Let me free… Let me breathe…

The grey clouds filled the sky, dark. The cold wind passed through the holes of Himchan’s sweater, if it could be called that, his eyes a dull, lifeless brown. His hair disheveled. His skin was starting to look malnourished.

The young adult about twenty three or four, stared longingly at the door to the prison he was in. The room was dark, with a bared window, letting the freezing cold in. He was attached to several wires and plugs. Himchan was struggling to stay awake. The beeping sound of a computer (and different machines) resonating in the room. A (computer) chip embedded into the skin of his neck, showing and blinking pink.

‘How many days had it been since he had been stuck here?’ Himchan must have wondered when he could. ‘He didn’t know’ but the thought that killed him was ‘how many more?’

The only thing that kept him alive now were his memories; memories of his happy days, memories of his lover and the belief that ‘he’ would find him.

‘That Yong guk would come for him.’

------

“Time was no longer something that could be told…”

Himchan’s time had stopped when he had been taken away. The day’s images still flashed through his eyes at times, only to cause him pain. The people in black holding Yong guk down, he was bleeding, his lip was bruised. He was shouting Himchan’s name, calling out for him and then everything was a haze.

Flashes… It was all in flashes.

Flashes of seeing his bestfriend Daehyun, look at him with the most guilt filled eyes. Himchan had tried calling out for him, only to have the boy walk away from him.

Flashes… everything was in flashes.

Even the pain that hit him was in flashes now. But that was one thing that he was glad about. Because in the beginning the pain he was put through was unbearable. So he was glad that he didn’t remember much of it.

“Subject 1004 is reacting much more stably”

Himchan didn’t react, more like he couldn’t. Maybe he had lost the strength to. Maybe he had grown accustomed to Daehyun (his bestfriend) calling him a ‘subject’. Maybe he just felt weak… so very weak. Right now, just for a bit, Himchan just wanted to sleep… just alittle bit… until he can wake up in Yong guks embrace again. Until he can wake up to the gummy bear smile… until… until then… Himchan’s eyes felt heavy… so heavy…

  ------ 

“Time was never something that could be returned or turned back.”

“It never was and it never will be” That was what Daehyun told himself every day. He was told that time continues to move forward and turns the present into the past and so on and so forth. The cycle continues and the only thing one can do is look forward.

But what if one didn’t look forward to the future? What if the future held nothing for someone when he didn’t have ‘him’? What if…? What if that someone who didn’t look forward any more was Daehyun?

Daehyun stopped looking forward, the day his time came to a halt. The day he lost the love of his life… The day Daehyun lost YoungJae.

Pain was something that Daehyun felt on a daily basis. Pain for the one he lost. Pain for the one he was destroying. Pain for the one he was lying to. Pain was something that he had accustomed himself to for the sake of bringing YoungJae back.

He didn’t even look at himchan hyung anymore because it would crush his heart if he still endeared his bestfriend.

He didn’t meet Yong guk hyung any more (Only talking to the elder on the phone, leading him in circles) because the moment he would see the elder, he would break.

He tried not to feel much emotion when he would see YoungJae attached to so many devices and Daehyun shamelessly took his scent in, touching his hair, creasing his lovers flawless skin.

Because how do you break something that’s already broken? And the only person who can fix and heal the wounds needs to be healed themself?

------

 Time… Time… Time…

“Time is something that is never enough.”

Sleepless nights and empty coffee cups, tea cups, energy drinks and a couple of instant ramen in a box, packets lay here and there. Yong guk’s eye bags were very much prominent now. Messy hair, messy clothes, messy room, everything was a mess. Paper… paper everywhere.

Time was something that Yong guk never had enough. He needed to do so much and had so little time. He needed to find Himchan, reach him and bring him back safe and in his embrace.

The nights that Yong guk would fall exhausted were painful because helpless tears would fall from his eyes, only to be wiped away harshly. Pain was something Yongguk couldn’t let himself feel. He needed to stay focused. He needed to stay resolute! He needed to stay strong for himself! For Himchan! He needed to get him back.

‘He will get Himchan back!’

Yong guk wasn’t someone stupid nor was he someone who could be easily deceived. And that was the exact reason why he stopped showing his real investigation and the information he gathered to the person he trusted or so he thought.

Yong guk had always cared for Daehyun like a little brother or a very close friend since he was both Himchan’s bestfriend and YoungJae’s boyfriend. He was also a member of their group, which was made because of a deep friendship of years and years. So the betrayal he felt was something beyond describable.

Yong guk could see the lies swimming in the younger males’ eyes, along with the guilt.

Yong guk was not dumb. He could see right through the other male that is exactly why he put the other male under surveillance. JongUp and Zelo were his trusted little dongsaengs. Not that Yong guk trusted anyone any more except for himself. They were assigned to keep an eye on Daehyun at all times.

Everyone was lying, everyone was faking, and everything was frustrating.

Yong guk wanted to punch a hole through a wall every time his search led to a dead end. But he needed to reel back and keep calm. The thought of ‘what would Himchan be going through? Where we he? Why did they take him?’ Questions ran through his mind, millions at a time, but he wanted nothing more than to have the slightly younger male back in his arms, nothing more than having him safe, nothing more than to kiss his soft lips, nothing more than to say ‘I love you’ one more time, a thousand times and more.

On the bad days (which were almost all of the days of his life now), these thoughts were what broke Bang Yong guk down again and again, only to have him stand again and wipe his tears with a new resolution and will because Himchan was out there, waiting for him and he had to find him.

Hi guys! ^^ So~ I was inspired by 'Error' by vixx.

It's not like the story in the mv but yeah... has some similar points... I was thinking of making this a chaptered fic but I'm still not sure about it. ^^;

oh! and *whispers* I wrote a one shot (it's kinda angsty? though) named 'Snow' ( http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/904305 ) If anyone's interested ^^

Anyways Hope you enjoyed ^^ 

Comment <3