Rina stared blankly outside through the window of her university's library. Yoobin's last few words to her repeated in her head like a broken record. She felt hate towards her insecure, indecisive self. She never thought much about how hard it must be for Donghae to wait on her. She ran her fingers over her baby blue, notebook. Her habit of letting her feelings out through writing never left her. She opened it randomly.

 

Winter is here. Naturally it is cold, but I feel more lonely than ever. It also feels like my heart's turned cold. I think I might be hurting Luna too. I'm... a fool. I should meet up with her one of these days. I've been isolating myself from people. My parents are off again and Jay.. Well Jay and I have been over. I think it is time for me to leave this country. That's it, I should do it. When this school year ends, I will definitely transfer. That was always my plan for college anyway. It got pushed back or rather, I compromised all of my plans for Jay. I can to do them now! It's not that I'm running away from him. It's just I feel the need to find myself. After Jay, I hate to admit it but I feel empty. This is what I feared. Getting attached to someone and losing them. I know wherever I go, it won't change unless I change myself. But maybe a new place, a new school and new people will eventually give me new perspective. God, please help me. Guide me.

 

She left her comfort zone because of a mere boy. It sounded pathetic. She needed to breathe new air in a distant land to recollect her thoughts, to become independent again. Yet another boy entered her life.

 

“Is it really time for Donghae and I to be together?” she thought aloud

 

The two met during her second year in university while he was starting his third year. It's only been a year but Rina felt like she's known Donghae longer, as if they were kindred souls.

 

 

 

Rina turned to the next few pages until a doodle caught her eye. It was Donghae's doodle of a hand doing the peace sign. Next to it was written, “I'm sorry.” Rina traced the words with her index finger. Donghae accidentally spilled coffee on one of her journal's pages. She recalls the two of them were taking a break from studying. She found peace in writing while he would just watch her and drink some beverage. He was trying to read what she was writing that time, but Rina covered it with her hand. Out of curiosity, he tried to lean closer to peek but clumsy him almost lost balance, causing drops of coffee to spill out of his mug. He panicked thinking he burned her finger, but Rina was more concerned about her journal.

 

“That klutz,” she said so tenderly.