I returned to 15&'s dorm, flustered by what happened between Mark and I earlier. I mentally banged my head on the wall, disappointed at myself for letting him kiss me like he owned me. I can see how badly out of hand this was all getting and I prayed for my departure home to come by faster so that I can escape Mark and his torture. Now, I didn't know if calling Meng was right. I kissed some other guy while in a relationship so calling my boyfriend and making it seem like I did nothing wrong was wrong.  A piece of me still longed to hear Meng's soothing voice that always drowned out the worries and thoughts I beat myself with. I stepped into the living room, noticing the girls weren't back from their schedules yet. I sat by the window thata overlooked the bust freeway below at the bridge that crossed over the big mass of water of the Han River. My hands did their own thing and I found myself dial Meng's number, waiting for him to pick up on the other end.

"Hey, Kate. I was just about to call you. I miss you." Meng picked up with a smile ringing in his voice, like he was so delighted that I called him at the same time he was about to call me.

I remained silent because his voice really made me feel at ease.

"Kate, babe....you there?"

"Y-yeah...I'm here...."

"What's wrong?"

That's why I admired Meng so much. He knows when something is wrong with me and goes straight to asking me. He doesn't ask the obvious questions like 'are you alright?' 'you don't sound okay..'. He doesn't waste time beating around the bush, afraid to ask me when I sounded distressed or upset. Hearing him ask that, my tears rolled down, pouring harder after each tear. His voice and question made me feel the guilt I was trying to avoid since the occurrence with Mark in the alley. I was so ashamed. I felt dirty.

"Babe, talk to me please." He begged. "You don't know how much I want to hug and hold you right now. I don't like the idea of you crying alone like this."

"H-how..d-do you know I'm c-crying..?"

"By the way you are talking, I just know you are. Plus, you're never this quiet."

Gosh, he really knew me best. The miles apart that we are, he still made it seem like he was right next to me, witnessing my bawling state.

I whispered, "Meng, I miss you so much. I really, really miss you." I cried harder.

"I miss you too, Kate but hearing your voice makes it all better. I can just close my eyes and imagine being with you."

I smiled after the tears. Meng just had this authority that could make me smile when I've been feeling miserable. We talked on the phone about pointless matters that mattered to us. He explained his days and how his parents are taking him on a hiking trip tomorrow. I told him I was staying with Jimin and Yerin. Somehow, we ended up talking about the stars since we both were gazing at them by the window. The call was about to end since he said he had to sleep early in order to wake up and go hiking with his family. I nodded as if he was here to see me.

"But, Meng...."

"Hmm..what is it?"

"Mark...." I stopped.

He was silent for a while too. "Mark?"

"Ah, I just wanted to tell you that Mark's been wanting me to be his friend again...." I slighted confessed the truth. What I really wanted to tell him was that Mark and I kissed, more like he kissed me. But then again, I was scared that he would be mad at me and not want me.

"Oh..." I think he sighed afterwards. "Well, are you not going to accept his friendship?"

"I don't know. Would that be okay with you?"

Meng let out a short, soft chuckle, "I don't have a say in who you should be friends with. It's your decision. I don't want to be controlling over your friendships."

Meng was really amazing. He stood his place and never forced me to do what he wants. That was a definite charm.

"So you're okay with me and him being friends? I'm just scared that you'd misunderstand."

"Of course. You both were friends before me anyways." He cleared his throat and this time he talked in a lower volume. "If anything, I'm the one who's more scared. I'm not scared of misunderstandings because we can easily clear those. I'm scared because..."

"Because what?" I was anxious.

"Because I might lose you..."

He wasn't making my guilt any lighter. Because I was regretful and super guilty, I let the truth come out, expecting to hear the worst from him.

"Meng, I'm sorry. Today Mark and I talked....and we kissed. He kissed me. Trust me, I didn't want it and wasn't expecting it. It just happened and I feel like I've betrayed you and I'm really, truly sorry-"

"Kate, would you calm down and talk slower?" His voice was so calm as if he wasn't even mad though I could feel that part of him was breaking.

"Meng..." I choked on my cries. "I understand if you want to break up and if you don't ever want to talk to me or have anything to do with me anymore."

"Hey, Kate. Don't think so negatively so quickly. Look, I'm thankful that you cared for me enough to tell me....."

Why was he being so nice? Ugh.

He continued, "I know you're not someone to hurt anyone on purpose. I know your intentions weren't to hurt me or get rid of me, but I do know....that Mark has feelings for you." He became so serious. "Because I know that he does, I have a feeling that I might lose this battle. He's much closer to you than me at the moment and I fear the most that he'd win you."

"But, you've already won me."

"You don't understand. Guys don't think like that. Whatever we truly want, we'll fight until we get it. We don't give up easily because we hold our pride closely to us."

"So, you're giving me up to Mark?" I was hurt to think he'd let me go so easily.

"No, but I'll leave the door open for you. Whoever you walk to, I will be happy, but I'm not giving up on you, Kate. I will fight for you if you are willing to fight for yourself."

"But, Meng..."

"Kate, do you still like Mark?"

Our talk elevated quickly and it became like it was a life and death situation. I was so shocked how he knew that I at least liked Mark at a point in my life. Becaue of that shock, I asked him how he knew of Mark and my past and he carefully expressed that he overheard Cecilia and me talk about it that night we all spnt together. After his clarification, I notified him that I wasn't mad at him, but more like I was glad he found out someway because I never really wanted to bring it up to him, terrified that he'd hold it against me. We ended our call officially after saying goodnight. It then registered to me how Meng knew that Mark liked me still. Was it that obvious or did guys just easily catch those symptoms?

When Meng hung up, he dropped onto his bed as small tears came down from the corner of his eyes, strolling down his temples. Breathing was painful for him. He knew Mark would make whatever move he could to win Kate to his side. Meng never liked fighting for what he wanted because it was tiresome, but if it was for Kate, he knew he should. Thinking hard about it, he was debating whether to let go or hold on. Meng recalls the night that he talked to Mark during the last dinner hangout and how Mark admitted that he was possibly going to try to take back Kate.

"Kate, if you really want me, you'd choose to stand by me, right?" Meng talked to himself while staring at the ceiling of his bedroom.

Mark ruffled his hair.

"Mark, so I've been meaning to talk to you. Do you have time?" Cecilia walked into the dance room to find him alone.

"Yeah, what's up?"

She stuck out her hand as if to give a handshake. He accepted it, still oblivious to what was really going on.

"I just want to wish you good luck."

"With what?"

"With everything. Your career, your performances, your love-life."

"Oh, thank you?"

Cecilia nodded although part of her had to really up her weakness and be the better person to admit defeat. She was about to exit, but a familiar hand that use to fit so perfectly with hers slipped into her palm. There was a slight spark of hope that maybe he would stop her from avoiding him and being his again, but she knew that was probably the last option in the world for Mark to take.

"Thank you for all that you've done for me. I don't know how to pay you back. I only wish the best of luck to you too. I know you'll also find a better man out there." Mark confessed after knowing what she came into the room for.

Cecilia swallowed and gave one more nod before she left. Mark still felt heavy-hearted, but it wasn't so bad as before. He was sad that him and Cecilia were officially done. Did that mean they no longer were able to go back to each other if they later on find out they were more than perfect for one another? He didn't want to regret anything else, but he figured that he had to have himself laid out first before taking on the responsibilty of someone other than him.