Jaejoong’s perspective

6 months had passed since our baby Changmin had left TVXQ and Yunho. We rejoined SM and DBSK officially 5 months ago and had practiced our new and old choreographies over and over again until they were perfect. We had tried out the new costumes, had worked out, endured long and tiring vocal lessons and hours in the studio until everything sounded perfect…But nothing was going to be perfect again. For sure TVXQ had reunited…but Changmin was gone so nothing could ever be the way it was supposed to be. Neither did we feel as happy as we shoul. Especially Yunho was depressed…he smiled for the audience and the fans but we saw him crying silently in his pillow at least once a week…Of course I could understand him well. He loved Changmin more than anything and he was the most important person in my friend’s life. We had tried to contacted our baby boy but he changed his phone number and moved out of his parent’s house as his mother had told us. When we confronted Kyuhyun to get the phone number of our former member, we found out that Kyuhyun didn’t have any contact with Changmin either. For sure the Maknaes had promised each other to meet regularly and to keep the contact but obviously Changmin never planned to keep his word.

I didn’t understand our Maknae…he could have everything he ever wanted: Yunho, his band as it used to be, success, great friends, a loving fandom, a perfect family and could even have a family himself with Yunho…So why did he run away like that? Was there something Changmin was afraid of? Something Changmin didn’t tell Yunho before he decided to leave? The only person who could answer all of our questions was Changmin himself but how should we find him?

8 months after our comeback in Korea we had our comeback with our new Japanese album. Unfortunately nothing turned out to be as we thought it would. The audience was not satisfied with our songs and choreographies…We knew that they only were complaining about our formation and not about our performances in general but it still hurt really badly. We never expected this bashing against us and hide for a while in our dorm making new plans with the agency…because SM was afraid TVXQ could disband again if we did not have success, they convinced us to have a “bro night” which was stupid…basically it was us sitting on the couch staring on a black flat screen TV. “Yunho…do you maybe want to tell us how you are feeling? I mean…you need to tell someone so we can try to help you…” “Help me? The only way someone can help me is to bring back my Changmin. He suddenly disappeared out of my life after we had a really bad fight and I regret everything I did…I only wanted Changmin to stay with me and TVXQ and wanted him to be happy…I thought surprising him would make him happy but I didn’t think about his feelings…I should have known that he would misunderstand everything and would basically run away. It is only my fault he’s gone now because he would have been happy if I’d told him that we’re going to have a comeback as 5 by myself before I planned everything…Damn it, I should have just told him! Now everything is over…I’m never going to see him again and I can’t get him out of my mind…his smile, his eyes, his body, his laugh…everything is haunting me day by day and I feel so guilty…guilty because I ruined his dreams. Everything I wanted was just to be with him forever!” Junsu tried to calm down our crying leader but it was useless. Yunho was not going to be happy without Changmin…he wouldn’t smile again without him. It was just a matter of time until Yunho would quit and I was sure we didn’t have much time left. I needed to find Changmin no matter what before everything was too late…before Changmin would disappear and would have no way back to TVXQ and us anymore.

Flashback

“I’m serious Changmin…if you will not come back in between the first year there is no coming back for you anymore and I know you want to come back” “You’re right, Hyung…Right now I’m thinking like that but I don’t know whether I still want to come back after some months. Maybe I will enjoy the life without TVXQ and you guys…maybe I will have settled down, found a girlfriend and want to spend my life with her.” I just laughed at our Maknae back then “Idiot, we both know that’s not going to happen. You’re never going to stop loving Yunho or Tohoshinki so there’s no way this is going to happen. We both know you will come back, Shim Changmin. Until then, take care. I know we will perform together again soon.”

When I had said this I really believed in my words…but I am dubious about Changmin coming back now. Maybe he really settled down with some girl? Maybe he wanted to marry her? Maybe he already had children? Oh no…now I started worrying too much about it…he still had 3 months and first we had to take care of our problems in Japan before we could actually welcome him back…and being worried about him having children? Seriously, there was no way he could have children already, right? On the other hand I always thought Changmin was straight as an arrow…I think I should do pursue some investigations.

(Jaejoong found out that Changmin wasn’t married and wasn’t the father of some children when he interrogated Changmin’s sister…)

There is only one chapter left now!!! Stay turned for the end and remember you can ask me to write a sequel :)