A/N

Sorry that I haven't update for a while. So ~ I have the whole chapter 11 in progress , there are three parts for this chapter so far (lols) , so hope that you anticipate this since I will update each part everyday , or do double update (depends) . Comment and subscribe are highly appreciated <3 

 

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FINAL ( i )

 

 

Himchan widen her eyes as she is trying to grasp of what she just heard.  'what did he just said??????????????????????? Am I dreaming?????????? '

 

 

"Himchan?" a voice heard after a long pause. 

 

" Channie? errrr , did I make you stutter? well ehm...I-I didn't m-mean to. I-If you are ...ehm...not okay with it , I will just...ehm....well , its okay" .a weird chuckle heard at the end. He must be embarrased , thought Himchan while smiling to herself hearing a 'strong' person like Yongguk stuttered like that , but ....

 

" ehm , I am here "

 

" ouh "

 

" I ... ehm ... to be honest....idk what to say " she blinks slowly while performing an assuring smile that nobody can see. Honestly , she is quite shocked hearing that he can ask her that question. Whilst the long awkward silence happened , lot of things running in her head of what she feels about it.

 

 

" W-what do you think about it? " Yongguk say it slowly.

 

" I....I guess that I should think about it? (chuckle) , I do think that I am quite not ready for this kind of thing but ... I guess that I need some time too , if ... if you dont mind "

 

" oh yeah , sure sure. I am in no position to rush anything for you and I do think that I am the one who abruptly saying this to you when....well , sorry Channie..."

 

 

 

The call end after they 'played' push and pull , while saying Sorry , It's Okay , I Don't Mind , Nevermind  etc most of time in the conversation. Himchan stares at the road , seeing nothing but the whole picture of how if Yongguk and her end up as couple , out-of-sudden and plus , she can't deny that she likes him as more than good friend but she seems lost a bit that she needs some space to think. She gasped for a long breathe and started to move foot to foot to her room. This will be a long fight , she thought.

 

 

 

 

*************

 

 

It has been a week since the last call. Himchan always distracted with all the thoughts , seeing of what will happen if she accepted the confession … some will think ‘what are you thinking about? He is so freaking handsome and kind to you’  . Well yes, she has the same thought whilst thinking about it , but confession is more than that !

 

Plus , there is something that Himchan hasn’t really tell anyone….the fact that she has not been in love before makes her really think about this confession deeply. Yes , she does has the thought of a ‘prince’ coming to her and confess , or any particular handsome guy kneeling to her and do all those lovey stuffs , but somehow , in real life , Himchan is not implying those dreams on. She knows, she knows well that relationship is not like that. She knows that entering relationship require commitments. What would she offer though but to have a deep thought and ready if she wants to carry that commitment.

 

And by that , if anyone could bring the memory back , Himchan did say that she won’t leave Yongguk alone despite of what she knew about him ; and to anyone’s concern , this is also pertaining that ; that she has to really think whether being in a relationship is the best step.

 

‘Am I ready for this? Do I really love him as a lover? And if I do , should I accept him straight away?

 

 

As for Himchan, she is just not sure of something that she doesn’t know how to scream that out. She knows what is she worried about , but she doesn’t know what is it to be exact. ‘What does it sounds so complicated?’ She sighes ~ 

 

Himchan brings out her diary and begins to write ......

 

 

Dear Diary …

 

Gukkie confessed to me today. He sounds shy and that is something that I don’t expect though. I was thought to tell him about Jonghyun…but IDK how does this turns out to be so different. And instead to make him shocked listening to my story , it’s me who is shivering until now.

 

IDK how to tell what I feel now … I am happy but worried at the same time ….

 

Perhaps………

 

It’s not that bad to try isn’t it? Yeah , I should give it a try and love him more than just …. Best friend…yes ~ Fighting Channie , you can do it !

 

 

 

 Himchan close her diary and settle herself down to hit the sack. “Good Night Diary”

 

 

 

 

*************

 

 

 

The day starts with a bright sunlight towering the whole universe . It’s only 8 AM when everyone start to occupy the whole university. People sure are busy with everything that they are facing now since nobody seems to talk to each other much.

 

 

 

The day went so fast that it is now 6 PM. Himchan sits with Ailee at the restaurant, waiting for their dinner to be served.

 

 

 

“ Ailee-ah , can we go to Starbucks after this? “

 

“ eyy , thought that you say that you wanna have a ‘coffee-diet’? “ said her chuckling to her statement.

 

“ just … a cup of it , will you accompany me? And then we can straight to head back “

 

“ alright , its your money , not mine “ Himchan rolling her eyes and staring at her food before eating them.

 

 

 

A comfortable silence broke after a while when Ailee ask her something ….

 

“ Do you something to tell me? Are you stressed over something? “

 

“ ehm? Why did you ask that? “

 

“ I just …. I don’t think that you are okay “

 

“ I am okay , really “

 

“ Sudden craving for something that you avoid won’t lie to me , PLUS ! You are not that good in this week. It’s not that I can’t see you day dreaming everywhere Channie “

 

“ I will tell you tonight , don’t worry. Quick , finish up your food. We need to rush for our bus “

 

“ Alright , I am looking forward for it then “

 

 

 

A weak smirk formed on Himchan’s face. She is determined to call him tonight . She is wondering of what he will say though. She really … can’t read him for now and to see if her decision is right for now ~

 

 

 

 

*************

 

 

Himchan is now standing at her verandah , looking at the sky tonight. It is such a good sight , with a lot of stars smiling to her. She then stares at her phone and the name that she has been waiting to call since last night. The whole conversation is created in her head , but she also laughing at why she did that though. Nervous perhaps?

 

The said name appears after she keeps on looking at her phone – off it – on it back – then off it back , until she fed up with that attitude of hers and decided to do the call anyway…

 

 

The ring is heard…the first call didn’t get through. ‘omg , is he okay?’

 

She try to call him back for the second time. She waits patiently , and the call is picked up by the other line …..

 

 

“Hey! “

 

“ Hi , sorry that I didn’t pick up just now “

 

“ It’s okay. Are you okay by the way? You sound so weak “

 

“ I am at a ward now actually “

 

“ what????????? “

 

Himchan suddenly raised her voice which shocked her housemates for a while. She lower down her voice and continue …

 

“ Why? What happened to you? “

 

“ I …. have a bad fever , it has been for few days , that is why I am here to have a check. Don’t worry “

 

“ Of course I will. I am sorry that I didn’t call you after ……….. well , I am sorry that I didn’t keep in touch “ Himchan hides her red face ~

 

 

 

Yongguk smiles at the other line, whom then continue …

“ It’s okay Channie , it’s my fault too. I should call you too, but …….. perhaps that I will disturb you . “

 

 

 

‘There there , another awkward silence created . Good job Channie! ‘  ….

“Well , is it okay for you to talk like this? I am , I am the one who is disturbing you now “

 

 

 

“ It can be done for a while , plus …… ehm ………. “

 

Five seconds of pause is heard and disappear when the next line hit Himchan until her face is tinted with red color.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“…..I kinda miss you too “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ I – I …. (cough) … I ehm … well , Gukkie “

 

“ yes? “

 

“ ehm …. do …. The last offer of yours is ……still ………..open? “  said Himchan with her lowest tone of voice.    ‘great Himchan , what kind of word that you are using now pabo??? Now he must be laughing at you’

 

Another awkward silence is created and Himchan feels so weak to talk like this . She feels like chocking herself now for God’s sake .Himchan thought to repeat herself since there is no response until an answer is heard from the other line.

 

“ ehm , yes ? “ Himchan widen her eyes and she can feel that he is smiling to his phone at the other line which is enough to make her static to her position now. ‘ now what? What should I say? Think Himchan , think!!!!!!’

 

 

Now that she thinks of all her efforts to create the whole conversation beforehand is useless. How stupid she feels right now but then she continues her say …

 

“ So … what are we now? “ she beams.

 

“ ehm , are you sure for this actually? Well … I am not that good though “

 

“ well , I am sure you understand me better than anyone else , we can always try this and look at what will happen later , aint we? “

 

“ ehm , yeah “

 

 

 

 

“ so …. “ 

“ so ? “

 

“ Channie ”

 

“ Yes Gukkie? “

 

“ I will ask you again ….. will you be my girlfriend and accept me who is lacking here and there , and which doesn’t know whether I will be a good boyfriend or no …. will you …. be beside me? “

 

Himchan grins to herself and nod , while answering after she took a long breath ….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ I will “