Jongin was going to be back – in this country, and most likely my life, because I was never able to resist him and lock the door on him – by next week.

The posters and billboards across the nation broadcasted his highly anticipated return in pride, but those I was able to disregard. Because it was Kai returning. Kai had no effect on me, since he was no Jongin.

But now, Jongin was returning. The personal aspect was present. The nostalgic longing was there.

And so was the heartbreak.

I didn’t know how to take it. My eyes lost focus in Mila’s direction, and my eyes threatened to sting again. My heart threatened to constrict, and butterflies threatened to emerge from their cocoons in my stomach. As Kris discreetly scolded Mila for bringing up such a sensitive topic again, I lost myself in my thoughts.

What was going to happen to Jongin and me? Did he even remember me? Us?

A series of questions flew through my mind, but I remembered that I was supposed to let go. I reminded myself that I forgot already.

But how could one remind herself of something that never happened?

I never buried everything that I knew about Jongin – his features, his pet peeves, his unusual habits, his favorites – and I never locked away our memories. Who was I fooling when I was trying to convince myself otherwise?

Myself.

A nudge on my side and a wave before my face brought me back form my pointless, directionless thoughts. I looked to my side and saw Sehun looking at me with an expression that mirrored mine when he was staring into space just a while before.

“Are you okay?”

I hesitated a nod, but answered a weak “Yes” nonetheless. I turned to Mila and Kris and bid them a curt goodbye, “I-I have a conference tomorrow. I should leave.” It was a little white lie to mask my discomfort with the entire situation, but I felt it was necessary. They were sensible enough to not question me any further. “Good luck with the wedding preparations, and just call me whenever you need my help!”

I escaped the unwanted publicity at the booth and let out a breath that I was unknowingly holding in. Shoving past the glass door of the café and people that were currently entering, I turned a corner and leaned against the brick building that seemed much too intimidating but I had no other option.

Fear and anxiety rushed through my body, forcing me to bend over with my palms resting on my knees. I unknowingly started to pant short breaths, as if I had just run a marathon. Why was I still so affected by the simple fact of Jongin coming back? It should not affect me – at least not this much. I removed one hand from my knees to cover my stinging eyes. I knew not what I expected from his return.

Perhaps, deep within me, there existed a streak of hope that I expected something from his return.

But we all knew that was ignorant of me.

“Hey,” a voice softly murmured beside me. I self-consciously wiped away the wet trails on my cheeks before looking up to meet Sehun’s worried gaze.

I muttered a reply before he asked if I was alright. I wasn’t. I was anything but “alright.” Nothing ever went as planned, and I was slowly breaking apart. Seven years. Seven years had done nothing but increase my longing and put my heartbreak on showcase. Seven years passed and he still ran through my nightmares, calling me to pull him back. Yet, during every time that I reached out, he evaporated into thin air.

Because he was long gone.

I shook my head slightly before choking on a pathetic sob.

Without a word, Sehun pulled me into his embrace and patted my back comfortingly. We both spoke no words, but it was enough.

His embrace felt oddly perfect and surprisingly comfortable.

For the first time in seven years, I felt at peace. For the first time, I felt safe and secure – in Sehun’s protective arms.

For the first time, the ache in my chest was no longer in control.