Chap. 25 – Not Loving Nobody Anymore

Jaejoong loved Nobody. He knew it, he could feel it whenever his eyes landed on that particular person. Just thinking about her made his heart cringe. But she wasn’t his Sunshine anymore, she didn’t deserve that nickname. Maybe she was the moon; shining in front of him brightly. He should have looked closer at her in order to see the black shades of the Moon on her. Unlighted shades you didn’t see at once even thought they were certainly there.

Jaejoong stopped in his tracks when he saw his old friend standing alone in the corridor. Her heavy long hair covered her face well, hiding away her pretty eyes underneath the bangs. She must have thought she was invisible on their first day of school. Jaejoong sighed as he observed the girl. Sunny was still the Sunshine, he couldn’t deny it. Like the Sun, she would forever stand alone. Like the Sun, she would glow from distance, and burn you once you get too close. Just like the sun, Sunny loved nobody.

Suddenly Sunny turned her head towards the black-sheep, and they locked eyes.  She looked at him with a hopeful expression, anticipating his next move to the fullest. The familiar expression Jaejoong had sported often nowadays, could once again be seen on him. A true nonchalance before looking away, and passing by her with head held high.

Yes, he did love her but not for long. He was certain he would get over her soon, and let her fade into air. Like the Sun, she hurts the most now but there’ll come a turning point. Slowly her glowing will decrease. One day, he won’t notice her anymore. She’ll hide as always and for once he’ll let her have it that way. He’ll just walk pass her without even noticing her presence, without his heart beats increasing and his palms sweating. One day, she’ll be gone forever. That day will surely come.

Silently, she watched him from across the canteen. She was sitting alone behind a pillar, making sure none would give attention to her. Physiques book lying in front of her saved her from having to look up, and meet those mocking smirks sent towards her. Unfortunately, today she couldn’t concentrate on the book either. Her mind would always wonder of, and somehow she’d always end up thinking about her first male friend.

Now again, her eyes were searching after him. Soon enough she found the blond. The lean teenager was walking with a group of friends, just as cool as he has always been. His wrinkled school uniform sitting leisurely, making sure everyone knew he was a rebel. His dark blond hair grown down, in urgent need of cutting. Laughing loudly, making sure every single student in the canteen knew. The great Kim Jaejoong has arrived and was more bad- than ever. 

She took a small bite of her lunch while continuing watching that boy. Normally she was almost a heavy-eater, but today nothing made her appetite back to usual. And all the while the only thing she’d think about was the black-sheep. How could he be so alright? Didn’t he used to love her? How could he get over her so quickly? Why did he give up? Why was he so unaffected while she was truly a mess? Come to think of it, why was she a mess? Wasn’t this what she wanted all along; for him to realize that this wouldn’t work out?

All the questions were left unanswered, as she gave up on eating. Hurriedly she walked through the canteen while stealing a glance at the friend who made her heart hurt. The black-sheep didn’t even look up when she walked pass him.

“Jaejoong, I need to talk to you!” suddenly, a cold female voice said full of authority. The popular troublemaker looked up with narrowed eyes. Searching for the person who dared talking to him like that, he soon found Jessica standing in front of him with crossed arms.  

“No.” he said courtly while glaring at his so-called neighbor. A minute of glaring came while the siblings wanted to murder each other without using words. Finally, Jaejoong gave in as he rose from his seats while looking away in annoyance.

“See you guys, I have to take care of something.” He muttered through gritted teeth before walking after his sister. The female genius led the way to the rooftop. Before she could open , Jaejoong already answered.

“No.” he said, and was just about to walk back when Jessica grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t be like this!” she pleaded almost desperately.

“Why shouldn’t I? She has been like this the whole year. Now it’s my turn!” he said sternly, but his equally thick-headed little sister never let his arm go.

“Please, Jaejoong! Can’t you see how lonely she is?”

“She’s always lonely, that’s her trademark.” He muttered before the muscles relaxed on his face. His sullen expression changed to melancholic. “Jess, I love her, you know I do. All these months I’ve been chasing her to no vain, only causing my heart sorrow. It’s time to realize it was a lost case all along. Please, sister, I just want to forget her!” he whispered while looking down. Jessica’s stern eyes relented while listening to her brother.

“I guess you must’ve been hurting a lot while loving her.” she concluded softly, and only got a nod as an answer. “I guess continuing being friends with her would do more harm than good. Fine, Jaejoong, sorry for interrupting your meal.” She gave in with a sigh while looking away defeated.

“It’s alright, I was already done. Good bye, neighbor.” He said with a weak smile which Jessica returned.

“Good bye, neighbor.” She also said playfully, but with a blue expression with her eyes on the schoolyard underneath them.   

Freedom came to its end and Jaejoong went to his Math class. Out of habit he immediately started searching for his sunshine. Nevertheless, he stopped before he could find her. Determined on not looking at her, he looked the other way as he made his way to the back seats.

“Where’s Sunny? Something must’ve happened to her. Jaejoong, could you go and find her?” the teacher asked, just when Jaejoong sat down. Groining inwardly he only nodded and bit his tongue. It was the first time of the year, and he didn’t want to be talking back already. Otherwise he could kiss the good grades good-bye.  

Alone he searched the empty corridors without seeing any sign of her. Why did he have to search for her? He was one of the students who needed to be on Math class badly. How on earth would he be able to do homework otherwise? Banning the stupid teacher, and that stupid girl, he walked around. Suddenly, a soft quiet noise hit his ears. Looking around he soon discovered that the noise came from the female restroom. Deliberate for finding a sign of life, he walked into the restroom thoughtlessly. The scene infront of him was like a slap in his face.

Sunny was crunching down at the sink, sobbing ever so painfully. Her always well-kept boring black hair was all over her face, with small loops in it. Her cheeks were glittering with tears. Her shoulders shook and she had a hard time breathing. She looked up at him with runny nose, and wet lashes that stuck together like little spider webs.

The two were staring at each other, waiting for the other to make a move. None of them did. The young crying girl was too afraid she’d make a mistake. The boy, afraid to have a change of heart. Both just waited and hoped the other would do something. Say something.

In the end, the boy’s hardened heart never yielded and soundlessly he left.

“I couldn’t find her, Seonsaengnim.” He later told his teacher.

At seven pm he finally came home, right after finishing his homework. The innocent, cheerful laughter of Krystal and Taemin greeted him at home. With a happy smile, he walked in and said hi the two kids.

“Oppa, do you want to sing Karaoke with us?” Krystal asked enthusiastically beaming.

“Sorry guys, but I better not. I’m afraid I’d kick your asses too badly, and you’d never want to sing again.” he smirked jokingly while plopping down next to them.

“No, Taemin’s good at singing. We against you would totally kick your .” Krystal pouted.

“Sorry, I’m tired. You sing and I’ll help you out when you don’t know the song.” Jaejoong answered while taking his phone out. Soon he was lost in his phone as he was reading some music interviews.

“I know what we can do. Oppa, can you sing the songs while Taemin and I dance? Taemin knows some cool moves and I want to learn them too.” Krystal explained while giving the mic to the happy Jaejoong. Actually he wanted to sing all along, just didn’t want to ruin the kids’ moment.

“Alright, let’s go! First song is from Shinhwa.” Jaejoong said while he picked Krystal’s favorite song.  Time run fast and soon, Jaejoong forgot all of his worries. Out of the blue, suddenly the doorbell rang. The three looked up surprised and Krystal skipped over to the door.

“Oppa, Sunny wants to talk to you.” She exclaimed and Jaejoong’s face changed as he looked at the door.

All of his worries came once again crushing on his shoulders. His eyes faltered as he looked at the girl standing in the hallway. Contemplating what he should do, he bit his lips. He wanted to say no but then he’d embarrass Sunny in front of the kids. Figuring he couldn’t escape her and their problems anymore, he walked over with a sigh.

“What?” he softly asked while looking down at his feet. Sunshine’s eyes were the key. As long as he avoided them he figured he’d be alright.

“Let’s take a walk, please.” Sunny begged just as silently.

“Fine, come on.” Jaejoong sighed again before holding up the door for the Sunshine he was planning to forget.

Together they walked to the elevator as they used to. The only change now was their hearts, and somehow none of them knew what to say. Jaejoong didn’t bother looking at the person standing closely in that little run-down elevator. Almost feeling the burning Sunny’s miserable eyes caused, he looked away. Breathing in her scent, a mixture of fabric softener and deodorant, his once stoic face cringed slightly. She was so pure and fresh.

“I miss you.” Those three precious words left her lips. Still Jaejoong made sure not to look her way.

“I know you do.” He silently whispered too while leaning back at the wall and looking down at his nails. At a calm space the elevator opened its door but none of them moved. Soon the elevator closed once again.

“Can’t we go back to normal? Don’t you miss me too?”

“No, I don’t want to be your friend. I do miss you but I don’t want your friendship.”

“I miss my dear rebel too. I miss your stupid remarks, thoughtless jokes, bad behavior. I miss your presence next to me, how you always saved me from being alone. Your scent, your laughter, your voice. I miss all of you. During this time, I realized I hold you close to my heart.” she confessed indirectly the awful truth she’s been trying to ignore. She watched her Jaejoong’s face closely, waiting for reaction. “Jaejoong, why won’t we try to be something more?”

“You don’t love me, Sunny. It wouldn’t work out.” Jaejoong simply stated the other side of the awful truth too.

“I don’t know what I feel. I’ve never been in a relationship before, I don’t know what I feel. I know you’re not just a friend to me anymore, you’re much more. I know that I miss you terribly and can’t seem to concentrate on anything else but you. You’re all over in my head all the time. I don’t know what this is, but it’s surely not just friendship. Please, give us a chance to find out what this is!”

“I’m all over your head?” Jaejoong asked with a smile as he glanced at the blushing girl.

“You are.”

“Sounds like infatuation to me, it’s a good beginning.” Jaejoong answered pleased while he took the girl’s hand. “So, we’re going to give it a try?” he asked contently.

“I think we should.” Sunny nodded while she watched the teenager lean closer to her.

“Good. Now close your eyes.” He whispered before kissing her tenderly.

Maybe it was just a short peck, Sunny couldn’t really remember afterwards. It could have been a French kiss too, for all she knows. The only thing she remembered was that it was beautiful, full of love and gentleness. Even though she was an amateur in love, her first kiss became perfect. With the right person, at the right time, it couldn’t have been better.

365 days ago, their friendship begun in that elevator.

365 days later, a friendship ended and love begun.

Jaejoong didn’t love Nobody anymore, because the silent invisible girl became his Sunshine.

Sunny didn’t love nobody anymore either, she loved Kim Jaejoong the used-to-be rebel.

Together, they were two youngsters so fully in love.

Because love conquers it all. 

-

Thank you you so much! I had a wonderful time writing this and reading the comments. It also helped me to develop my writing language. I don't know when to start my next chaptered fix, but I'll definitely post short stories in the near future. You're welcome to read them :) also, if I'll do a sequel, I'll post the link it here. Also, I'll probably edit this story, fix grammar errors.

Super-duper big, huge thanks to four amazing users who commented frequently: kyonhae912, -eirlys, viaxoxo and yellowina. Thank you, you made my days while writing this! 

Also, thank you all who have subscribed and upvoted!

Have a good Monday everyone :)

yellowina: sorry to make you sad with the 24th chapter, I'll hope you're alright now :) at least I tried my bext to help them XD thank you for commenting throughout the story, I am and was always very thankful for it :)

Aurorastarlight: hello new reader! I hope you mean well with the rollercoaster comment, I can overdo the plot sometimes :D finally, Sunny was nice in the end, and realized her feelings, that stubborn girl... I hope you had a good time reading, and thank you for commenting! :)