If you had asked Himchan in the weeks before he knew Yongguk to describe what was "normal" for him, he would've said near constant hand washing, glove wearing, and disinfecting. He would clean his entire apartment, and then he would clean himself. Ridding himself of germs and contaminants was no big deal then.

Now, however, it was hell.

He washed his hands until the bled. He covered the wounds with gloves. Twenty minutes later, like clockwork, he washed his hands again. He still wasn't clean enough.

When he got home from work, he cleaned his apartment. It hadn't been dirtied from the day before, but that didn't matter. It still wasn't clean enough.

After that, he bathed himself. He scrubbed the day's contamination off until his skin was raw. He washed away any possible speck that could've dreamed of existing on his skin but that didn't matter. He still wasn't clean enough.

He would never be clean enough.

He wondered how this so called "progress" had even been possible with the way he used to be and the way he became again. He wondered if the whole thing was just a placebo effect thanks to Yongguk's constant presence. He found himself pathetic in the way that since he had lost crutch in Yongguk, he had reverted back to his old ways.

This was how he spent his days in the week after what he liked to call "the Abandonment". Just cleaning himself and hating himself.

And it felt like hell.

And he looked like hell.

And his heart hurt like hell.

And he was confused as hell.

And frankly, he was tired as hell of the whole damn thing.

*

On the first day of the second week of "the Abandonment", Himchan got fed up. He decided to do exactly what Yongguk said and expand his progress with others. He called Junhong up to his desk once he got an idea of how to go about it.

"What do you need to see me about?" Junhong asked with a blank face.

"Will you hold this pen and then give it back to me?" Himchan asked, handing him the pen.

"Sure....hey! You're not wearing your gloves today. You were wearing them all last week again so we were all worried. But it's good to see that you're better," Junhong said, handing him back the pen.

"Thank you, Junhong," Himchan said, and he began writing a note on a peice of paper with the pen that Junhong had given him.

He finished writing the note and handed it to Junhong.

"Give that to your brother for me, please?" Himchan asked the boy.

Junhong nodded.

Himchan expressed his gratification before getting up and running to the bathroom to wash his hands.

Junhong observed his actions, and, with curiosity getting the best of him, he decided to read the note intended for his brother.

"Please come by tomorrow. I want to show you my progress."

Junhong didn't know what that meant, but he knew that with his brother and his teacher involved, it probably wouldn't end well.

A/n:

Chapter 13 is up! Thank y'all so much for reading and subscribing and commenting. Much love!!!!!