“Siwon-ah, what are you doing here?” asked Leeteuk, with a look of complete surprise on his face after opening his front door.

“I don’t know…I just needed some time alone, but once I was alone…I realized I just wanted someone to talk to, and I ended up here,” said Siwon, feeling almost as surprised as Leeteuk was. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, yes, of course, I’m sorry, we were just in the middle of breakfast, but I’m sure Daerim will be thrilled, come in,” said Leeteuk with a smile as he ushered Siwon in.

When Siwon walked deeper into the apartment he saw Kangin drinking a cup of coffee at the table and Haejin and Daerim sitting across from him finishing up their bowls of cereal.

“Siwon-ah?” asked Kangin with a surprised chuckle as he looked up.

“Wonnie appa?!” asked Daerim excitedly when she realized it was him.

Before he could get any words out, Daerim was already out of her seat and halfway into his arms.

“Oh sweetheart,” Siwon exhaled as he buried his face in her hair. “I missed you so, so much.”

“I missed you too Appa! Is Kyu appa better, can I come home now?!” she asked, the lightness having found it’s way back into her voice.

Siwon smiled softly, loving that she had returned to her normal self.

“Not yet, but soon though. Very soon, I promise,” said Siwon pulling away so he could look at her eyes. “Have you been okay?”

Daerim nodded and then looked back over at Leeteuk and Kangin. “We went to the waterpark yesterday and Kanginnie samchon let me sit on his shoulders and Haejin oppa sat on Teukkie samchon’s shoulders and then we played war and I won three times! Then Haejin oppa and I went down the big slide together and I wasn’t scared at all! And then later Teukkie samchon taught me how to swim on my back, and he said I did so good! It was really fun!” she smiled.

“That sounds wonderful! I’m glad you’ve been having a good time baby,” said Siwon kissing her temple before putting her down again. “Go ahead and finish your breakfast before Haejin steals it all.”

Once down, Daerim looked back at her seat and saw Haejin stealing some of the strawberries from her cereal.

“Yah! Oppa stop, those are mine!” she said running back over.

“It’s not fair, Teukkie appa gave you more, and you still have so many!” argued Haejin as Daerim forced his spoon out of her bowl.

As they bickered over the fruit, Siwon exhaled slowly, leaning against the counter as he stared down at his feet while Kangin and Leeteuk watched him.

“What’s going on?” asked Kangin looking between him and Leeteuk.

Siwon glanced up when he realized the question was directed towards him.

“Is everything okay Siwon-ah?’” asked Leeteuk touching Siwon’s shoulder.

Siwon looked at them and then at the children. Clueing in, Leeteuk looked at Kangin who had already turned to look at the kids.

“Jin-ah, Daerim-ah, how about you go watch TV in appas’ room?” said Kangin the back of Haejin’s hair.

“But we didn’t finish our cereal,” said Haejin shaking his head in confusion.

“It’s okay, take it with you,” said Kangin.

Haejin’s eyes shot open in surprise.

“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “But Teukkie appa never let’s me—

“It’s okay sweetheart, go ahead,” interjected Leeteuk walking over to them and picking up their bowls as they stood. “No more stealing each others food though, Jinnie-ah.”

Haejin smiled as he and Daerim took their bowls and then tried to out speed-walk each other to the back of the apartment.

“Now,” said Leeteuk motioning to one of the empty chairs as he himself sat down. “What’s the problem?”

Siwon eased slowly into the chair. Although he knew his hyungs would be understanding, he didn’t exactly want to jump into explaining what had just happened between he and Kyuhyun. He wasn’t proud of exploding, but part of him was a bit relieved as well that he had finally spoken his true feelings. Now perhaps Kyuhyun could have some time to realize that he wasn’t the only one that has suffered through this.

“Is it about Kyuhyun? Is everything okay?” fished Kangin.

“We’ve both definitely seen better days than today,” Siwon said honestly.

“Is he recovering alright? Is his health back to normal?” asked Leeteuk motioning for Siwon to take a seat at the table with them.

“Physically, sure. His wound has healed perfectly,” Siwon nodded.

It was quiet for a few moments as the elder two shared glances.

“Siwon-ah, I know this has been difficult, on the both of you…Kangin and I just want to help, in anyway that we can—” started Leeteuk.

“And you have been helpful Hyung, please, don’t think that you haven’t,” said Siwon shaking his head as he suddenly snapped back to life. “You have no idea how grateful I am that the two of you have stepped in and taken care of Daerim the way you have….I can’t imagine how things would’ve turned out if she’d stayed with us the entire time.”

“You know how much she means to us. There isn’t even a question of what we’d do for her. But, call me crazy, it just seems as though you came here to do more than thank us for that,” said Kangin.

Siwon rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes.

“Kyuhyun and I had a bit of an argument this morning,” he finally sighed.

“Over what?” asked Leeteuk.

“…every night, I always find him in the baby’s nursery, crying while holding the baby’s things. So this morning, I woke up early and decided that it was time to pack everything away. He caught me, and accused me of not caring about the fact that we’ve lost him. So I…I finally snapped back at him. I was just so—angry…he has no idea how hard it’s been for me,” said Siwon, not really focusing on anyone in the room, but more so on the space before him.

“That’s a good thing though Siwon-ah. Obviously Kyuhyun has suffered a tremendous amount through all of this. But you’ve lost a son and Daerim-ah has lost a brother. Each of you has the right to be angry, sad, and whatever else you might feel,” said Leeteuk.

“I didn’t want to yell at him though. I’ve almost never done that…” said Siwon shaking his head sadly.

“He’ll understand—just like you understand that everything he’s felt and said has been reactionary. Come on, give him a little more credit. How long have the two of you been together again? I mean, if he hasn’t left you yet, I think it’s safe to say he can put up with the random outburst you give once every ten years,” said Kangin.

Siwon cracked a soft smile.

“But now the question I have is, how do we begin to move on from this?” asked Siwon. “How do we get back to how we were?”

“I don’t think you can Siwon-ah,” said Leeteuk softly. “This is a part of your lives now. It’ll get better some days, others you might feel as though you’ve landed back at Day 1. I know that loosing a child is a very different thing, but you remember how things were for Kangin and I before we were blessed with Haejin. We suffered blow after blow and it took quite awhile before I was genuinely myself again each time.”

Siwon nodded.

“I just don’t know how to help him anymore…do you think I should take him somewhere? Get away from Seoul?” suggested Siwon.

“It might make a difference, but just temporarily. Everything would just be waiting for you once you got back,” reasoned Leeteuk.

“That’s true,” sighed Siwon.

 “Look, he’s your husband, so you know him better than all of us. But the way I see it, all you can do is be there for him. When he’s happy celebrate that and embrace it. When he’s sad, comfort him. It will get better. It will,” said Kangin patting his shoulder.

“I just hope that’ll be enough,” said Siwon looking into both their eyes.

After Siwon had left, Kyuhyun dragged himself back to bed, feeling more exhausted than he had in weeks. He was angry with himself. Angry for not recognizing he wasn’t the only one in pain. Of course Siwon had suffered. But he had been blind to it all. Now as he lay in their bed he winced with every memory of the past few weeks, when Siwon would try to comfort him or brighten his mood, or explain to others that he just wasn’t ready to face the world yet. He had taken it all for granted and now he was disgusted with himself.

When his phone began to ring on the bedside table, his eyes flicked over to it for a moment, before he completely rolled over to the other side, facing away from  it.

It was Siwon. It had to be. Who else would call him besides Siwon at this point? And he was too embarrassed at the moment to confront him. Or maybe…his mother? He groaned at the thought of missing a call from her. It would only prompt her to call Siwon and then that would start a storm of more worry that he didn’t want any part of—

The cease of the ringing quieted his thoughts and he shrank deeper into the sheets.

Sleep seemed like the best way to avoid the heaviness he felt now.

It barely felt as though ten minutes had passed before his phone rang again. Halfway into sleep, he chose to ignore it again and nestled even deeper into the sheets.

Twenty minutes later…

“Jagiyah…we should just let him continue sleeping. He needs his rest.”

“No, from the way Siwon talked, this is has gone on too long without any hope of getting better, he needs some support.”

Kyuhyun thought he was dreaming. How else would he be hearing these voices, he reasoned.

“Well what are you planning to do exactly?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I’m not going to let him carry on like this, what kind of friend would I be?”

“I just think it’s too soon. I know that you don’t want to see him depressed, but this is a lot to deal with and it should be expected that it’ll take him a long time to process it all.”

“But the only way to do that is to try to start living again. And sometimes people need a boost.”

Kyuhyun was sure he was awake now. And those voices, he knew exactly who they belonged to, but he was still in disbelief that they were here, now.

“If you don’t want to help, that’s fine, just give me about thirty minutes, okay?”

There was a sigh, “I’ll go sort out the groceries and prepare him something to eat.”

“That sounds perfect, thank you yeobo.”

And with that, Kyuhyun realized he was alone with the one voice.

Before he had time to decide whether he should pretend to be asleep or speak, the sheets were yanked from his body and he was exposed to the room.

“Kyuhyun-ah, I know you're awake,” said Changmin after tossing the sheets to the side.

“What are you doing here?” asked Kyuhyun, admitting defeat and opening his eyes.

“Saving your life and your marriage,” said Changmin turning on Kyuhyun’s beside lamp.

Kyuhyun groaned, squinting his eyes even tighter under the harsh light.

“What are you talking about? Everything is fine, we’re fine Min, you can leave now,” said Kyuhyun putting his pillow across his face.

“Oh you're right, my mistake…uh, where is Daerim, or Siwon…why are you still in bed and the entire apartment dark?”

“Out. They're out. And I’m just tired. That’s all. I’m glad you stopped by…but really, we’re fine,” mumbled Kyuhyun through the pillow.

“That’s not what Siwon said,” sighed Changmin taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

Kyuhyun slowly pulled the pillow away from his face.

“When did you speak to Siwon?” asked Kyuhyun softly.

“Daerim stayed with us for a little while and when he dropped her off, he and I had a small talk about you. …he’s holding back Kyu, he’s trying to be strong, but it’s not fair to him—

“He’s not holding back anymore,” said Kyuhyun.

“What do you mean?” asked Changmin.

“We got into a fight earlier, that’s why he’s not here now,” admitted Kyuhyun sitting up and putting his head into his hands.

It was quiet as Changmin realized that Kyuhyun was beginning to cry.

“I don’t want to push him away, but I can’t stand for him to see me like this,” he sniffled.

“He’s the only way you’re going to get through this though Kyu. This isn’t something you can just “make” better. You have to be patient with yourself and with him,” said Changmin putting his hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Kyuhyun said shaking his head helplessly.

“Well, the first step is gonna be picking yourself up out of bed. Taking a warm shower, and coming to have dinner with me and Mina,” said Changmin.

“I don’t want to go out now Min,” Kyuhyun said dismissively.

“Not ‘out’. Mina and I picked up some things for you and she’s starting on cooking dinner now. By the time you're dressed and ready, everything will be done. I promise.”

“Why are you doing all of this? I feel awful about not talking to you for the last few weeks either Min-ah. I can’t believe you even want to speak to me now—

“Cho Kyuhyun!” snapped Changmin softly. “You and I are best friends. Aren’t we?”

Kyuhyun nodded.

“We go back before any of this started and we’ll continue long after it’s over. You remember that, okay? We’re family. This is what family does. You pick each other up when one is down. Don’t you remember how I felt when Mina told me she was leaving Korea? I was depressed, I didn’t want to work, and I just stayed inside? And you were the one who told me to fly to China and ask her to marry me, weren’t you?”

Kyuhyun nodded again.

“I’ll never forget that. Because of you, I had the strength to go after the woman I loved and now she and I have Nara. You gave me that strength. Now it’s time for me to return the favor. We’re going to help get you through this. So are you ready?”

Kyuhyun was still for a moment, thinking about Changmin’s words before nodding.

“Yeah?” clarified Changmin.

“Okay,” agreed Kyuhyun with a small smile.

The afternoon heat had subsided by the time that Siwon walked through the front doors of his building again. But the moment he approached his front door, he could sense that something was a bit ‘off’ and he wasn’t sure he should enter or not.

After putting in the code, he turned the handle and stepped inside, immediately he was embraced by the scent of food and music playing from the heart of their home.

For weeks their apartment had been cloaked in a heavy silence, so the massive shift hit him hard and made him feel as though he had stumbled into the wrong place.

“Kyu?!” he called out experimentally, as he stepped into the rest of the apartment.

He was answered with laughter that came from the dining room of the apartment. A laugh that made him stop suddenly in his tracks. That was Kyuhyun’s laugh.

“K—Kyu?” asked Siwon.

Once his feet began working again, Siwon rushed around the corner and saw that Kyuhyun was sitting at the table with Changmin and Mina. It seemed that they had finished their meal long ago and were all nursing cups of tea or coffee as they talked.

Kyuhyun had been sitting with his back to the opening of the room, but he turned when he heard Siwon approach. His eyes were bright, almost wet with happy tears. And his cheeks were pink. A color that they hadn’t been in a very long time. His hair was combed, he’d shaved and changed into a pair of jeans and a thin sweater. He looked like himself again, finally. It was sight that made Siwon’s heart break for all the right reasons.

He didn’t care how it happened or when, only that his Kyu was sitting in front of him now, and he wanted to savor it for as long as the moment lasted.

“Wonnie, you're home,” said Kyuhyun standing with a warm smile.

Siwon looked at Kyuhyun for a moment and then at Changmin and Mina who were also smiling at him.

Without saying another word, Siwon embraced Kyuhyun tightly.

Kyuhyun gasped, feeling some of the air escape him, before wrapping his arms around Siwon as well.

“You came back,” he whispered playfully against Siwon’s ear which made the strong arms hold him that much tighter.

“So did you,” Siwon said softly, his body finally at ease with releasing the tension he had been holding in for a very long time.