We were friends – only friends.

At least that’s what I affirmed. Sehun was always there for me. He was there to piggy-ride me back home every time I injured myself during practice. He was there to accompany me whenever Kana ditched me for Luhan. He was there to always bring me midnight snacks and coffee whenever I pulled all-nighters for any major projects. But he was just a friend, because that’s what friends did for each other, right?

I thought – no, knew – that he never felt anything other than platonic emotions for me, especially during Kana’s fight with Luhan. He cared, perhaps abnormally greatly, for her. I saw that he cared for her more than how friends cared for each other. I knew he saw her as more than simply a friend, even when it was obvious that she loved Luhan deeply. I felt bad for him, but then again, it was a fact that he also knew rather well.

Although Kana sought to convince me otherwise and attempted to set us up, I still believed she was the one Sehun liked.

During her episode with Luhan, Sehun and I even fought because of them. At one point, I thought our friendship would end, but then I realized that he did not like her. And that he simply cared deeply about them because they were his closest high school friends. For some reason, I felt relieved by that realization.

When Kana’s mother passed away, we brought her back home and met with a distraught Luhan. I simply could not believe how he was able to simply disregard her during such a dire time. I was beyond furious at him.

Before that, Kana had expressed to me that she believed Luhan was cheating on her. Although that turned out to be a misunderstanding, I could not even care less. I honestly thought that it made no difference. Seriously, what different was it if he was not cheating when he was never home anyway? What did it matter when he disregarded her existence completely through negligence, be it intentional or not?

I looked around their apartment after opening the door to what was supposed to be the haven of the both of them. I searched, as if I was expecting to find him hidden in a crevice somewhere. Maybe then I would not have been so infuriated and completely hopeless about his cause. “He’s not even home,” I snapped along with a few curse words under my breath at Luhan’s aloofness. “Does he even care about her?! No wonder Kana didn’t want to talk to him during their misunderstanding,” I accused with hints of bitterness and anger.

“Jen, calm down. Luhan must have his reasons,” Sehun tried his best to appease me.

“Of course you would say that. He’s your friend,” I spat in response, earning a glare from Sehun.

“Kana is my friend, too.” Right, and you like her. Why did I even bother anymore?

But he was right. Why was I acting like Kana was my friend only, and not his? I was wrong for assuming that he was simply being considerate towards Luhan because he was siding with him only as a result of their friendship. I felt a pang of guilt hit my chest and I wished that I could take those words back. “Never mind. Let’s just put Kana to bed,” I concluded and helped Sehun tuck Kana’s limp body into her bed.

It was then that the rattling of keys on the other side of the main door caught both of our attentions and relit that fire of fury inside me. Did Luhan finally decide to come home to his wife? It’s already past midnight! No wonder Kana had been so worried. The door opened to reveal a disheveled and sweaty Luhan. “Kana? Are you home?! Kan-Oh, Sehun. Jen,” Luhan let out a breath of relief seeing our familiar faces. But all the color that returned to his face washed away in a matter of mere seconds when he caught sight of the body that was supposed to be his wife in their shared bed. “Kana!” He hurriedly rushed to her side and took her cold cheeks between his warm and secure palms. He muttered a few words under his breath as he leaned his forehead against his wife’s.

I glared at the sight before me as it did nothing to melt that icy block of disdain. “About time you showed up,” I hissed dangerously under my breath as I turned to leave the apartment.

Luhan snapped his head towards my direction and furrowed his brows, probably wondering why I was acting so hostile towards him. “I called!” he defended, but no excuse was ever going to be sufficient. “I-What-What happened to her?” Luhan asked in a shaky voice while standing up to catch up to me.

“What happened? You actually have the ing nerve to ask what happened?!” I screamed as my hands reached for Luhan’s collar. Before Sehun was even able to react and hold me back, I had already shoved Luhan into the wall. I hadn’t even realized how violent I was acting until I head Luhan’s back pound into the wall and a portrait of the picturesque couple shattered onto the hardwood floor. But I couldn’t hold back an ounce of my anger. He hurt my best friend, and I felt obligated to make him feel a small percentage of the pain that Kana had experienced because of him. “She called you! She needed you…So where the hell were you?! Huh?!” I yelled with each word dripping with accusation and spite. I felt my eyes water with tears of anger as my figure tremble.

“Jen! Let go! Come on! Let’s go.” Sehun’s distant-sounding voice brushed past my ears and somewhat lessened my outrage. I saw from the corner of my eye that he had come to our side and felt him begin to pry me off Luhan, who was standing with his head dropped low, perhaps in shame of leaving his wife’s side for a stupid conference. She needed him, but he was nowhere to be found, as always.

“ing ,” I shoved Luhan back one final time before releasing my iron grip on his shirt, leaving a set of fresh wrinkles on his button-down and a disoriented and tearing Luhan.

As I marched out the door, Sehun stayed a minute longer to explain to Luhan Kana’s state and vaguely about what happened before tracing my steps to leave the couple to privacy. We proceeded to his car without another said word, because he knew better than to infuriate me even further at my current state and I was in no mood to talk.