"Hana, maybe we should go visit the Doctor. Just to know where you have reached in… you know..."
"Oppa, I don't want to. He is just going to tell us what we already know." 

There was a slight pause between the two of you as Sehun just stared at you with painful eyes. He too, was afraid but running away from it would not help the disease from progressing. Sighing, he said; 

"Hana, promise me that after tomorrow, we'll go." 
 

‘Tomorrow? Why after tomorrow?’ You wondered. It didn't take long for you to realise why. Tomorrow was your birthday; you were finally going to be 18. But you didn't know if you still wanted to be 18 anymore. 

When you were 5, you were eager to be 9. When you got to be 9, you wanted to be 13 and then since you were 13, you were dying with impatience to be 18 but it all changed when you learned about your disease. Now, all that you want is to be 5 again and record all the important memories you had since then, just to have a reminder of how your life was back then even after you'd forgotten everything. 

Unfortunately, all that you have is a diary. A diary in which you have written all that has happened between you and Jongin during the past year and also about Sehun; the amazing brother you have. 

You often wondered, ‘Why?’ 

‘Why did it have to be you?’ was the most frequent question you had in head. ‘Out of all the people on earth, why did it have to be you?’ The only consolation you had was; ‘Thankfully it is neither Sehun nor Jongin that has it.’ This thought helped you to find a positive side to this cursed disease. Well sort of.

Sehun had held out his pinkie after asking you this question and was still waiting for you to get out of your thoughts. Slowly, the thoughts faded and you could now ‘see’ his pinkie.  Hesitantly, you joined your pinkie to his and like this you made the promise to go the Doctor in two days time. But you really didn't want to, afraid that he'll break the remaining hope you had in million of pieces. 

"But Hana... you know..." Sehun held your hand in his as the two of you were still lying on the couch in each other's arms. "I already told you once that the sooner you'd tell Jongin the better it would be but it was clear that from his reaction of this morning, he still doesn't know a thing about it." Sehun was not really scolding you but he was kind of upset, because if he was in Jongin’s place, he would have wanted to know immediately. And if Jongin ever happened to be sick, you would also wish to know. You knew it well but you hadn’t realised it yet.
 

Your expression immediately fell on his mentioning of this matter. You had been putting it away for one year. You knew that he deserved to know, he was your best friend after all but you still couldn't bring yourself to do it and tell him. You were honestly scared; scared of his reaction. You didn't him to change his behaviour towards you; you didn't him to pity you or something like that. You wanted to keep things 'cool' between the two of you though things weren't at all cool. Recently, you two had been arguing a lot and Sehun was right in telling last week that you couldn't be mad at him for being so ignorant when you yourself didn't want to tell him the truth. This practically always put you in a frustrated mood around him which ended in the two of you arguing, you were both to hard-headed teenagers after all.

But, Sehun was right; he was always right from the very beginning. Starting from Day 1, he knew that you were slowly fluttering towards Jongin. Not long after he sensed that something was wrong because ever since you first encounter with Jongin, things went wrong. Not abruptly, but slowly and