[CONTENTID2] CHAPTER 11 [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID1]

 “We can stay here until you calmed down or we can head to my place, which one would be your choice?”

I look at him and shake my head.

“I am sorry but I don’t think I should be around you…” I whispered.

He nods understandingly. He hailed a cab for me and as soon as I got home, I took a cold shower.

I doubt Kris would want to see me again after that.

+++

“Hey, Junmyeon!” Eunji greets.

Her hair is shorter than the last time I saw her but she still has the same bright smile. I couldn’t help but to smile as well.

“How was the trip?”

She lets herself into my office, lays a piece of napkin then settles her lunchbox on my desk. She looks me with an ‘are-you-kidding-me’ gaze.

“It was a business trip, Junmyeon. Nothing exciting happened,” she groans and sits down on one of the chairs. “How about your weekend?” she asks back.

I cough at the question, my head is starts to filter the things I could discuss with Eunji and the things I should not discuss with Eunji. I started with the successful dates I had with Kris, told her that the furthest we go is shaking hands. When I told her that, I can see signs of laughter threatening to escape her. She is doing poorly to conceal that but I don’t mind.

It is kind of lame when the only progress between me and Kris is shaking hands. I told her about me befriending Do Kyungsoo. She joked about how I shouldn’t replace her with him. I can never replace Eunji with Kyungsoo, they possess completely different personalities.

“I guess that’s good, you and Kris are seeing each other. Did Kris say anything about this?”
“He told me that he is interested in me and he asked if I feel the same way,”
“What did you tell him?”
“I haven’t answered him,”
“What?!? Eh, why?”
“Because I wasn’t sure when he asked,”
“How about now?”
“Another accident happened last Saturday. I screwed up and I haven’t called him since,”
“But today’s Tuesday..”
“Exactly,”

Eunji rolls her eyes in annoyance. She finishes the last piece of her cherry tomato before packing up her lunchbox and wipes my desk.

“If you interested in Kris, you should at least try to clear up things or you guys will be running in circles,”

As much as I don’t want to admit that she is right, well, she is right. Once again, I had to it up and apologize to Kris for whatever I inflict between both of us. I guess it is safe to say that I am also interested in him because I am trying this hard. I just can’t imagine my life without Kris. He was the first one who initiated to attend therapies and he’s been helping me to overcome my phobia.

I don’t care if I am interested in him because I have a certain dependency towards him, I simply can’t imagine not seeing Kris. That Saturday, I asked Kris to see me. Surprisingly, he agreed. I told him that I’ll be waiting at the tea house with the traditional concept at four. When he arrives, he takes a seat across me.

“I want to apologize about what happened last week,” I bow my head. “I am sorry if I disgusted you in a way and I understand if you don’t want to see me again,”
“I know I haven’t made myself clear on this but I like you, Junmyeon,” he says firmly. “And it’s not an attraction, I find myself slowly falling for you. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for,”

I look at him, utterly surprised on what he just said.

“At first, yes, I found you interesting and I would like to study you even further but I found myself falling for you slowly. I have crossed a work ethic, that’s why I stopped being your counselor. Seeing you make me want to touch you even more,” Kris explains.
“I am falling for you and I will make you fall for me too,” he adds.

The world around us blurs, the chatters and the sound of ceramics clinking sounds distant. I can’t believe that the man in front of me is falling for me.

“I… I am attracted to you. I don’t know if I like you the way you like me or it’s just some sort of dependence,” I begin. “You’ve helped me a lot and somewhere along the way, I have become dependence of you and I—,”
“Junmyeon, would you let me to make you fall for me?” Kris asks with a certain calmness I would never possess if I were the one who asked that kind of question.

I think I’ve misheard what Kris said. I can’t bring myself to look into Kris’ eyes, I can’t even open my mouth to say something. My hands are gripping tightly at the edge of my seat and the pounding in my chest has reached my ears. It seems like my whole system shuts down, I can’t even think of an answer for Kris.

“I-it’s not like I can stop you anyway..”

The corners of Kris’ lips tugged upwards. He sips his tea with ease before extending an arm to me, a gesture for me to shake his hand. I peel off