Song for the chapter:

Not In That Way - Sam Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmI4sGC-Ewg

It has been 1 year and 11 months, almost 2 years since Mark and I have become strangers. Let alone, since his relationship has been released. I no longer met with the Tuan family after the disconnection with Mark. It's as if that part of my life has been out causing me to forget how things have changed and how the changes happened. Joey had disappeared from my life as well. It feels as though Mark had told him to stay away from me. Even if that wasn't the case, I had no face to see any family member of Mark's. It'll only remind me of how much hurt I've caused Mark. They probably hate me for treating their son and brother without fragile hands. My parent's friendship with Mr. and Mrs. Tuan were still solid, it's just me who no longer stayed close and kept the bond. The parents were always welcoming, but I never welcomed myself. My fault was too big to forget and the only way to forget was to cut every connection that led to Mark. The only person I had left closest to Mark was Jessica, but we no longer mentioned Mark in anything. I knew she still communicated with him, but that wasn't my business to put my nose into. Mark Tuan just became someone who I only new in my past life. He became invisible, transparent in my world. Though that may be, I still wonder about him and how things would've been if that day, about 2 years ago, I had taken the risk to become more than a friend, giving him the answer he wanted so dearly.

All the what if, should of, and could of statements ran wildly in my brain. They all don't matter now, but those thoughts generate old feelings from time to time. I've moved onto college whereas Mark has moved onto another girl. That's life.

  We move on and take different chances as we live. It's the courage within us that guides us to acceptance.

"Kate, please stay after class for a moment. I need to talk to you."

I knew the reason why Mrs. Schnoff wanted to see me. I knew because this wasn't the first time she had asked for me to meet with her after class. After much thought of my major, I've concluded with Liberal Studies and because I've come to that conclusion, Mrs. Schnoff who's the head of the Liberal Studies department has been trying to persuade me to study abroad. The reason holding my back is the location of the program. There were many different countries that the program opened doors to, but every where was full. The only program that still had a few spots left was Seoul, South Korea. The reason to decline is very clear in my mind. That place is untouchable. It'll bring too much on me that will effect my studies. The memories, the places, the person. I've been kepping up well with my grades that I didn't want to take the chance of possibly bringing myself downhill.

"Mrs. Schnoff, I am sorry, but I will have to decline the coutless offer." I gave her my direct reason.

She sighed with disappointment engraved on her facial feature. "May I ask why? This is a great opportunity. Students love these kind of offers."

"It's just not for me. At least not yet."

"You are more than prepared for this. Your grades are great and your credits are enough to graduate next year when really your class doesn't graduate until 2 years from now."

My voice shook and the true reason within me wanted to be released. Ms. Schnoff is a wonderful teacher. She always listened to other student's problems even when it had nothing to deal with school or her class. This time, I've become one of those numerous students that came to her to confess my hurt and fears.

"Mrs. Schnoff, as much as I want to go. I'm not ready to face my greatest fear."

"And what is that fear, darling?" She held my hand in hers like my mother would.

"I fear facing someone who once meant so much and who still does. Being in that particular location, it'll remind me of the broken friendship because of my selfish stupidity."

She smiled at me as if what I said amused her. She waved her finger in the air, "I don't think that's fear at all."

"Then, what is it?" I wanted to know more. I need thoughts aside from my own to fill me up.

"We often mistake care for fear. When we fear of losing someone, it's because we care for them. When we fear of doing something wrong, it's because we care for what's right. When we fear of facing challenges, it's because we care for succeeding. You only fear because to you, you still care for the lost friendship with that person, but the good about friendship is that they are mendible, but only if you give effort into fixing it."

It's easy to determine someone wise from someone foolish. The wise ones speak naturally as if they're addressing their own problem whereas the foolish ones speak as if they're only addressing your problem without trying to understand the knots and ends. To hear thoughts of others, sometimes shed light upon our own. It's sometimes then when we find light in our darkness that we've lost hope in.

"Think about it, Kate. It'll be a great opportunity to learn, but be an even greater opportunity to show fear in its' face that you've only cared all along."

Mark was practicing his stunts and dance steps alone as the rest went to eat at the company's cafeteria. He refused to eat until he got his flips right. Knowing how hard Mark could be on himself, the other boys let him be, telling him where they'll be if he needed to find them. Sweat drenched his hair down to his neck, arms, and torso, wetting his clothes that now look like used towels. He's the idol, Mark Tuan. He's Got7's, Mark Tuan. He's Cecilia's, Mark Tuan. He felt the need to reach perfection for all the titles he earned and now owns. He had expectations to live up to and he wasn't going to back down.

"Mark, you should rest." The young female who carries herself as Mark's girlfriend entered the dance room to see her boyfriend practicing moves over and over.

"Hey, babe." Stopping everything he was doing, even the music that was playing, he ran over to Cecilia purposely embracing her so he can wrap her in his sweat.

Cecilia is part of the upcoming girl group that JYP will soon debut. She didn't care of the sweat that Mark was blending onto her. She understood that it all was the definition of perserverance and hardwork. She hugged him back tighter. They pecked each other on the lips, but every smooch always led to Mark ending a simple kiss on her forehead. They always kept things sweet and when friends of theirs would see their acts, the hidden envy would show.

"You deserve food. My treat this time." Cecilia's goddess smile made Mark's heart tremble like lightening struck. "Let's go." She wringed her hand with his and pulled him to the cafeteria.

"You have enough money on your cafeteria card this month?" Mark held her hand tightly within his.

"Yeah, my balance just renewed so I'm safe to treat you."

Mark's own angelic smile was on display for every passing person in the company. He kissed her on the temple, "You're the best."

When sweet times like this occurred, memories of Kate dilutes as if they were never implanted in his life. Of course, he wonders about her too, but he was faithful to Cecilia who has him now. His feelings had fleed from Kate and now they resided with Cecilia. He's never one to play, but commit. Once there's one girl who proves him that he's worth it, then she is definitely worthy for him too. Cecilia and his relationship has been golden and perfect, so perfect that it'd make a great magazine cover to promote its perfection. Fans loved them together and even both families have met during showcase ceremonies. There were no odds against them. In fact, if they were to spontaneously announce an engagement, everyone would cheer. Due to their young age testing the waters of dating as idols, marriage was far from mind, but it does serve an example that they'd possibly make it farther than many.

When you find someone who meets you half way, you pour yourself into them because you know they'll never fail you.

That's exactly the case with the two lovebirds. They manage to meet each other half way and that power made them the strong couple they are.

Though Mark and Kate had bought themselves into thinking they've forgotten each other, they both haven't. Their daily lives have changed and the old has withered, but they both still remain in the back of each other's head. It takes longer than just a couple years to forget someone sometimes, maybe a lifetime, or even never.

The one who leaves the first scar is the deepest. The scar will never disappear, but be left as a battle mark that later represents the beauty one has become.

After much thought and restless nights in the dorm room, I made my way early in the morning to go see Mrs. Schnoff to tell her my decision. I wanted it now. I wanted to take on the risk this time and not let it run away from me. This is another chance that God has given me and I will refuse to let regret eat me up once again. On an educational level, this was going to be a phenomenal academic trip. On a personal level, it may be a chance for me to meet the person I've feared for so long and make up for the missed time. It may not change the fact that he's in a relationship now, but all I care at this point is to revive the friendship I miss and care for. I'm not one to wreck something so precious to Mark. His relationship seems to be going well and I wouldn't want anything less for him. I just want to see him, apologize, and know that he'll forgive me. If it comes to the point that I'll friendship has really gone under, I just want forgiveness. I want to be forgiven. I want to be heard. I want to be whole again by the time I reach home.

I haven't realized that I ran to the classroom until I was breathing hard.

"Kate, are you alright?" Mrs. Schnoff greeted me.

I steadied my breathing after inhaling and exhaling a certain amount of times. "I've decided. I want to be part of the study abroad program." I rested my hands on one of the desks, crouching down to calm my nerves and muscles.

"I'm sorry Kate..." A gloomy cast plastered over her face.

Was I too late to claim the open spot? Now, I had to dive into a state of depression for not making a quick decision. I was so eager to make it happen, but now it all me.

"Kate..........welcome to the trip! I'm so glad you accepted!" Mrs. Schnoff laughed and hugged me all in one.

Tears were so close to come out. I was about to cry due to the way she acted so well that I had lost the opportunity, but this time I was going to cry because I'm overjoyed that it was coming together to be true. Seoul, South Korea was going to happen for me.

Author's Note: Here's the frist chapter to introduce the developing continuation of the story. As you all can see, I've changed the format of my writing. I like it this way more than my previous writing style and format. Doesn't it look more professional and more of a friendly-read like this? Hehehe ^^ From now on, I'll write like this if ever I write stories in the future. I've only discovered this cool creation today so I decided to use it. As for my other ongoing Got7 stories, I'll continue formatting the original way. Once again, please show love to Jackson and Yugyeom and read my other fanfictions XD I know we all love the Mark feels, but my other loves need care too. LOL! Enjoy everyone! Leave comments below! <3