A/N: Another update :D Hope you all had a fun Jaejoong bday-Yunjae Day-Yunho Bday last week. Our Changmin's birthday is coming up soon, too!

I'm also thinking about doing another Yunjae blog, so stay tuned for that as well~~~~

WHO'S TO SAY

Jaejoong had written “Do Not Panic” on top of his to-do list, but he was 100% sure that he was already starting to panic. Was that iffy smell the bulgogi burning, or was he hallucinating again? He glanced on top of the grill, but the meat seemed to be cooking just fine. Had he remembered to set out the songpyeon? He whirled around to look at the table he'd set earlier, and there they were right where he'd put them earlier, painstakingly formed into perfect half-moons that no one would be able to find fault with.

Breathe, Kim Jaejoong, he told himself. You're doing just fine. You can do this. This is going to be the best Chuseok meal they've ever eaten, and by time they finish, they're going to be begging you to marry their son.

Still, he was beginning to question his and Yunho's decision to invite both their families to their apartment for Chuseok. You were supposed to go to the family home for the holiday, not bring the family to you. You were supposed to give way for the family matriarch to worry about how delicious the songpyeon looked, not take on the task of cooking the entire meal yourself because your boyfriend was a useless cook and inviting your own mother to help would be conceding you couldn't do it alone. So he had done it alone, and he thought he'd done a pretty good job of it, though internally he kept imagining Yunho's mother turning up her nose at something he'd done. Maybe he'd decorated the table improperly or hadn't bought enough fruits to go around. The thought that there was even the smallest mistake in the apartment made his brain go haywire.

Yunho popped into the room, already dressed in a pretty sky blue hanbok. Jaejoong whirled around. “Is the bedroom clean, Yun-ah?”

“Yeah, I cleared off everything. Not a speck of dust inside.”

“And the drawers?” Jaejoong asked, wiping down the kitchen counter. “If someone happened to open them, there wouldn't happen to be condoms on top, or anything?”

“I moved all that stuff down the hall to your other room.” He took the washcloth from Jaejoong. “If it's just cleaning, I can do it just fine. Go back and get dressed. They'll be coming soon.”

Jaejoong groaned. “Please, don't remind me. I feel like I'm going to die.”

“Don't worry, Jaejoongie. I know you're probably concerned about my family, but your parents will be there to keep things calm. And Auntie Minjung, too. Just calm down and focus on being yourself, and there's no way it's going to go wrong.”

“I'm not so sure about 'no way'...”

Yunho bent down to kiss him. “The good news is no matter what you do, I'm still going to love you, so really there's no point in worrying, right?”

Jaejoong sighed. “You always say that stuff in a way that makes it impossible to disagree.”

“That's the point, isn't it?” He gently urged Jaejoong forward. “Go on, get dressed.”

Yunho had already laid out a pale yellow hanbok for Jaejoong to change into on the bed. The room was as promised, well-cleaned and spotless. Jaejoong smiled to himself. Yunho was probably worried, too, though he wasn't showing it for Jaejoong's sake. They still felt they had a lot to prove when it came to Yunho's family; they weren't giving them difficulties, exactly, but their relationship still went unspoken of in Yunho's household, as if talking about it would make it all the more real.

The fact that it was real made Jaejoong more stubborn about having it acknowledged. It was bad enough that they had to keep it a secret from most people they knew. It shouldn't have to be buried all over again to the people who were already aware of it.

Jaejoong's smoothed his hair in the mirror and straightened his hanbok. He'd just have to give it his best and hope he wouldn't blow it. The cooking at least would be fine, that much he could be confident of.

He returned to a clean kitchen, and laughed as Yunho smiled eagerly at him for praise. “Thanks,” he said, squeezing Yunho's hands. “Our apartment looks immaculate.”

“That'll at least impress my family. I don't think I've lived anywhere so clean before.”

After a minute or so of Jaejoong fussing around with the table settings, the doorbell finally rang. Jaejoong held his breath as he looked through the peephole, but it was his mother and father waiting outside rather than Yunho's. He threw open the door and welcomed them inside with a warm hug, thanking them for coming.

“Of course, of course,” his mother said, pinching his cheeks. “Oh, and look at how sweet you look! Your father brought the camera today, so be sure to pose for lots of pictures for us.” She paused, reaching out to Yunho. “You look good yourself. Aigoo, and still so tall! You boys are too much for an old woman like me.”

Jaejoong's father pulled out the camera. “Let's get a photo of you two before we get caught up in dinner. Give us a big smile, now!”

Yunho and Jaejoong obliged him, flashing a grin for the camera to capture. While his father looked it over for approval, his mother went around the apartment, commenting on all their new decorations and giving her opinion on where they might look better.

Jaejoong was grateful for it. He still wasn't sure how much they had wrapped their head around the fact that their son was dating another man, but they lived with it and allowed him to live with it too rather than pretending it wasn't a part of their reality. In their house, they'd even included a picture of him with Yunho on their mantel, alongside their collection of pictures of his sisters and their husbands and children.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. This time Jaejoong knew for sure who it was, and in his breath. He reminded himself of how bravely he'd been able to talk to them before, and that he had nothing left to lose if they had listened to him up to that point.

He pulled open the door. Yunho's sister entered in first, giving a twirl to show off her hanbok then standing on her tip-toes to plant a kiss on her brother's cheek. Auntie Minjung followed, then Yunho's parents. Their eyes widened from the moment they saw how big the apartment was and how much Jaejoong and Yunho had accumulated over the short span of a few months.

“Welcome to our house,” Yunho said, bowing. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Well, you've moved up in the world from your dorm,” Auntie Minjung commented, setting down the box of alcohol they'd brought as a gift with them. “And from my house, too. Your closet looks bigger than your old bedroom.”

“You've got some really cool stuff, too,” Jihye said, skipping off the TV room to admire their big screen. “Mother, do you think I could move in?”

“Worry about getting the grades to get a job where you could afford a place like this,” Mrs. Jung said, blinking as she looked around the room. “This really is nice, though.” After she had satisfied herself in looking around, she finally pulled Yunho in for a hug. “You seem to have put on some more weight since I saw you last time. Good. You've been touring so often lately that I was worrying.” She looked at Jaejoong. “You've been feeding him well, yes? Good, home cooked meals?”

“Of course,” Jaejoong said. “I'm happy you could come, Mrs. Jung.”

“We're in the middle of moving anyways, so I'm afraid we wouldn't have done the holiday justice this year. We'll let you step in for now.” She patted Jaejoong's hand and moved on to greet Jaejoong's parents formally and to offer them some of the gifts they had brought.

Jihye poked her head back in after admiring their CD collection and stereo system. “Are Changmin, Junsu, and Yoochun oppa coming?”

“They're with their own families,” Yunho explained. “You'll just have to put up with us for now.”

“Ah, fine. It smells good in here, by the way.” She scooted over to the table. “You prepared all of this, Jaejoong oppa?”

“I did. But it was really no trouble, as long as you all enjoy it.”

“I'm sorry my son is such a burden to yours,” Mr. Jung said regretfully to Jaejoong's mother. “He is no use in the kitchen.”

“Yeobo, you've never helped me out with Chuseok cooking,” Mrs. Jung said dismissively. “Your son follows the example you set, can't be helped.”

“Yunho ah did do a very good job of cleaning the apartment today,” Jaejoong said in his defense. “Our bedroom has never looked this neat before.”

“Oh, may I see?” Jihye asked excitedly.

Mrs. Jung set a hand on her daughter's arm. “Don't intrude, dear,” she said pointedly.

“But I--”

"Jihye, intruding on your brother's personal space isn't ladylike."

Jihye rolled her eyes. "I'm not two, mother. Besides, I used to go in their room in their old dorms, and you never scolded me for that before."

“Let her see it,” Yunho said quickly. “I just cleaned it, it's fine.”

Mrs. Jung still looked a little uncertain as if it would be inappropriate to let her daughter see the place where her son slept with another man, but she finally shrugged and let it go. Jihye bounded off again down the hallway to their room, humming under her breath.

“So how is our favorite vocal group doing?” Auntie Minjung asked to shift the subject. “I always think I'm properly following what you're doing, but then you do something else and throw a wrench in it...”

“Still touring,” Yunho said. “We'll be going to Hong Kong next week for a concert and fan meeting. Yoochunnie has been busy acting, too.”

“Pah!” Auntie Minjung said, laughing. “The same little boy who used to tramp through my garden like a mud monster, an actor. Fame makes strange things out of all of you. Even you two seem more and more refined.”

“Oh, trust me. We're not usually.”

"I don't know about that," Jaejoong's mother said brightly. "Whenever anyone asks me about my Jaejoongie, they can barely believe the same boy who grew up barely speaking is always laughing and talking in his interviews, looking so happy. And the clothes, bless my soul, seeing my very own son flaunting ab muscles!" 

"Mother!" Jaejoong protested. Yunho hid a laugh behind his hand.

When Jihye emerged from their room, wide-eyed over all the expensive jewelry she'd found on their dresser, they all sat down to their meal. Jaejoong's mother got a little teary over how happy it made her to see Jaejoong serving a Chuseok meal of his own, but otherwise he made it through serving the different dishes without incident. When everyone chimed in about how excellent it tasted, he found himself beaming with pride. A success after all, he thought.

“Your sisters send their love,” his father said after polishing off his serving of bolgogi. “When they heard you were doing the cooking, they all wanted to come, too, but they have plans with their husbands' families.”

“How are Dayoung and the baby?” Jaejoong asked.

“Oh, absolutely stunning,” his mother said proudly. “I have pictures, of course.” She pulled out her cell phone and passed the new pictures of Jaejoong's niece around for everyone to admire. “Dayoungie is still recovering at home for the holiday, but Stanley thinks she'll be up and about soon.”

“Any leftovers we have today, please feel free to bring when you go see her,” Jaejoong offered.

“We will be sure to do so. Such a doting brother.”

Mrs. Jung looked at the picture of Dayoung's baby wistfully. “You have several grandchildren now, I understand?” she asked.

Jaejoong's mother smiled. “With as many children as I raised, I made it difficult for it to be any other way. Being unable to have natural children myself, I didn't want to put pressure on any one child, but they've all risen to the occasion splendidly in their own ways.”

“Meanwhile, all the pressure is on me now,” Jihye sighed tragically.

“Jihye ah, you know that's not true,” Mrs. Jung protested.

“Ah now, there is a problem with feeling pressure,” Jaejoong's mother said, waving her hand. “The body knows when it's being told to do this or that, and like a stubborn child, it can resist you. The more stress it feels, the less likely it will be to behave. If you think 'come what may' in your head and heart, it sets you free from that stress and all the good things will come. As for babies, you know why I think we have children? Not to continue on the world, I think. Not just that. We have children to make the world better, better than we had left it. If you cannot have children, maybe that does not mean you have failed. Maybe that means you have to do your part to make the world twice as better while you live. That's what I think my Jaejoongie is doing. I cannot look at all the happiness he's brought and say 'No, my son has failed me'.” She smiled. “That is what I think, anyways.”

“Umma,” Jaejoong murmured, flushing.

“What? Would you rather I scold you?”

“No, I'm good.” He smiled. “But thank you.”

Mrs. Jung looked from him to Yunho solemnly, pursing her lips. Jaejoong wondered if she still thought of them in that way. Failures. No, that's unkind. Jaejoong remembered what Auntie Minjung had said about parents sometimes projecting their own shortcomings onto their children and wanting them to find a way around it. It was the part of them that still viewed Yunho as a troublesome child who'd almost thrown away his studies to pursue a hopeless dream that had made them hard on him. But they could hardly feel that way anymore, seeing where he was now. His dream had been realized, and he'd pulled himself up to a life he could be proud of, and that they could, too. Yunho wasn't a child, and he wasn't weak or stubborn or foolish. You couldn't project those words on him anymore. Perhaps they were beginning to realize that now.

After they finished eating and cleaning up the table, Yunho and Jaejoong's mothers pulled out the family albums they'd brought with them and showed off their old pictures while their fathers chatted about a new foreign import car they were both interested in buying. Jaejoong slipped back off to the kitchen to pack up some leftovers for Dayoung, and Yunho followed him.

“Think we're doing well?” Yunho asked.

“I think so... it's hard to tell when they won't say as much out loud.”

“It's a matter of pride,” Yunho sighed. “After making a fuss about it before, I doubt they find it easy to just change their minds. Knowing my mother though, she won't be able to take having your mother being supportive without being supportive herself. That's how it is. People disapprove when everyone else does and approve for the same reason. Maybe that's how you can make the world a better place. By making them approve for the right reasons.”

“How?” Jaejoong asked sadly. “I can't talk about it, even though I have a platform to. I'll probably go to my grave hiding it. There are braver people in the world than me, people who can make a bigger difference.”

“Maybe,” Yunho said gently, his cheek. “But even baby steps can take someone far. Even if it's just a single person turning on their TV and wanting to see someone like themselves onstage and recognizing you for that, that's a step better than how it ever was before, isn't it? You've already made a difference with your parents, I can tell. I have some catching up to do.”

“Hmmm.” Jaejoong pursed his lips. “Well, as long as you're here, I honestly can't say I regret anything. Even denying your parents a grandchild or two, I don't regret it. As long as you're happy, I can't see it as something I should be sorry for.”

“Good. I feel the same about you, you know that?” He kissed the top of Jaejoong's head. “So no more worrying, all right? If they don't support us fully now, at least they're a step closer.”

And he was right. For the rest of the evening, there was not even a hint of awkwardness between their families. All of them had an enjoyable time talking, and shared a laugh when Jaejoong and Yunho were the ones to pass out money rather than their parents. Yunho's mother even asked Jaejoong to write down some of his recipes for her to add to her own cookbook later, since she'd enjoyed the dinner so much.

Jaejoong's parents took their leave first, saying that they wanted to stop by Dayoung's before heading home, though it took several hugs and promises to visit again soon before they actually left. Yunho's family lingered awhile longer, but as it got darker, they too decided to leave since Jihye had class the next morning.

“Before we go, one thing,” Yunho's mother said after they had exchanged hugs and well wishes. She reached down to pull a piece of paper out of her purse and it into Yunho's hands. “They say being prepared is a good secret to a long lasting and safe relationship, so listen well, hmm? Do well in your activities and stay healthy.” Without further ado, she opened the door and stepped out, taking Jihye and Yunho's father with her.

“Well, what's it say?” Jaejoong asked, looking at the paper in Yunho's hand in confusion.

Yunho quietly read for a moment then burst out laughing. “Seems like it's an article about a gay Chinese actor who's living in America right now. It's about how he was able to keep his uality a secret for so long.”

“Eh? And she gave it you...”

“So we could better keep ourselves a secret,” Yunho finished. “Remember what she said? 'Being prepared is a good secret to a long lasting and safe relationship'.”

“Does that mean she actually wants us to be long lasting?” Jaejoong asked in amazement.

“Can you think of any other explanation?”

Jaejoong shook his head, trying to hold back a grin. “I don't know. But if this is a blessing from your family. I'll take it.”

“See? I told you there was no way for this to go wrong.”

“You got lucky.”

“I've been lucky, Jae. And that's why they're okay with it. Because I have you.”

Mother, don't tell me friends are the ones that I lose
'Cause they'd bleed before you
And sometimes family are the ones you'd choose
It's too late now
I hold on to this life I found

And who's to say that we're not good enough?
And who's to say that this is not our love?