The best thing you can do for me is get out and stay out of my life. .....Life ...what a scary thing, what is the meaning of life when we only live to one day die?

It was 4:30 in the morning and Hyunae had been up all night studying. She decided to take a shower and start cooking breakfast. After getting ready for school and cooking breakfast, Hyunae left early to get in last minute cramming before exams. Eunhyuk woke up at 6:00 feeling well rested and prepared. He went down to the kitchen finding Mrs. Lee already eating and reading a newspaper at the table.

"Morning Umma," he kissed her cheek as he went to get the orange juice.

"Morning Hyuk, Hyunae made you a pretty special breakfast, eat up well." He looked at the wonderful creation of food made for him along with a little note on the side.

Eunhyuk-shi, hope you enjoy your breakfast! There's also a lunch box I've put in the microwave. Do with it what you want, but i figured you'd want some extra brain food today instead of the junk from the cafeteria. Good luck on your exams, hwaiting!!!

He sighed, still up after 18 years, i wish she would just give up. He still ate all breakfast and packed the lunch to school none the less, no use wasting perfectly good food.

He passed the library on the way to school seeing a sleeping figure slumped over a pile of books and notes. It was Hyunae. Should I wake her? He shook the thought almost immediately, she wasn't his responsibility. He walked into class and took in his usual seat. Hyunae came rushing in with one minute to spare looking tired and relieved she didnt sleep through exams. A group of girls came sauntering in after Hyunae with their polished nails and heavy make-up, without a care in the world. Of course, the leader of that group was the  principle's daughter. Why would it matter if they were late? Eunhyuk looked over to see Hyunae looking over her notes when the group of girls knocked over all of her books, scattering her papers and utensils on the floor.

"Oops..sorry!" The girls snickered.

Hyunae stared blankly at her scattered belongings and quietly stared gathering them up. She could hear other students whispering and felt their stares. Yet she showed no reaction. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of defeat. She winced as she felt something heavy crushing her hand. She looked up to see Eunmi, the leader of the pack.

"Why bother showing up to exams Hyunae? You have nothing going for you in life...well except for the fact that you just happen to coincidently live with the school's flower boy. Explain to me again what your relation is to Eunhyuk oppa?"

Eunmi has been out to get Hyunae since the day she found out that she had infact lived with Eunhyuk. With jealousy overcoming her, Eunmi found Hyunae an easy target, and knew all the right buttons to push by now in order to break Hyunae apart. People had loved Hyunae ever since she was young for being sweet and pure. Eunmi never got the attention that Hyunae got, so her daily routines revolved around making Hyunae's life miserable. After Hyunae's parents died, Hyunae had lost a little of her spark and became even more introverted. Eunmi took this chance for all it was worth to "help" Eunhyuk by "avenging" his fathers death by making Hyunae wish she never existed. Although Eunhyuk didn't want to have anything to do with Eunmi, he wasn't about to stick up for Hyunae and cause more speculations about him and the girl he resented most. He let eunmi's bullying continue on, not praising nor acknowledging the fact tha Eunmi's motives behind torturing Hyunae were mainly for him.

"I have nothing to say to you Eunmi shi. I don't owe you any explanations" Hyunae held her ground as she yanked her hand from under Eunmi's foot almost causing her to fall backwards. Eunmi glared at her.

"Oh but I think you have a lot of explaining to do to a lot of unanswered questions." She stepped closer to Hyunae.

"Now's not the time Eunmi shi, exams are starting soon" Eunmi smirked and shoulder bumped Hyunae as she made her way to her seat. "Next time, i wont let you off so easily" she whispered.

Hyunae rolled her eyes and finished gathering her stuff in time before the exams were handed out.

A few hours later exams were finally over. Students were piling into the cafeteria meeting up with friends for lunch and to discuss how hard the exams were. Eunhyuk met up with his buddies and they sat at their usual table. He pulled out his lunch box and could feel the jealousy from those surrounding him for what a good quality lunch he had. He was surprised himself with the quality food Hyunae had prepared. This must have taken forever he thought. His eyes wandered around the cafeteria and stopped to see Hyunae at her usual table with her friend Lilly. She was unwrapping a sandwich from the cafeteria that looked soggy and unappetizing, yet she ate it happily despite its lack of quality. Doesn't she think cafeteria food is junk? Why isn't she eating a lunchbox like mine? She caught him staring at her and she half smiled a bit, her eyes forming the shape of two half crescent moons. He rolled his eyes and looked away. As Hyunae got up to throw away her trash, she was approached by Eunmi.

"Yah Park Hyunae, are you going to keep avoiding me the rest of your life?"

"We have no reason to interact Eunmi-shi, you are my classmate, nothing more nothing less."

"Oh but your wrong Park Hyunae, you happen to be keeping a very big secret from me, and as classmates i dont think thats fair now is it?"

By now they've gotten the attention of almost the whole cafeteria. Hyunae sighed and rolled up her sleeves.

"What do you want now Eunmi-shi? Have I wronged you in any way?" She said the last part semi sarcastically.

"Just tell me what your relation with Lee Eunhyuk is you little , and then do me a favor and leave him alone."

"Does it bother you that much, really? Well read my lips and read them well. I have no interest in Lee Eunhyuk. My only relationship to him is that I owe him something much greater than money can ever buy, and my life now revolves around my debt to him and his family. So please, get your head out of the gutter and stop assuming that there is something goin on between us.

Hyunae started to walk away when the sound of Eunmis voice stopped her.

"You're burdening them. Both of them. Haven't your parents ever taught you to not burden others?...oh wait, im sorry how insensitive of me, they're dead. You're nothing but a , a maid, a useless orphan with no where to go. Your lucky auntie took you in. But i see right through your intentions Park Hyunae. You're no angel. You're a killer. Don't you have a conscience? Living under the same roof of the family who's husband and father died because of you? If I were you I wouldn't even be in this country anymore, yet you show your face everyday constantly reminding Eunhyuk of the reason why his father is dead. Is that fun to you?"

Hyunae clenched her fists as a surge of emotion gushed through her body.

"Enough is enough Eunmi-shi. If you want him so badly that you have to belittle me that much in order to show that you care for him. Then you are the one i feel really sorry for. If you love him, then find other means to win his heart, because breaking something thats already been broken wont be of any use to you. Im tired of this all." 

She smiled sadly toward Eunmi. The spark in her eyes that was there so many years ago had finally been distinguished. She felt Lilly take a hold her her arm and lead her away from the situation. Eunmi stood there speechless, embarassed. Her hatred and resentment toward Hyunae had only grown after hearing those words. She glanced over at Eunhyuks table to see him getting ready to leave.

"Oppa..."

"Eunmi-ah, i have to go to class." He said dully and gave her a forced half smile.

Hyunae walked with Lilly after calming down a bit. Lilly was infuriated.

"Ugh! I swear one day karma is going to come back and hit her so hard in the face she wont even see it coming! I mean I knew she was a royal brat, a stereotypical mean girl, but she has definitely reached new lows!"

She smiled at Lilly, but Lilly could see through it completely. Her eyes were overcome with sadness.

"Im fine Lil, I'm stronger than that, but hey I dont think i'm gonna go to study hall today, im just gonna request early release so I'll see you tomorrow?" Lilly looked at her with a skeptical expression.

"Don't look at me like that, i just want to take a nap before work, im exhausted woman!" She joked as she made her way to the guidance office.

"Fine fine, come by tonight if you want!"

It was chilly and raining lightly as Hyunae left the school. She didn't bother with an umbrella. She liked the feeling of the rain pelats against her skin. She started walking to wherever her feet were taking her embracing the numbness that gradually overcame her body as the cold air and rain became dominant to her senses. She approached a bridge as she started to lose almost all feeling of her skin. She inhaled and exhaled cold air as she looked off into the distance.

Umma, Appa, you're upset with me aren't you? You're upset with me for having thoughts of taking my own life. Miahne...times are just hard. Uncle. You don't know how much I long to be able to call Eunhyuk-shi "oppa". Still, i know i'll never have that right, even in the lifetimes after this. I took you away from him, and in his eyes, he will never be an oppa to me. Don't be too hard on him, imagine if you were in his position. Eunmi-shi is still infatuated with him and still takes a liking to him after all these years. Love is a crazy thing I bet. How painful must that be? To have an unreciprocated love... Will I ever allow my heart to love one day? I think i've forgotten what genuine love feels like...my heart seems to be caged with guilt. Are you guys happy up there? Am I doing well?

Hyunae sighed and closed her eyes getting lost in her own world.

Eunhyuk-shi...what can i do for you to obtain true happiness? She whispered to herself.

"Get out and stay out of my life. When you cease to exist in front of my eyes, my happiness will be obtained."

She heard a voice behind her. It was Eunhyuk standing there equally as soaked as she was.

"Eunhyuk-shi.." her voice came out trembling as her brain finally registered how cold she was.

"Even when I decide to take another route home, I run into you. It's like you purposely taunt me" She swore the coldness in his voice could outcompete the dropping temperature in her body.

"Eunhyuk-shi..I know you hate me but-"

He cut her off in mid sentence

"You're right. I do hate you. I hate everything about you. How you cook and clean around the house and make my mom believe your some kind of angel when in reality you killed her husband. How I can't have anyone over because you live in the basement and I dont want anyone misunderstanding our situation. How you're a constant reminder of the reason why I dont have a happy family. You've been a burden in my life since the day you were born. If you would have just it up that night and waited it out at the party, maybe I wouldn't be saying these things to you right now. But you're the reason we had to leave early. You're the reason we encountered the drunk driver at that very moment. And you're the reason that my father died. Do you get it now? I more than hate you, I wish it was you that night who lost her life instead of my father. Maybe i could do something with my life now instead of feeling obligated to stay close to home to be with my Umma."

His words were more painful bullets. Tears threatened to fall as she stared at him through the rain.

"I can only say im sorry.... I would do anything to go back to that night and give up my life in place of your fathers...but I cant. You're not the only one suffering from a loss though Eunhyuk. At least you still have your Umma, who loves and cares for you unconditionally everyday. To have nothing, Eunhyuk, is unimaginable and a very scary thing. To feel as if your existence bears no meaning...is a very scary thing. As much as you and I both want it, I can't end my own life Eunhyuk. For the sake of Uncle and my Umma and Appa....i have to live on in order to live the life they got cut short of."

She looked up to see him staring intently at her, as if anticipating her next words.

"Go home Eunhyuk-shi..you're going to get sick". She walked away leaving him standing in the light rain thinking about what she had said. I wont let her words get to me.

Her heart ached almost as much as it did the night of the accident. Eunhyuk was right, all this time the answer had been simple and right in front of her. His happiness equaled her absence in existence...

I'd love feedback, so anything that you're thinking let me know!