"This can't be true... This isn't true, right? It just can't be..." I kept telling myself. "This must be a nightmare."

I slapped myself on my cheek and realised yes, this was it. It's not a dream or anything, it happened. Tears were streaming down my cheeks while I sat there in a daze. This mess... was it possible to get out of it? I could not believe it but yet I had to. I went back home and jumped into bed to cry. All I could do was cry. I felt so useless, so helpless. I couldn't tell anyone, could I? I fell asleep after all the intense crying and woke up to my mom putting clothes into my wardrobe. 

"Thanks mom," I croaked out, my voice hoarse from crying. She turned, surprised to see me awake. 

"Welcome," she smiled. "Anyway, did you replenish the sanitary pads?"

"No, why?"

"I bought these two months back. You didn't use it for two months? How can that be?" She asked. . . . Why did I have such an observant mom? 

"Oh... erm I think Eli used it and put it back?" I quickly said. She frowned. (Eli is my older sister)

"Why would she do that? I bought her some too. Did you miss your period? For two months?" Mom asked looking concerned. I nodded slowly, holding my breath. "Should I bring you to the doctor? What if there's something wrong?"

I quickly refused, telling her that my period must be coming since I had cramps and sore s recently. She nodded and left the room. My mom's definitely going to find out soon. It was scary how I can't hide anything from her. During dinner I barely ate anything because I had no appetite. I was a wreck inside although I looked normal outside. I told my mom I had to go out for awhile when I finished dinner. I called my boyfriend Damon to meet me at a park nearby our houses. Since I reached earlier than him I sat on the bench to wait. All of a sudden two hands covered my eyes. I jumped at the sudden contact causing the person to laugh heartily.

"You get scared so easily Oli," Damon chuckled. He ruffled my hair and then took a seat beside me. "What is it that got you to call me out in such a hurry?"

I sighed. "I have something important to tell you." 

"What is it? You can tell me anything darling," Damon smiled while putting his hand over mine. My hands were shaking and I had a bad feeling about this. It was starting to drizzle and to me it was a sign. A sign of sadness. There were some weak thunders and I knew it'll be pouring in minutes. I took in a deep breath to gain some courage.

"I'm pregnant." 

I heard Damon's sharp intake of air. His hand flew away from mine like I was a scorching bun and he jumped away from me. The rain, as expected, got even heavier. I looked up to see Damon glaring at me. 

"You're saying it's mine?" 

"You are the only one I've ever slept with. That night was my first and last time. That night where we were drunk."

"And you want me to marry you or something?" He asked, his voice was cold unlike before. I shook my head as tears started to make their way down my cheeks. "Just abort it."

I gasped at that. That is the most inhumane thing I've ever heard. "I won't abort it. I may not like what had happened but I'm not cruel like you. I won't kill my own child." I glared at him. 

"Well then we break up. I'm not gonna be responsible with that. You could've gotten rid of it and we can go back to normal but you chose otherwise," he said nonchalantly. I stared at him in disbelief. How could anyone be so cruel? 

"Fine. I don't want to be with such a heartless person anyway," I shouted at him. I sobbed slightly but I tried to hold back because I don't want to let him see me cry. 

"Just so you know," Damon started. I cut him off by holding my hand up. I didn't want to listen to him at all. His voice, his words, they all disgusted me. He continued anyway. 

"Even if this didn't happen, I wouldn't want you," He sneered. "Nobody does." He left after, leaving me to cry in the rain. I sat there for a long, long time. I was hurting so badly and no one cared. People who passed by just looked at me before turning away. No one bothered to see if anything was wrong. My head was in so much pain yet it couldn't measure up to the pain in my heart. Nothing could. My never-ending tears were mixed into the rain. I cried so hard and the next thing I knew, I was in my warm bed with a doctor standing by my bedside. That was when I knew I was dead, and I'd prefer if it was literal.

I saw my family standing at the end of my bed, looking angry and disappointed. I knew that they already found out about my pregnancy. I was prepared to get beaten to death by my dad. Although our family was pretty opened about things and we weren't old-fashion, pregnancy before marriage is a big no. My dad looked so furious he was probably cursing me to death inside. I cried. I cried out of fear for myself and for my baby. The doctor left after giving instructions on how to take care of me but I could tell no one was listening. No one wanted to take care of the disgrace of the family. 

"Abort the baby," Dad said sternly. I shook my head while wiping the tears off furiously.

"I can't do that," I said softly. "It's cruel."

Dad threw one of my flower vases on the floor and it broke into a million pieces just like my heart did. We all jumped at the sudden crash. I cried even harder. He pulled my hair up suddenly, forcing me to look at him. This was the first time I saw him this scary. He was always gentle and kind to me however all I saw was a monster. It scared me tremendously. His face was beet red from anger and I could see the veins at his neck pulsing.

"You do that or I'll kill you," he snarled. He then let go of my hair roughly, causing me to wince at the pain he caused. My headache got even worse and all I wanted was to sleep forever. My mom dragged him out of my room but before she left, she glared at me. Her eyes were filled with judgement. Only my sister stayed behind. Although she was disappointed in me, she was still more understanding than my parents because our ages were closer so she was more open-minded. She waited for me to finish my medicine before leaving the room. I was all alone. Whoever said that your family would always be there for you was lying.

That night, no one came to check on me. No one came to give me dinner and I couldn't go down as I was too unwell. Even the housekeeper left me alone although that would probably be my dad's instruction. My head was aching madly and I kept throwing up because of the pain. Suicide crossed my mind but I wouldn't do that because I still have to think of my baby. I wanted to live. I wanted to prove to everyone that I didn't need them but how could I when my future looked so bleak? I could only stare up at the ceiling, wondering why this had to happen to me.