Nightmares were like ghosts and Soo Hyun was my amulet. Everytime he held me to sleep, I'd sleep soundly like a baby. We became best friends, just like we once were except he didn't know. I felt really bad for not telling him but I'm doing that for his own good. I knew his feelings for me and if he found out about our pasts, his feelings would be way deeper. I'd never accept him because firstly, I'm already a used good. Secondly, I have too many issues. It'd be very unfair for him if I kept mum about everything and be with him. I'd rather sacrifice my own happiness because I... I loved him. I admitted to myself that I didn't just like him. I loved him, and because I loved him I would choose to hurt him as little as possible due to the fact that I'd definitely hurt him, unintentionally though.

My parents were coming back soon and that meant he'd find it out sooner. To say I was afraid was a total understatement.

"Shall we go now?" Soo Hyun asked when I exited my apartment. We go to school together everyday. It has become a routine, a habit for us. I nodded and we headed off. We reached school really quickly and we started on our homework that we had to hand up in two days. I was so engrossed with my work that I didn't hear the knock on our class door until Soo Hyun nudged me. The class was making a lot of noises so I thought it was the teacher but I was so wrong. I looked up only to get choked on my saliva, leading to me coughing like mad.

It's Damon. All the girls in class were talking about how hot he was but all I thought of was what an he is. Damon caught my eye and started walking towards me.

"Long time no see, Oli," He smirked. All I want to do is kill him and go to jail for it. I wouldn't mind that at all. I pretended I didn't hear him and ignored him only to be forcefully dragged out of class. Soo Hyun hurried along with us to make sure I am safe but I really wished he didn't. Damon brought me to a place where no one was around. "I missed you and my child."

" you Damon," I spat in his face.

"Oh, I'd like that," He said. Right then, Soo Hyun came and threw a punch right in his face. I didn't know he understood English. I quickly pulled Soo Hyun away before he killed him even though that sounded pretty good. Damon laid on the floor, groaning, and we took the chance to run away. We ran to a park nearby that had no one around. I took a seat and Soo Hyun sat beside me with some space between us. 

It was silent for awhile until Soo Hyun touched my shoulder, causing me to look up. 

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. I looked at him and then looked down. 

"If I tell you, you will definitely judge me."

"I won't. I don't know if you know but I like you. I'm not forcing you to be with me but let me be your close friend."

I looked at him. He was so sincere and I knew he truly cared about me but I'm sure he'll still judge me even if he didn't say it out. I won't hide the secret anymore even though I never intended or wanted to tell him because he would definitely find it out one day and I'd rather I be the one telling him. If he decided to leave after hearing what happened then he can leave. I stayed quiet for awhile, trying to figure out how to tell him.

"Well, I know you might judge me for this but I'm just going to tell you. You'll find out sooner or later anyway," I said while looking down. I didn't want to see his face full of judgement. "He was my ex-boyfriend and we were drunk one day. We did the wrong things and I got pregnant. He dumped me immediately after I told him. My family hated me and I wasn't given food and proper care. My dad forced me to abort the baby but I wouldn't."

I looked up and saw him looking at me, his expression remain unchanged except there was a hint of anger. 

"Then... Where is the baby now?" He asked carefully. This brought tears to my eyes. I looked up and pointed to the sky. 

"There, in heaven. I had a miscarriage not long after that's why I often get cramps since it happened not long ago," I said. He surprised me by wiping my tear away and then giving me a hug. He didn't say anything. He probably didn't know what to say. We broke apart awhile later.

"I want to kill that but I'm controlling myself. And your family was too much as well."

"Don't you hate me? Or even look down on me?"

"Why should I? It's the past and you didn't want it either. I'm sure you've suffered more than enough," He told me. He then put his hands on both sides of my face. "Let's go back and take our bags. I don't think you're in the mood for class. I'll tell the teacher that you're unwell and I have to bring you home since we're neighbours." 

I nodded and followed him. He took me home and I went to bed immediately. When I woke up there was chicken soup smell and it made me hungry. I went out of my room. Soo Hyun was wearing an apron and holding a pot. He grinned at me and beckoned me over to sit. He then scooped a bowl of rice and placed it in front of me. I smiled at him gratefully. As I ate, I realised that I can tell him who I was because he already knew my secret so there's no point keeping my identity from him.