She managed herself to look steady. But no matter how hard she had tried, her voice was shaking and she barely can stand on her own feet. Shee needs  time. She f’ckn needs time to understand the sentences Yunho had told her this afternoon. The truth about his feeling and the irony that she will marry the one who had killed her own boyfriend in the past.

Everybody could see how tense she was. She got surrounded by people who congratulate her for her marriage. They could see that the bride wasn’t into a long chit-chat and directly went to another guest of the party. She saw her mother and her sister were being snobby to hide Seul Gi’s lack enthusiasm of this party. They show them all the contents of the house and showing off what they wear on this occasion

What an actress, Seul Gi thought. She never knew that her sister could match the snobby attitude so well since she loved to live free out there. Maybe she’s more snobbish and tricky than I thought.

Seul Gi wanted to get herself out of here and asked for the real truth to Yunho. She should or she’ll regret it to the rest of her life. But Yunho’s confessions today prevent her to see him. There’s no way I could see him again, she thought. The more she thought about it, the more she could remember his eyes, his lips, his voice and the way he said that he loves her. It’s thrilling her down to the bottom of her heart.

Do I really fall to him? Do I love him?Her thought kept intriguing her mind nonstop. Should I find the answer or just let it go? No one can save me from this kind of life. I had to live like this and die in this ridiculous game of money and scheme.

“You deserves to be happy...”

His words kept echoing in her head again and again. It made her even harder to breathe. Seul Gi couldnt focus with conversation in front of her. Those people kept babling about the marriage, the benefits, the wedding organizer, the money and blah blah blah

“ Did you hear what Mrs. Shim had said dear?” Her mother asked. She grabbed Seul Gi’s arm hardly and woke her up from her space out

Seul Gi looked up to see everybody were staring at her “ I’m sorry, could you said it again Mrs. Shim?”

Mrs. Shim smiled “ Are you okay dear?”

When Seul Gi was about to answer her mother cut in “ Of course she does...” but Mrs. Shim waiting for her own answer

“ I’m just tired. That’s all.” Seul Gi forced a smile

Suddenly someone accidentally bumped into her. She turned to see a new maid stood there scaredly. Seul Gi looked down to her dress as she saw the red wine she held was spilling over her dress. In the moment like this it would be nice if she just fired her directly. But somehow no words came out. She just stared at her dress blankly

“ You stupid maid! Go inside and pack your things out from this house. Dont even comeback!!” Her mother yelled out of nowhere.

The maid left with teary eyes.

“ I’ll go clean up myself.” Seul Gi said flatly

Seul Gi went to her room to clean up the mess, then come out to the party again, or not. Seul Gi looked herself to the mirror. Seeing the red wine were over her broken white dress. Something caught her eyes.

Again, photo of  Yunho in tux and herself in wedding dress.

She was staring onit for a moment then hurriedly changing her clothes. She ped her long dress and changed into dress, coat and black glasses.

She needs to find her own answer.

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“ You shouldnt have said that!!” Kyuhyun jerked as Yunho informed him that he had said his love confessions to Seul Gi

“ I did.” Yunho replied weakly while his glass of whiskey

“ How could you be this stupid! She’s going to marry someone else in the bloody tomorrow!” He kept shrieking

“ I know.”

Dongwook couldnt understand how mad Yunho was. He may love her, but to confess his feeling just do another mess for her. He knew it for sure “ So, what are you gonna do?” he asked calmly

“ I dont know.”

“ Aisssh! You better do something good!” Kyuhyun snapped again

“ Ya! You’re the one who said that she’ll marry the man who had killed her ex-boyfriend, you said that it’s irony.....” Yunho was getting annoyed “ and I cant help seeing her like that! I love her.”

“ But I didnt asked you to tell her the truth! Let something secret’s secret!” Kyuhyun stood up from his seat. He seemed really frustated

“ Man, you already knew the impact. If she call off the wedding, then the Bae will come to bankrupt, then Seul Gi must pay for the debt dan his father go to jail. Or otherwise, the Kim familly will backstab them and crash them to the ground.” Dongwook explained

“ Yeah I know. I may sound careless, but I dont really care with the family. I’m just care about her. You dont know how teribble they are to her.”

“ May be I dont, but they’re still her familly. Tomorrow is the wedding, I hope you make a right decision. I’ll help as I can.” Said Dongwook

“ Thanks mate.” Yunho smiled slightly

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Seul Gi came out from her Mercedes and knock the door as she arrived. She held her hands tightly to handle her own tense. The door opened

“ Seul Gi Omma!!!” Seo Mi cheered of happiness as she saw her ‘mother’ standing right in front of her

“ Good evening Seo Mi, can I come in?” She bent down to pat the kid’s head

“ Of course omma, halmoni will be happy to see you...” She dragged Seul Gi in

“ Seo Mi? Who’s coming?” Asked Mrs. Jung as she came from the kitchen

“ Annyonghaseyo Mrs. Jung, it’s me Seul Gi.” Seul Gi bowed to the house lady

“ A..Annyonghaseyo Miss Bae. Have a seat here” Mrs. Jung didnt expect her to come and after all the news and her action to fired her son, she felt quite nervous

“ I’m sorry for disturbing you this late, but does Yunho at home?” Seul Gi asked directly

“ Oh I’m really sorry but Yunho is out with his...”

Seul Gi could hear someone walk into the house “ Omma I’m home!!” She looked at his arrival

Yunho stunned as he saw her in his house. He just stood for a second and Seul Gi also said nothing. They were just staring at each other. Sensed the atmosphere, Mrs. Jung opened a sound.

“ Did you eat Miss Bae?”

Seul Gi just smilled and mouthed thanks

“ Okay. I’ll leave you talk then. I’ll just go to sleep with Seo Mi” She left the two of them.

Yunho walked a little closer “ Do you want to go out for somewhere private?”

“ Nah, I’m too tired to go. Are there many people in your house now?” She asked

“ No. My father still at your place for your party and my sister and brother in law still out of the town.”

A/N play this song (skinny love-birdy)

Yunho seated her in the sofa and for the first time after the confessions their eyes met. But Seul Gi looked away

“ I know you want to know about the truth...”

Seul Gi nodded helplessly.

Yunho told her everything he knew about Hyunjoong’s death. She was shivering in agony. The truth about the men she ever love. The one was the savior and the other was the killer. She couldnt hold back her tears, they just spilled freely like a river.

How could I love him in the first place? He even killed my first love and now want to broke me down to a long sorrow...

“ I’m just so stupid....He killed him... and I even ever loved him and tomorrow I’ll marry him.” She said between her sobs

Yunho held her hands “ No you arent Seul Gi. You loved them both with your true feeling. It just one of the other didnt know how much he was blessing to have you love him. I know that Hyunjoong hyung thought you’re the best thing ever happened to him.”

Seul Gi kept crying for 2 hours until she slept on his shoulders. He picked her up to his room and making her the bed for her. He tried his best to not wake her up, but she woke up anyway.

“ Stay here with me...” She made a space for Yunho lying in other side of the bed

“ I dont think it’s a good idea...” Yunho said. Of course he was afraid to himself, what if he couldnt control himself?

She just staring at him longing, Yunho gave up. He couldnt lie to himself. He wanted to embrace her in his arms, being with her, feeling her breaths under his shoulder. Yunho slipped in to the bed and place her on his shoulder.

“ I’m sorry, for fired you up.” Seul Gi said flatly

Yunho smiled a bit “ It’s okay. I do break the rules by the way...”

She looked up as she heard his response “ Are you serious about what you were saying this afternoon?”

“ I have never this sure.” He replied

“ I’ll hurt you...”

“ I dont care. I love you.” he said firmly

Seul Gi closed her eyes for a second, feeling the heartbeat as she hear the 3 words. She have never heard someone who said this words and made her felt like the world stop

“ I’m supposed to live in that world. I’ll live like that and die because of it.”

“ No you dont. Now you have a choice.”

“ I cant chose you even if I want to...”

“ Of course you do.”

Seul Gi sighed “ I’m getting married tomorrow and here I am in your arms.”

“ Do you regret it?”

“ I do. You disguise my decision, you seems like open another door for me, you built me a belief . I dont know what should I pursue... I just,”

“ Do you happy being here with me?” He cut her

“ Yes.” She said simply with no hesitation

“ From all the bad things happened to you. You deserves to be happy. And I wish I could make you happy everyday.”

“ I know. But I cant left them. However they’re my family.”

Yunho took a deep breath “ I know... just... just please keep like this for a while.” He hugged her even tighter

Seul Gi just nodded. She looked up and saw his tender eyes began to teary. She cupped his face and lead him closer. She closed her eyes as he kissed her tenderly. His lips was warm just like his arm. She kissed him back longingly, let him felt her fear and sorrow, because she knew that for a moment he could replace them to joy. God, please let me have this dream for a while and dont wake me up yet. 

to be continued...

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A/N

I'm so so so so sorry since I didnt update for a long long time. I wish that you stick up with my story.

I was busy as hell, and I wish this happy cherish you as your comment cherish me as always :)

thank you for being with this story. sorry for typos or grammar error, there's somthing wrong with my computer :P

wichangmin