[Luhan’s POV drabble]

It was a bad idea, a really bad idea. Luhan had thrown the invitation in the garbage as soon as he received it. His Mother had fished the ivory creation out of the rubbish, questioning how sick and twisted the Kangs were to send such a thing.

“Remember what they did to you…”His mother had told him, shaking the invitation angrily.

He didn’t respond. Because it hurt.

***

He made it better. Why did he make it better? He asked himself a dozen times – no hundreds of times – after he escaped that god damn elevator. It had been terrifying, being trapped. Luhan had never reasoned out his fear of heights because he knew there was no reason. He was simply afraid of them – always had been, probably always would be.

Seeing Minseok unexpectedly was hard enough. Every time he bumped into Minseok it became more difficult. More difficult to turn away, more difficult to hate him. Three years ago Luhan felt like his heart had been torn to shreds. Now he wasn’t so sure.

Three years ago Luhan trusted, Luhan wanted. And Luhan was used. There was no other way he could really think about it. Minseok had to get married to secure his inheritance, so Minseok had found an easy target – a passionate young man that shunned social norms. Luhan learned his lesson the day Minseok couldn’t answer him, couldn’t tell him the contest was a lie.

The years in China had opened Luhan’s eyes. His family was well off but troubled. The corporate world was ugly, political. Luhan realized his Mother and Father’s disappointment was centered on how he had left them, abandoned the family in their opinion. Luhan had avoided, now he acquiesced. He conformed, he put on a suit and tie and learned the business. He ran from the memory of a certain Korean man with beautiful eyes, he buried himself in work.

Now, after seeing Minseok again, everything in the last three years seemed to be a silly mask for what Luhan really wanted all along - and it hurt.

When Luhan panicked Minseok could calm him down. When Luhan was drunk, needy – he needed Minseok. It was a mess. He wasn’t ready for it. In a few brief encounters he wasn’t prepared.

***

“Are you going to the gala tonight?” His Mother asked, the invitation neatly pieced together. No one would ever know it had been ripped in two.

“No.” Luhan answered, not bothering to look up from the sports page.

“Kris is in town today…”

“And?” Luhan was sick of his Mother trying to set him up with Kris, the only son of a close family friend.

“He asked if you were going.”

“Tell him no.” Luhan stood up, folding the newspaper carefully “I have some things I need to do.”

His Mother, uncharacteristically did not pry further. Luhan had already guessed it was because she had plans of her own – what they were, however, made Luhan extremely nervous.

***

Luhan trailed a finger along the bridge railing, the cold metal rubbing against his fingertips. He had been here before, years ago, with Minseok. A few more blocks and he would be at the apartment. The place he had lived for a few short weeks long ago. A place where he was happy for a time.

It was still painful. He kept walking.

***

It was a really stupid thing to do. But he did it. The pass code was the same, Luhan jumping a bit in shock as he heard the door click open. So he never changed it…

He would have never entered if he thought Minseok might be there. He knew the man was busy at the gala; there is no way he would ever know that Luhan dropped in for a moment. But why did he drop in? The answer was loud and clear as Luhan stepped inside the place. The answer no less subtle in his mind. Because he missed it- because he missed Minseok.

The hall light was on, displaying the long corridor. It hadn’t changed a bit in three years. Luhan walked towards the living room, unconsciously flicking the light off as he reached the end of the hall. The living room was the same too – for the most part. A new dark blue ottoman appeared to be the only addition aside from new coffee table books.

He moved towards the second bedroom first. That is where he had slept when he lived here. Sleeping with Minseok wasn’t an option at the time, because that meant a lot of things- that Luhan’s erted pickup lines were no match for. They had moved too fast already, sleeping together was something they needed to take slow.

Opening the door brought a rush of emotions. He strained his eyes in the darkness, finally flicking on a lamp (that he was surprised was still in the room).

It was the same. He had never changed it. Luhan’s things were still scattered about, the bed was still unmade. Luhan felt dizzy, considering, trying to understand. In three years Luhan had done everything to try to forget Minseok. In three years Minseok had kept Luhan’s things as they were, like he didn’t want to forget. Like he wanted to hang on.

A loud noise broke Luhan’s focus, making him jump. Turning around he made out the sound of the front door opening and closing. He moved towards the sound, hoping it was Minseok.

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a/n- Thank you for the feedback via the comments- I realize I have not given readers a decent look at Luhan’s  point of view. So here it is, short and sweet. I hope that gives some more insight. And if it doesn’t let me know! I appreciate it! –London_Calling <3