The car ride to their house wasn't very long, or maybe it was. I couldn't tell because of the memories that were being made during that time. ChanYeol sat in the backseat with me while KyungSoo drove off into the streets. We talked about whatever came to mind and even though I felt more comfortable with the two, I had chosen to keep my mouth shut about my past, for I didn't want to say anything that would make them like me any less.

      Once KyungSoo pulled into the driveway of a three story house, I clenched my jaw together. I had never lived in such a big home before and it had been a long time since I lived with other people. How was I supposed to act?

      KyungSoo went around the front of the car and opened my door for me but I hesitated. As I stayed looking into his big eyes, I swallowed hard and brought out each leg, one by one until they both touched the dark concrete of the driveway. Instinctively, I held onto his arm and pulled him in front of me—But what was I afraid of? Was it that big, blue colored home? Maybe the dull garden just a foot away from the front of the house that was fading due to the harsh Autumn? Or perhaps, was it because I had experienced too much for being alone all these years?

      "It's okay," KyungSoo grasped my hand into his own and saw through my uncertain thoughts, "Everyone in this house is kind. You don't need to worry."

      As if he approved his statement, ChanYeol put an arm around KyungSoo's shoulder and the two walked before me. I hid behind the taller men and walked cautiously towards that white front door. The secrets that would be told behind it and the stories that would be given had questions running through my mind: Was I ready for such things? Was I ready to open up to people?

      Before KyungSoo could grasp the door, I turned away and ran back to the car. I was so afraid that I began dooubting even myself: How could I have let my guard down so fast? I barely knew KyungSoo and ChanYeol, so how could I have trusted them so easily? I hid behind the Lexus and watched as KyungSoo walked over to me with light footsteps.

      He sat down next to me and stretched his long legs towards the end of the driveway. KyungSoo became silent, as if he were giving me more time to think about this sudden situation.

      "It's okay," he patted my head and handed me a silver key.

      "What's this?"

      KyungSoo looked up, as if trying to search for an image in the clouds, "It's a spare to the house."

      "I-"

      "It might take a while," he started, "But I know that you'll come to love this place. We made memories here, we laughed here, we cried here... and now I want to make the same memories with you."

      As I blinked at his sudden pour of emotional sentences, I held the key close and took a deep breath. KyungSoo stood up and took my hands into his and helped me to my feet. Once I was there, I had stolen a peek into his wonderful eyes. They honestly told me, "It's going to be okay."

      "You two ready?" ChanYeol called from the door.

      "Be right there!" KyungSoo held my cold palm onto his warm ones and we walked confidently towards the big door.

      Upon arriving, ChanYeol flung the door open and revealed eight chattering men who were smiling brightly as they called my name. Swallowing the knot in my throat, I bowed and tried to look at them in the eye but failed and turned into KyungSoo's chest.

      "Guys, let her wash up first," he said while he my hair gently, "She doesn't remember anything very well, so after she's done, you re-introduce yourselves."

      They all nodded and ran back into the house, taking their chattering with them. The white tiled hall was now empty except for the shoes of the men who lived here and soon, my own shoes would be collected. ChanYeol handed me a pair of slippers that were definitely much too big for my own two feet and slid on his own.

      "There are only guys living here," he said with that wide smile of his, "I hope that doesn't scare you."

      I shook my head, "It's something.. new."

      "That's good,"

      ChanYeol walked further into the house and disappeared around the corner of the hall, leaving KyungSoo to stay by my side. With him leading me, I was given a tour of the big house. The living room was located in the middle of the first floor and was surrounded by various tables, chairs, and couches. When walking into it, the first thing I saw was the big glass windows that rested directly across from the white hall.

      The second floor was a bit different: once we reached the top of the brown carpeted stair case, a door that seemed to lead into a room read, "Tao's AB-Style Room." That made me chuckle a little and it helped to lighten up the tense mood that I was feeling. When I turned to the left, a big hall welcomed me. It had five doors to our right and they were about forty feet away from each other—SeHun, SuHo, Lay, XiuMin, and Kai. To the left, there were workout and dance room, even some offices to work.

      At the end of that hallway, came a black, metal, spiraling staircase that led into an immense rectangle gap in the wall. It was a strange way to get to the final level of the house but also, unique. I liked it. Finally reaching the top of the stairs, we were greeted with a vast sitting area that even had bean bags and a TV on the wall to the right. As I walked further down the hall and away from the area, I came to meet five remaining rooms: Chen, BaekHyun, ChanYeol, KyungSoo, and at the very end was a unique door. It was located next to a window that looked over the trees in the neighborhood, and shared hinges with KyungSoo's door.

      "This will be your room," ChanYeol tapped on it's white wooding lightly, "I'll be just one room down, so if you ever want to-"

      "What the is wrong with you?" a shorter man gawked at ChanYeol, "What are you thinking?"

      "You didn't let me finish! I wasn't going in that direction!"

      The man and KyungSoo teasingly laughed at ChanYeol but I stood there reaction-less. It wasn't that I couldn't understand what they were talking about, it's that I was taking in how they joked to one another. I was still trying to analyze every little thing so that I could give them some kind of reaction as well;

      "Like I was saying," ChanYeol playfully pushed the two aside, "If you ever want to learn about music, come and see me."

      After they all left, KyungSoo went into his room and pulled out a pair of sweats and one of his own jumpers. I got a glimpse of what a man's room looked like, and surprisingly, his was very clean. At that time, I thought that men would have dirty rooms, even more dirty than my own apartment but he proved me wrong.

      "These might be too big for you," he put his clothes, shampoo, and a tye-dye colored towel into my small hands, "There's a bathroom in your room."

      "Thank you.."

      I watched KyungSoo's back figure while he walked away and sat in the sitting area to wait for me. Though he was short compared to the other men who lived in the house, he was the most mature and that's what caught me. His figure alone was enough to jolt my silent heart.

      Shaking the thoughts away, I squeezed my thin, gold-painted door lever and pushed down on it slowly and flung it inwards. Though they were joined a the hinges, I was amazed that it didn't budge KyungSoo's door at all. This house had to be built some magical way—That's what I thought anyway.

      I was always so used to seeing bugs and clothes thrown everywhere that seeing a clean room felt a little different. I only had one window and it sat directly across from the room door. It was big enough for me to sit on it's window sill, so it didn't matter that I only had one. In front of it, was a small couch and an alarm table. Next to that, was the glorious bed. Big, green and not too showy—Just how I liked it.

      After stepping into the bathroom, I felt as though I had lived like a bum for the past three years that I was by myself and it was entirely true. If ten boys could live together and keep things so clean, what was so wrong with me that I couldn't keep my life straight?

      I remembered the names that I read and the only ones familiar to me beside ChanYeol and KyungSoo were SuHo.. and BaekHyun. I knew SuHo because he was my doctor back at the hospital but.. BaekHyun. His name alone reminded me of my painful past. I couldn't quite grasp it yet but I knew he was important.

      "Are you done?" a knock came at my bathroom door, "We were planning to party."

      Noticing that it was KyungSoo, I quickly rinsed out the manly scented shampoo from my hair and ran straight for the door. Upon opening it I realized that I didn't have a towel on and shut the door before he could see anything.

      "HaNeul?"

      "I-I'll be there!"

      I tugged at my own face due to the mini-heart attack that I just caused myself. Though I didn't have a body to look at, it was still embarrassing. I was so used to living by myself that I even brought walking around with me. Sighing deeply, I slipped on KyungSoo's clothing but noticed that they were sliding off of me. After several different tries, I gave up and let my wet hair fall behind my shoulders, revealing my bruised collar bones.

      I took a moment and looked at the scars and bruises that I inflicted on myself. I was ashamed but what could I do? No matter what, they were there for everyone to see. The more I stood there looking at myself, the more negative thoughts poured into my voice.

      As if grasping for hair, I leaned down towards the marble tiles of the floor. This is a time for a new start, I told myself, So, please, stop.

      Walking out confidently, I held KyungSoo's sweats up to my waist and walked into the sitting area where KyungSoo still sat—He was laying on the white couch and still of movement. I looked at the TV but saw that there was nothing playing and wondered if he had fallen asleep.

      "KyungSoo?" I came closer to him, "Are you really sleeping?"

      Just when I came close enough, I was taken aback by the sudden widening of his own eyes. They gave my quite of fright and I ended up hitting my bottom on the carpet.

      "Yah!" I glared at him, "Don't scare me like that!"

      KyungSoo's eyes widened once more, due to the loud and sternness of my voice. I, too, became surprised, for this was the second time I rose my voice. I was very happy but I was noticing the change. Was it good?

      "I'm glad you're feeling better," he smiled while helping me to my feet, "I was afraid that you'd stay crying in your room."

      "I wasn't crying,"

      "I know.. but you're still scared of this new experience," he stole the words out of my mind, "But I don't want you to worry."

      He took a look at how his own clothes fit on my small figure and sighed, "I think we need to go clothes shopping."

      "Eh?"

      "Of course, not right now," he took my hand and dragged me down the stairs, "I want you to try the food I made."

      The first bite of his Kimchi Pasta was the most frightening. I didn't know if I would throw it up or if I would make the face that I didn't like it but, I did like it. It tasted so good, I didn't even care to ask what he put in it, I slurped it all away until the plate itself was clean of any residue.

      "Wow,"

      All of a sudden, I felt as though KyungSoo was going to judge me but he clapped brightly;

      "My Kimchi Pasta has been approved!" he called for the others, "Dig in!"

      Though I wanted more, I knew that I shouldn't because my body was still trying to heal itself and if I binge-ate, I would have definitely thrown up anything that KyungSoo cooked. So, I stood off to the side and watched the hungry wolves eat. With every bite, I became sentimental and I began to feel sorry. If I didn't take so long, they would have already eaten their full.

      "Now!" ChanYeol's megaphoned voiced screeched into my eardrums, "Let's begin the Introductions!"

      Supposedly, I knew them all in high school but I only remembered having one friend—KyungSoo. That made me feel sorry for them because they knew me and yet they had to reintroduce themselves. So, even if it was tedious but each of them came to me, telling my their height, weight, blood type and their own name. I didn't think I needed to know but whatever made them happy, I let them do it. My poker face was on until the last person came to introduce himself, it was BaekHyun. I remember turning away from his doll-like-eyes and and searched for KyungSoo's own. I couldn't stare at him any longer than what I had done already. Even though I knew that he was hurt by it, I couldn't help it.

      "I guess.." I heard his embarrassed tone, "I'll have to introduce myself another time."

      "L-Let's do that," ChanYeol tried to cheer up the awkward atmosphere, "Let's all go to the mall."

      "Yeah, she definitely needs to wear something other than Hyung's clothes," SeHun exclaimed with his high pitched laugh, "Let's go!"

      When all the others left to the three separate cars, I rode alone with ChanYeol and KyungSoo once more. I knew that they had a lot to say to me and so, I sat quietly by myself in the backseat for KyungSoo and ChanYeol sat in the front of the Lexus.

      "BaekHyun.." ChanYeol broke the dead silence that was rising in the car, "Did he do something wrong?"

      "I-It's not that.." I stuttered, "He.."

      "Okay, okay," KyungSoo said as he tapped ChanYeol as a signal for him to stop, "You'll take a walk with BaekHyun."

      I felt my heart sink to my stomach.

      "KyungSoo-ah, you can't do that-"

      "No, this is a good chance for her." KyungSoo looked into the viewing mirror and searched through my expression, "It's only something the two of them can fix."

      Once we parked in the parking garage, KyungSoo walked over to BaekHyun and fed him what we had just talked about. I watched him nod with a bright smile, playfully punching KyungSoo's arm, as if he knew what to do.

      Then, the nine of them left, leaving me to stand alone with BaekHyun. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide. I just wanted to try something to get away from him but I knew that this had to be done, plus, KyungSoo told me to do it. I should listen to the one who helped me the most.

      "I don't understand," BaekHyun spoke calmly as we walked slowly towards the entrance of the mall, "I only remember doing well to you.."

      I walked silently next to him and listened to what he had on his mind.

      "I never once did something to make you turn away like that-"

      "It's not that you did anything," I stopped in our tracks, shouting my heart to him, "Seeing you makes me remember my painful past. It haunts me, okay? I can't do anything about it..."

      "Then why is KyungSoo different? He told me you remember him.."

      "The way I was towards you just now, that's exactly how I was towards him when we first met." I had tears welling up in my eyes, "I was so scared of that wretched past, so scared that I ran away from him.. but he came to me, comforted me.. and told me it was okay."

      "Did I not do the same?" he took my shoulders into his delicate hands, making me face him, "HaNeul-ah.. Everything will be okay."

      As if he were a magician, just saying those five words triggered my memory and the times I spent with BaekHyun came out of nowhere. I was suddenly brought to great tears and he tugged me closer to his thin chest. Though he couldn't comfort me like KyungSoo could, he was trying and that was all that mattered. I felt remorseful towards him, and I had mentally beat myself up for not remembering someone so important like him.

      Out of the many memories, I recalled one special encounter: I was stuck in a long-term depression and I wouldn't leave my room. BaekHyun came up to my house, climbed through my window and waved at me with his forever-smiling eyes.. And to this day, I could still remember his smiling face, telling me: Everything will be okay.