Woo’s Pov

People said “Just be yourself!” If you are a normal person, that is totally simple. If you are just a boy like every other boys, like dating beautiful girls and love to have a simple and peaceful job that right, “be yourself” is nothing hard. But if you are me, a gay, or like people call us “the mistake of life”, what can “being yourself” bring you? Being discriminated by people, being criticized by public. And it is one hundred times worse when I’m dreaming a huge ambition, to shine on the stage, to bring my name over the world. No one, not a single person in this world could understand my pain. The pain from the past, present and maybe future. Slamming the door shut and leaving Khun behind, I didn’t mind to hold back my tears any more. And I cried, cried my heart and lung out, shallow breath, short cries coming out. I wanted to die, to escape from this emotional pain which was a thousand times more than physical. But I couldn’t . I couldn’t give up yet. My dream has just started, my career has just begun. I have been through many challenges to be here. There is no way I’m gonna lose it. No way…

*flashback*

“Stop it! Don’t break things anymore. Our house rarely has any dishes left to be broken!”-I heard my mom crying outside. She sobbed and begged my father in vain. That man was quite drunk and all he knew then was to find me and beat the hell out of me.

“Let me go!! Where is that shameful son? Where is he? I told him not to go dance with those douchebag but he is too stubborn! Where is he?”-he yelled.

“He went to sleep at his friends house tonight!”-my mom’s voice babbled. She knew I was still in my room. She was the one who told me to hide when hearing my dad’s car drew up. She always protects me, what a mother does.

“Call him back right now! Or is he on bed with ting some guys right now hum?!”-I clenched my fist upon hearing those words. –“Why do you and I have to suffer like this? We only have one son and he is ually confused! I know right away he would turn out like this if he keeps going dancing with his gangs!”

I silently listened and dropped myself on the floor, hands covered my mouth to mute the cries. I knew I had no interest in girls in highschool. After a long talk with my parents, they know that there was no way to change me. My mom had cried a lot but she understood, she respected my decision. But not my dad. From the beginning, he always banned me from my passion to music. He banned me and now he knew that I’m gay, he hit me more and more when I sneaked out to dance. My father always thought that because of that weird dream that I turned out like this. More loud arguments, more dishes crashed down on the floor still couldn’t change his mind. So I had decided. I needed to prove that I could realize my dream. To show him that a gay like me can succeed just like everyone else.

The voice in the living room lessened. My mom knocked and told me that my father had slept. I dried the tears on my face, hugging her tightly.

“Mom, I can’t stay here anymore.”-I cried in her arms. “I love you and dad but I need to pursue my dream. And I will show both of you that I can do it.”

Her eyes were sad, like she didn’t want to let me go, but my mom nodded. She helped me pack my clothes, put some money in my hands, didn’t forget to tell me keep in touch. One last hug and I left, seeing her small figure fading away. That was that the last night I saw my father until I got into JYP.

2006

The forein boy walked in the practice room. From the very first day, I was amazingly attracted to him.What was his name again? Right, NichKhun. NichKhun was reserved and quiet, he talked to nobody. I wanted to make friends but language barrier was annoying. Today , he made mistake when dancing again. A small mistake but the teacher yelled at him. Everybody bursted out laughing, including me, but immediately regretted when I saw Khun lowered his head.

“Come on! Don’t poke on him anymore!”-I told other boys in Korean.

“Why WooYoung? Have you started to like this boy? Is international marriage okay?”-TaecYeon teased me and we laughed again. I laughed. TaecYeon, JunHo, JunSu, ChanSung are the four friends I have when I got into JYP. Unlike my father, they accepted my gender easily. Even take it as a joke to tease me but I didn’t mind. At least they didn’t disgust me.

But Khun didn’t seem like understanding the reason behind those laughters. He bowed low and left the room. I felt something in my stomach because I made that handsome boy sad. I ran after him but just when I walked out of the door, my phone rang.

“Hello, WooYoung’s listening”

“WooYoung, it’s me, your Dad.”-I froze when I heard his voice. I missed my dad. It has been a few years since I last saw him. I still kept in touch with my mom and she told me he was fine but annoyed whenever she mentioned my name. Now he was calling me.

“Come see me. I’m in Seoul right now.”-he texted me the address and off I ran. My fearful and shy look made dad sigh. He opened his arms wide to catch me in his embrace. He patted on my shoulder. Everything was close to the good old days. Just close to…

“Don’t think that I can accept your being gay. I still need more time Youngie ah. But seeing you got in this famous company, I believe in you. I believe my son can become a singer. So do your best! Don’t let me down!”-he tightened the hug. I returned him. Today was gonna be the best day in my life.

And things got even better back in the dorm. That night, with my new friend, also the guy I was having a crush on, I could smile freely again in that practice room. Everything had begun.

2008.

Skinships were more than miracles to me. Being beside Khun, seeing him smile, being hugged in his embrace was enough happiness. I never asked for more. PD of Idol Army gave me the scrip for passing papers game next shooting. The tingling feeling of jealousy crept into me. That feeling I have never known before. I felt upset when imagining NichKhun will put his lips on someone that is not me. “What’s wrong with you WooYoung!? Wake up!.” I thought I had totally lost my mind when I kissed Khun through that thin paper. I was always shy. That is who I am. Always shy and reserved, and in front of the one I love, it was hard to be confident. But this time was different, I was embarrassed of what I did but I had no regret. Though through a thin paper I could still feel Khun’s warm breath in my mouth, the desire to actually feel that lips cause that slight touch wasn’t enough.

A real kiss and our love story started. Days with Khun were the best days in my life. He didn’t know how much I love him, I need him and how important he is to me. NichKhun was the best boyfriend, the one who accepted me and loved me. Every worries were erased when I’m with him. One slight hand touch was enough to warm my soul. Everyone’s else discrimination is meaningless, cause I knew now Khun loved me. As long as he still loves me, I still have faith in myself, to live as the real me.

*~*~*

When I heard that anti-fan found out about our relationship, I almost fainted. Impossible, absolutely no. I had achieved my dream. It just started , there’s no way it could end like this, no way. I agreed to do anything to make sure that my career and Khun’s continued. Khun was very sure when he said the company wouldn’t dare to fire us, 2pm has brought to many profit for JYP. I knew he was right. But things weren’t that simple.

*~*~*

“Come in WooYoung!”-I was asked to sit down on a chair. Another shareholder of JYP that I haven’t met sat in front of me. I was nervous when being called here, without 2pm and without Khun next to me.

“Hello sir”-I bowed.

“I have something to discuss with you”-he breathed in and started to talk- “I heard Park JinYoung presented about the relationship between you and NichKhun. He had persuaded other shareholders to let you two stay. But let me tell you this, there are still some, and a lot, of us who don’t agree. Don’t think that you two are that important to this company. We could still find other people to replace when we fire you and NichKhun”-I was shaking terribly, sealing my lips, expecting what to come- “Those mistakes of life like you guys will never be accepted in this sociality. But I know it’s useless to tell you to break up. So I want you to do this. I had arranged you to meet Tiffany of SNSD. Make friends with her. Date and do what she wants, show the fan that Woofany is the new rise couple. But you are forbid to tell this to NichKhun or anyone else. Don’t even think about texting or calling to inform him. Because we will track your phone, follow you two everywhere, everytime.”-his eyes were full of anger. –“Show me how big and strong your love is to overcome such challenge. Good luck.”

And then he left, leaving me behind in that empty room, face between my hands sobbing hard. I knew this would be hard. But if I didn’t do it, our career would end. The flashback of my beloved father hugging me tight, putting all his faith in me showed up. I didn’t want to let him down, then again turn into a shameful son. I was scared that Khun would misunderstood but I had faith in him, had faith in our love. Things would be alright.

*end flashback*

Everything has ended. How ironic, that share holder was right. The love between Khun and me was nothing. He has never loved me and never will. I felt stupid and foolish for trusting him. With him, I might just be one strange toy, make him want to play a little. When he knew I hung out with his ex-girlfriend, Tiffany, he got angry. I should have realized this sooner. Over. Everything was really over. We broke up. Years being with me meant nothing to Khun when he still held onto her. He must love her so much. Oh yeah? You hurted me NichKhun? I will show you the same, make you realized how painful it is to lose the one you love. To me you are nothing now, nothing. I hated you so much, the one who betrayed all my faith and love. Tiffany, I will make you mine. 

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A/N: A peek into Woo's mind. Sorry for late update. I will make it up for you guys with two updates this week keke! What do you think about this chap? Comment and subscribe! <3 Love you all!