[CONTENTID2] CHAPTER 2 [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

“Have you heard about exposure therapy, Mr. Kim?”

I’ve read about that therapy before; it’s a therapy that involves exposure the patient to the situation that sparks anxiety to the patient without any danger in order to overcome their anxiety. There are studies that prove its effectiveness but I still have my doubts.

“I have,”
“Good. Do you have a piece of paper and a pen with you?” he asks.
“I have my notebook,”
“Ah, yes, that will do,”

I sweep my gaze across his table and find a pack of tissue. I take out several sheets and spread them on the table, big enough for my notebook before finally placing my notebook above the tissue. I can see that doctor Wu is watching my action thoroughly but he keeps silent about it. I take out my pen and uncap it.

“I want you to list down ten things that you are reluctant to do; number ten being an act that you can never do and number one is something that you still able to do if you manage push yourself  through it,”

I look at him then at the blank page of my notebook.

“For example, shaking someone’s hand without your gloves,” he adds.

I am completely disgruntled by the idea. My chagrin must have been very obvious on my face because I can see the corner of doctor Wu’s lips twitched upwards. I pick up my pen and begin writing down the ten things doctor Wu told me. I paused mid-air after I write ‘1’; I don’t know what to write. My life has been simple to me; I don’t want to touch or to be touched.

I bit my inner cheek and began to write. It’s going to be trickier than I thought. I put down my pen after what it seems an eternity later and turn the notebook so doctor Wu can read the ten things I wrote.

Touch the doorknob bare hands.

Let someone pat me on the shoulder.

Let other people touch my things without disinfecting them afterwards.

Touch other’s things without disinfecting my hands afterwards.

Lend my pen.

Shake hands with someone bare hands.

Eat and drink in a restaurant.

Hug or be hugged by someone.

Let someone into my apartment.

“You left the last number blank,” he said flatly.                          

I am tongue-tied, I can’t think of anything worse than letting someone into my apartment.

“As you wish then,” doctor Wu smiles.
“So, I will have you to practice the ten things you wrote. I believe once we reach number nine, you’ll find something to write on number ten and once you are able to practice number ten, you’ll be cured,” doctor Wu adds.

I nod slowly. My mind keeps going over and over all the ten things I wrote and begin to regret every single one of them. There is no way I’ll be able to do all of them. Doctor Wu stands up and walks towards the door.

“Oh, the first counseling will be free and… this is just between you and me, I will give you 30% off if you manage to cross one thing off of that list,”
“Do you do this to all of your patients?”

He faces me and a nonchalant smile is resting on his lips.

“Sort of, depends on their condition. I also ask my patients to call me Kris so they would be more comfortable,” he smiles.

I pay the fare of the counseling before walking out of his office. When I spare the door of his office a back glance, I saw him leaning against the threshold with a smug smirk. I don’t know why but I can feel my cheeks heated. I scoffed and walked out of the clinic.

“See you next week, Mr. Kim,”

+++

Even after one week, I can’t bring myself to accomplish the first task. I look at my watch, I have an appointment with Kris in fifteen minutes. I guess I am going to pay the full fee today. I enter the clinic and tell the reception that I have appointment with doctor Wu. She immediately tells me to go to his office.

He is not in yet so I took the liberty to sit down on the couch. As usual, my back is straight; refraining myself from touching the backrest of the couch. I look around a