” the girl screamed. “Oh, um. It was an accident, I swear. I-I-I was just going over to the lost-and-found to return it, I promise! Don’t arrest me!”

“Never mind that. Where are you right now?”

“I’m near the luggage carousel. Wait-” Her voice got a note higher. “A-are you coming to get it?”

Jaejoong paused. If he said he was sending security over instead, there was a chance she might bolt. If she thought he was coming, there was a much higher chance she would actually stay. Having an idol’s bag was an accomplishment, of course, but getting to meet him had to be better from a fan’s perspective.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do. If you’re with friends, send them away. I will meet with you and only you, all right? When I come, don’t make a fuss and alert other people, and I will definitely make sure you don’t get in trouble with security, all right? Do you think you can do that?”

“Y-Yes,  I will. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“Just stay where you are,” Jaejoong said carefully, and as a second thought added, “stay on the line with me until I get there.”

“Okay. Um… omo, what should I say?”

Jaejoong didn’t say anything, instead grabbing Changmin’s face mask and securing it over his own face and shoving his hair into an oversized beanie.

“You’re seriously going?” Yongsoo asked in alarm. “At least let me get your bodyguard.”

“He can follow at a distance,” Jaejoong said, muting his phone for a second. “I don’t want to scare her off.”

“I’m coming with you,” Yunho insisted, shoving a hat over his own hair.

“No, it’s already enough that Jaejoong is going, not you, too.” Yongsoo groaned. “I’ll go.”

“If it’s Jaejoong, I’m more than adequate for looking after him. Besides I… I’m responsible for what’s on his phone, too.”

Yongsoo looked on the verge of protesting, but before he could, Yunho grabbed Jaejoong’s arm and pulled him back out into the terminal right behind a group of other travelers lugging huge racks to give them a bit of cover.

“I don’t know why I’m letting you do this,” Yunho muttered. The terminal had emptied out a little, but there were still some people with posters and cameras lingering, chatting amongst themselves. “You know, I think I’d almost rather risk all of Korea seeing me than having you get attacked.”

“That’s not the only thing you’d risk having them see or know. You know that.”

“I know.” Yunho said grimly. “Have you ever thought about maybe not taking those kinds of pictures?”

“I will now. But it’s something I have a hard time resisting.”

“Why? You see me enough without having to take photographic evidence.”

“I know, but…” He bit his lip. “I have these moments where I think it might be a crazy dream, so I kind of like to look at the pictures sometimes just to confirm that I’m as lucky as I think I am.”

Yunho looked at him oddly. “Still?”

“Not often,” Jaejoong said quickly. “But yes, sometimes.”

Yunho sighed and shook his head, but didn’t say anything else. A group of fans were turning toward them, so they had to occupy themselves in ducking behind a luggage rack so they wouldn’t be spotted. Jaejoong smacked himself a little bit mentally. He hadn’t explained himself to Yunho correctly at all. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe that the good fortune of his life was real, just that he wanted to have all the evidence of it on hand, even if he couldn’t show it, just so he always had the proof with him that he was loved by the person he loved in spite of what the world thought.

Jaejoong unmuted his phone as they neared the baggage carousel. “Are you waiting for us?”

“Us? Who is us? You brought security?” She sounded like she was panicking again.

“Us is Yunho. I am using his phone to call you, after all.”

“Omo!” she screamed. “Oppa, too? Oh, what should I do?”

“Keep calm,” Jaejoong suggested. “As I said, you can’t alert everyone to us being there. For security reasons, I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course. I’ll be quiet.”

Jaejoong scanned the crowd and spotted a girl holding his bag tightly in her hands. He sighed in relief. “Okay, I see you. Stay right where you are, and remember-"

“No screaming, I promise.”

They approached her quietly, and though she looked on the verge of a panic attack, the girl, as promised, didn’t scream.  “Oppa,” she said shakily. “I didn’t mean to take it, I promise.”

“It’s all right,” Jaejoong said, hanging up Yunho’s phone. He thought about what else was in the bag—a few books for the plane ride, a sweater, and a bag of candy as a snack—nothing else that would matter if she saw it. “Could you hand me my phone please?”

As soon as she did, he tucked it safely in his pocket. Thank god.

“And as for the bag… for holding on to it carefully, would you like something signed by us?” He nudged Yunho. “We’ll be happy to.”

“Oh, can I?” she squeaked. She her notebook forward, and the two of them took a pen and signed it. As soon as they had returned it to her, she happily handed Jaejoong’s bag back to him.

“Thank you very much,” Yunho said politely. “Next time, not that this will happen again, please hand it to security right away to save Jaejoong ah the worry, okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly.

Just as Yunho and Jaejoong were turning to go back to security again, she raised her voice. “O-oppa!”

Jaejoong turned his head.

“If I had seen something… I definitely wouldn’t have told anyone, oppa. I just want to know you're all right."

He smiled at her. "Of course I'm all right."

"I mean... I meant both of you..."

Jaejoong lifted his hand and placed it over his lips. "That," he said softly, winking at her, "is a secret."

0o0

Once they were safely in the airplane, Jaejoong pulled out his phone and started flipping through the pictures he could have potentially gotten busted for. Yunho watched over his shoulder. "Wait, when did you take that one?" he asked, pointing to a shot of himself sitting up in bed with his eyes half open.

"You were sleeping."

"...oh. I really look that weird when I'm sleeping like that, huh?"

"That's why I took it. As evidence."

"When would you need evidence?"

"Variety shows...."

"And when would you need evidence of my private parts?"

"Um... on lonely nights?"

"And evidence of Junsu's ?"

"...."

"You guys are looking at of Junsu?" Yoochun asked, peeking over the seat. "Don't keep it to yourself!"

"Yah!" Junsu yelled, hitting him on the arm. "Hyung, why do you need those kinds of pictures? And can you please not take them on a camera you take out of the house with you?"

"But it's my hobby," Jaejoong groaned.

"Your hobby almost screwed all of us over! And your boyfriend most of all, don't you care about that?"

"Yes," Jaejoong said sighing. "I'll delete them, okay? ... as soon as I save them to my computer."

"Which might be the next casualty of a sasaeng break in..."

"I'll protect that computer with my life."

Yunho leaned his head against Jaejoong's shoulder. "I don't think I'll ever understand why you need so much evidence of what's right in front of you. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Jaejoong said softly. "But I can't stop wanting to carry you with me anyways."

0o0

Words cannot fully convey what I want to express. 
The evidence of our existence in this very place, 
within this world that has started to fall apart, 
just how much can my singing deliver it?

Both for me, who believes it cannot be found and am giving up, 
and for you, who comforts me by saying that it can be found, 
the meaning of life does not change or vary.

If this melody, on the brink of dissipating, 
could weave out just one unwavering memory, 
then it will no longer matter if everything I've come to believe in 
should turn out to be untrue.

In this world on the brink of crumbling, 
if I could seek out just one sure answer, 
then even I, having gone through so much in the past, 
will surely be able to begin forgiving others with a smile