Chapter two.

What brought Kyu´s misery was at once was to see with his own eyes when Siwon started to date girls. This experience marked his short life deeply, destroying a part of him slowly.

The worst part was that Siwon told him all the details about his dates. Also he always asked for his opinion about the girls he dated. So Kyuhyun did but he had to bite his tongue literally and with a soft and fake smile he faced Siwon and listened to all the details of his dates. It was torture for his ears. He felt his heart ill and weak after those conversations with Siwon. He just wanted to cry and cry but he could not show any kind of hint of his love for him. His friendship is all he has by now and he would go crazy if he lost it. Every day he asked God to give him the strength enough to enjoy the time he spent by him without showing weakness.

And the time went by making him even more miserable. There were times in which he could not restrain his feelings anymore. Many times he was about to touch or hug Siwon without caring anymore. One day losing himself completely in this overwhelming love, he was about to kiss Siwon when he saw him sleeping shirtless at the latter´s apartment. He should struggle with the urge to kiss him and jump over him because his mind was full of lustful thoughts but at the end he always got panicked of his uncontrolled emotions and stopped.

He was going crazy by the days because he had cherished those feelings for a long time...he damned his luck one more time.

Alone in his bedroom, his tears were rolling down his cheeks sobbing hard while thinking about what he should do to move on...definitely he could not and deep in his heart he did not want it either.

What was really painful and brought his death literally was when Siwon told him about his first kiss and first time with girls.That particular information made his world fall down. He was jealous and hurt. Siwon´s lips and body were not pure anymore at least not for him ... How could he hide his emotions in front of him after this?. His eyes were clouded by tears but he had to hold them back every time. Be strong Kyu! don´t screw up now!, he tried to convince himself.

He always avoided to look Siwon directly into his eyes because he would notice his suffering for sure...he needed to hide his face that showed only pain and discomfort. He only nodded and gave brief comments about ´those' details even though he was dying inside. Always faking, lying... struggling with his emotions to appear at any time in front of Siwon. It was really a hard work to do.

When Kyu reached his home, he started to cry all the time remembering Siwon´s excited face telling him about his love stories. He could not stand for other girls to touch his Siwon. Siwon was his.  He wanted to imagine himself touching and kissing Siwon instead. He was suffering alone, he had no more friends than Siwon..he was his world, his everything now.

It was definitely love ... he could not be wrong about it but a love that was killing him slowly. The thing is that Kyuhyun is not