ii. Nightmare

The past was much better for now. Living far behind would be the best for now. Staying still on the memories is the right choice, for now.

That smile—a smile which Jongdae can’t help but following suit—comes again into his sleep. And with that smile, Kim Jongdae smiles widely through his closing eyes. Contented.

That frown—a frown which Jongdae can’t help but feeling so guilty whenever it appears—visiting him again that night. And with that frown, Kim Jongdae wakes up suddenly at dark 3 o’clock. Sweating.

He tries to manage his rapid breath, eyes blinking few times while wandering the surrounding. He is still on his bed. He is still in his room. He is still in his dorm.

And for that, he can’t help but feeling a bit disappointed. He just wants his dream to be his reality, and his reality is merely a nightmare.

His fingers touch something hard on the edge of his bed, and Jongdae’s tears flow out uncontrollably. He grips the frame that almost breaks its glass. He cries without sound, staring at the photo in his hands.

Sure, the past seems much better than now; Luhan hyung smiled th