We really needed to talk, didn’t we? Or else things were just going to get more and more complicated. My mother was wrong the other time. I could feel things were changing. Jiyong wasn’t just my neighbor anymore. And it wasn’t just for Haru. I’d been able to shove the kiss into a dusty little corner of my mind but two weeks afterward it was still popping into my mind. I was going to get my heart involved, if it wasn’t already.

I crossed him once or twice during these two weeks in the building hall or in the stairs but it seemed that he didn’t know much more how to talk to me without being awkward. He was being all considerate and respectful of my choice but maybe what he didn’t understand was that I needed him to push. Just a little.

I didn’t want to be the first to make the first step. I was too unconfident for that.

The front door opened this morning and Bom unni swept in, all bright and energetic as always. It wasn’t a surprise for me to see her in my living room kissing Haru on the crown of her head because she was the one who was going to take care of Haru during her holydays. Bom unni was a teacher so she was in vacation too and was eager to pass time with my daughter.

“So, you have to explain me something Lee Chaerin. Two weeks ago, I saw you with a ing good-looking man but now I see that there’s still no men in your apartment, unless you're hiding him in your closet. What’s wrong with you? This guy was a nine!”

Bom unni had a secret code to speak about guys. As soon as she would eye a man she would give him a number from 0 to 10. If the guy was 0 it meant that it was a nerd without any talents. And if the guy was 10 then he was a surnatural god. And was fukable. And she was right, Jiyong was a nine. Almost a god. He had the brain, the muscles, the eyes. But he was still a brat. And honestly none of us already meet a 10. It was a urban legend.

“Unless his ‘lollypop’ couldn’t satisfy you!” Bom added.

“Unni, we did nothing.” I sighed finishing my cup of coffee

“No nightstand?” She frowned as if it was impossible for her

“No.” I snaped

“Geez, if you had drank a little more alcohol and a little less Sprite you’d be in his bed right now!”

~

I sighed for about the millionth time tonight. I couldn’t sleep. I could hear Seungri’s snoring from my room and Gaho was lazily lying at the end of my bed. My life really .

There had been so many ups and down recently in my life that it made it difficult to judge where I stood. I was I think a good songwriter, billion of people were listening to my songs all around the world but not even knowing I was the one who wrote it. All these people were dancing or nodding to the rhythm of my songs not even minding that I gave all my emotions in the lyrics.

I was single. I hadn’t seen my parents for three years. I was speaking to my dog.

But there she came into my life.

 I found myself more intrigued than ever by the person of Lee Chaerin. I wanted to know her more, her likes and her dislikes, her interests and everything. But I had a feeling that it was going to be more difficult after I dared kissing her.

I crossed her a couple of time since that night but I was uncomfortably aware that she’s erected a parapet of wariness to the wall I wanted to get past. What I needed to do, I realized, was to create opportunities where I could be alone with her.

“I need to put her at ease Gaho, but how am I supposed to do that huh?” I whispered as my dog had now woken up and was cuddling against my side.

I sighed nudging his little furry head.

“If only I knew her number…”

The morning after, I had some difficulties to wake up. First because I didn’t sleep because of Seungri’s snores and secondly because YG was going to meet us at the studio for a first listening of Bigbang’s new album. He was a perfectionist and I knew that if he didn’t like the album he would make us start again from the start. And because of that appointment I had to wake up earlier. As if I was really working.

“Jiyong” I heard Seungri sighing loudly from my doorway

“ you” I yawned

“Seriously, I know that you’re a marginal and you’re not use to work schedules but you need to fit the mould.”

I snaped my head to Seungri, “That’s why I’m a songwriter, because I don’t fit the mould.”

I gave Seungri a look over, scanning from his toes back to his exasperated face. He was already wearing his formal black suit and an apron on it showing that he had made breakfast.

I said I hadn’t seen my parents for three years. Not because they didn’t love me. But mostly because they knew Seungri and they trusted him to make sure I was a well growing up boy. Seungri was cooking for me. Cleaning the apartment. Paying our food. And showering Gaho.

The only thing I had to do was to pay the rent.

Seungri was my real true friend since high school. He was a bit too glue to me but I was used to it. So I resigned.

“Aish… I’m coming. Give me ten minutes.”

I woke up to a cup of coffee and a chocolate donut. Seungri stalked his crush again last night.

“Is there something you would want me to do today?” I asked him as I finished drinking my coffee and grabbed my donut

“Try not to kidnap another child.”

“Really funny.”

I picked up my bag and head for the door. Seungri was right, I was going to be late.

She was standing at the mailboxes in the building hall, sorting through electricity bills. She grimaced. I’d already proposed her to help her to pay her bills, just as her friend but Chaerin was just a proud woman. Even if I knew she always had difficulties at the end of the month.

She was also talking with one of our neighbor, Jennie Park which had a huge, warm smile spreading across her face as she saw me. I smiled back to her politely even if I was more concern about Chaerin at that time.

“Hey, Chaerin,” I said in my warmer iest voice as I leant my shoulder against the metallic letterboxes next to her

“Hello,” she said, barely turning to acknowledge me. I knew she wasn’t being rude or anything, I just realized with time that she wasn’t a morning person. Just like me.

“Hi, Jiyong-shii! You’re going out pretty earlier today?” Jenny laughed sheepishly

“Oh, Hi. Yeah… But how do you know that?” I asked confused

“It’s… Well… You know I… You… Nevermind. I need to go. Have a good day Jiyong-shi!” she suddenly became as red as a tomato and escaped looking down at the floor.

I frowned but decided to forget about her. I opened my letterbox, and it’s like champagne popping, the way the papers burst out and flutter to the floor.

“!” I said and kneeled

“She knows that because she likes you. You should ask her out someday.”

I looked up at Chaerin as I realized she was speaking to me, “Oh… Maybe I should then,” I grinned trying to . It actually worked as she blinked, “Or not. Where’s Haru?”

“It’s Summer Jiyong, children aren’t going to school.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” I asked suddenly even if I knew the answer. I scared her with the kiss. She didn’t love me back because I was just another brat. But I was just craving to hear it from her.

“Life got in the way?” she shrugged but I showed her I didn’t believe her. She sighed and said, “The truth is, I like you. You’re probably the exact type of guy I should be dating. But I’m not sure now is the right time to start something.”

“You’re afraid to fall in love.” I stated crossing my arms on my chest.

“No,” she protested, “I’m afraid to fall for the wrong person again. I’m afraid of trusting too much and expecting too much.” She looked down shamely

I could understand. I’d been hurt so much time because I would always easily trust people. I slowly and gently took her hand into mine trying to reassure her. “Look at me Chaerin,” I urged her.

She hesitated for a minute before turning her head toward me. Our eyes met.

“I’m not Haru’s father. And I’m not mister perfect either. I go out a lot. I drink. I smoke. I would be lost without my roommate. But I offer you my soul. Because I like you. A lot.”

“I have a really bad habit of making a mess of good thing. You should know that about me.” She confessed.

“And I have a really bad habit of leaving my socks on the bathroom floor.”

“It’s not really the same thing Jiyong.”

“A bad habit is a bad habit.” I shrugged and held her hands in mines.

“I was thinking… Do you want to accompany me and Haru to my friend’s barbecue next Saturday? I mean, Haru wants to see you too.”

“Great, it would be a pleasure.”