Excerpt:

Minho froze in horror, because, oh god, if this — Changmin actually being supportive — wasn’t  a sign that his life had truly hit rock bottom…

...

As he sat, staring aimlessly forward (you’d think, as an idol, he’d be a bit more preoccupied…), Minho wondered exactly when everything had gone to utter .

Kyuhyun wouldn’t speak to him anymore. A little while ago (exactly two weeks ago to be exact) Minho wouldn’t have thought this would bother him. Surprisingly enough, a lack of Cho Kyuhyun actually seemed to be a bad thing. Perhaps this was a sign that he was truly beyond hope…

To add to the mess his life had descended to, Leeteuk seemed more determined than ever to — and it couldn’t be said any less bluntly — end Minho’s life. Minho was almost certain that the daily anonymous calls he received were from the elder male — or at least he thought they were. It’s not like he could tell that the heavy breathing was distinctively Leeteuk’s, but if he had multiple people after his life…well, on second thought, maybe the latter was a possibility.

But why, pray tell, did Kyuhyun hate his guts? Why did Leeteuk want to kill him (more so than he previously had).

Well, it was all due to a little incident two weeks ago (for which Minho blamed his lovely little helper, Kim Jaejoong).

(Two Weeks Ago…)

Somehow — Minho didn’t know how, but somehow that crazy idiot had managed it — Jaejoong had managed to get Sulli to go out with him. Minho could barely hold back his glee as he stared at his fellow idol, because seriously, he didn’t think he’d ever be this close to a potential date again.

The words, “do you want to go out with me?” seemed so sweet as they left his mouth. A little too sweet, but Minho amounted this to serious deprivation. After all, the past few weeks hadn’t been easy.

When Sulli answered with a blunt “no”, Minho realised that maybe that feeling was due to a part of him acknowledging the cold, hard truth — who the in their right minds would want to go out with him?

Still though, he couldn’t help but stare at her in helpless disbelief. “Huh…?”

“Is that all?” Sulli questioned, sounding more than a little impatient. “Can I go now? I was kind of in the middle of something.”

“But — huh?” Minho let out another choked sound of disbelief. “Jaejoong…Jaejoong said you’d agreed!”

Sulli shot him an odd look. “He asked me if I would speak to you. He didn’t say anything about this.”

Minho gaped.

Sulli sighed. “Look, I’m sorry alright?” she said, sounding slightly sympathetic. “But with your reputation — ”

“No!” Minho shook his head rapidly, his eyes wild. “No, hold on a second — that reputation is bogus! It’s not the real me, okay?! I am nothing like that!”

Sulli chewed on her lip, considering her words. “Look,” she said at last, “I’m sure you’re a nice guy — ”

“What do you mean you’re ‘sure I’m a nice guy’ — we were quite good friends up until a few weeks ago!”

Sulli narrowed her eyes. “Minho, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“What the ?!” Sulli’s eyes flew open in shock, but Minho decided that he could care less. He needed to vent. Desperately. Now. “Key’s trying to kill me,” he growled. “Yeah, that’s right, take a good look at me — you might never see my face ever again. Oh, and Jaejoong and Yunho too — they’re probably out to get me too! And Leeteuk hates me — he won’t let me see Kyuhyun anymore. Why do I even want to see Kyuhyun?! He’s a . My best friend is a . He got me into this mess. No wait, who the hell even suggested that stupid game…oh , it was me. I did this to myself. I’m self-destructive.”

“…Minho, would you like me to call someone?” Sulli asked, slowly.

“No.”

“Well, okay then — ”

“I mean, no, it was Changmin. Changmin came up with the damn game. Changmin did this. And I supported it. , why did I support it? Why?”

He then proceeded to burst into laughter.

“Goodbye Sulli!” he said, standing up, and walking away. “Maybe I’ll die. Or maybe I’ll run away to Japan and become a J-Rocker. Or maybe I’ll hide in my parent’s house and pretend my time at SM has all been a figment of my imagination.”

Sulli stared.

“…Wait,” she murmured, when a moment had passed (and Minho had stumbled off in a fit of hysterical laughter), “what did he say about ‘seeing Kyuhyun’…?”

…

So yes — somehow, the only thing Sulli had gotten out of his manic spiel was that he was apparently dating Kyuhyun (why the did everyone keep coming to that conclusion? Maybe he needed to re-evaluate his behaviour around the evil maknae).

And of course, since he was the unluckiest er in the damn country, word had gotten out (from experience, Minho suspected that Heechul may have had something to do with it).

Kyuhyun, of course, was pissed as , and apparently decided to join the SM females in giving Minho the silent treatment. Any other time Minho would have been thrilled, except that this seemed to confirm the fact that the world was out to get him.

“I hate you,” Jaejoong told him, scowling.

Oh, he’d forgotten to add — as if enough people didn’t hate him, Jaejoong seemed a step away from jumping back on the anti-Minho bandwagon. The only thing that was stopping him was the fact that now he too was subjected to the wrath of the SM family. Apparently word had spread to Leeteuk that Jaejoong had been working with Minho - needless to say, DBSK and Super Junior was no longer ‘best buds’.

“Jaejoong, we’ve been through this,” Yunho sighed. “We need to remove all suspicion from Minho so that we can go back to being in everyone’s good books.”

“ that,” Jaejoong growled. “Leeteuk barred be from going to Sunday lunches at the Super Junior dorms. Who needs their damn lunches, huh?! I, Kim Jaejoong, cook the best damn food in this country. I’ll make Leeteuk pay for this!”

“Um, Jaejoong, please don’t,” Yunho muttered, laughing nervously.

“Now you know how I feel,” Minho smirked.

Yunho frantically shook his head at him.

“Hyung, are we leaving now?” Changmin questioned, coming downstairs. Minho groaned at the reminder of the SM concert — just what he needed. Quality time with the people who were probably plotting his downfall.

“Yeah, we’re leaving,” Yunho replied. Glancing at Minho, he added, “do you want to come with us?”

“Yeah, sure,” Minho replied. He shot a scowl at Jaejoong, who was making crude gestures with his hands.

“Hyung, don’t be mean to Minho,” Changmin chastened. He then proceeded to pat Minho on the shoulder. “It’s okay Minho — hyung’s here for you.”

Minho froze in horror, because, oh god, if this — Changmin actually being supportive — wasn’t  a sign that his life had truly hit rock bottom…

Changmin burst into laughter. “Just kidding. I’d miss ing around with you too much. I call shot gun!” He ran out the door.

Minho sighed in relief.