Excerpt:

Silently, Changmin wondered if they really had lost the evil power they’d once possessed.

...

“It’s flawless!” Kyuhyun cried, his eyes shining with excitement. “Ryeowook will have absolutely no idea! Now Changmin, make sure you distract him while I go and mess with the cake, alright?”

Changmin frowned. “Why do I have to distract him?” he asked. “He’s your bandmate.”

“I can’t trust you with the finer details of the plan,” Kyuhyun sighed, as the two made their way to the kitchen. “Come on Changmin, it’s not that hard!

Changmin gritted his teeth (this plan would save the both of them, he reminded himself, so no killing Kyuhyun). “Fine, whatever. What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know,” Kyuhyun responded dismissively. “You’re supposedly as evil as I am - what a laugh - so you work it out.”

“Fine.” Changmin walked over to the kitchen and peered inside. “Ryeowook,” he called, “can I speak to you?”

Ryeowook turned. “Changmin?” He raised one eyebrow and headed outside. From his position in the doorway, Changmin could see the kitchen table, laden with cooking equipment and ingredients.

“I have a question for you,” Changmin said, angling himself so that Ryeowook was facing away from the kitchen doorway. Kyuhyun discreetly crept inside, a smirk plastered across his face.

“Can it wait?” Ryeowook questioned. “I’m baking a cake for my mum. I really need to head back…”

“It’ll be quick!” Changmin assured him.

“I really need to get this done…”

“This’ll just take a second!” Changmin quickly blocked his way. “I really need to ask you this, okay?”

“Can’t it wait?!” Ryeowook sounded slightly frustrated. Changmin almost felt guilty for what he and Kyuhyun were doing - almost.

“Not really, no,” he told the older male.

Ryeowook sighed. “Okay, what?”

And with that, Changmin’s mind went blank. He stared for a long moment and then managed, “uh…do you…still like me?”

Ryeowook blinked.

“I mean,” Changmin quickly amended, “I feel like you must hate me after everything that the game did to you.”

“Well, I did go a bit crazy thanks to you…” Ryeowook mused, thinking back to his numerous psychotic rants. He shook his head. “However, it did give me a chance to finally speak my mind - being the nice one is really hard, you know.”

“Not really,” Changmin shrugged. “Junsu was always the ‘nice’ one.” Changmin, seeing Ryeowook shift towards the doorway, continued to talk. He needed to keep Ryeowook distracted. “But I’m sure it must be really hard! I mean, there are just times when you want to punch someone, right?”

“Well, I suppose,” Ryeowook murmured, his eyes shifting slightly. “I love all my bandmates, don’t get me wrong! My life wouldn’t be the same without them…”

“Of course not,” Changmin agreed, his eyes flickering to the open doorway. Kyuhyun frantically waved his hand, a signal for Changmin to continue spewing nonsensical crap.

“All the same, it must be hard,” he said, trying to sound sympathetic. Ryeowook slowly nodded his head.

“I guess there are times when I just - I just want to hack Yesung’s fingers off, you know?”

…Wow, okay, what?! Changmin stared at the smaller male, wondering how the hell the conversation had escalated so suddenly.

“He is constantly my philtrum,” Ryeowook seethed. “Does anyone know where his hands have been?! And what about Heechul-hyung, huh?! Someone needs to tell him that life isn’t a living o - but, off course, I can’t be the one to do that seeing as I have to be nicey-nice Ryeowook all the time!”

“Uh…” Changmin blinked. “That’s too bad hyung…”

“ - and everyone should just stop making me cook for them - I know I’m the best cook and all but seriously. Leeteuk-hyung is the ‘team umma’, he should cook!”

Kyuhyun stepped out of the kitchen and nodded for Changmin to end the conversation.

“Um, hyung,” Changmin said, taking a step backwards. “I have to go - ”

“ - pink! I hate that colour so much! Can’t Sungmin find a new favourite colour?”

Kyuhyun came to stand next to Changmin and leaned closer. “Er, what happened?” he whispered.

“I just asked him if he liked me!” Changmin hissed back.

“ - I mean, seriously guys, if I see one more stuffed bunny, it is down the toilet with them, understand?!”

Kyuhyun and Changmin stared.

Ryeowook shifted slightly. “What?” he muttered. “Changmin said he understood me.”

“…Yeah, I’m sure he did,” Kyuhyun coughed. He reached over and pat Ryeowook on the shoulder - Ryeowook, who was far too preoccupied with his frustrations, didn’t bother to ask where the maknae had come from.

“Well then,” Kyuhyun continued, “go back in there and finish off that…cake…of yours.” He fought back a smirk.

Ryeowook shot Kyuhyun and odd look (as if he hadn’t just been involved in his own crazy rant), before heading back into the kitchen.

“Your bandmates are weird,” Changmin informed Kyuhyun bluntly.

“Yeah, you really have no right to talk,” Kyuhyun shot back.

…

“My life ing ,” Minho muttered, not for the first time that day.

“Is that the name of your next song?”

Minho glanced up at the sound of a familiar voice, fully prepared to destroy whoever dared to be cheerful around him. Unfortunately it was Heechul - no point in extracting revenge from him. The guy was indestructible. Minho decided to simply settle with shooting him his best glare.

“You know,” Heechul continued, “this is a practice studio. Shouldn’t you be moving around a bit more? Sitting still and glaring doesn’t really work…unless it’s a new concept for the music video?”

“What music video?” Minho gritted out.

“The one for “My Life ing ”,” Heechul responded, nonchalantly. “This’ll be an interesting concept. Hmm…maybe you guys could change you name from SHINee to GLOOMee…”

“Heechul,” Minho gritted out, choosing to drop the ‘hyung’ (because he was that frustrated).

Heechul blinked. “What?”

“Shut up please - we are not making a new music video.”

Much to Minho’s frustration, Heechul plonked down next to him. “So then, why do you look like someone stole your favourite testicle?” he questioned.

Minho cringed. “Everyone hates me,” he muttered, choosing not to comment on Heechul’s unconventional comparison. “You were at your dorm, you saw how they treated me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Heechul interjected. “They just…really dislike you. That’s all.”

Minho stared.

“I still like you,” the elder continued. “Anyone who can sleep with that many people is awesome in my books.”

“Oh for gods - ” Minho let out a small, frustrated cry. “I didn’t do any of that stuff!”

“Yeah I know,” Heechul nodded. “I helped spread those rumours after all.”

“…You what?” Minho wondered if he was joking; he then remembered that this was Heechul.

“Anyway,” he sighed at last, “it doesn’t matter. I’m probably going to die a - no woman is ever going to look at me again.”

“Only the ones in the company,” Heechul said offhandedly. “But maybe you should just try asking someone out. You never know.”

“Oh right,” Minho snorted, “because the girls who don’t even want to say a word to me are going to agree to date me.”

“You never know,” Heechul repeated. “And if worse comes to worse, Lady Hee-Hee is always available.”

“No - uh, no thank you…”

Heechul scowled. “She would have said no anyway!”

…

“So Ryeowook, how’d the cake go?” Kyuhyun questioned, leaning forward eagerly. He readied himself for the upcoming waterworks. Beside him, Changmin readied himself for the sight of an axe.

Ryeowook smiled cheerily. “Oh, even better than usual!” he exclaimed, much to the disbelief of the maknaes. “I don’t know what happened, but there seems to be more mixture than usual - good thing I had a bigger cake tin. The cake is super big - my mum is going to be thrilled!” With an excited laugh, he walked out of the room, leaving Kyuhyun and Changmin bewildered in his wake.

“…Uh…Kyu?” Changmin turned to him slowly.

“Maybe it’ll taste really bad?” Kyuhyun suggested. “It doesn’t necessarily have to look bad to taste bad, right?”

Changmin frowned. “What exactly did you do to it?”

“I added more ingredients,” Kyuhyun replied.

“Which ones?” Changmin prompted, dreading the answer.

“All of them - I doubled everything.” Kyuhyun’s lips curled into a smirk, while Changmin closed his eyes in disbelief. “Let Ryeowook give that to his mother and he’ll know the power of the evil maknaes!”

“…You doubled everything?”

“Yes.” Kyuhyun smiled proudly.

“Everything?!”

“Uh, yes…hello? Changmin? Some words of appreciation please?”

“You - you just made a bigger cake!”

“…What?”

Silently, Changmin wondered if they really had lost the evil power they’d once possessed.