Chanhee knocked on the door of Byunghun study, but got no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. Still no answer.

“Lee Byunghun! Stop sulking and open the door this instant!”

Silence.

Chanhee tried the door. It would not open. Rolling his eyes, Chanhee took out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. Byunghun was sitting in a high-backed chair, apparently watching the news on television. When Chanhee entered, Byunghun jumped, startled.

“How did you get in?” Byunghun demanded.

“Your mother gave me the extra key. She said you’ve been sulking far too much these days for a grown man and asked me to do her a favour and get you out of the slumps. She figured you might have locked the door today, so she gave me the key in case. Really… Are you four or twenty-four?”

Byunghun said nothing, but looked sullen and turned back to the television. Chanhee sat down on the chair next to his.

“What’s with you, Byung? Is this about lunch the other day?”

When Byunghun gave no answer, Chanhee tried again. “Have you gone deaf? I asked you a question.”

“I don’t need to answer every single one of your questions. Also, you asked me two questions, not one.”

“You’re being stubborn and I said sorry countless of times,” Chanhee said. “It’s not that big a deal that Niel knows your weakness neither Minsoo. Not everyone is perfect Byung, not even me, so is you. It doesn’t make you any less a person. Your friends are still your friends and Minsoo is not your rival anymore. I’m sure he is not that kind of guy that announced your weakness to the whole world and also Niel. If your fans stopped liking you just because you’re afraid of something or you had an embarrassing past then they weren’t your true fan at all. Don’t be such a child. It’s absurd to behave like this.”

Byunghyun’s eyes stayed glued to the television screen.

“Oh, come on. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Look I know everything about you since diapers and it doesn’t change anything for me. I know most of the time your too much to handle but I always stays here as your friend all this years.”

Something in Byunghun snapped at the few words. He turned suddenly to him. “Only a friend, Chanhee ?”

Chanhee was taken aback by the sharpness of his reaction. “What?”

“Why not more than a friend?”

Shock spread across Chanhee’s face, but it was quickly exchanged for a firm appearance as he could manage. “I’ve given you that answer before.”

Byunghun eyes flashed with intense stare at Chanhee. “So you have, but I still won’t accept your refusal. Why, Chanhee ? You know how I feel about you. I think you’ve known even before I admitted it. Don’t pretend that you don’t care either –”

“I do care! But not in the same way you want! Argh… Don’t you get it? I cherish our friendship since we are 5 and you asking more than that is different and it will became complicated and I don’t love you like that…”

“And I don’t accept it.”

Throwing Chanhee’s hands up in frustration, he said, “When are you going to stop this nonsense, Byung?” 

“I’ll stop only when you are happily married.”

That sounds strangely reasonable, coming from him, thought Chanhee .

“To me.”

Scratch that.

***

Chanhee got home feeling quite exhausted. Byunghun had been difficult to handle. What had made him bring that up again? Chanhee thought he had gotten over it already. How long was it going to take him to get it into his head that he didn’t love him like that?

Chanhee couldn’t imagine when or how Byunghun had fallen for him, but he wished he hadn’t. Chanhee didn’t want to spoil what they had as friends. Besides, he found it a little difficult to imagine being married to Lee Byunghun. He was fine as a friend and an old playmate. Chanhee could talk to him easily, he could be trusted, he could be fun to be with (when not being overly full of himself) and they had enough common interests that they rarely ran out of things to talk about. But to be married to him..! Chanhee would have to nag him all the time about his arrogance and it would be a constant battle between his extravagance and his practicality. And that ego! Byunghun could be nice, but…

Chanhee sighed. Part of him regretted his last words to him before he had walked out of the room. Yet Chanhee figured Byunghun deserved everything he had said. Maybe that would tell him to drop it, if a straightforward “no” didn’t.

***

Byunghun stared silently out of the window that overlooked the back garden, Chanhee ’s words echoing through his mind.

“What on earth makes you think I’d marry you? You’re arrogant, self-absorbed, extravagant, overbearing, a show-off and egoistic! You think you have a right to anything you want in the world, you think poorer people are beneath you and you think you can be rude to anyone you wish just because your jealous. You can’t even control your anger Byung. You’re even rude to my friends! And to Niel ’s friends! Do you know how rude you were to Minsoo? I only wonder that you aren’t rude to Niel too. I couldn’t possibly marry anyone who possibly overly controlling and have emotional issue. You love me, you say. But do you really know what that word means? You should try learning a little trust, respect and kindness before professing that, Byung. It wouldn’t kill you. It’d at least make you sound more sincere.”

Chanhee probably didn’t know it, but it had hurt. And it had cut him deep. It was, he thought, the first time Chanhee had ever flung all of it at him at the same time. Chanhee had told him before over past years that he was arrogant, that he was wasting too much money on pointless things that he was a too cold to other people, and so on. But Chanhee had never said it all at one go before. Nor had Chanhee ever tacked on the fact that they were reasons that put him off.

It felt as though Chanhee’d picked up the sword that decorated the shelf in his study and run it through his heart. He hadn’t realised he was capable of feeling such sharp, non-physical pain. 

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A/N: here is a CHUNJOE update after a long time.

Sorry coz I'm having rough year and I lost track of my plot for this story.. T_T

But I'll try my best to continue this story coz Chunjoe is just so iressistable. and I miss them so much.

ThanKYU for reading and please leave a comment too..

-----> Chanhee's Eomma