I no longer knew how to define my relationship with Sehun. We were friends, still – of course. That label was never to be altered. However, I began sensing that it was morphing into something else – no, something more.

           Just friends didn’t have heartbeats that fell into sync with one another. Just friends didn’t create perfect harmonies like we did. Just friends didn’t embrace like we did. Just friends didn’t lean their foreheads against each other, mirroring love-struck expressions. Just friends didn’t kiss. They didn’t like each other in a non-platonic way.

           Maybe we were not just friends after all, but what were we exactly? No, we were not in a relationship. I was not ready for one and neither did I want one. Who knew if Sehun wanted one? And even if he did, I was not at all certain that I was included in his options.

           When others teased us for our proximity and level of comfort with each other, I always cringed, yet I never knew if that was in pure discomfort or shyness.

           Nevertheless, our friendship was one that I refused to ever lose. Yet still, it began slowly slithering away from my grasp.

           It’s just another day at practice, I told myself. There was nothing out of the ordinary, and I was convinced to believe so. That was until Sehun and I’s practice was interrupted by an event that I never anticipated – or just never appreciated.

           “You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind,” the lyrics of the song declared. I grasped onto Sehun’s hand for a spin, but loud clamor outside the studio interrupted not only our steps but our entire practice.

           I was about to inquire about the situation until Liz sprinted into the studio hyperventilating about “the hottest dancer of the century.” “Oh,” she panted and stopped to gasp a weak breath between almost each word. “You guys…will not…believe…who’s coming!”

           Sehun and I instinctively looked at each other with raised eyebrows, wondering who this famous newcomer could be.

    “And-and-and he’s the guest performer for our fundraiser!” Liz managed to exclaim in a hushed yet excited manner. I guess this “star” was the guest whose identity Mark managed to conceal from all of us.

    “Listen up, guys,” Mark gathered all of us in the studio with a series of claps and waves. We formed a huddled circle around the leader, waiting for him to divest further details about whatever he was going to tell us. “This year, we have the wonderful opportunity to invite a guest performer for our annual fundraiser,” he told us and received whoops and hollers in response.

    When we began asking about the identity of the guest, Mark only dismissed our fervent requests with a simple, “You’ll see.” The group groaned and moved to disperse, but Mark stopped us. “And he’s going to pick one partner to do a duet with, so you all better work your asses off and show him everything that you have when he arrives.”

    This opportunity to work with a supposedly world-renowned professional dancer was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and of course I couldn’t simply let it pass without trying my best.

    I resumed my practice with Sehun, not particularly investing extra effort, since I did not at all anticipate the guest to arrive the same hour. However, an adoring round of applause disconnected Sehun and I’s locked gazes, and a simple, nostalgic comment demolished the fortress I built to protect myself.

    “You still mesmerize me,” a deep, sultry voice rang in my ears.

    My body stiffened, as if I was suddenly transported into the arctic glacial landscape and my blood froze in trepidation and anxiety. I felt my lips part and my breath hitch, even though my chest was furiously heaving up and down. Fearing that this was reality instead of a simple scene in another of my beautiful nightmares, I refused to turn my body to face the foreign newcomer. Thus, my trembling stare met with the reflection in the hardwood floor, only for me to realize that my hands were clamoring and shaking profusely.

    I felt a hand on me - Sehun’s. I sighed a breath of relief, but it didn’t last long enough to bring me comfort. “Are you okay? You’re shaking.” I know. I opened my mouth to voice a reply, but no words formed.

    The squeals and shrieks of female crew members reminded me, to my distaste, that this scene was one that was unfolding in reality - not my mind. “It’s Kai! Oh my gosh! He’s finally here!” was followed by a set of appraisals for his looks and dancing skills.

    He spoke again, and it suddenly brought me the courage to turn and face him with a glare - an accusing glower. But my voice only managed to squeak weakly and vulnerably.

“J-Jongin…”