I like him, mani mani joahe...i can even dying knowing that i'm not see him for a single day. i don't care people call me crazy. I'm in love and I deserve to be crazy. though maybe not at that state...ah molla....that's the fact anyway. loving him it's really cost me money, all my part-time job check just vanished in second everytime its appears in front of my eyes. that's exactly time i feared everyone. for me seeing his face is priceless, that's what called love right? when giving all you have unconditianally? am I right?

"Ya!!! pabo ya!!! that's the most stupid thing I always hear from you!" said Minha with no more shocked face, she got used to it already.

"You don't understand! Just don't!" I said 

"Arasso...nan arasso! because you're crazy enough to believe such ridiculous thing. It's your pay for this week even include your overtime work. How can you spend that in a flash? don't you have brain to think at all?" She keep spit me with anger, 

I looked at her, sigh "It's not even your money...why you both..."

"Ya!!!!" her scream makes me jump in shocked, "It's not my money but YOU are a friend of mine, and is my useless duty at least to put your sense in the right place. Jinja!!! have you ever thought about it..." She sounds helpless, sitting in her chair staring at me who start to get scared of her.

"Hyora-ya..." She said calmly, well...trying. "Please...think about your future, you will graduted in a year. so stop thinking any idea that won't use. would you?"

I Smile a bit, to make her trying work, "Ara...it just I can't help it. you must know already. when you're in love there's nothing you could do...ne?"

"Ya...jinja..." She stand, seems getting her anger come again, but looking at me frowned, she hold it. "In love? back to your senses, it's not even a guy you're talking about."

"Wae? it's a guy!! can't you see?" I showed her the picture i'm holding.

She looked me in disbelief, "Do we really have to debating on this?"

I shooked my head immidiately,not to make it this conversation get worse. 

"Give me that...so i can tear it apart!" 

"Andwae!!!!" I hold that picture tightly, aware if she really mean it.

"It's Kim Soo Hyun! Napeun namja!"

"Ya!!!" I yelled, hearing he cursed at my man. 

"wae?? that's the reality. even if I cursed a thousand times he won't hear me and feel any pain, it's the same for you. though you say you love him until you die saying it, he won't stand here and loves you back. so...listen to me carefully ok? forget it...or if that's too hard just face it like a normal person that you and him living in different world. so you can just go with your life and see him once in a while. otte?" suggest her, wishing I undrstand her words.

"Ara..." I said unwillingly.

"Jinja?" 

"Ne...arasso, please be quite! we're at store right now. people watching you the whole time, you know..." I remind her.

She looks embarassed but goggled at me to show me how serious she is.

*************************************************************************

But as soon as she dissapears from my sight, it happen also with her words. Jinja!!! i can't even remember what she just said. so today I still stick with my schedule. I stand in one of the largest mall in my town. i'm not here for seeking a pricy bag or shoes. I don't really like place like a huge mall with a lot of branded store everywhere. it just not my place. my money easyly run out just to fulfil my desire about this guy. there's nothing to spend anymore.

ah...ok, i forget to tell you why i'm here. actually is not hard to guess. with this kind of crowd people here, and camera flashing anywhere, the reporters, and this one is my part...fans. yes. you're right I'm a big fans of the man named Kim Soo Hyun. the good looking, magnificent man Soo Hyun oppa. and those are the useless things they said that makes broke all the time.

By holding the photograph i just bought, i line up impatiently for my turn. i don't mind if i have to push over here and there. i just have to make sure that i have his sign clearly enough so it will always be fine to watch it for ages.

"Yaaaaa...MOVE." somebody yell behind me.

I'm uncomfortably looking back, and i found some girls staring at me mad. i sigh...this is the badluck of going here alone, i don't have enough army to fight, or maybe just to pull their hair, that's makes me upset a lot.

"everyone line up here, can you just do it? it's not really hard to do right?" I said calmly. turn my back to my former position. i heard they buzzing behind me...not long enough to hear what they said, the second later I feel someone push me hard enough to make me out of line.

It really surprised me, "what the..." I stare at them intensly, i know exactly who did that to me.

"ya...what are you doing?" trying to keep myself calm, though it's almost impossible.

"mwo? what are we doing? we just line up like everyone...but...."she stare at me pretending full of curiousity "i don't think you...too..." she smile more like an evil smile, it really piss me off.

"jinja...how dare you did something like this to me. do you think you that great???won't you move???give my line back since i'm trying to ask you nicely." they better feel threatening by now.

but instead of giving me space, they just stand still like my words never exist. damn. do I really have to pull their hair literally?

I take my breath once more, and it feels like smoke fill my lungs. my anger almost control my body.

"move..." I hold my scream.

still no reaction, even worse, they even look t the other side. i laugh in silent...great now i'm not exist either.

"ya...move..." i take one of their hand impatiently. she seems troubled. yes...she should be.

"move..." I said over again since I got her attention.

"shiro." she answer right away.

"mwo????"

"nwa. shiro." she try to let my hand off of her, but i hold it tighter. i didn't mean to hurt her, it just i'm so angry and when I saw the line...it's impossible for me to start over. andwae....she can't do that for me. meeting him is something that i long for the whole day. and she wants me to give up? just because her silly attitude. forget it...

"YAAAAAA...move." finally I scream a loud.

"aaahhh...you hurt me." she acting it, i know she is. me who is in a lot of pain. no...she can't do that. not to me.

"move..." still hold her wrist tight.

"nwa...please...please somebody hep me." she scream asking for help. what now? she really did a great job to exagregated it.

tears already hanging in my eyes, i can't think straight. i keep stare at her angryly, until hand trying to pull me back and let her hand go.

"miss...pleass follow us, you can make a scene like that."

I stare at them, two guys with black suits. looking at me just like I'm such a virus whose trying to infected everyone here. suddenly I feel so scared.