A/N: Last short story! But no worries, this girl is going to keep writing Yunjae ;) I miss Jaejoong so much and I'm sad that Yunho will be leaving this year, but my love also remains fadeless! I also wrote another blog for you guys to get your Yunjae fix, so if you haven't checked it out yet, please do! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

FADELESS LOVE

It was only a one hour bus trip away from the city, a trip they had made so many times back when they were younger. Yunho had used to take that same path nearly every day before they'd gotten their dorm, and before him it had been Jaejoong who'd taken that route. He'd made the pilgrimage back to get recording equipment for Yunho from Dayoung and Stan, he remembered. It seemed like ages ago now. They hadn't even been together as a couple then, which now seemed inconceivable. They'd been together so long that it felt like Yunho was etched into every moment of his life. Had it really ever been any other way? Had he really ever lived without this beautiful, precious love in his life?

It was just a one hour trip, but they never really went back. Changmin's family moved to Seoul, and even though Yoochun and Junsu's parents stayed and Auntie Minjung too, they came to the city so frequently that there was really no need to make a special pilgrimage to see them. Junsu and Yoochun would go sometimes for Chuseok or other holidays, but Yunho and Jaejoong either stayed in Seoul to be with Jaejoong's family or Gwangju to be with Yunho's. Their lives were a whirlwind now, and although they often talked about going back together, it never really seemed to happen. Like so many things, it was sacrificed to other schedules and pushed aside to the distant future which never seemed to come.

It was Yunho who brought it up. They knew their cycles well enough by now to find openings. Album release, promotions, Japan release, tour, solo activities-- you found the gaps in between to take a breather, which for the two of them more often than not involved the alone time they couldn't take advantage of with the cameras staring at them from all directions. He didn't mind the busyness-- in some ways, he thrived on it, all of them did-- but he loved the breaks just as much. So when Yunho pointed out a small stretch of days off in their schedule and suggested going back home-- their first home together-- Jaejoong instantly agreed to get in touch with Hyunsoo and Yongsoo to see if they could keep those days free so they could leisurely spend their time without needing to rush back.

They couldn't take the bus back, of course. That was one of a side effects of being DBSK, one that disappointed Jaejoong a little bit. He wanted to go through the old ritual of seeing the town approach through the bus window, his knees pressed up against the back of the uncomfortable seats. He wanted to relive what it felt like being a kid on the brink of having his entire life turned upside down by love, all the anxiety and newness and purity that had now matured into something different and more experienced.

So they drove, safe behind their tinted windows as they left the city. Yunho played trot songs on the radio just like the old days and sang along. The car didn't jostle like the truck, and it was a smooth ride. According to Auntie Minjung, she'd had to scrap the truck because it stopped running a few years ago. Neither of them were surprised, but Jaejoong still felt a pang when he'd heard the news. He wanted everything from back then to preserve itself so they could always go back and slip back into it as if they'd never left. But that was unreasonable. They'd grown, and they couldn't just fit into their old spaces so easily. The world deserved to change as well, even if it only little by little. It was allowed to tell new stories as time passed, and they could only ever look back at what had happened and live the rest of their lives faithfully in the present, carrying everything they had taken with them.

It was a faster ride by car, and it was still morning when they arrived. When Jaejoong opened the car door, he half expected to be scalded by a heatwave, but the weather was mild and there was a nice breeze to keep things on the cooler side. It would be an ideal day to work at the market. He rather wanted to, he realized. He wished he could shed the famous Kim Jaejoong and sell a passing ahjumma a cucumber without anyone causing a scene over it. He had done that exact same thing in the past, and it now seemed a little odd that he simply couldn't do it anymore.

Yunho took in the familiar air, then exhaled slowly. “What first?” he asked, looking at Jaejoong.

“I don't know. There's just so much.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “How old was I again the first time I came here? Seventeen? It's been ten years since then. I want to do everything.” He opened his eyes again to the house and lawn that had become like memories but were now right in front of him again. “I guess we should see Auntie Minjung first.”

“She'll be coming tomorrow. When she heard we were coming, she seemed to want to give us at least a day to ourselves.”

“Ah. So we can have on your old bed again.”

“Your ability to plan ahead has always been one of your charms, baby,” Yunho laughed. “But before then...”

“Honestly? I want to go to the market the most.”

“That's what I was thinking. If you think about it, I'm pretty sure we spent the most time that summer there.”

“I wonder if it's changed a lot or not at all.”

“I guess we'll be finding out.”

The answer, when they arrived, was that it was a little bit of both. When you looked at it head on, it appeared the same as it ever did. But then when you dug deeper, half the stalls that were there now weren't the same ones that had been there before, and several of the ones that were the same were manned by different people. It gave Jaejoong a particularly odd feeling to walk by the fish stall and see two new teens who Junsu and Yoochun's fathers had hired rather than Junsu and Yoochun themselves. Of course, the two of them were obviously back in Seoul and on schedule, but Jaejoong still halfway expected them to be there dumping ice chips down each others' shirts just like he remembered them.

“Time really does go on,” Yunho murmured. “Does this feel as weird for you as it does for me?”

Jaejoong nodded. “But not bad weird. Just... a sign that we really did have to leave something behind when we went to chase our dreams.”

“You always think these places will stay waiting for you, though.”

“I guess we didn't stay waiting for them, so they had to move on.”

“Hmm. It's a bittersweet feeling.”

They glanced around at some of the teens bouncing back in forth between trinket stalls, wrapped up in their own little worlds. Jaejoong and Yunho were covered by their hats and shades, but if people made the effort, it wouldn't be impossible to recognize them. But the young boys and girls were focused only on each other, just as the five of them had been back then. The people who had been young when they were here were now among the somewhat unrecognizable adults. Minhee had gotten married a year ago, as had most of Yunho's old school friends. There were probably a handful of toddlers around the city that belonged to them.

It had stopped troubling him that he hadn't given Yunho his shot at this life. They were happy exactly where they were, on stage, with their fans. Even if they weren't technically married, they felt as good as married with the amount of time they spent together, living in the same place and staying committed to each other's happiness. They wouldn't be having kids, but it wasn't like they had the leisure to raise them with the kind of lives they had right now even if they could. It was all a part of the choices they had made together, and they were content. Yunho had loved him too long and too dearly for him to doubt their future any more.

The two of them walked quietly past Auntie Minjung's stand. She'd also hired two new high school students to take over, and they stood in the places where Jaejoong and Yunho had once stood, fanning themselves lazily and eating their rice cake lunch from the ahjummas a stall over.

“Think they'll start sleeping together before the summer's over?” Yunho joked.

“I don't know. It would be kind of funny if we cursed the jobs.”

“Cursed?” Yunho asked, sounding wounded.

“Blessed?”

“Blessed. Think of how miserable we would be if we hadn't managed to work everything out before you left.”

“Everything would be different.”

“I don't even want to know what it would be like. Because it wouldn't be this.” Yunho took Jaejoong's hand and surreptitiously squeezed it. “I dare you to buy something from our replacements.”

“What do you want?”

“A squash.”

“Really?”

“Why not? Whatever I get, it'll be weird. I used to get everything Auntie grew for free back in the day.”

Jaejoong dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet as he trotted up to the stall. The two boys barely even blinked. “What would you like?” the taller one asked, setting aside his food. Jaejoong wondered if they even had any idea that their employer was related to someone in DBSK or if they were the kind of people who couldn't care less.

“Squash,” Jaejoong said, lowering his voice from its usual tone, not that he thought they'd recognize him at this point anyways. “By the way, did you know that Jung Yunho used to work here?”

“That guy from Dong Bang Shin Ki? Oh yeah, of course we know. There's always girls stopping by to take selfies here for that. Our profits go up whenever that happens, since we can always convince them to buy home grown food from Jung Yunho's very own aunt. The other one worked here, too, and two others at the fish shop.” The guy shrugged. “I haven't actually seen them here, though.”

“If you became a famous idol, would you come back here?” the other guy asked. “I'd run as far away as I could.”

“As if you'd ever become a famous idol.”

“I bet you today's paycheck that DBSK didn't think they would be famous idols either when they worked here.”

“And how are you going to find out? Asking them?”

Jaejoong accepted his squash after handing them their money and tilted his head. “Well. Jaejoong had an inkling that he wanted to be an idol, but wasn't sure if he could do it. Same with Junsu. As for Yunho, he wanted to in his heart of hearts, but wasn't giving his talent for it enough credit. Yoochun and Changmin frankly had no idea.”

The two boys looked at him weirdly. “Uhhh.... okay...”

“Take it from a DBSK super fan.” Jaejoong saluted to them playfully. “Enjoy yourselves!” The two of them simply scratched their heads as he walked away.

“Did you get caught?” Yunho asked when Jaejoong delivered the squash into his hands.

“Nope. Did you know girls take selfies at the stall because of us? It's a pilgrimage site now.”

“Huh. Wouldn't have guessed.”

“It's the sacred spot where Jaejoong and Yunho fell in love. Why wouldn't it be?”

Yunho grinned. “Was it that exact same spot? I thought we kind of fell in love all over this place, and not just the one spot.”

“True.”

“So I guess we have some other stops to make?”

“I guess we do.”

0o0

They went to the lake for about an hour, and had their bare feet kissed again by the minnows; that hadn't changed, though Jaejoong had to assume they were the great-great-grandchildren of the fish they had encountered back in the day. This time he also felt free to hold hands and lean into Yunho to his heart's pleasure, which he hadn't before. That was a positive change. Being a celebrity had sometimes forced him back into restraint, but he was frankly pretty terrible at that as well. Yunho was impossible not to touch or want, so he allowed himself the occasional slip-ups, though he preferred to have the most when no one else was looking at them, because then he could have all of him, the parts that only belonged to him.

After that, they swung by the abandoned road where they'd first found each other. Yunho jokingly did a bit of one of their routines for old time's sake, but they quickly collapsed into the grass together and looked up into the wide blue sky.

“Met for the first time here, kissed for the first time here,” Yunho mused. “Why don't fangirls come here to take selfies?”

“Probably because it takes two deranged nutcases to even know about a place like this.” Jaejoong rolled over and studied Yunho's face. “If you hadn't had the day off early, I quite possibly could have died here.”

“Don't.”

“It's true.”

“No it isn't. Me finding you was true. Nothing else.” He lifted his head up and pecked Jaejoong's lips. “Just keep telling yourself that this was always meant to happen. Because it's what did happen. There's no changing that.”

“That's comforting. Although I did read this one manga about our existence branching off into different parallel futures based on different choices. There could be versions of us living in different realities where you didn't get off work in time to find me or we didn't get together or didn't become DBSK or maybe we did but it happened differently in another order.”

Yunho looked at him blankly. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“This is manga, it could be legitimate.”

“Shut up,” Yunho advised. “You're making my head hurt. Are we here, or are we not?”

Jaejoong smiled and relented. “We're here.”

“Good. Don't confuse the issue. Let's stay here. Let's stay in love in the future we chose.” He rolled on top of Jaejoong and started kissing him. “Mmmm. Now this is familiar.”

“Not familiar. Better.”

0o0

They saved Yunho's room for last. All his things were packed up now, although Auntie Minjung still kept sheets on his bed for guests. His computer and recording equipment had traveled to Seoul with him, and everything else was boxed up in storage. That didn't make it feel as empty as the fact that his acoustic guitar wasn't there. Without it, it didn't really feel like his room anymore.

Yunho collapsed down on his bed, humming Mine under his breath. Jaejoong smiled. That brought the sense of ownership back a little bit. This really was the same place where they'd gone through his songs together, the first place he'd performed almost all of the most important songs he'd ever written. The first place they'd made love, too. Even if it was almost empty now, it still carried those memories with it.

“So,” Yunho said, pulling Jaejoong down next to him. “How does it feel being back?”

“It feels...” Jaejoong searched for the words. “It feels like a confusing mix of belonging in every single little part of this place, but at the same time not belonging at all anymore. Which doesn't even make sense.”

Yunho shook his head. “I feel the same though. But even if we're at a different place now, our starting point will always be here. So I think it'll always be home in that way.”

Jaejoong nodded. “I'm glad we came. I guess it is a bit of a pilgrimage site for us now, too.”

“Want to take a selfie?”

“Later. We're still fully clothed.”

“Oh yes. Can't possibly take a picture of yourself fully clothed.” He grabbed Jaejoong's waist and held him close. “So the shy Jaejoong who first came here has come to this.”

“I could be doing worse, you know.” He tapped his fingers against Yunho's stomach. “In fact...”

“Hmmmm?” Yunho sighed suggestively.

“Someone's gotten a little chubby...”

“Hey!”

Jaejoong reached up and cupped Yunho's face. You could still see the traces of the young man he'd been when they'd met, though everything had matured since then. His face was fuller and though there weren't exactly wrinkles, there were hints of laugh lines around his features which gave them a slightly different color than before. He was still handsome, but in a different way. Jaejoong didn't mourn the changes in the slightest. He had been there for each gradual shift that happened day to day, had watched him grow into this person. He was proud of him, for everything he had done and become, and who he was still becoming.

“What are you thinking?” Yunho asked, running his finger against Jaejoong's bottom lip.

“That I'm in love with you.”

“I hope that doesn't come as a surprise at this point.”

“But you amaze me every day. Is that such a bad thing?”

“Mmm. I suppose not. Sometimes I wake up in the morning still amazed that I got to spend it with someone like you.”

“You are a lucky one, aren't you?”

“Not as lucky as you.”

“Hmph. Arrogant.”

“You're the last person I want to hear that from.”

Jaejoong laughed and pulled him down for a kiss. “I guess you're not that chubby.”

“Is someone rethinking themselves?”

“Rethinking? This was what we were always going to do, wasn't it? Is there any other better way to say 'welcome home'?”

Yunho didn't answer, but rolled over onto him, pushing him into the mattress and causing the springs to creak, a beautiful, familiar sound. They kissed, and now rather being their first time, it was one among thousands that had passed and a thousand more to come. But it didn't get old or lose its power. They still had so much more to learn of each other and so much more to experience together.

He was glad though. Glad that they had at least one more time to be together in this room. It was not because it had belonged to them and was therefore precious in some sort of intangible way or even because it was a house to old memories that had formed them and defined their paths for so long. It was because its story, their story, was still going on, new memories were being made and being imprinted into its frame, and even when they moved onwards, everything they had done still touched them in the present as much as the past, real and alive in their hearts rather than moments which escaped them as time flew past. They were here; no other future had been chosen. This was home, no matter how many other homes they had. This, like every part of their love, would live forever and never fade.

I should be used to seeing this scenery
But it looks more beautiful than usual
It’s like the last scene of a movie
It’s not the world but me that has changed
(My heart, my love)

Someone is by my side
(I’m by someone’s side)
I felt for the first time
That it has to be you
(No one else but you)
That’s what my heart felt

We’re always so close
So close that our two hearts beat as one
Deeper, we become one
No matter how much time passes
No matter if the season changes
My love will never fade
I love you
I love you

What the cold town lacked
Was one last piece: your name
That piece is, yes definitely,
Placed inside me
(My heart, my love)

Together we’re moving towards
(The two us are moving towards)
An endless future
If you’re here with me
(If I can go with you)
I’m not afraid of anything

I don’t know what
Will happen in the future
But I know one thing:
No matter how far
No matter if we’re somewhere foreign
My love will never fade
I love you
I love you

We’re forever, We’re always
Connected. That’s why I believe
I don’t have to put it into words
(I need no words)
I can feel it with my heart

We’re always so close
So close that our two hearts beat as one
Deeper, we become one
No matter how much time passes
No matter if the season changes
My love will never fade
I love you
I love you