Excerpt:

“MY HAIR!” Eunhyuk could be heard wailing.

“I can’t even bring myself to laugh at his misery…” Kyuhyun whispered sadly.

...

“So do you get what we’re trying to tell you?” Jonghyun demanded, staring desperately at Key.

Key swallowed. “Uh, yeah…”

Onew sighed, exasperated. “Key, seriously, you need to stop tormenting the poor guy before he goes insane. I think it’s a very real possibility right now.”

“No, I get it,” Key insisted.

“Key, seriously!” Jonghyun groaned. “Listen to us! Minho is one of us, and you’re tormenting him!”

Key grit his teeth. “I said - ”

“ - and you’re tormenting us too with your constant shrieking, and Taemin, who can’t even hear the name “Taeminnie” without flinching - ”

“I get it you idiots, shut up!”

There was a moment of silence.

“I took it too far, I get that,” Key ground out. “I shouldn’t have said all those things to Minho. I shouldn’t have called him a , I shouldn’t have accused him of cheating on Taemin. And yes you guys - I know they weren't in a relationship.”

“…You really understand.” Onew looked disbelieving.

“Everything,” Key said firmly.

“…Even the thing’s related to Taemin?” Jonghyun ventured hesitantly, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Especially those.”

A sceptical raise of the eyebrow. “Really?”

“Jonghyun,” Key spat, “if you don’t shut the up, you will be next on my hit list!”

Onew looked wary as he asked, “who’s first?”

Key shrugged. “Well, Minho was first…but now that he’s not…” His eyes shifted slightly. “Well, we’ll see I guess.”

Jonghyun and Onew simultaneously gulped.

Key sighed loudly, his shoulders slumping. “Seriously, I’ll apologise to him and make it up to him - and this time I won’t write my speech on my palm. How does that sound?”

Onew, despite the slight apprehension in his eyes (who could blame him - this was Key they were talking about), smiled and nodded.

“I’ll memorise it!” Key continued brightly, and Onew knew it had been too good to be true.

…

Minho decided that the first girl on his “girls-to-ask-out-until-one-of-them-says-yes” list was Victoria. After all, they were friends (or had been friends - he really didn’t know anymore), so maybe she’d go easy on him.

He knocked on the door of the f(x) dorms, wondering what he would do if one of the other members opened the door. He didn’t think he could handle anymore murderous glares from Krystal, or another one-finger salute from Amber.

Luckily it was Victoria who opened the door. Minho briefly wondered if maybe thinks wouldn’t go so badly after all - of course, the world decided he hadn’t suffered nearly enough (what had he ever done to it anyway? Surely even higher beings had laws to follow…).

Victoria slammed the door shut.

Minho quickly rammed his foot in the doorway, and barely managed to hold back a yelp of pain (he was not giving Victoria that satisfaction).

“Wait!” he pleaded. “Victoria, seriously, I need to talk to you for a second. Don’t freak out, okay? Just listen to me.”

Victoria shot him a scowl.

“And talk to me,” Minho added heatedly. “We’re friends for godsake!

Or were friends, but Minho wasn't going to go into the technicalities.

Victoria hesitated before responding. “I don’t really want to talk right now,” she told him.

Minho could have argued with her, or attempted to clear his name. Instead he decided to get straight to the point.

“Go out with me.”

…Maybe that wasn’t the best method.

Victoria’s eyes widened. “What?!”

“Go out with me,” Minho repeated (yes he sounded desperate, but that was because he was). “I’ll probably end up a for the rest of my life if you don't! No one wants to look at me!”

Silence.

Victoria’s scowl deepened a tenth-fold. “Minho,” she growled, “are you trying to ask me out…to have with me.”

“Wha - NO!” Minho stared at her in horror. “That’s not - that’s not what I meant! Seriously!”

“Remove your foot,” his ex-friend (yup, he’d sorted out the technicalities) growled, “before I crush it with this door.”

“I don’t want to have with you!” Minho insisted. “Not that there’s anything wrong with you - you’re really hot, and that’s a given, but…we’re friends! Not that I wouldn’t like to date you, that’s why I’m asking you - ”

He toppled backwards as the door slammed in his face.

“Oh come on!” he moaned. “At least give me a reason!”

There was a pause, and then the door opened a crack.

“You want a reason?” Victoria questioned cooly.

“Yes!”

“Min-,” she said simply, and then the door shut with a loud “bang!”

“…What the hell does that even mean?!”

…

“This’ll be awesome,” Kyuhyun announced enthusiastically. “We put this stuff in the shampoo, Heechul-hyung puts it on and - bam! Green hair!” He cackled loudly.

“How do you know Heechul-hyung will get it?” Changmin inquired.

Kyuhyun snorted. “He won’t let anyone use this stuff but him. Apparently it’s too high quality for the rest of us. Trust me - he’ll use it.”

Changmin smiled as he poured the green food colouring into the bottle. “Mind if I borrow some of this stuff for Jaejoong-hyung and Yunho-hyung?”

“Why?” Kyuhyun questioned, as he observed his friends handiwork (Changmin had decided to take over the technical work after the last little failure). “Are they that bad?”

Changmin sighed softly. “I don’t want this to sound bad or anything,” he started, “because I really do love them. But…christ, they are so annoying! I mean, Yunho-hyung was bad enough on his own but…with Jaejoong-hyung? Sweet lord, they won’t shut up!” Changmin’s eyes had grown steadily wider throughout his rant, along with the sound of his voice, and the heaviness of his breathing. “I’m in my twenties and it’s like I’m living with my parents again - in the goddamn nineteenth century!”

“Uh - what are you doing?”

Changmin paused, and Kyuhyun let out a small groan. From the doorway, Heechul continued to stare at them.

“Changmin,” Kyuhyun hissed, “can’t you keep your goddamn voice down?!”

“Shut up Kyu,” Changmin muttered sullenly. “You doubled the cake.”

“ you,” his friend responded eloquently.

“I’ll you both if you don’t tell me what you’re doing with my shampoo,” Heechul warned, striding into the room.

“Er, hyung,” Changmin coughed awkwardly, “that sounds a bit - ”

“ - ual?” Heechul raised one eyebrow. “It was meant to.” He glanced down, taking in the sight of the green food die, and the open bottle of shampoo. “…Oh,” he said slowly. “You were trying to prank me.”

Kyuhyun and Changmin exchanged nervous glances.

“We’ve really lost our spark, haven’t we?” Changmin murmured, his tone dismal.

Heechul reached down and grabbed the bottle. He stared at it, a thoughtful look on his face. “Hmm…green hai. I’m so fabulous, I could probably pull it off.” He continued to look thoughtful. He then nodded his head decisively. “Right - leave it with me and get out.”

Kyuhyun blinked. “Huh?”

“I said - oh never mind. Just hide the bottle.”

“What?” Kyuhyun continued to look utterly bewildered.

“Oh for gods - ” Heechul reached down and grabbed the bottle out of Changmin’s hands. He hurled it at a spot behind the bathroom door; the dark liquid splashed against the walls.

“Those walls are white…” Changmin muttered.

Heechul snorted. “Knowing Ryeowook’s obsession with cleaning, he’ll probably thank me” Turning away from the green mess, Heechul yelled, “HEY! EUNHYUK! GET YOUR BONY ARSE IN HERE!”

As the maknaes continued to stare in confusion, Eunhyuk entered the room.

“What?” he questioned, oblivious to the prior events.

“You were going to have a shower, weren’t you?” Heechul inquired.

“Er - yes.” Eunhyuk’s eyes flickered to Changmin and Kyuhyun. “You, uh, said you wanted to go first though…”

“I changed my mind,” Heechul told him. “You can.” He smirked, and Eunhyuk stared. His eyes once again flittered to the maknaes.

“What are you guys doing here?” he questioned nervously. Being in the same room as three of the biggest menaces he knew (the “Evil Maknaes” and freaking Heechul) wasn’t the nicest feeling.

Heechul laughed loudly and slung an arm around Eunhyuk’s shoulders. “Nothing your mind can handle,” he told him.

Eunhyuk immediately paled. “Please don’t say that to Leeteuk-hyung,” he pleaded. “I can’t handle anymore of that…”

Heechul smiled and pet Eunhyuk on the shoulder. “Here, you can use my shampoo,” he told him cheerily.

Eunhyuk’s eyes brightened for a brief moment, before immediately turning suspicious. “You never let anyone use this thing…”

“Truth? I’ve sort gotten over it.” Heechul shrugged. “Strawberries are so boring, don’t you think? I’m going to stick with more of an apricot scent in the future.” With a smirk, he added, “since you’re boing, this’ll work perfectly for you!”

“…Oh.”

“Right then!” Heechul reached out and grabbed Changmin and Kyuhyun by their elbows. “I’ll just take the maknaes to my room and do unspeakable things to them.”

“Geez - keep your voice down!” Eunhyuk hissed. “If Leeteuk-hyung - ”

Heechul rolled his eyes. “I know, I know,” he said dismissively, “if Leeteuk finds out, no one will find my body. Now have fun in the shower.” He dragged the two supposedly-evil maknaes out of the room.

When they had distanced themselves from the bathroom, Heechul turned to face them. “Right - when his hair turns green, I’m taking the credit,” he smirked.

“Huh?!” Kyuhyun exclaimed incredulously. “You can’t do that! This is my prank!” Hearing Changmin’s cough, he added, “and Changmin’s helping me a little bit.”

Changmin glared.

“Too bad,” Heechul told them, smirking slightly. “Don’t think I didn’t see you sneaking around in the kitchen with Ryeowook’s cake. You’re pranking people - and if you don’t do what I say, I’ll tell everyone about it.”

Kyuhyun’s expression darkened. “You - ”

Changmin grabbed his arm. “Leave it Kyu,” he muttered, despondent.

Heechul smiled and walked away. “Oh - by the way, dongsaengs,” he added over his shoulder, “you’re paying me for that shampoo.”

He walked away, leaving two miserable maknaes in his wake.

“MY HAIR!” Eunhyuk could be heard wailing.

“I can’t even bring myself to laugh at his misery…” Kyuhyun whispered sadly.

…

“Jaejoong!”

Jaejoong glanced up from where he had been slaving over the stove. Seriously, he’d missed this place - and this kitchen. God, had he missed his kitchen.

“Come on.” Grabbing his arm, Yunho dragged him out of the kitchen. “We’re going for a walk. Now.”

“Um, my food - ”

“Leave it,” Yunho snapped. “Just get me out of here. Yoochun and Junsu - dear lord, I’d forgotten how annoying they were!”

“They aren’t annoying!” Jaejoong retorted in classic protective-parent style. Then: “…Okay, they’re annoying.”

“It’s like having a bunch of five-year-olds in the house,” Yunho moaned, stepping out the front door. “They keep arguing over their stupid game! Changmin was bad enough. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a full dorm.”

“Well, you know, it’ll have to end eventually, right?” Jaejoong let out a laugh, which was tinged with a hint of sadness. “We can’t exactly stay at your dorm forever.”

“Yeah, not happening,” Yunho shot back. “I can’t handle Changmin alone at this point.” He thought for a moment. “Don’t worry,” he said at last. “If the management catches on, we’ll hide you in the cellar.”

“You don’t have a cellar,” Jaejoong pointed out.

“Yeah…”

Jaejoong smiled as they walked. “I thought you couldn’t handle Junsu and Yoochun.”

“I can’t handle Changmin,” Yunho told him, shuddering slightly. “You’re way better at dealing with him. You’re so crazy that you scare him into submission.”

He laughed. Jaejoong didn’t.

“What did you call me?” the older male growled.

Yunho stopped laughing, and swallowed heavily.

Jaejoong looked ready to burst into a hysterical rant, and probably would have if something else hadn’t caught his eye.

“Uh, Yunho…” he said slowly. “There’s a lot of people staring at us…”

Yunho glanced up - yup, Jaejoong was right. A lot of people; a lot.

“…You know,” Yunho said, resuming his walk. It’s not like he hadn’t been stared at in the past, “I just realised…this is the first time we’re out alone together since…well, since the breakup.”

“Yeah…feels nice.” Jaejoong smiled contentedly. “I missed this…”

“Yeah,” Yunho agreed, grinning back.

And then the fangirls, in classic crazy-fan-girl style, decided to ruin the moment.

“OH MY ING GOD!” one girl screamed, “IT’S JAEJOONG AND YUNHO…TOGETHER!”

“IT’S THEM!” another yelled.

“OPPAS! OPPAS, OVER HERE!”

“YUNJAE!”

“YUNJAE! YUNJAE!”

The crowd grew and - oh sweet lord, were they moving?!

“…Oh ,” Yunho whispered.

…

Changmin slammed the door as he entered the dorm.

“I swear,” he growled, throwing his jacket on the arm of the sofa, “this is just - ” He paused as he caught sight of Junsu and Yoochun. “…You guys are still ere.”

Yoochun glanced up from where he had been playing (Changmin’s!) game. “Oh, hey Changmin!” he said brightly.

“Seriously, are you guys ever going back to your own dorm?” Changmin muttered. Okay, he didn’t really have a problem with Yoochun or Junsu being here - they weren’t crazy like Jaejoong or Yunho. Maybe he could trade one of them for Yunho…it’d certainly get rid of the wary glances every time Kyuhyun entered the dorm.

Junsu pouted, his eyes growing wide. “Changmin, don’t you want us around?” he questioned, his voice wobbling slightly.

“That won’t work on me,” Changmin told him. “I’m too angry to be affected by how adorable you are.”

“Why, what happened?” Junsu questioned, concerned.

Changmin sighed. “Eunhyuk has green hair.”

Yoochun raised one eyebrow.

“…Don’t ask.” Changmin slouched back against the sofa.

The door opened and then slammed shut; Jaejoong and Yunho came barrelling through.

Changmin blinked. “Uh…”

Hearing the excited screams from outside, Yoochun nodded his head understandingly. “Fangirls, huh?”

Jaejoong cringed. “Worse - Yunjae fangirls.”

…

AN:

Okay, hope you guys enjoyed this! This chapter is longer than my last ones :) Hope you’re enjoying this. Tell me what you think - also, I’m curious, who’s your favourite character in this? (hope I haven’t butchered any of your biases xD).