Chapter 2

Chanyeol's P.O.V

~Baekhyun has always been cute. No matter what the boy wore, said or looked like, he always looked as cute he could be. The boy has always been cute, especially when he was sleepy and unconsciously mumbled things and just looked like a sleepy puppy.

 

Chanyeol has secretly watched Baekhyun from afar for a long time, especially during middle school, when Chanyeol didn't go to the same class as Baekhyun. Chanyeol went to the parallel class and barely saw Baekhyun, but when he saw the boy, he could sit and stare at the boy for ages. He found it hard to just take his eyes of the boy for a second, but he's glad that he never did. Because he got to see the most beautiful person he has ever seen.

 

The older Chanyeol got, the more feelings begun to grow inside of him. Baekhyun was always someone Chanyeol had in mind, someone Chanyeol loved to watch and fantasize about. And when they both finally begun high school and ended up in the same class, Chanyeol was more than happy. He felt lucky.

 

Chanyeol took the chance to become close to Baekhyun, in hope that he would understand the boy's feelings. Chanyeol tried to not show Baekhyun his own feelings for the boy, not yet. Chanyeol kept it as a secret, but he never stopped to steal glances at the beautiful boy's face.

 

Chanyeol never understood his own feelings at first. Baekhyun was a boy, just like himself, but the weird feelings was still there. Chanyeol could never understand how it worked. How love worked. One day he just thought of Baekhyun as a cute friend, the other day he could wake up with a after a hot dream about the boy. But it felt natural somehow, to be in love like this. Chanyeol was after all a 15 years old boy, soon a 16 years old boy. It wasn't actually weird to begun to dream those ual dreams.

 

Chanyeol got closer to Baekhyun, day by day, until it felt like they couldn't get closer. Baekhyun wasn't interested in Chanyeol more than being friends, Chanyeol learned that pretty fast. But still, Chanyeol couldn't just let Baekhyun go, he didn't want to do that. Chanyeol kept dream about Baekhyun and when they slept over and the boy was asleep, Chanyeol dared to the boy's cheek and just admire his beautiful face up-close.

 

But nothing more happened, Baekhyun and Chanyeol only became friends, even with Chanyeol's secret strong feelings for the boy. Baekhyun was interested in girls after all, even though Chanyeol tried his best to keep Baekhyun his. He didn't want Baekhyun to fall in love with someone else, though it happened from time to time that Baekhyun flirted with the girls right in front of Chanyeol. Baekhyun once even got a girlfriend, but they broke up pretty fast and Baekhyun didn't seem to want to try to find a new girlfriend again. Not for a long time anyway.

 

Chanyeol tried to make Baekhyun to like him more than the boy already did. He literally tried everything to make the boy see him more than he would see other girls. Chanyeol played songs for Baekhyun, Chanyeol took Baekhyun out a lot and he just tried his best to make the boy understand his feelings. But it seemed that nothing happened more between them, like there was an invisible wall stopping them from getting closer.

 

Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun never liked him more than friends, but Chanyeol never felt satisfied with that thought. But in the end, when Chanyeol had to move to Busan and was forced to leave his previous Baekhyun, the boy didn't seem too sad about it. Chanyeol felt sad, but he still had managed to find some hope inside him, that Baekhyun was just to sad to actually show that to the giant.

 

But when Chanyeol saw one of the girls hook arms with Baekhyun and smiled at him, something hit him. Baekhyun wasn't interested in him, he had his interests in the opposite and that's it. Chanyeol had nothing else to say about it.

 

Baekhyun was for a long time ago already taken away from him. Chanyeol wasn't supposed to love Baekhyun and he won't get Baekhyun. He never will be good enough for Baekhyun to see him. No matter how much fun they had together, no matter how cute Baekhyun was and how much Chanyeol wished the boy was his, Baekhyun wouldn't be Chanyeol's. He never was and he never would.

 

And that's the reason why Chanyeol never tried to keep in touch with Baekhyun, because he got scared. Scared that Baekhyun would find a new girlfriend and let Chanyeol watch them be all cute and lovey-dovey. Chanyeol was scared that he was going to watch Baekhyun be someone else boyfriend. And Chanyeol couldn't stand that thought about it.

 

Chanyeol regret that he didn't ask Baekhyun to stay in touch with him, because later on he realized how much in love he truly had been with Baekhyun. And he realized that no matter how much he tried to forget the boy, he couldn't stop think about Baekhyun. But it was to late, Chanyeol had no idea where Baekhyun were or how he was now days, because they lost contact for a long time ago...

 

Until one day his mother mentioned something with the boy's name...~

 

 

“Chanyeol? Hello? Are you there?”
“Uh? Oh sorry, I spaced out again.”
“You seem to have been spacing out a lot lately. Is something wrong? Are you really okay?”
“Nothing is wrong, I'm fine. I just have had a lot to think about.”
“Do you want some more tea?”

 

 

Baekhyun asked with a kind smile as Chanyeol nodded. Chanyeol usually doesn't space out that much when he's with Baekhyun, it's more that he sits and stares at the boy's face and watch all the cute faces he make while he's eating or talking. Chanyeol has missed this, the cute Baekhyun who would always smile and laugh. But the weird thing is that it feels like Baekhyun doesn't smile and laugh as much as he used to do.

 

Chanyeol has come by Baekhyun's apartment a lot lately, with that he mean every Monday and Wednesday since Baekhyun works every other day, but also during the lunches almost every day. Chanyeol comes by this often for one main reason, he wants to catch up for all those years without Baekhyun. He want Baekhyun to see him as more than an old friend.

 

But the boy still hasn't told Chanyeol why he dropped out of college, even though Chanyeol has tried to make the boy tell him about it. But since Chanyeol is scared to hurt Baekhyun's feelings by just asking straight out, he will keep try to make the boy tell him about it himself.

 

 

“So, how is work going?”
“It's... going pretty okay. And how is school?”
“It's good, really. But Baek... I have been thinking about something a lot lately.”
“What? Mind telling me?”
“Well... Why are you only eating unhealthy food? Seriously, you will get sick if you eat this much ramen and junk food. You can't live like this forever you know and it worries me.”
“A-Aha, is that what you have been thinking about? Haha, sorry if I worry you, but it's only temporary.”
“How long have this been temporary? Two months? Three months? More?”
“Around three months...”
“See, you even lowered your voice because you know it's a bad thing. How much longer have you planned to live like this?”
“I-I don't know, I-I have just been busy a lot and I haven't had the power to cook. And I'm not that good when it comes to cooking either.”
“Not? Your mother was an excellent chef, hasn't she taught you anything?”

 

 

Baekhyun just sat silent on the other side of the table as Chanyeol realized that maybe he went a little to far with this conversation. But he's just worried about Baekhyun, after all the boy is thin and all, but he's pale and Chanyeol isn't sure if Baekhyun actually feels that well as he claim to do.

 

Chanyeol sighed as he tried to think, he has to say something. No, he has to do something. But what can he do? He has just got to know Baekhyun again, it has been some few weeks and they have begun to get back to the close friends they were. But does Baekhyun trust Chanyeol that much?

 

'I have to do something, but what? What can I help him with? And why doesn't he tell me what's wrong? Every time I mention his mother... he always ends up in silence... Maybe they have argued and had a fight lately? It's not like Baekhyun to fight, but it has happened, even I know that... Then, there is only one thing I can do until things get solved.'

 

 

“You know what, come by for dinner tonight.”
“W-What?”
“You heard me, come to my apartment and I will make you dinner. And I will make you some lunch boxes so you can eat proper food at least from time to time and not only this frozen junk food and those ramen noddles.”
“Y-You don't have too, really. I'm fine, it's just temporary and-”
“Exactly, it's only temporary, but it has already been a long time. I think you need some real food and to be honest, I just want to be more with you. Please let me treat you dinner for some days. Just for a while, it will only be temporary.”

 

 

Baekhyun seemed to think about it for a while before he nodded a little shy as Chanyeol smiled and drank up his tea. Baekhyun is so cute when he's blushing. Chanyeol wish he could just hug the boy and just keep him in his arms, because the boy is so cute. But it would be weird if Chanyeol suddenly hugged the boy for no practical reason.

 

 

“Then it's settled, you come home to my place for dinner tonight. Oh I know, why don't you sleep over while you're at it? You're free today and tomorrow morning, right?”
“Y-Yeah, b-but do you really want me to-”
“Of course I want you to come over and sleep over with me. I have missed you a lot Baekhyun, so I don't mind if you come around a little more often.”

 

 

Baekhyun smiled a little shy as Chanyeol smiled back. Chanyeol got the boy to come and sleep over with him as well. Chanyeol felt his heart beat happily, he can't help it, Chanyeol is still deeply in love Baekhyun after all this time. Even after that Chanyeol tried to forget the boy. But it seems that it didn't help, Chanyeol still has those strong feelings for the boy.

 

 

Baekhyun's P.O.V

Chanyeol randomly showed up one morning and after that Baekhyun got used to Chanyeol coming by at Mondays and Wednesdays to stay almost the whole day, but also during the lunch time every other day. Baekhyun don't mind though, the only time he actually mind Chanyeol is when the boy mention Baekhyun's mother or ask something about her.

 

Baekhyun still don't know how to tell Chanyeol about this with Baekhyun's mother being dead. Every time Chanyeol just mention her Baekhyun feel how he can't breathe that well and how his stomach twitch and hurt. Chanyeol seem to have understood that Baekhyun doesn't want to talk about his mother, because Chanyeol tries to not mention her anymore. Which is a relief.

 

Baekhyun let Chanyeol go home a little earlier than the giant usually do this Monday morning. He's probably going to prepare the dinner for later and Baekhyun has some things to do anyway.

 

After Chanyeol left, Baekhyun went to sleep one more hour before he got up and got dressed. Baekhyun then ate lunch, only some fruits, before he got his shoes and jacket on and left the apartment. Today it's Monday, and Baekhyun thought he would pay his lovely mother a visit.

 

Baekhyun walked fast to the bus stop and got on the first best bus that would take him to the graveyard where his mother rest. Baekhyun felt how his stomach hurt a little, even though he knows that his mother probably has it better now than she had before. Baekhyun felt how the memories forced their way upon him as he spotted his mother's grave.

 

 

“Umma...”

 

 

Baekhyun walked over to the grave and sat down beside it as he felt how he sighed a little sad. He wish he didn't have to visit this place. He wish he didn't have to go to the graveyard. But things can't stay as they are, everything has to change. Including your age... but also feelings.

 

Feelings... Baekhyun don't remember when he last thought about his own feelings like this. It was a long time ago he actually thought about how he felt right here and now. Everyone should try to just stop whatever they're doing from time to time and try to feel. Try to understand what they feel.

 

'I always felt... worried and scared, even with Chanyeol around. He was a great friend, but... I never saw him. I remember how he used to smile his warm smile at me, but I can't remember that I gave him a warm smile back. I wish I had, because Chanyeol is a kind person who only mean well... I... I think I like him more than I should...'

 

Baekhyun sighed again as he looked up at the sky and smiled at the snow that slowly begun to fall down from it. It's finally here, the snow. It won't be long before it's Christmas and Baekhyun will probably be all alone... Or maybe Chanyeol can help him? But would he really want Baekhyun around nowadays? Baekhyun don't think he was such a good friend back in time, when he and Chanyeol met.

 

 

~Baekhyun remember that he was always worried about his mother, how she seemed to work to much and overdo so many things that she could have avoided to do. During middle school and the two first years of high school, everything was still good. Baekhyun was happy, he got a new friend named Chanyeol and he didn't get that much bullied thanks to Chanyeol.

 

But after his mother slowly after one winter begun to get sicker and sicker, Baekhyun begun to get worried. Baekhyun still tried to hide the fact to his friends, to Chanyeol that his mother was sick. Baekhyun knew back then that his mother was old, older than others' mothers.

 

Baekhyun was born late, his mother was already 44 years old when Baekhyun was born, and his father was around 47 years old. Baekhyun knew this and he knew that his mother and father would die earlier than others' parents. But he didn't expect his mother to die this early.

 

Baekhyun remember that he almost lost contact with Chanyeol right away after his mother became sick. Baekhyun remember how he didn't feel like to talk that much anymore. And when Chanyeol moved and suddenly didn't try to keep in touch with Baekhyun, Baekhyun thought that Chanyeol didn't want to do anything with him. And Baekhyun has regret that for a log time.

 

After high school, when Baekhyun finally had graduated, his mother became seriously sick. It was that winter, when Baekhyun had turned 19 years old, that she became seriously sick. Baekhyun had no choice, he decided to take his mother to a big hospital in Seoul, like his mother's doctor had recommend. It was expensive, Baekhyun knew that, but he had no other choice.

 

With the money from Baekhyun's passed away father and grandparents, he could let his mother stay at the hospital. She became a little better to the spring, but then to the summer she became seriously sick again. And one year later, when Baekhyun had finally turned 22 years old, she died.

 

Baekhyun's mother died at September the 21^th, and Baekhyun was left alone. He had visited his mother a lot those few years she was hospitalized, but now he was alone and she was gone. And Baekhyun couldn't take it. He didn't have enough of money to stay in college and he didn't feel like telling everyone about this incident.

 

So Baekhyun dropped out of college. He just left after talking to the principal and after that nothing else happened. Baekhyun just found himself a place to live, a pretty good paying job and that is all he had to do. Nothing else. There was nothing else he could do except to mourn.~

 

 

Baekhyun hates this feeling, the feeling that he's all alone. But she's in a better place, she's not in pain anymore, she isn't lying in a hospital bed and look all weak and sick. She's somewhere else where Baekhyun's father is and they're happy. Baekhyun thinks so at least.

 

 

“Please don't worry about me umma, I will be fine... I will be careful and I won't do anything stupid, I promise... Say hi to dad from me will you?”

 

 

Baekhyun sobbed a little as he smiled. He will be okay, he knew that his mother was going to die soon, but not this soon. It might sound weird but Baekhyun has always known that his mother's time was out and it might sound even weirder when he say that he was prepared for it. So it didn't kill him that much when his mother died, he just cried a lot for some days and slowly got used to the thought about it.

 

Baekhyun sobbed once again before he got up and wiped out a tear that streamed down for his cheek. He decided it was time to leave, he has been sitting here by the grave far too long already. Plus, it's soon time to go over to Chanyeol's place, right?

 

 

Chanyeol's P.O.V

Chanyeol had a hard time to decide what to cook for Baekhyun, so he had to walk around in the grocery store for a long time before he had made up his mind. Chanyeol then went home to clean his apartment, it's all messy and he doesn't want Baekhyun to see it like this.

 

When Chanyeol had cleaned everything, he changed clothes and begun to cook the dinner that he had promised Baekhyun. When Chanyeol almost was done with the food, the doorbell rang loud and clear through the apartment.

 

Chanyeol walked fast over to the door and open it with a big white smile. Baekhyun stood shy outside the door and smiled his cute blushing smile at Chanyeol who stepped aside. It's Baekhyun's first time coming to Chanyeol's new apartment, but it feels like Baekhyun still has somewhat already been here. But really, Baekhyun hasn't been here until today.

 

 

“Welcome to my home, I hope you will feel like home as well.”
“Woah, it looks much better than my place.”
“Haha, don't worry about it, your place is pretty cozy as well. Come in, come in.”

 

 

Chanyeol let Baekhyun take off his jacket and shoes on his own as Chanyeol checked the food. The table was already set and Chanyeol had even prepared the snacks and the movie for later tonight.

 

 

“Feel free to look around Baek, I don't mind if you do.”
“Okay, t-then I will.”

 

 

Baekhyun looked around a little, not as much as Chanyeol thought the boy would, but he at least walked around a little in the apartment before he walked in to the kitchen where Chanyeol just finished with preparing the food.

 

 

“There, the dinner is done. Let's eat right away, shall we?”

 

 

Baekhyun nodded with a smile as they sat down by the table and Chanyeol let Baekhyun take some food. They ate mostly under silence, like they used to do when they went to high school. But when they both almost had finished their food, they slowly begun to talk, like they always do nowadays.

 

 

***

 

 

Chanyeol sat on the couch with Baekhyun who looked tired to be honest. Slowly Baekhyun begun to lean his head against Chanyeol, a habit of Baekhyun. The boy does this all the time when he gets tired. Chanyeol smiled as he felt his heart skip a beat when Baekhyun let his warm head rest against Chanyeol's shoulder.

 

 

“Are you tired Baek? Do you want to go to bed?”
“No... Not yet...”

 

 

Chanyeol wanted to laugh as Baekhyun kept lean his head against Chanyeol who felt his heart beat weird. Chanyeol felt how his hand wanted to pat Baekhyun's head, but he's too scared. Scared that he will scare Baekhyun and make the boy avoid him.

 

 

“Chanyeol... Why are you so kind towards me?”
“Because I... like you a lot. You're not like others.”
“You think...? Thanks...?”

 

 

Chanyeol chuckled as he glanced down at Baekhyun who slowly seemed to fall asleep against his own will. It didn't take long before Baekhyun fell asleep. Baekhyun's small body leaned against Chanyeol who carefully put his arm around the boy and pulled him closer. Chanyeol couldn't help but to smile, because right here and now he can pretend that his heart isn't disappointed and hurt. Right now he can pretend that Baekhyun is all his. But that's it, he can just pretend.

 

 

Baekhyun's P.O.V

Baekhyun sat in front of Chanyeol another dinner time, or actually lunch time. Chanyeol has a day off and Baekhyun is actually going to work later today. But Baekhyun don't mind sitting and eating lunch with Chanyeol before he has to go to his job.

 

 

“Speaking of your job, you said that you worked as a errand-boy, right?”
“M-Mm...”

 

 

Baekhyun still feels guilty for not telling Chanyeol the truth, but he can't just tell the giant that he works at a club. Chanyeol would find it disgusting or stupid and make Baekhyun feel like he's some kind of stripper, like the old men and ladies that comes to the club wants him to be.

 

 

“Do you have a lot to do? I mean, you don't work right now during the day-”
“I work for a person who likes to work on the night...”
“Oh, I see. That explains a lot. I'm sorry if I'm taking up your precious sleeping time Baek.”
“I don't mind, I was supposed to be up by now anyway.”
“I have been thinking a little... about college and stuff.”

 

 

Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun with a weird look, like he wanted Baekhyun to tell him something. Baekhyun held in all sighs and the worries as he just kept eat his food and looked up at Chanyeol from time to time. Until the giant finally spoke again.

 

 

“You know that studying is very important, right?”
“Of course I do.”

 

 

Chanyeol stayed silent for some more seconds. Is he trying to be some kind of detective or what? Chanyeol kept look at Baekhyun as Baekhyun cleared his throat, in hope that he could change the topic.

 

 

“How does the studying go for you Chanyeol? You like your new class?”
“Yeah I like them, mostly of them. Though studying isn't that fun, but it's worth it. Else you can't get a good job.”
“Working isn't fun either, trust me.”
“I know, that's why I'm studying, so I don't have to work at a bad place.”
“Mm...”

 

 

Baekhyun just nodded as Chanyeol sighed. Yes, Chanyeol sighed out obviously loud and clear, probably to make Baekhyun to understand what he wanted. But Baekhyun already knows what Chanyeol want and Baekhyun refuse to tell the giant about those things, not yet. Things aren't going that well at Baekhyun's work right now, Baekhyun is struggling with enough things for now.

 

 

***

 

 

“About Christmas... What are you planing to do with your mother?”
“I don't want to talk about that.”

 

 

Baekhyun spoke honest out as he showed some food in to his mouth so he didn't have to talk for much more right now. Chanyeol sighed again. The giant have been sighing a lot lately, and it's starting to get on Baekhyun's nerves. It's not that Chanyeol is helping right now, even though the giant think so.

 

 

“Seriously, when will you start talk to me like you used to do?”
“When I feel for it.”
“Baekhyun... Are you getting mad at me?”

 

 

Baekhyun shook his head as he smiled kind, he doesn't want to argue with Chanyeol. Chanyeol has been a huge support to Baekhyun during those days Baekhyun hasn't felt like eating nor smiling. But since they begun to get so close, after hanging out so much and almost slept over as much as they could, Baekhyun starts to feel uneasy.

 

 

“Uhm Chanyeol... Do you... think we... I-It was nothing.”

 

 

Baekhyun felt how he blushed, he don't know what he tried to ask just now, but it was going to be awkward if Baekhyun actually did ask. Chanyeol and Baekhyun have become closer and closer just the few weeks they have met again. But maybe because they were so close once and can be that once again.

 

 

“What were you going to ask? You know you can ask me anything.”
“Not to be like that, but you're the one who can't ask anything to me. It feels like you're a to big chicken to ask me about stuff. And you seem to be grumpy whenever I don't feel like talking about certain things.”

 

 

Baekhyun can't believe that he actually said that. Chanyeol looked as surprised as Baekhyun felt. Baekhyun was fast to clear his throat and looked apologizing at Chanyeol right away.

 

 

“S-Sorry, I-I don't know what I said. D-Don't listen to me-”
“You think I'm annoying? You think I'm a chicken?”
“N-No! Definitely not! I-I just... I'm sorry Chanyeol, it just has been a lot going on lately.”
“Like what? You still argue with your mother? I can understand that because you have seemed a little grumpy lately. Not to be like that, but whatever you and your mother are arguing about, it's starting to sound like a childish play.”

 

 

Play? Baekhyun felt mad, he don't know why he felt this mad. And the worst is that Chanyeol kept nagging him. Baekhyun held his anger in, he decided to shut up, after all it was all Baekhyun's fault that Chanyeol thought like this. If Baekhyun just had open his mouth earlier and told Chanyeol everything, he wouldn't have to hear all this.

 

 

“And you act like a child lately, and not like a cute child, more like a tired and grumpy one. And you keep push some of our topics away, like about work and college, or about your mother. And you know what, I don't know if you have understood how important college is nowadays. And whenever I'm trying to help you with something, you keep pretend that you don't need me and that you think I'm in your way. And your childish fight with your mother is going to far, you told me yourself that you just argued over some clothes and belongings, right? Then why are you still arguing? Everything should be solved by now. And about your work, I know you haven't complained out loud, but I can see how you sometimes looks like you can kill someone. And you look like you're depressed and it feels like you never talk to me about anything except about me and how I'm doing in school.”

 

 

Baekhyun felt how he couldn't hold his anger down for much longer, he need to change the topic and it's now. Chanyeol is just trying to help Baekhyun, he knows that. But the giant is just... it's just not a good day to talk about this, because Baekhyun has had a hell at work last night, and he came home late and he hasn't slept that well and Chanyeol's nagging is killing him.

 

 

“What a weird flavor you have add to your pasta. What did you do to it? Did you boil it in something special? Or maybe it's the pasta sauce?”
“Baekhyun, please don't try to change topic, I mean it's important that you-”
“Seriously, what have you done to it? It's a really funny flavor? Oh and have you noticed how slippy the streets are? I almost slipped and landed on the ground the other day and-”
“Baekhyun! I'm not joking right now! Stop avoid the topic damn it!”

 

 

Baekhyun went silent and stared at Chanyeol who looked a little pissed off to be honest. Baekhyun can't remember when he last saw Chanyeol pissed off, but it was sure a long time ago. Chanyeol usually doesn't get pissed off that easily, but today was an exception. Baekhyun could tell that Chanyeol wanted to cry, or almost anyway. The giant looked desperate and Baekhyun felt desperate as well.

 

 

“What's wrong with you lately? Baek, I thought...”

 

 

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol who sighed and pulled his hair a little. Baekhyun felt guilty, but the anger was still inside him. It's not a good day for Baekhyun, he already knows that.

 

 

“I really thought I had reached out to you... I thought... that you would tell me everything... But you never did, didn't you? You never see me as someone special... You just use me as a toy... You're so cruel Baek...”

 

 

Baekhyun first felt hurt, but then really mad. Chanyeol truly is a wonderful person, normally. But today was a bad day, especially for Baekhyun. Not just that Baekhyun has to work until late night, he has to stand this argue with Chanyeol. And not just that Baekhyun is scared to go to work since his boss and his rich ladies and men costumers almost has rapped him, but also do Baekhyun feel scared to get robbed or when he goes home all alone.

 

 

“You know what... I'm freaking tired of this conversation...”

 

 

Baekhyun got up, he didn't finish his food, he had lost his appetite anyway. Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun who rushed over to the door and threw his shoes and jacket on. Chanyeol was fast up, he almost jumped up from his sitting position and ran after Baekhyun.

 

 

“W-Wait! Where the hell are you going?! You can't just leave me like this! At least talk to me! Say something! Why are you closing me out?! What did I ever do wrong to not deserve you and your feelings and thoughts?!”
“I have to go... I have work-”
“Don't just leave me I said! Baekhyun, please just take a time out and think about what I have said! I just want the truth from y-”
“I don't care... I don't care what happens to you or what you want... I don't want... I don't want to tell you anything... You're not that special to me anyway... You should go back to your real life and stop go after someone pathetic like me... You fool. It's a Friday night, go to a club or something, get drunk and have with some random guy you find, that's the true you, you idiot...”
“Baekhyun... W-Wait-!”
“Just leave me alone already!”

 

 

Baekhyun felt how the anger boiled inside him. He didn't mean to end their conversation like this. Baekhyun didn't mean to make Chanyeol mad nor sad. But what was done was done. Baekhyun left the apartment after that. He didn't feel like talking anymore, he just wanted to be alone.

 

But if Baekhyun so badly wanted to be alone... why does it feel so painful? Why does the tears stream down for Baekhyun's face if he wanted to be alone so badly? Why does it feel like Baekhyun is the one who's the most hurt between him and Chanyeol?

 

Why does it feel like Baekhyun can't live without Chanyeol? Without the giant's white and cheering smile? Or without the giant kindness? What will happen if Baekhyun really made Chanyeol mad and made the giant to not want to see him again?

 

Baekhyun doesn't have time to think about that, because right now... Right now Baekhyun has work. Baekhyun has other things to think about, like what he should do if his boss try to drag Baekhyun in to his office? Or what if a guest at the club almost manage to him for real? But it still didn't feel okay in Baekhyun's heart.

 

'What's wrong with me? It's not like I haven't argue with him before... But it just... feels worse... Maybe I should try to not think to much about this, maybe next time we meet I have more power to tell him the truth and apologize. Yeah... Let's just pretend nothing has happened for now... Just pretend nothing has happened... like always.'

 

 

Chanyeol's P.O.V

'I'm... such a jerk... Stupid idiot, you just made him feel worse. What am I doing? Why didn't I shut up?! I saw Baekhyun's reaction, and he even tried to shut me up before something bad would happen! Gosh I'm such a jerk! Why can't I do anything right?! All I keep doing is to hurt either mine or Baekhyun's feelings! I can't even have a normal relationship with my own parents! Everything is going against me!'

 

Chanyeol sat crying by the table. The dinner had began well, nothing bad had happened if Chanyeol just hadn't opened his stupid mouth for once. But no, Chanyeol couldn't help it, he just open his stupid mouth and just let all his stupid words slip out of his mouth.

 

His mother warned him about this, that Chanyeol has a too big mouth sometimes. Chanyeol don't know what all those words and frustration came from. He don't know what to say or do to make things right again. Chanyeol wish he could ask Baekhyun for advice, but since it's Baekhyun he's kind of arguing with, he can't ask.

 

'I... I just wanted him to see me... Why is he so cold towards me? What did I ever do wrong? Where did I go wrong? When the hell did Baekhyun become this cold towards me? Is he still mad at me for not trying to stay in touch with him after all those years? Stupid... I just want to love you... Why must it hurt so much to love you...? Baekhyun... I just... I just want you to love me already...'

 

 

“I see... That's where the frustration came from...”

 

 

Chanyeol sighed as he wiped a tear away and sobbed a little. He's having... kind of a heartbreak here. Chanyeol finally understand his own feelings, he truly can understand why he feels so frustrated and annoyed now.

 

 

“Maybe... I should go and...?”

 

 

Chanyeol almost jumped scared when his phone rang some few meters away from him. Chanyeol got fast up, in hope that it would be Baekhyun who has called him. Chanyeol rushed over and grabbed the phone without checking the ID and answered fast.

 

 

“Hello?!”
“Yo Chanyeol~ What are you doing?”
“O-Oh, K-Kai, i-it's you. I-I'm glad that it's you.”
“You don't sound that happy to me.”
“S-Sorry, I just... had a small argue with someone really important to me.”
“Are you okay man? I mean, you do sounds like you need someone to cheer you up.”
“I don't know, I just need to... stop think. I just want to stop to think about everything for the rest of the night.”
“Really? Then... I know exactly how to do that. Hey, come and meet me up at the bar near our school. I will be there in time and I will bring Chen, Kris, Suho and Sehun with me. We see you there soon!”
“W-Wait! Hello?! K-Kai?! Hello?! Darn it!”

 

 

Chanyeol sighed as he sat tired on the floor. He didn't intend to actually make Kai to take him to a bar. What if Chanyeol get drunk? What if Chanyeol do something stupid? He don't want to do that... Though, Baekhyun did tell him to go and do that. To go and get drunk, and screw around with some others.

 

 

“Stupid idiot... Fine, I will go, else it will seem suspicious to the others.”

 

 

Chanyeol sighed as he got up and decided to not change his clothes. Without he took his phone, wallet and keys before he left the apartment with his gentleman jacket and shoes on. Then he walked all the way to the bar that Kai and the others wanted to meet up at. Chanyeol got a feeling that it would be a long night.

 

---

Ayo guys! What's up? So here is the second main chapter! *feels so happy!*

So, a short message from me! I just want to say that it's soon winter holiday for me, here in Sweden, just some few more school days left! But since I have a lot of dance performances right now (like seriously how many can they be?! O_o), it might be hard for me to update many bonuses. But I will try my best! ^.^

Thanks for all your lovely support this far! It's soon Christmas so please enjoy this little fiction! Subs, comments and upvotes are very well appreciated, but up to you! ^.^

That was all I had to say this time! So I see you next time, okay? Great! See you there! ^.^

Peace and love to you all! <3