After the talk with Jiyong, we keep in touch since he was still new to the place, and I discovered that his apartment is just near the place where my unit is, so he asked me if I could tour him in the place if I have time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So, this Jiyong is your ex, and you two are now good friends"-Chaerin said. I look at her knowing she is up to something.

 

 

 

 

"Lee Chaerin, please, don't give any meaning on that"-I said.

 

 

 

 

"What? I don't! I'm just surprise that you're still friends with your Ex, like come on, it sometimes very awkward, you know, just like me, I don't give a damn to my Ex's, especially when they are saying that 'We can still be friends' , when in the truth, they are just hoping or expecting something from you"-Chaerin said.

 

 

 

"Chae, not all Ex's are like that, yes it will be awkward, but if you both end up in good terms, and maybe don't hide grudges, if can be possible"-I said and turn to my computer to read the new email that is sent. Chaerin sit in the chair in front of me and look at me.

 

 

 

"Well, this Jiyong, is he a good looking one?.. hmm?"-Chaerin. I smile at her and shake my head. Chaerin is a kind of woman likes good looking man.

 

 

 

"Don't worry, I'll introduce you to him one of this day"-I said. "...as of now, you should go back to your office because there are more things to do, it's just morning"-I added.

 

 

 

"Fine..fine..."-She said and stand, putting her hands on her waist. "...remember that you promise me to meet that guy"-She added and wink at me before walking out the office.

==================================================================
When I sign out of the office and about to go home when a car stop in front of me, it's not familiar to me so I step back. The window of the car opens and I saw Jiyong inside.

 

 

 

"Hey! Little Tokki.. want a ride?"-He said and wink. I laugh. He still remember that 'Tokki' thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It depends, if you open the door for me and treat me like a princess, I might say yes MR. Spon-ji"-I said. I saw him pout and I laugh. He went out of the car and open the door for me.

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh thank you Mr. Spon-ji.."-I said and laugh then enter the car.

 

 

 

"Your always welcome Little Tokki"-he said and bow he then went back the the car and smile wide.

 

 

 

 

"Like to have dinner with me Tokki?"-he said and wiggle his eyebrows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sure, as long as your treat"-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

"Then let's go!"-he said energetically.

===========================================================
After we eat dinner, Jiyong drive me home, we talked many things, his life in Japan, his work, about his new work, people he met, my life, etc. Jiyong is really a good companion.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sure she is a gorgeous one, I bet you two will click"-I said smiling at him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Really? Well, I can't wait to meet her"-He said.

 

 

 

 

 

"Maybe on Sunday? Are you free?"-I asked.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sure.. sure.."-he said while nodding. "...I had a good time Dara..."-Jiyong said.

 

 

 

 

 

I smile. "Me too Ji."-I said. He chuckle and pinch my cheeks.

 

 

 

"..I miss it.."-he said. I gave him a questioning look.

 

 

 

"I miss you calling me Ji.. I miss it....Dee"-he said and smile weakly. I smiled at him.

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, been long time.."-I said. He toch my cheeks like he always do and it feels so familiar, even though it's been years, I feel comfortable to his touch. Jiyong is been the most close guy, well, except for Jae, but Jiyong is different, even though we have past, I feel very comfortable. I close my eyes and feel the warm of his touch.

 

 

 

"Dara"-I snap when I heard that familiar voice, I look where he is.

 

 

 

"Jae.."-I said. He glared at us, theres is something in his look. Jiyong give me a questioning look. I look at Jaejoong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jiyong, this is Jaejoong. Jae, this is Kwon Jiyong, a friend"-I said. Jiyong smile and offer his hand at Jae. Jae look at Jiyong and ignore him, then looks at me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Where were you?"-He asked me.

 

 

 

"Jae, I was with Jiyong, we ate dinner"-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And you didn't tell me? That you're with this.."-He said and pointed at Jiyong. I glared at him.

 

 

 

 

 

"Wait man, I have a name you know"-Jiyong said smiling. Jae turn his gaze at him.

 

 

 

 

"That I don't give a damn care"-He said. Jiyong smirk at him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jaejoong...stop this"-I said. He look at me.

 

 

 

 

 

"Stop what? You, stop this...this..damn Sandara!"-Jaejoong yelled.

 

 

 

 

"Hey... hey Man, don't yell at her"-Jiyong said and walk between me and Jaejoong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh, you stop! It's non of your business"-He said.

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, but Dara is my business,"-Jiyong said. Jaejoong give him a smug face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dara? How in the hell she became your business?"-He said.

 

 

 

 

 

"Jae, please stop this,"-I said.

"No..no.. Dara... Is this the reason huh? That's why you can't...that's why you're not willing to fix this relationship!"-He said. I breath deeply.

"Jaejoong, look, let's talk about this next time, you're angry"-I said.

"Next time? Dara? Damn, you said that weeks ago Dara, and still, you won't talk to me and now.. now... I will see you with your Ex!"-He said

 

 

 

"Hey.. hey.."-Jiyong said slightly pushing Jiyong.

 

 

 

 

"Don't you dare push me!"-Jaejoong said and push Jiyong.

 

 

 

 

"STOP!"-I yelled at them, they both look at me. I shake my head and walk towards Jiyong.

 

 

 

 

"Ji, you better go now, Thanks for the dinner and the ride"-Dara said.

 

 

 

 

"But Dee, I can't let you alone with this man"-Jiyong said.

 

 

 

 

"No, no, Ji, it's okay, I can handle it."-I said. Jiyong shook his head and hesitate but nodded.

 

 

 

 

"I'm just one call way Dara"-He said. I nodded, he give Jae one last glare before walking to his car and drive away. I then turn to Jaejoong.

 

 

 

 

"Jaejoong, let's talk, follow me"-I said. We went to a coffee shop near the area and order a cup of coffee before we talk.

 

 

 

 

"Dara... I-I'm sorry.. for my behavior.."-Jaejoong said.

 

 

 

 

"I know Jae, but that is very, very not you. Look Jiyong is a friend, I admit we have past, on my college days, but that is in the past, we are friends now, very good friends and nothing is happening between us"-I said.

 

 

 

"I know, I know, I trust you Dara but I don't trust that guy, he is still into you, the way he looks at you, I see it"-Jae said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look Jae, Jiyong is like that since I can remember when, he's a very passionate person, even in his friends, I know him, I trust him, maybe he is still have feelings for him, but that is because he cares about me. We are good friends, we end GOOD, we don't have anything to clear off or hidden grudges or didn't have closure."-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

"But Dara, I can't help it, you let him touch you, affectionately, and it seems you enjoy it!"-He said.

 

 

 

 

"It's because I am comfortable with him Jae, and I guarantee you, there is no such thing about us except for being friends"-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, Jessica and I are friends too, yet you act like there is something about us"-He said. I shook my head and look at him.

 

 

 

 

"Jae, that is different from what Jiyong and I have. First, you both ended in a bad situation, and as I can remember, it takes you long to move on. Second, you both don't have a proper closure, which is I know even now, is not clear to both sides and Last, I know which is to be my priority, which is my PAST and which is my PRESENT. Listen Jae, it's not that I am complaining or making a stopper, it's just that, I can see, no, I can feel what we both need, what you need, an that is time, space, think of it. Yes, I know you love me, but I know, deep in you that you...you s-still love her, you cherish her, your not ready to let her go...it's you, you that can't let go."-I said and hold his hands.

 

 

 

 

"B-But Dara, we better face it together.. I swear, I don't love her anymore Dara, I just need some closure and that's it. I just need time"-He said.

 

 

 

 

"Time? you have it all Jae, you need closure, but if really need it, why don't do that when you first visit her? Then the other day, or even when when you last visit her? That's how it is Jaejoong, you can't do that because your still holding on, because you don't want to".

 

 

 

 

"Dara, I only want you, I only love you."-Jaejoong said.

 

 

 

 

 

" Yes, You love me, you want me, but WANT is different from NEED, I prefer that you will Need me than Want me.. sometimes, there are people saying that they move on, but they don't know that half of their self are still holding on that past, that's you Jae, I only have half of you, and the half is still tied on Jessica, I don't need a person who is half, I can't gamble myself in that, you know how much I love you Jae, You know that and you know how much I am hurting now. I need someone who can give me his whole self. Maybe that's what Jiyong and I have in the past, I have him for myself, and not half of him. I need you to understand that I am doing this not for you but for me also, I need to you think more Jae"-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

Jaejoong looks at me. " Jae, please, understand, collect yourself, I know that you still feel the same way to Jessica, your just denying it, I want you to accept it, even if it hurts, I can accept it too, we both need it"-I added. Jaejoong close his eyes for a minute and look at me again.

 

 

 

 

"I-I Dara.... I-I'm sorry...Y-Yeah, you're right..just,.....S-Sorry babe...sorry...yes, I still love her"-He said and bow his head. I smile and a small tears fall down to my eyes, even though I know, even though I said to myself that I accept it, it still hurts to hear it from him, that he's still love her, that I only have half of his heart. I give a slight squeeze in his hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I understand, Jae, now we're both free, you should accept it, I accept too, long time ago, you should collect your thoughts, maybe spend time with her, then think of all, if your still love her after all those years, I am willing to let you go, I don't want a person who is still holding in the past, I need a person that is walking with me in present and future. We both need to let go"-I said. He looks at me and I can see tears in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"D-Dara, i-if ever, will you w-wait for me?"-Jae asked. I give him a weak smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't know Jae, it's too difficult, holding in a person and not sure of my place, maybe I'm still near you, but I can't promise to wait longer but I am willing to accept you again if you will be the whole person I need."-I said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Dara, I can't, please... just give me time, I will fix this, everything, just hold on"-He said. I shook my head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, Jaejoong, I can't, it will just hurt me more, I need to breath, I need to"-I said. He just shook his head repeatedly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wait for me Dara, please... just..."-he said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'll try Jae, I'll try, for now, we need to really end this... for now, we need to walk on separate ways,"-I said. I pull my hands from him and stand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jae, I love you, you know that, I planned my life with you, see my future with you, that's how much I love you, but for now, we need to change it, I need to see my future, just myself"-I said. Jae just nodded, I walk beside him and put my hands on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I love you Jae, and it hurts so much, I don't want to let go, but I don't want to share, I'm being selfish, yes, because I love you so much, and I can't stand to be the NEXT option or the second best. I want you whole, and I know you can't give that to me, so, I'm letting you go"-I said and kiss him, we shared and loving kiss, the sweetest yet bitter kiss I've ever had. The one that seal our goodbyes.